Born Into Slavery (updated with links)

Born Into Slavery

In 2009, I was told by a complete stranger on the street that I was “sold into slavery”. Given the events of my life, and the fact that I was adopted through a Catholic agency, it is not out of the realm of possibility. It did not take me much research to learn of the history Catholic organizations have with child trafficking, dating back in the 1960s, at least. I have been told that I was sold into slavery with the specific purpose of being a ritual sacrifice. There is no justification for what was done to me.  There may be more to be added to this document in the future, but I wanted to get it out before I die, or am imprisoned for some crime I haven’t committed. I fear this might be done in order to silence me. I have found myself to be a TI (Targeted Individual), but given the events in my life, I feel I have always been a target.

Before reading this, I would like you to have an answer to a common question I get from people who doubt what I am saying is true. I have had people ask me, “Why you?”, “Why would they pick you?”, and my favorite, “What makes you so special?”

Here is my answer: Why not me? I mean, if I am part of some experiment, does that question have any relevance at all? You might as well ask why Harry Harlow picked a particular monkey to be used in an experiment, or what made Dr. Jose Delgado use that particular cat for his experiment with brain stimulation? I was adopted & the records were sealed, so I

don’t know if my birth mother was from some bloodline or not. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding my adoption. Just being adopted through a catholic agency puts one at risk for being stolen, which then puts one at risk for becoming an unwitting participant in a human experimentation program. Of course, I am not implying that all adoptees are victims of nonconsensual human experimentation, only that they are at a greater risk for it, since their records are often sealed. After seeing a show on TV where a baby was being taken from its mother, I wondered if I cried like that was I was taken from my birth mother.

I do not know how long the implants have been there. I believe it may have been done to me when I was a newborn, during the adoption process. I suspect this to be the case, since I was in a hospital for a period of time after my birth, & since I never had pain at the cites of the implants. They go all the way through the cartilage in each ear. I need to have a doctor look at them, perhaps with a CT, MRI, or PET scan, although I prefer to have at least one of them removed. Since I have lost my job and have no insurance, this is hard to do. It doesn’t seem like anyone is willing to truly help me with this. Here are the photos of them:

 These are photos of my implants….

 This is an image I found at “lovingenergies.com”, showing the size of RFID chips. The implants in my ears are exactly that size.

It should be noted here that the word “psyche” refers to the spirit, in both Greek & Latin. Thus psychology most likely refers to the study of the spirit, but they don’t tell you that in school.

In 2008, I began to audibly hear what is being transmitted through these implants. I also found myself in near constant pain in my privates. The psychologist I saw, since I was made to appear delusional, tells me that I just have to live with the pain, but this is not really living. When I told her about the implants, which are very provable, she replied that they could be keloids, which are scars. This not possible, considering what keloids look like versus what I have on my ears. These are keloids:

Keloids (photo shown right) are ON the skin, while what I have is clearly UNDER the skin. I hear voices through the implants, and I also feel what can only be described as “impact sensations” through them. I had one person tell me that they were cutaneous horns, but those are also on the surface of the skin, not under it. Given the fact that I was adopted through a catholic agency, it is very possible that these implants have been with me my whole life, since the Catholic church certainly has more than one black mark on it’s record concerning it’s treatment of children.

When I discovered my implants in 2008, began to uncover my memories, and notice how orchestrated my life has been, I became a target for the worst kind of character assassination. I lost my job, my family, my world. I was abandoned in a foreclosed house, in which I lived with no power or water for almost 3 years. No one would help me, and the only way I could get a ride, or a warm place to stay during the coldest winter nights was if I allowed certain men to kiss and/or touch me.

I believe the implants in my head have been a major part of my problem throughout my life, & that, had I not been implanted, my life would have turned out very differently. A little research into the work of Dr.s Jose Delgado & Ewen Cameron (to name a couple), whose work in mind control goes as far back as the 1940s in some cases, will show that this is indeed possible. It is not only possible, but very likely, that these implants have been delivering subliminal messages throughout my life, or at least throughout their existence in my head. The proof is in the photos above. No one can say I am delusional regarding their existence or their placement in my head. I hear voices throughout them telling me I am a demon, or Satan himself, and that I am being killed & sent to hell. How’s that for a mind #@*!? I also hear high-pitched tones (on one side or the other-not ringing), and feel impact sensations, coming through these implants that I cannot seem to get a doctor to look at. Sometimes, the voices will tell me I am going to be framed for something, but I am a completely law-abiding citizen. Voices that were once subliminal are now broadcast 247 into my head to keep me in terror by calling me a criminal even though I am breaking no laws, telling me I am marked for death, going to jail, that I am just food, etc. At one point, I was at an amusement park with my daughter watching a show, when I felt a directed energy weapon attack: it felt like a hot poker going into my back and straight through my left lung, which I am sure is done to make it look like I died of lung cancer.

I must be a victim of either MK Ultra or the Monarch program, not only because I have these implants, not only because I had the classic near-drowning at 3y/o, or have had programming terms spill out into my conscious mind, but because it simply looks like my entire life has been orchestrated for the specific purpose of making me negative and to turn me away from God. At any rate, I can show that I have not been allowed much “freewill”, and its ending result was one of catastrophe. I am not even sure “freewill” even exists, hence the quotations. I urge any target reading this to read it completely, and then examine your own life to see how you may have been manipulated in relation to your name and/or birthdate, especially in regards to music and movies, as well as the tarot, used as a programming device, as opposed to a fortune-telling device. I am the victim of what can only be called Mind Control, regardless of what program was used. Taken separately, the events of my life may not look like Mind Control to most people, but when considered together, it cannot be denied that what happened to me was a classic PSYOPS experience or experiment, resembling The Truman Show, except in my case, I was debased, debilitated, and dehumanized on a fundamental level, whereas in the movie, they show the main character was raised by loving and attentive parents. After what I have learned about myself, and what I have witnessed in this country and the world, I am now forced to consider that the kinds of things that were done to me are occurring, in some level (even if a more subtle level), on a global scale, in order to make the whole of society unbalanced and unwell, and thereby easily manipulated by the hidden ones in power and the power structure. I am not writing this to disrespect my parents, which will be seen as my story continues below, as I know they too were controlled by this machine.

I have learned that certain occult brotherhoods, interested in making blood sacrifices, will force a woman to give birth on a certain day. I believe that my birthmother was more than likely induced to have me on 12/12, because of the predominance of that number in our culture, and its association in most tarot decks. I was adopted at 6 weeks, but I remember a photo of my father holding me and I looked like a newborn, which makes me think I was premature. They would do this to make sure that I would be weak and more easily manipulated.

The classic near-drowning at 3 years old, which I will document below, is known to be used in mind control & ritual abuse. Trauma such as this causes actual changes within the brain. I believe that the ritual drowning at 3y/o is done on purpose to contribute to destroying people’s true potential & making them easier to control. Adoption itself is a trauma, in that it is not natural for a baby to be separated from their natural parents at birth.

Another thing that shows I was manipulated to be negative is the fact that I was forced to write with the right hand, against my natural inclination to be left-handed. This was done by telling me, when I was learning to write, that left-handedness was evil. If the right hemisphere of the brain generally controls the left side of the body, as evidenced in studies of stroke victims, what does this imply for someone who is naturally left-handed, but forced to be right-handed? Is it possible that doing this to me could have “switched my poles”, causing a bright and intelligent child to slowly lose her natural God given gifts? Is it also possible that switching someone’s natural handedness could make them negative, less intelligent, unbalanced, and emotionally unstable? I believe it should be looked into. I believe that changing my natural, God given, left-handed nature caused me to lose ambition, creating a state of apathy & confusion, over time, and is at least partly responsible for my negativity. This is evidenced by the fact that when I was in grade school, I had a high IQ, and was in the top 2% of my class, but over time, my grades fell dramatically. I was lucky to graduate high school with a C average. While my mother’s negative influence in my life is, of course, partly responsible for this, I would have most likely been more self-motivated, had I been allowed to keep my natural left-handedness. This could also have something to do with what I document next.

There are many who believe that the tarot can be used to tell someone’s future, and others who would say it is meant to help people work through their psychological issues, but given my story, and how much it relates to a certain tarot deck (A. Crowley’s Thoth deck), I find myself thinking that these images had an unnatural and cruel programming type of an effect on my life, as did many other things in art, music, movies, and TV. After a certain amount of detective work, I have learned why.

“Life imitates art far more than art imitates life” –Oscar Wilde

As I mentioned earlier, I was born on 12/12/1967. I think it is very possible that the assignment of the number 12 in the trumps of almost every tarot deck, in addition to the prevalence of the number 12 in the bible and in culture, has also had a subliminal effect on me throughout my life, having a specific impact on my ego. In the tarot, the 12th card of the major arcana is usually The Hanged Man, an upsidedown person. Due to the patterns of my life closely relating to the Thoth deck, I feel that I may have been programmed with it. I have met one other person with a 12/12 birthdate, and he also feels like his whole life has been cursed. I certainly cannot deny the possibility, given the fact that my adoptive mother, born on 4/4, had a life that mimics exactly the 4^th trump in that deck. In the Thoth deck, the Hanged Man’s right foot is tied to an upsidedown Ankh, which is the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility. I find it sad that my ideas about life and fertility were always skewed in this way, although I had not known about this card for the majority of my life. As far as I know, I had never seen it, however, I must now question if I was shown this card in my youth, as some part of a mind control program. I only say this because of its serious and deleterious effect on my life. While I knew of my birthdate, I never really associated myself to that number on a conscious level, rather I have always identified with the number 3, possibly because I was baptized Catholic and received first communion.  I have to wonder if being born on this birthdate has affected others in similar ways, but I suspect that it depends on how the person is raised (including trauma in early childhood) in addition to their birthdate, name, numerology, tarot correspondences, and astrological sign, in addition to whether they were part of this mind control program that I seem to have been put through.

When one takes into account the occult nature of those who would be involved in such practices as MK Ultra and the Monarch Program, it is very possible that the tarot was used in conjunction with dark magic and mindcontrol, to create a peculiar pattern in my life that closely resembled the energy of the Hanged Man card throughout most of my life, causing me to blame God for everything in my life, turn away from the church given its history of killings and hypocrisy, and eventually sign a contract with a character named Enki (a Sumerian god), whom I was mindcontrolled into believing was the true God. I was only searching for the One True God of the Universe, and everything the churches were seen to be doing turned me away from them. By forcing my life into such a negative pattern (inverted-like the Hanged Man card), as you will see if you read this whole document, it was easy to turn me away from the God of the bible, making me believe that the bible lied. Given how the images from the tarot have affected me & other people I know, however, I now understand why the second commandment in the Bible states, “No Graven Images“. This is about something called “archetypal transference“.

Here are pictures of the, The Emperor and The Hanged Man, from the Thoth tarot:

While it seems that we have all been mind controlled to some degree, I see my case as slightly different from most people, only because of my mother’s 4/4 birthdate and my 12/12 birthdate, and how they were used against me. My mother’s card, The Emperor has so many symbols relating to her life that it was impossible for me to ignore. There are two rams (Aries) behind her (they “had her back” so to speak): the one on the left, representing my father, who always took care of her even after the divorce; and the ghostly one on the right, my grandmother who is deceased. The figure has one 8-point star in a circle (eight balls?) on either side, which represent my cousin and my brother, both born in August, whom she regarded fondly. The lamb at the bottom, represents me, from whom she was always looking away. This lamb is holding a flag, & one could say I was a flag waver for certain causes, such as Greenpeace (back in the 1980s). The Emperor is holding a ball with an equal-armed cross on it, so it is a coincidence that my mom was a trophy-winning bowler?

 

In my case, The Hanged Man is nailed down and unconscious, symbolizing how I have been unaware of what has been happening to me my entire life. Already mentioned is the fact that the figure is hanging upsidedown, from the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility, which shows how my entire life has been inverted. The fact that the figure has no clearly definable genitalia (just a lump of flesh in that position), is significant of castration, symbolic of the pain I am in today and have been suffering from since the middle of 2008. The serpent in the card represents the serpent class (or satan), connected via rays to the figure’s head, makes it seem that they are able to read my thoughts, to be displayed in some altered form, in movies, TV, but especially in music. One example of how my life has been played out in some form, in music, can be seen in the Beatles’ song, “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, where George Harrison sings: “I don’t know how you were inverted.” Another example would be the Kate Bush song, “Experiment IV” (4th trump=Emperor), in which she describes “a sound that could kill someone from a distance”, which relates to all the negative energies sent to me from my adoptive mother with that 4/4 birthdate. It is already well known that mind control is often addressed in music & movies. One thing I want to note here is that the things they are doing to mind control victims are played out in music in movies, so that when anyone complains of the effects of targeting and mind control, they can be dismissed as delusional (“Ah, you’ve been watching too many movies, man”). However, all one has to do is see how, even some political candidates, such as Connie Marshall (KY), and celebrities, such as Randy Quaid (his case told on YouTube), are now complaining of targeting, to understand that this is anything but a delusion.

For some good information on targeting, see: http://hrvcanada.blogspot.com/2011/10/connie-marshall.html.

It was not long after I discovered the effect on me from the tarot that I began to see the symbolism in certain words. Notice, for example, the following words: Bill, chill, mill, kill, till, all have the root words “ill” in them; and how the words bow, chow, cow, pow, sow, all have the root “ow” in them. It might mean nothing, yet it could still have a subliminal effect. I looked up the word “music” as two distinct words; mu and sic. Taken individually, they are defined as follows: Mu– 12th letter of the Greek alphabet, a lost continent in the Pacific Ocean, an opiate receptor, among many other things, and is a root in many words in the English language; and Sic– Intentionally so written, As written, A command to attack (as in “sic the dog”). That being said, one also has to take into consideration the sound of the word, “music”, as in “muse sick”. When I think of these definitions, and the way my life has been, I realize that my life seems orchestrated by some unknown entity, and I am praying that God would not do this to an individual. For example, my initials happen to spell “cat” (although my mother has confessed to not really liking cats), and when I was in school to be an artist, a woman entered that school, with the last name of “Skinner”, and somehow she was able to end up with many of my ideas without me telling her. I see this as related to the phrase, “skin the cat”. Later, she would introduce me to heroin at a vulnerable time in my life, which helped to ruin my career & my life.

My initials, C.A.T., seem to have been given to me, with the specific intent of dehumanization (possibly as part of this sick experiment). I have read that many

survivors of the Monarch program are given “cat alters”, although I am not a multiple personality. I do think I have repressed memories, since I have heard programming break through to my conscious mind. I am a Mind Control victim who was adopted (as some would say, “sold into slavery“) through Catholic Charities, but was held in the agency’s custody for the first six weeks of my life, creating an attachment disorder, causing me to be a very emotionally needy child. Unfortunately, my adoptive parents were either unable or unwilling to fill this need. I ask myself why my mother would me name me something with the initials spelling CAT, when she never really liked cats. My parents had a natural born, ten year old boy when I was adopted. My mother’s maiden name was Gaeta, so when she married, it became Nay Gaeta “negator”, which is a cruel symbolic irony regarding the effect she had on my life. She was in her thirties when I was adopted. She smoked three packs of cigarettes a day, which is possibly why she had two miscarriages before I was born. She used a method of child-rearing, common in the 1960s, which advocated leaving the child to cry and/or scream for hours in the crib without responding. This method of caring for a baby is cruel, and I cannot imagine why anyone who loved their children would do this. I am sure that it causes or contributes what is known as “attachment disorder”. My parents were upper middle class, so in the absence of love, they gave me material things. My father, working a job that kept him out of town frequently, wasn’t around much, and I felt his absence. Although she seldom had to work, my mother was also never around much, leaving the raising of me up to myself, and various nannies that would come and go during the first nine years of my life. My brother, who was ten years older than me, was usually away at boarding school. I had the classic near-drowning at 3 years old (common among Ritual Abuse victims), and I am told that my brother saved my life when I was found floating face-down in the pool, although considering the accounts of RA victims and participants (who are also victims) throughout the world, I now have no idea what the real truth is.  In any case, it is possible that this was a ritual drowning, done to bring me to a near death experience, which would then allow for spiritual and demonic influence in my life, and/or easier mind control.

My brother has told me that our mother was caught shaking him when he was a baby, and had to be watched, which is why we ended up with nannies during the first eight or nine years of my life. If this is true, I have to wonder where our nanny was when I fell out of the crib during one of those times when I was left to scream in the crib, by myself. That being said, I do know that my mother had an obvious mean streak in her (The Emperor-remember), and I did witness her beating on my brother when I was around five, and he was fifteen. I know she was beaten by her own father, and I suspect she was sexually abused as well, so I am not trying to show disrespect for her or my father, as I know they were both victims of their own programming, as were their parents before them.

My parents got divorced when I was around 9 years old, and I took it hard because I really needed my dad in my life. My dad moved out of state, and my mother and I moved out of the family home. We ended up in the place where I spent the second half of my childhood, in a literal house of mirrors. This is why I call it PSYOPS (PSYchological OPerationS), because living in a house of mirrors during my childhood had a direct psychological impact on me. We had mirrored bedroom suites, mirrored coffee table, mirrored wallpaper, a mirrored pedestal with a steel sculpture, mirrored sliding closet doors, mirrored shower doors, mirrored art on the wall, mirrored tissue dispensers, mirrored cotton ball holders, and even mirrored outlets and switch plates. I am not exaggerating here. There was only one room in the house that didn’t have this décor, and it still had one big mirror on the back wall, behind the bar. I know this had an effect on me as a child. After reading the book about mind control, by Fritz Springmeier & Cisco Wheeler, I learned about the use of mirrors in mind control, it just seems to have been done differently in my case.

By the time I entered my teens, I became a rebel and got into the punk music scene, which only fueled the fire, so to speak. While I was never a racist, I did end up doing some very negative things, but I never committed murder. I was involved in some ugly behaviors with friends though, such as playing around in graveyards. The lack of a father figure left me easily influenced by boyfriends, throughout my life. Since my mother was never around when I was growing up, and when she was, she mostly gave negative feedback, I had very little encouragement, causing me to be lonely and angry. I felt bullied by her for the most part. She gave very little love, and just seemed to want to spend all her time with her friends. She was an avid bowler (see the image of the 4^th trump of the Thoth deck above), and would drag me to smoke-filled bowling alleys. She smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day throughout my infancy and childhood, keeping a smoke-filled home & car, which not only gave me asthma, but also a nicotine addiction. Instead of trying to reason with me, my mother would yell at me for bad behavior, with the following recurring theme: “You are stupid, stupid, stupid, and you’re never going to amount to anything!”, among other similar negative feedback patterns, which is, of course, more PSYOPS (as if the mirrors weren’t enough).

I have forgiven my parents for what they did because I know they must be victims of their own programming, or were coerced into adopting me and leaving me alone throughout most of my childhood, possibly as part of the experiment. My parents may have been unwitting participants in the scheme that I have witnessed occurring in my life, being victims of their own upbringing, so I have forgiven them, but I cannot forget the fact that neither of my parents were around much when I was growing up, which caused me to be quite emotionally needy, a quality that helped to destroy my life before I ever had a chance. There are many children who have suffered through similar divorce effects in their lives, however, the implants, the mirrors, the near-drowning at 3y/o, the adoption, and the symbolism I have referenced are simply too much for me to chalk up to a “child of divorce syndrome”.

Although I might’ve been guilty of taking a few dollars from my mother here and there, during my teen years, I never stole large amounts of cash from her. When I was 17 years old, however, I got accused of stealing her wallet, which had $800 cash and her credit cards. While I know I did not do this because I fell asleep and woke up on the phone with my boyfriend at the time, she allowed the police to take me in for questioning, who then coerced me into a false confession. I don’t know if the police just wanted a scapegoat, or if this was a part of PSYOPS done on me to make me fear police and other officials so I would be afraid to go to them for help. It also made me more of a rebel. This event helped to ruin my relationship with my mother.

When I began to have memories resurface about mistreatment in my life, I became a target for what is known as PSYOPS, COINTELPRO, and Electronic Harassment. I began to hear voices through the implants on my head, done in order to discredit me. At first, they sent me positive messages, making me feel loved and cared for, but this soon turned to horrible and cruel words, designed to make me very sad and negative. Any professional I see wants to make me out to be schizophrenic, but won’t even do me the courtesy of getting these things on my head examined by a medical doctor. This tells me they are either in denial or are criminally negligent.

My mother was involved in a class action lawsuit against the tobacco companies which was won back in 2008 (or so my brother told me). My mother has passed away, and during the height of my breakdown involving the voices coming through my implants, and while I was living in that foreclosed house without water or power, my brother got me to sign over executorship of my mother’s estate. This leads me to believe that something fishy is going on. If anyone cares, please say a prayer for me. While me standing to inherent a large sum of money that a particular tobacco company might not want to pay could be one reason for my targeting, the implants in my ears lead me to believe this has been going on since my early childhood.

As noted, there may be more to this document to come, but I wanted to get it out before I die, or am imprisoned for some crime I haven’t committed. I fear this might be done in order to silence me.

Resources/References:

“The Hidden Evil”, by Mark M. Rich: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7UjwZXfLpG6UFpiNUQ0dDJjSlE/edit?usp=sharing

Adoption Scandals/Child Trafficking: http://news.yahoo.com/forced-adoptions-for-unwed-mothers-around-the-globe.html

“Brainchips”: http://www.wireheading.com/delgado/brainchips.pdf

Excerpts from Dr. Jose Delgado’s “Physical Control of the Mind”: http://www.biotele.com/delgado_%20ebook/chap13.htm

Etymology of the word “psyche”: http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=psyche

Ewen Cameron Brainwashing Case: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/montreal-woman-seeks-compensation-in-50s-brainwashing-case-1.670151

Trauma’s effects on the brain: http://www.kekuniminton.com/Brain-Function.html

Adoptee Trauma: http://adoptionvoicesmagazine.com/adoptee-view/adoptee-view-what-can-a-tiny-baby-know/#.UwtMKrCPKUkmusicis2words All rights reserved.

musicis2words © 2014 All rights reserved

Trauma and Its Effects on the Psyche/Spirit (reblogged)

This is pertinent to what has been going on in our world lately, & so I am bumping it up….

Trauma and Its Effects on the Psyche/Spirit 

(Links to resources at bottom of article)

Most people these days understand that trauma has psychological effects. If you’ve been reading my other articles, then you understand that the word psyche derives from both Greek and Latin words that refer to “spirit“.

Psychology is therefore, the study of the psyche or spirit.

Trauma in childhood is recognized in the psychological community as having a negative impact on behavior, causing things like PTSD, Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Paranoid Personality Disorder, and Schizoid Personality Disorder, to name a few. I suspect that the more trauma a person has in their life, whether in childhood or adulthood, the more problems will manifest in their psyche (spirit), and in their behavior, causing them to be prescribed multiple psych drugs over their lifetimes.

Is this some sort of a formula or what?

While I do have some strong misgivings about the discipline of psychology and their over-emphasis on drugs for behavioral disorders, when there are no real objective tests for most of these disorders, this does not make psychology an invalid science… just a flawed & corrupted one, in need of more thorough oversight in the community, since it seems like the whole discipline has fallen into the hands of big pharma.

People with PTSD have been found to have elevated stress hormones (cortisol) which can lead to heart disease, and also to the shrinkage of the hippocampus (which affects the transfer of facts from short-term to long-term memory).

Trauma & Circumcision:

After doing some research on the subject of trauma & PTSD, I have noticed that the most common groups studied in relation to this are veterans & children. I find it interesting that no one seems to be studying the effects of trauma in infancy. I realize that this may be more difficult to get anecdotal information from infants, however, one could measure the amounts of cortisol in the brain before & after a circumcision, for example, or before and after a child is taken from its natural mother during the adoption process.

I mention circumcision because it is the mutilation of a male child’s penis, usually done immediately after birth, unless the child is an orthodox Jew, who will get this done at 13 years old, viewing it as a “rite of passage”. When I consider circumcision, I cannot help but consider the long term psychological impact of this practice on a newborn baby. Sadly, the families who allow it & the doctors who perform it apparently do not question the ramifications of this wicked trauma done on a newborn. I think this is why so many males don’t question going off to war… they’ve already been prepped with violence.

Circumcision is a physical assault on the most sensitive part of a male child’s body, which then makes it a violation of the psyche as well. If considered in combination with the existence of the chakras, this mutilation of an organ in the root chakra has affects on emotions involving security needs. Trauma at such a young age, whether through circumcision or through the unceremonious routines of measuring & weighing, blood testing, a vitamin K shot, vaccines, & drops or ointment in the eyes, would seem to have some sort of emotional impact on the psyche of a newborn baby that is supposed to be experiencing its first few hours bonding with its mother.

About the root chakra: “The root chakra is responsible for your sense of belonging, safety, and security in the world.  It’s main concern is survival of the self. (Emphasis Mine) The health of our blood, immune system, bones, joints and spine is dependent on the emotions associated with this chakra. It envelops the body’s basic needs for safety, money, sexuality, groundedness and boundaries.  People who have trouble with their first chakra may not have developed a strong identity and have not discovered their life purpose.  If they are too yin they may be ungrounded.  If they are too yang there might be too much attachment to material things, too much self-indulgence and a preoccupation with satisfaction of their own needs.”  – from naturalhealthtechniques.com (link below)

So any trauma in early infancy would naturally have effects on the root chakra, causing security issues in the psyche, which then ripens them up to be conditioned into good little consumers, who are very needy, and often greedy.

Circumcision would of course have the strongest impact of all the “routine” procedures done to a newborn after birth. Have you ever seen a circumcision on a newborn baby? The one I saw was awful, & proved to me that babies do feel pain, regardless of what the doctor may tell you. The question is, what are the long term effects of such a traumatic procedure on an infant’s psyche?

It is my feeling that trauma in infancy & early childhood has a tendency to soften up the mind & make people more easily controlled by the societal conditioning, which is in turn, controlled by the so-called “hidden hand” (corporate elites), through the use of education, religion, television, movies, music, literature, & yes, even through the use of brain implants, on par with the research of people like Dr. Jose Delgado & Dr. Ewen Cameron. It sets in the newborn’s mind, a state of shock, coloring almost everything that happens shortly after birth, including the bonding experience with the parents. I suspect that the traumatized brain of an infant or young child is much more easily hypnotized by the flicker-rate of the television, which is known to induce a trance-like state in those who watch it.

Trauma & Adoption:

There are other traumas that occur during infancy, such as adoption. Now recognized as a traumatic experience by many metal health professionals, with life-long consequences, adoption has a deep psychological impact on the child, leading to a disproportionate number of adoptees seeking help for mental health issues. Adoptees often end up with various forms of attachment disorder, addictions, depression, & obsessive behaviors, to name a few.

While the damage from the aforementioned traumas may have already been done to the psyche, & while some of these people do need medication for the deep psychological issues caused by these events in order to be functional, would it not make perfect sense to examine evidence (measuring cortisol) that is now available with relation to trauma & its effects on the brain?

Trauma Based Mind Control:

Most people who have done any research into the subject of trauma-based mind control understand that it is a powerful way to alter the mind. The more sensational cases of people, like Cathy O’Brien or Brice Taylor, speak of the splitting of the mind into multiple personalities through the use of trauma. I contend that the creation of MPD in a person is not necessary for mind control to be achieved.

Learned Helplessness:

Evidence of this concept can be found in the way the American public mostly sat back & watched as their freedoms were eroded in the years following September 11th, 2001. Had they not been repeatedly exposed to the trauma of the event at the World Trade Center, would it have been as easy for those in power to erode American liberties? Does the fact that the United States has been at war for so many years now have a general impact on the collective psyche of its inhabitants, a population which was raised on television? Is it possible that trauma delivered on such a large scale has anchored trauma in infancy or childhood, & induced a state of learned helplessness?

“The concept of learned helplessness was discovered accidentally by psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven F. Maier. They had initially observed helpless behavior in dogs that were classically conditioned to expect an electrical shock after hearing a tone. Later, the dogs were placed in a shuttlebox that contained two chambers separated by a low barrier. The floor was electrified on one side, and not on the other. The dogs previously subjected to the classical conditioning made no attempts to escape, even though avoiding the shock simply involved jumping over a low barrier.” – from psychology.about.com (link below)

The above study was done in 1967.

Please reread that above paragraph & let the information sink in. It shows that repeated trauma can induce a state of learned helplessness.

Trauma & Television in Conditioning:

Traumatize a baby & then sit it in front of the television for a while. Most people go into a sort of trance when watching television anyway, due to the flicker-rate (aka “refresh-rate”) effect. Since the child’s mind is like a sponge, it will suck up all the programming you want. Granted, this is a highly contested statement about television programming, however, it should be considered that, at the very least, watching TV can put a person into a hypnotic, trance-like state, causing things being said to them afterwards to have the possibility of becoming a post-hypnotic suggestion. Hence, advertising.

Let me illustrate this idea: Let’s say you are a 13 year old kid, watching a couple of hours of TV before bed. Right after you turn that TV off, you hear your dad complaining that you didn’t take the trash out or get the mail. He gets angry & says that you’re stupid a number of times. Does this statement that you are stupid have an increased possibility of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy because you were just in a trance for the past 2 hours before hearing it? Would there be a difference in the effect depending on whether you experienced trauma in infancy or early childhood? Could this have something to do with the reason many victims of mind control programs cite the ritual drowning at 3 years old as being one of their experiences?

It seems to me that trauma has as one of its effects a type of fracture of the psyche or spirit. Setting newborn babies up in this way has caused most of us to end up with an unnatural state of need & insecurity, which is then played on by all sorts of advertising making people desire things they do not need. It also has, as an unfortunate (but possibly intended) side effect: a tendency to cause symptoms such as obsessions, attention deficit disorders, depression, hoarding, paranoia, eating disorders, drug & alcohol addiction, shopping addictions, social anxiety, & other behaviors categorized as mental dysfunction. In reality, these behavioral problems are merely a reaction to adverse stimuli that has occurred since birth, & in some cases, over the course of a lifetime.

Natural Trauma:

There are plenty of traumas that are natural aspects of life. These include birth, loss of a parent, injuries, etc. These natural traumas may cause some issues with the psyche, but they will be healed over time. The problem is that there are so many orchestrated & manipulated traumas in a person’s life these days, including the examples I mentioned above, that the psyche never gets a real chance to heal.

Conclusion:

Between trauma in infancy & early childhood, and trauma witnessed in the news every day, it becomes clear to see an atmosphere of terror is causing these mental/emotional/spiritual issues to manifest in people. The event of what happened to the World Trade Center marked a turning point in traumatizing the masses to allow those with power to enslave the people in such a way, that they would not even recognize their slavery.

Is it any wonder that so many people these days are running to the psych doctor for medication to alleviate their symptoms?

Is it any wonder that people have allowed their civil liberties to be eroded, given the discovery of learned helplessness as related to trauma? This has been going on longer than anyone realizes, & has far reaching implications.

musicis2words © 2014 All rights reserved

References & Related Links:

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=psyche

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flicker_fusion_threshold

http://psychology.about.com/od/lindex/f/earned-helplessness.htm

http://www.motherearthnews.com/nature-and-environment/effects-of-watching-tv-zmaz79mazraw.aspx

http://www.vsn.org/trauma.html

http://www.adoptionhealing.com/SmilingAdoptees.html

http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/studies/SchechterOAC.htm

http://www.bobafamily.com/research/exterogestation-and-the-need-to-be-held/

http://www.originsnsw.com/mentalhealth/

http://naturalhealthtechniques.com/basicsofhealthchakra_system.htm

http://psychcentral.com/lib/understanding-the-effects-of-trauma-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/0003971

http://www.nytimes.com/1995/08/01/science/severe-trauma-may-damage-the-brain-as-well-as-the-psyche.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/children-trauma-update.aspx

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/18/how-trauma-can-affect-your-body-mind/

http://www.silventarphotography.com/psych/articles/TheLongTermEffectsofChildhoodTraumaandAbuse

Trauma and It’s Effects on the Psyche/Spirit

 

Trauma and Its Effects on the Psyche/Spirit

(Links to resources at bottom of article)

Most people these days understand that trauma has psychological effects. If you’ve been reading my other articles, then you understand that the word psyche derives from both Greek and Latin words that refer to “spirit“.

Psychology is therefore, the study of the psyche or spirit.

Trauma in childhood is recognized in the psychological community as having a negative impact on behavior, causing things like PTSD, Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Paranoid Personality Disorder, and Schizoid Personality Disorder, to name a few. I suspect that the more trauma a person has in their life, whether in childhood or adulthood, the more problems will manifest in their psyche (spirit), and in their behavior, causing them to be prescribed multiple psych drugs over their lifetimes.

Is this some sort of a formula or what?

While I do have some strong misgivings about the discipline of psychology and their over-emphasis on drugs for behavioral disorders, when there are no real objective tests for most of these disorders, this does not make psychology an invalid science… just a flawed & corrupted one, in need of more thorough oversight in the community, since it seems like the whole discipline has fallen into the hands of big pharma.

People with PTSD have been found to have elevated stress hormones (cortisol) which can lead to heart disease, and also to the shrinkage of the hippocampus (which affects the transfer of facts from short-term to long-term memory).

Trauma & Circumcision:

After doing some research on the subject of trauma & PTSD, I have noticed that the most common groups studied in relation to this are veterans & children. I find it interesting that no one seems to be studying the effects of trauma in infancy. I realize that this may be more difficult to get anecdotal information from infants, however, one could measure the amounts of cortisol in the brain before & after a circumcision, for example, or before and after a child is taken from its natural mother during the adoption process.

I mention circumcision because it is the mutilation of a male child’s penis, usually done immediately after birth, unless the child is an orthodox Jew, who will get this done at 13 years old, viewing it as a “rite of passage”. When I consider circumcision, I cannot help but consider the long term psychological impact of this practice on a newborn baby. Sadly, the families who allow it & the doctors who perform it apparently do not question the ramifications of this wicked trauma done on a newborn. I think this is why so many males don’t question going off to war… they’ve already been prepped with violence.

Circumcision is a physical assault on the most sensitive part of a male child’s body, which then makes it a violation of the psyche as well. If considered in combination with the existence of the chakras, this mutilation of an organ in the root chakra has affects on emotions involving security needs. Trauma at such a young age, whether through circumcision or through the unceremonious routines of measuring & weighing, blood testing, a vitamin K shot, vaccines, & drops or ointment in the eyes, would seem to have some sort of emotional impact on the psyche of a newborn baby that is supposed to be experiencing its first few hours bonding with its mother.

About the root chakra: “The root chakra is responsible for your sense of belonging, safety, and security in the world.  It’s main concern is survival of the self. (Emphasis Mine) The health of our blood, immune system, bones, joints and spine is dependent on the emotions associated with this chakra. It envelops the body’s basic needs for safety, money, sexuality, groundedness and boundaries.  People who have trouble with their first chakra may not have developed a strong identity and have not discovered their life purpose.  If they are too yin they may be ungrounded.  If they are too yang there might be too much attachment to material things, too much self-indulgence and a preoccupation with satisfaction of their own needs.”  – from naturalhealthtechniques.com (link below)

So any trauma in early infancy would naturally have effects on the root chakra, causing security issues in the psyche, which then ripens them up to be good little consumers, who are very needy, and often greedy.

Circumcision would of course have the strongest impact of all the “routine” procedures done to a newborn after birth. Have you ever seen a circumcision on a newborn baby? The one I saw was awful, & proved to me that babies do feel pain, regardless of what the doctor may tell you. The question is, what are the long term effects of such a traumatic procedure on an infant’s psyche?

It is my feeling that trauma in infancy & early childhood has a tendency to soften up the mind & make people more easily controlled by the societal conditioning, which is in turn, controlled by the so-called “hidden hand” (corporate elites), through the use of education, religion, television, movies, music, literature, & yes, even through the use of brain implants, on par with the research of people like Dr. Jose Delgado & Dr. Ewen Cameron. It sets in the newborn’s mind, a state of shock, coloring almost everything that happens shortly after birth, including the bonding experience with the parents. I suspect that the traumatized brain of an infant or young child is much more easily hypnotized by the flicker-rate of the television, which is known to induce a trance-like state in those who watch it.

Trauma & Adoption:

There are other traumas that occur during infancy, such as adoption. Now recognized as a traumatic experience by many metal health professionals, with life-long consequences, adoption has a deep psychological impact on the child, leading to a disproportionate number of adoptees seeking help for mental health issues. Adoptees often end up with various forms of attachment disorder, addictions, depression, & obsessive behaviors, to name a few.

While the damage from the aforementioned traumas may have already been done to the psyche, & while some of these people do need medication for the deep psychological issues caused by these events in order to be functional, would it not make perfect sense to examine evidence (measuring cortisol) that is now available with relation to trauma & its effects on the brain?

Trauma Based Mind Control:

Most people who have done any research into the subject of trauma-based mind control understand that it is a powerful way to alter the mind. The more sensational cases of people, like Cathy O’Brien or Brice Taylor, speak of the splitting of the mind into multiple personalities through the use of trauma. I contend that the creation of MPD in a person is not necessary for mind control to be achieved.

Learned Helplessness:

Evidence of this concept can be found in the way the American public mostly sat back & watched as their freedoms were eroded in the years following September 11th, 2001. Had they not been repeatedly exposed to the trauma of the event at the World Trade Center, would it have been as easy for those in power to erode American liberties? Does the fact that the United States has been at war for so many years now have a general impact on the collective psyche of its inhabitants, a population which was raised on television? Is it possible that trauma delivered on such a large scale has anchored trauma in infancy or childhood, & induced a state of learned helplessness?

“The concept of learned helplessness was discovered accidentally by psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven F. Maier. They had initially observed helpless behavior in dogs that were classically conditioned to expect an electrical shock after hearing a tone. Later, the dogs were placed in a shuttlebox that contained two chambers separated by a low barrier. The floor was electrified on one side, and not on the other. The dogs previously subjected to the classical conditioning made no attempts to escape, even though avoiding the shock simply involved jumping over a low barrier.” – from psychology.about.com (link below)

The above study was done in 1967.

Please reread that above paragraph & let the information sink in. It shows that repeated trauma can induce a state of learned helplessness.

Trauma & Television in Conditioning:

Traumatize a baby & then sit it in front of the television for a while. Most people go into a sort of trance when watching television anyway, due to the flicker-rate (aka “refresh-rate”) effect. Since the child’s mind is like a sponge, it will suck up all the programming you want. Granted, this is a highly contested statement about television programming, however, it should be considered that, at the very least, watching TV can put a person into a hypnotic, trance-like state, causing things being said to them afterwards to have the possibility of becoming a post-hypnotic suggestion. Hence, advertising.

Let me illustrate this idea: Let’s say you are a 13 year old kid, watching a couple of hours of TV before bed. Right after you turn that TV off, you hear your dad complaining that you didn’t take the trash out or get the mail. He gets angry & says that you’re stupid a number of times. Does this statement that you are stupid have an increased possibility of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy because you were just in a trance for the past 2 hours before hearing it? Would there be a difference in the effect depending on whether you experienced trauma in infancy or early childhood? Could this have something to do with the reason many victims of mind control programs cite the ritual drowning at 3 years old as being one of their experiences?

It seems to me that trauma has as one of its effects a type of fracture of the psyche or spirit. Setting newborn babies up in this way has caused most of us to end up with an unnatural state of need & insecurity, which is then played on by all sorts of advertising making people desire things they do not need. It also has, as an unfortunate (but possibly intended) side effect: a tendency to cause symptoms such as obsessions, attention deficit disorders, depression, hoarding, paranoia, eating disorders, drug & alcohol addiction, shopping addictions, social anxiety, & other behaviors categorized as mental dysfunction. In reality, these behavioral problems are merely a reaction to adverse stimuli that has occurred since birth, & in some cases, over the course of a lifetime.

Natural Trauma:

There are plenty of traumas that are natural aspects of life. These include birth, loss of a parent, injuries, etc. These natural traumas may cause some issues with the psyche, but they will be healed over time. The problem is that there are so many orchestrated & manipulated traumas in a person’s life these days, including the examples I mentioned above, that the psyche never gets a real chance to heal.

Conclusion:

Between trauma in infancy & early childhood, and trauma witnessed in the news every day, it becomes clear to see an atmosphere of terror is causing these mental/emotional/spiritual issues to manifest in people. The event of what happened to the World Trade Center marked a turning point in traumatizing the masses to allow those with power to enslave the people in such a way, that they would not even recognize their slavery.

Is it any wonder that so many people these days are running to the psych doctor for medication to alleviate their symptoms?

Is it any wonder that people have allowed their civil liberties to be eroded, given the discovery of learned helplessness as related to trauma? This has been going on longer than anyone realizes, & has far reaching implications.

References & Related Links:

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=psyche

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flicker_fusion_threshold

http://psychology.about.com/od/lindex/f/earned-helplessness.htm

http://www.motherearthnews.com/nature-and-environment/effects-of-watching-tv-zmaz79mazraw.aspx

http://www.vsn.org/trauma.html

http://www.adoptionhealing.com/SmilingAdoptees.html

http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/studies/SchechterOAC.htm

http://www.bobafamily.com/research/exterogestation-and-the-need-to-be-held/

http://www.originsnsw.com/mentalhealth/

http://naturalhealthtechniques.com/basicsofhealthchakra_system.htm

http://psychcentral.com/lib/understanding-the-effects-of-trauma-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/0003971

http://www.nytimes.com/1995/08/01/science/severe-trauma-may-damage-the-brain-as-well-as-the-psyche.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/children-trauma-update.aspx

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/18/how-trauma-can-affect-your-body-mind/

http://www.silventarphotography.com/psych/articles/TheLongTermEffectsofChildhoodTraumaandAbuse

Copywrited © 2013 musicis2words all rights reserved

Stop this Nonsense

08/25/2013:

I am a victim of mind control, PTSD, and OTSD.

I am threatened with poverty, jail, death, and eternal damnation, on a near constant basis. I also feel horrible pain in my privates. I was driven nuts in 2008 when I first began to hear their voices, telling me that all soul mates were coming back together & that everything was going to be made good in the world. Eventually, all those good sentiments turned into sheer psychological torture, on top of the physical pain in my privates which had disabled me to the point where I could not work a job, as I was on the floor screaming in pain for about 3 months.

The excuses for what they are doing to me are as follows: I am told that it serves me right, that I’m evil, that I’m satan or a demon & that these rfid-sized implants in my ears are horns. I’m told I was bad & that this is my punishment. I am told that it’s my karma although, if I had been allowed to develop the way God or nature intended, I would be a completely different person. I also hear that it’s because I am a bastard, & God don’t love bastards. Although, being adopted doesn’t necessarily mean that I was born out of wedlock, nor does it mean that my parents didn’t want me, considering all those adoption scandals out there.

I have also been told that they want no witnesses, so could they be alluding to my status as a nonconsensual human experimentee? These rfid-sized chips going through the the cartilage of my ears would indicate that this is a possibility. I am wearing the proof of what was done to me, & it is in their best interest to kill me. I can only hope that they die & come back into my life, to see how well they end up. While I may have made many mistakes in my life, I’m no serial killer, for cryin outloud!

More often than not, most other victims I come across do not keep in touch. We will send a couple of emails back and forth, or comment to each other on a blog or website, and then it’s like they begin to ignore me & won’t respond to my posts. I’m talking about people who experience the same stuff I do, or claim to anyway.

Have I become one of the untouchables that not even other Tis or folks in the so-called “truth movement” are willing to talk to? Am I like a leper?

Things Perpetraitors (Handlers) Say to Justify Torture

Things Perpetraitors Say to Justify Gang-Stalking, Street Theater, Directed Conversation, and Electronic Harassment:

(By the way, I misspell perpetrator as “perpetraitor” on purpose, because that is what they are: traitors who are perps)

If you remember a game show called “The 100,000 Dollar Pyramid”, the title of this document might give you a tiny laugh.

The target is sick. The target is a loser. The target is a bully (what a joke). The target was born out of wedlock, which makes them a bastard, and God doesn’t care about them anyway. The target is gay. The target is anti-gay. The target is a drug user. The target is a bum. The target is a racist. The target is a child-molester. The target is stupid. The target is a whore. The target is a slut. The target is ugly. The target is evil. The target is the devil, or a demon. The target is an MK Ultra victim, and they don’t want any witnesses. The target is “just a bitch”. The target is a pervert. The target is crazy. The target did bad things to people in the past. The target has a record. The target is a bad parent. The target eats cheesecake (that one’s just me trying to have a sense of humor about all of this). The target knows too much. The target is too old. The target is too young. The target is an embarrassment (to their cult, perhaps).

The accusations levied against the target may or may not be true. Many times, the target was born into this program, set up on purpose to make them look bad, after much trauma, sort of like torturing an animal and blaming the animal for reacting to being psychologically tortured and for fighting back. Often, the target is a victim of mind control, to a greater degree than the general population that is, and is being blamed for things they did as a result of a most wicked form of mind control, using trauma, among other things, and sometimes even implants.

WHY NONE OF THESE ARE GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSES FOR WHAT PERPETRAITORS ARE DOING TO TARGETED INDIVIDUALS:

The perpetraitors possibly do not know the whole truth about the individual they are destroying. They have probably been told half-truths and/or outright lies about the individual whom they are targeting. The target may have been handed off from one group of perps to the next, with each successive group being told only part of the story. Since, in many cases, the target has been a target since birth, through programs such as the Monarch Program or MK Ultra, they have been mind controlled throughout their lives, unbeknownst to them, and possibly unbeknownst to the perp as well.

If you are a nonconsensual human experimentee, like me, then you probably know what I am talking about. Many of you who have read my articles or watched my YouTube videos already know that I found implants in my ears in 2008. That means I have possibly been an experimentee since I was born and kept at a hospital, for the first 6 weeks of my life, in the custody of an adoption agency. This also means that anything I did while under the influence of these implants, which may indeed be cochlear implants, is directly attributable to those who are using these implants to influence my life, since I never consented to the procedure.

Mind Control does not equal consent.

However, according to these perpetraitors, I have already been judged.

Some of you who have been targeted are aware of something called the “Truman Show Effect”. We call it that because, as targets, we see bits and pieces of our life stories displayed in movies, music, and tell-a-vision. This leads me to the conclusion that we, the victims in this horrible and inhumane crime, are like slaves, whereby all of our intellectual property is stolen from us, and others get to profit from our suffering. It is the most disgusting crime that could ever be thought up, since the victim (so far) has no real proof, the perpetraitors have plausible deniability, and the nation denies that slavery even exists.

The scary part is that when I looked back over my life, I have noticed this effect going on to some degree throughout it. One example of this is the fact that when I was very young, maybe about 6 or 7, I had this thought: “What if the world around us, that we see, isn’t actually real? What if it is like some kind of movie, covering our field of vision?” I had no idea about virtual reality back then, and this was how I put the concept into words. Years later, I would see Disney come out with the 365 degree movies at Epcot. Eventually, I would see the concept in movies such as “The Matrix” and “Dark City”. It seems to me that someone or some group has VIP access to the collective consciousness and is able to steal from people who are held down for just such a purpose. Some of you may see how this is done on both physical and metaphysical levels.

Now, it seems, that is what I am seeing in this world. It is a world where we are made to believe that everyone has the same chance in life, but it is hardly the case. It has become a world where our  intellectual property is stolen, and then they sell it back to us in the form of music, movies, and tell-a-vision. What if there is a whole section of the population going through this on some level. One example would be how there are inventors who have become targeted individuals. Another would be how Renee Caisse, who invented ESSIAC Tea, had sold her idea to a pharmaceutical company that shelved it, after promising that they would research and develop her formula. Another would be how Ayn Rand died not too long after she, and the producer of the film “Atlas Shrugged”, had an argument about her wanting artistic rights to make a certain scene the way she wanted. During the argument, the producer said something like, “That’s all right, I’ll just wait until you die and make the movie how I want to”.

This happens all the time, although most people either don’t notice it or don’t want to admit to it. I bet that all these people writing in blogs are being stolen from, in some form or another. “We live in a wheel where everyone steals” is what I heard the band “Bush” say some time ago. I would hope that this form of slavery doesn’t last forever, because I fear it causes major problems in people’s lives, probably on a subliminal level, and they are possibly disturbed by the sense that they are being ripped off, but cannot put their finger on what is really going on. As a result of this subconscious feeling that you are being robbed, you may have emotional issues that end up affecting the way you interact with others. Eventually, this will get used against you, even though it cannot truly be blamed on you.

Would those who perpetrate this horrible crime on victims continue to do so if they were conscious of what we victims have been going through as a result of this legal type of slavery? Any negative karma generated by the slave happens as a direct result of living in reaction to an unknown cause of suffering, and that karma must be reaped by those who benefit from the slave’s misery of being a slave in a society that refuses to admit that slavery even exists. When someone who is not of a privileged class tries to do something that is not a typical vocation for a lower to middle class individual, they often end up becoming overtly targeted, whereas before that point, they probably didn’t notice the targeting was happening.

It seems to be a form of psychic vampirism, whereby the target is a victim, and the perpetraitors are the vampires. The victims are bled dry of their creative inspiration, their resources, and any of their forms of support. The targets are made to look crazy with the evil technologies being used against them, whether through the use of implants (mine are located in my ears), some form of heterodyning, occult magic, negative thought forms, directed energy weapons. I have researched enough to know they have a huge arsenal at their disposal.

I am led to wonder if all targets are set up since birth. Are we told a big lie about how this is the “land of the free and the home of the brave”, and how this country is about, “liberty and justice for all”, while everyone else knows the truth, but aren’t telling? Does everyone know that we are targets who were used since birth by the vampires around us? I have been told that I am a ritual sacrifice, which is why my life looks like someone upstairs was playing a big joke on me.

Numerology does seem to play some kind of a role in the lives of various targeted individuals I have met. Could that be how many of us are picked out at birth, possibly stolen through adoption and sold into these sick programs of covert slavery? I guarantee that if you are a REAL target, you have either the 12 or 11 in your numerology, if not both, and if not, then I bet you might have the letters AN in your name somewhere, especially if combined with a C or CH.

Here’s what they Ought to say, to be Closer to the Truth of the Situation:

We traumatize you from birth, and then we blame you for not being perfect. We make you nuts, and then blame you for being that way. We steal from you on so many levels, and then blame you for feeling the need to hold onto things (which we call selfishness). We torture your mind, and then blame you for reacting to it. We steal your intellectual property, and then blame you for feeling disturbed. We ruin your life, and then blame you for not being able to make your way in the world. We turn your whole life upside-down, and then blame you for being negative. We cause you physical and mental problems, but then deny you disability. We program you from birth, and then blame you for not being what you were supposed to be, had we not messed with your head in the first place. (And in my case) We make you spend half your childhood in a house of mirrors, and then blame you for being a narcissist. (Also in my case) We place every importance on your body as a woman, and then blame you for being too focused on your body.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the world of the double bind, designed to cause cognitive dissonance in those who are the designated sacrifices. Problem, Reaction Solution: They cause the problem in you, and then demonize you for your reaction, and the apparent solution is torturing you to death.

I even heard one of them tell me that we are just food to them. Let them reap that karma, all of it, including any karma caused as a result of what the target has most likely been put through since birth.

Video of my implants: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74Os-iN9J0Q

1/2/2013 Update: Proof of what the Catholic Church is involved in

“300,000 babies stolen from their parents – and sold for adoption: Haunting BBC documentary exposes 50-year scandal of baby trafficking by the Catholic church in Spain”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2049647/BBC-documentary-exposes-50-year-scandal-baby-trafficking-Catholic-church-Spain.html
It’s a sick thing going on in the catholic church. If they’ve been doing it over in Spain, is it any stretch to think they might have done it to me and sold me into a mind control program, putting implants in my head as a baby during the first 6 weeks of my life, when I was in the agency’s custody?

http://www.arcticbeacon.com/greg/headlines/us-catholic-charities-linked-to-child-experimentation/

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2004/apr/04/usa.highereducation

Thank you to MJ for the link!!!

Peace!

Don’t Want to be Framed for Speaking Truth!

I suppose the most revolutionary act one can engage in is … to tell the truth.

HOWARD ZINN, Marx in Soho

I am writing this to say that if, all of a sudden, I am no longer posting blogs, it is because I have become too vocal about what was done to me (RFID implants and an occult curse involving the tarot). The proof of what was done to me is visible and palpable, and is right on my head, in front of each ear. They are the exact size of RFID implants. Those who deny these are implants are either lying or in denial themselves. I have been a human guinea pig for far too long to deny that I am a victim of mind control and ritual abuse. Please see the following document for more info on the particulars of my case, and photo proof of my implants:

https://musicis2words.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/how-my-case-differs-from-wellknown-mind-control-cases/

I am concerned that I am might get framed for something I have not done. I say this because I am currently harassed and gang stalked and threatened that they are going to do this to me. I have heard them say they want no witnesses. I am one such witness. Over my lifetime, I have been mind controlled by some very nefarious forces that have been unseen by me. Using the implants that could’ve only been put there when I was an infant, in custody of the agency for the first 6 weeks of my life, my mind has been manipulated in ways to make me emotionally unwell, which as they knew, would wind up making me addicted to illegal drugs, which could then be used to discredit me. This has been done in addition to putting me in a family that was either paid to berate me verbally and leave me mostly alone, or they just did it naturally. I have notied in the document above that I spent half my childhood in a literal “house of mirrors”, which would have obvious effects on a young personality.

While I am proud to say I am no longer addicted to illegal drugs, I am sorry to say that I now have a past that haunts me. This was by design. This is a part of the whole “problem-reaction-solution” blueprint whereby they cause the problem, seeking a reaction, so they can offer a solution they already have in mind, which in my case is killing me. So they have used gang-stalking techniques to turn neighbor against neighbor by telling lies and half-truths. This is done on the small scale, but also on the larger scale, within the so-called “truth movement”, as I have sadly noticed over the past four years.

Those in power have been in power for a very long time. They have been in power since long before you or I were ever born, so it behooves me to state that all of history has been written, and is deposed to students by what I can only call “the system”. It is not in that system’s interest to allow those who really do espouse truth to exist, so they put out fake “truthers” online to disseminate disinfo and pit TIs against one another.

I say this because I have had my character assasinated, lost my job, and my whole life has been ruined because I began to discover the truth of what was done to me. I did not consent to be the subject of human experimentation when I was born and sold into slavery via my adoption through Catholic Charities (an agency that has been indicted on child-trafficking charges not too long ago). This is why I have become a victim of what is being called “soft-kill”, “slow-kill”, and “no-touch torture”. I am exhibiting all the symptoms of what is described here: http://targetedindividualscanada.wordpress.com/2011/03/30/direct-energy-weapons-2/

Sadly, I am reminded of a song by the band called “Muse”, called “MK Ultra”, during which the singer says, “All of history deleted with one stroke”. I have noticed how things are being changed online. Facts that used to state one thing are now being changed, or the online documents and websites no longer exist. I have noted in my online dodument called “The Case for the Left”, that studies in stroke victims show how one hemisphere of the brain controls the opposite side of the body. I have noticed how newer documents say this isn’t true, yet it cannot be denied that a stroke in the right hemisphere of the brain always affects something on the left side of the body. Does this fact not tell us that the original assumption is true, and that the right hemisphere generally does control the left side of the body? Yet I have been unable to find a psychologist who can agre with this idea.

One thing I want to note before I end this post is that not many TIs who accept the existence of electronic harassment and direct energy weapons is willing to notice that those in power are adepts in the occult. I say this because many people who can see that I am a target don’t want to see how an occult curse has affected my life. If they know about how Nazi scientists have been used in mind control, in America, then they only need to do a little research to se how the Nazis were involved in the occult. Considering how these Nazi scientists have been used for Monarch and MK Ultra, it is not such a leap to consider that those involved in mind control use witchcraft and satanism to further their goals. In fact, one look at Fritz Springmeier’s work will clarify this. For an interview with this man, see this link: http://targetedindividualscanada.wordpress.com/?s=fritz+springmeier

I am grateful to the “targeted individuals canada” wordpress site for all of their information. It lets me know that I am not crazy.

For more information on the occult and symbolic side of what’s going on, please see this link: https://musicis2words.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/symbolism-mind-control-and-metaphysical-sabotage-in-relation-to-archetypal-transference-and-the-second-commandment-of-the-decalogue

By the way, much of what is happening to targets all over the world, including mind control, is seen in movies, music, and television, but in music, especially. Some songs that relate to my case are:

Believe it or not, there is a rap artist called “TI”.

Kate Bush – Experiment IV (she sings, “they told us what they wanted was a sound that could kill someone from a distance”)

Depeche Mode – Wrong (especially the video-relates to the effects of the tarot curse), Precious

Muse – MK Ultra, Stockholm Syndrome, Unnatural Selection

Thank you for reading.

How My Case Differs From Wellknown Mind Control Cases

How My Case Differs from Typical Mind Control and Ritual Abuse:

My mind control case is not as sensational as those of Cathy OBrien or Brice Taylor, because my situation is much more covert, is is therefore more sinister, since I cannot point to the actual perpetrators of the crime against me, that started when I was born.

Much of my mind control programming has been done via implants at each ear, the size of RFIDs, Which are suspiciously located exactly where the external part of a cochlear implant would be (although mine go through the cartilage and are under the skin), possibly linking directly into my brain, which allows the perpetraitors (misspelled on purpose to denote that these people are indeed traitors to their own country because they are violating innocent human beings from birth and well into adulthood, possibly for one’s entire life), to do their evil, unseen by me, so I cannot point to specific persons to accuse.

 

I cannot blame the adoption agency, Catholic Charities, directly, because I can no longer find the article where I saw that they were indicted for child trafficking, although I did see it in a news story on television. Since I cannot back up the claim with any proof, I cannot make the claim.

I recently received a link from a kind reader, showing me how the Catholic church in Spain was involved in trafficking over 300,000 babies, telling their mothers their babies had died at birth:

“300,000 babies stolen from their parents – and sold for adoption: Haunting BBC documentary exposes 50-year scandal of baby trafficking by the Catholic church in Spain”

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2049647/BBC-documentary-exposes-50-year-scandal-baby-trafficking-Catholic-church-Spain.html

It’s a sick thing going on in the catholic church. If they’ve been doing it over in Spain, is it any stretch to think they might have done it to me and sold me into a mind control program, putting implants in my head as a baby during the first 6 weeks of my life, when I was in the agency’s custody?

That being said, most people who have done any research on children who are used in experiments are frequently from orphanages. It also must be noted that many targeted individuals that I know are adopted or were in foster homes.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_international_adoption_scandals

In case you doubt the possibility of me being implanted, please see this: http://www.skewsme.com/implants.html

Satanic Ritual Abuse is a well-known phenomenon, yet most people I speak to about it won’t recognize that it might have happened to me, in combination with mind control.

I am constantly being threatened by these voices to be thrown in jail, framed for something I haven’t done. My answer to those who are using these implants not only for telemetry, but also for broadcasting, is that if I ever end up in front of detectives or a judge, I will tell these people that I have these implants, and that those who did it, or those who are subordinates of those who did it, are interested in me being put away so I cannot talk about what has been done to me during my lifetime. Mind Control, Satanic Ritual Abuse, and the Occult go hand in hand. Knowing that the Constitution seems to no longer safeguard the public from these situations, I urge the reader to examine the following in relation to my implants (given that when they were implanted, in my infancy or early childhood, the Constitution was supposed to have protected me from such a violation):

https://sites.google.com/site/mcrais/stealers

One way in which my mind control programming differs from the type discussed in the Springmeier/Wheeler book called, “The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Controlled Slave”, which can be found online, is that my programming was done by my own adoptive parents, so that it just looks like bad parenting by a narcissist mother. The implants make it more insidious because I cannot point directly to some evil mind like Dr. Cameron or Dr. Mengele and sue them, since they were probably implanted in my head when I was a baby, so I would not retain a memory of the procedure, nor remember the pain from it. Since I was in the agency’s custody for the first six weeks of my life, this seems to be the most likely time when it would’ve happened. My programming was more subtle, and less proveable than mind control victims like Cathy O’Brien or Brice Taylor, except for the implants, which I have so far been unable to get looked at by a professional.

The fact that I was denied disability, despite the fact that I have a history of mental issues, such as a suicide attempt at 17y/o, a record of drug abuse (which is common for people suffering from mental issues related to mind control, ritual abuse and/or neglect), records of visits to various psychiatrists and psychologists throughout my lifetime, including three baker acts, tells me that the judge who did my hearing is indeed crooked, or at least terribly misinformed. I have been made disabled on purpose, with neglect, mental abuse, mind control, and satanic ritual abuse. Now I am targeted as if I am being punished for the way I have been set up in the first place.

Despite my emotional problems related to abuse, up until 4 years ago, I always worked my butt off for every dime I ever earned.  That all changed when I began to remember some of the things that happened to me. I became the target for what is now being called “no-touch torture” or electronic harassment. It is well-known in psychological studies that traumatic memories of ritual abuse and mind control often come out in one’s forties. I began to hear voices in my forties, accompanied by memories of abuse, and that is when my life fell apart. Whether diagnosed for PTSD, or for schizophrenia (which seems to be one of the aims of mind control practices- to discredit the victim), either way, they are diagnoses worthy of disability, to say the least, and possibly a criminal investigation to exactly what happened to me. This last note is with the idea in mind that I have implants for crying out loud! Of course, I was denied disability by a judge, who ought to lose her job.

Unfortunately, when I research mind control and ritual abuse, I find that most doctors and law enforcement are a part of this network of destroying lives.

When I began to have memories of certain incidents come back to me, such as an instance of my mother leaving me alone crying in the crib for hours, telling me to “eat shit and die”, or her blowing cigarette smoke in my face (she smoked 3 packs a day), or my uncle blaming me for my Aunt’s heart attack, or being wrapped in a blanket and tossed down the stairs by my brother, to come out of the blanket and find both my parents laughing and pointing their fingers at me, that is when my character was assassinated, I lost my job writing articles, and my whole life commenced falling apart. It seems like I was intentionally discredited, so that I would not be able to get any real help for my situation.

Among people I have spoken with regarding the implants, there seems to be some disagreements as to what these things in my head (through which I hear voices and feel buzzing sensations) are. I have had one person say they are “cutaneous horns”, which I have looked up, and what I have are subcutaneous, so that couldn’t be it. When I did a search for “subcutaneous horns”, I found only photos of “cutaneous horns”. I had a psychologist try to tell me they are keloids, which they obviously are not, since keloids are on the skin, not under it, and since what I have looks nothing like keloids. By the way, from what I understand, people with keloids do not hear things through them, nor do they feel vibrations through them, and people with cutaneous horns have not mentioned that they hear or feel anything through them either. One other thing of note, regarding my implants, is the fact that if I put my finger in the top part of my ear, on the other side of where the implant is, I can feel a nub there. So the things in my ears are oval shaped, and both ends of them can be felt. This means they go through the cartilage of my ears.

To these people who do not believe me, why doesn’t one of them, or all of them combined, help me get one of these implants taken out of my head, to determine what they really are? Then we could see the truth of the matter. I mean, they ARE the size of RFID tags. Perhaps I haven’t been able to get any help because they do not want the truth to get out. I am forced to assume this, given the circumstances of my character assassination, the loss of my job, the fact that all of my friends and neighbors have been convinced to ignore me.

One example of how my situation clearly looks like a mind control case is that the mirrors used in my programming were everywhere within the home I lived in for the 2^nd half of my childhood. There was a mirrored coffee table, mirrored wallpaper, a mirrored pedestal for chrome art, mirrored dressers, mirrored closet doors, mirrored end tables, mirrored switch plates, mirrored cotton ball dispensers, and mirrored art on the walls. Using mirrors is a well-known method of mind control cited in the Springmeier/Wheeler book. Another example is that I had the classic near-drowning at the age of 3, which is common to ritual abuse survivors.

The RFID tags would have been enough, and they have probably been using them my whole life to mess with my head, possibly while I slept. Yet, no one wants to believe it’s possible that this could be happening to me, even though when I was born, in the late 60s, programs of mind control were more than established. Dr. Jose Delgado was able to stop an implanted, charging bull with a remote control in 1963. http://www.wireheading.com/delgado/brainchips.pdf

I had a surgery for cervical dysplasia in 2004, under a general anesthetic. I have had a flashback of something horrible and unthinkable that happened to me during that procedure. It is a flashback because I can see the masked doctor and my mother, I can hear the whirring instrument, I can hear my mother’s voice, and I can hear my own screams while I am being mutilated. I have had a psychologist say to me, “I know you like to tell stories”. To her, I can only hope that one day, she goes through something like this and no one believes her. As a result of this procedure, I now have a condition called vulvodynia, which usually results from trauma to the area. Of course, I have been so far, unable to get it treated. This procedure is most likely why I became afraid of lawn mowers in 2008.

It is my sincere hope that I will be able to find an honorable doctor and/or attorney to help me with my situation. I may not be able to point the finger at any one person and sue them (unles it is the adoption agency that sold me into this horrible experiment), but perhaps I could at least get some decent treatment for my issues, so I can go back to work and lead a normal life.

Some people who read this may assume that I am just trying to get attention. This is false. I am trying to raise a kid while these implants are delivering very malicious messages into my mind. It is a very difficult situation I find myself in. I never dreamed that I was a mind control victim, and I certainly do not wish to be. The only attention I am trying to get is that of an honrable doctor or attorney to help me get one removed so I can get a serial number from it and track down the manufacturer.

It is my fear that I was sold into slavery via this Catholic adoption, just to be implanted at birth, so I could be the subject of this horrible, evil mind control, via these implants, so that I could be made a ritual sacrifice for these evil creatures that should get eaten by their own kind for what they’ve done.

For background info, please see “Here We Are in 2012, and I’m Still Alive” at the following link:

https://musicis2words.wordpress.com/2012/09/27/here-we-are-in-2012

“I suppose the most revolutionary act one can engage in is … to tell the truth.”

                                                                                                    -Howard Zinn (Marx in Soho)

Here we are in 2012, & I Am Still Alive

Here We are, in 2012, & I Am Still Alive:

It is my fear that I was sold into slavery via my adoption (through Catholic Charities), just to be implanted at birth, so I could be the subject of a most insidious form of mind control, via post hypnotic suggestion from these implants, so that I could be made to sign a contract, against my will, in order to be a ritual sacrifice for these evil creatures that should get eaten by their own kind for what they’ve done. Knowing that I would be searching for God, and that I was disheartened by actions of the various religions of the world, this would be easy for them to do.

I cannot blame Catholic Charities directly, because I can no longer find the article where I saw that they were indicted for child trafficking, although I did see it in a news story on television. Since I cannot back up the claim with any proof, I cannot make the claim.

That being said, most people who have done any research on children who are used in experiments are frequently from orphanages. Also, there are many speakers on the subject of mind control who I have heard mention that people sell their own children into experimentation programs. It also must be noted that many targeted individuals that I know are adopted or were in foster homes.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_international_adoption_scandals

I guess I’m lucky to be alive right now, considering what I’ve been up against. I have implants in my head (photos below), at each ear, that deliver voices, pain, and strange humming vibrations into my brain, and I don’t know how long it has been going on. They only became consciously audible in 2008, but they might’ve been subliminally influencing me since they were put in. It seems like everyone around me is either in denial, or they know what’s been happening to me and they just don’t want to face the truth. In case you doubt the possibility of me being implanted, please see this: http://www.mindcontrolforums.com/v/robert-naeslund.htm

I am writing this in an effort of self-defense, because I am constantly hearing voices that seem to be judging me in absentia. Who they are, I do not know. I wish they would talk to me to my face though. Without knowing what my life has been like, how can anyone judge me? I am not currently breaking any laws, even though I am in horrible, constant pain and cannot seem to get any real treatment for it because I have no insurance.
I ask the reader to learn a little about secret societies and occult practices before they judge me to be insane. Adepts in the occult are able to manipulate the mundane using metaphysical practices, whether the victim believes in them or even knows about them. Most people will agree that people usually display the traits of their astrological signs. It is my contention that the archetypes of both the zodiac and the tarot are injected in to the collective consciousness, on purpose, to manipulate human behavior on a metaphysical level, which takes away freewill. In my opinion, it is the precise reason why the 2nd commandment of the Decalogue states “no graven images”: because these images are not only “fraught with danger or harm”, but they have also become “engraven” into the hive mind. Look up the word “graven” as a past participle of the word “grave”, to further understand this point.

Is it any wonder that newer versions of the bible leave that exact phrase out?
It is easy to mind control a female child who is missing both a daddy and a mommy in her life, who was engineered to be born on a specific birthdate to tie her to an upside-down archetype.

The image to the right, while not from a deck, is a painting done by Ludovica Wing Shuen Price, and is most likely inspired by the Thoth deck, and to a lesser extent, the Hermetic Tarot. It seems to illustrate what I have been going through. This painting can be found here: http://www.elfwood.com/art/l/u/ludovica/the_hanged_man.jpg.html
There are at least 2 decks (that have been gaining in popularity over the past few years), that show a serpent at the head of the victim, and an upside-down Ankh (which is the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility). Most people know that the word “live” spelled backwards is “evil”. Could this be applicable in the case of those with the #12 in their numerology? Was this done because someone didn’t like the way the bible featured that number so much? You know: Jesus had 12 apostles; there were the 12 tribes of Israel; the showbread consisted of 12 loaves; during the period of the judges, 12 judges judged Israel; Solomon appointed 12 officers over Israel; etc. I mean, it does seem like someone had a negative intent behind making the 12th trump of the tarot like this. At least, it would seem that way to someone whose life has manifested in the way illustrated on that card.
With so many printings of over 1000 tarot decks on the market today, with the 12th trump an upside-down or otherwise crucified figure, is it any wonder 2012 has society in such a mess today? These archetypes have becomes memes that have infected the collective consciousness, causing people to believe and behave in ways consistent with their archetype. I beg that people just become aware of what might happen to a person born on 12/12, given the associated tarot archetype, and the statement at the top of this paragraph. Is it because of my archetype that I was forced to be right-handed, against my natural, God-given left-handed nature? Symbolically, doing this would take someone out of their proverbial “right mind”. By making my life upside-down and backwards, did an archetype, created by human beings, virtually remove my freewill, simply because of my birthdate?
Most of accepted experts of the occult and secret societies know about the kind of stuff I am writing about in this and other documents. It is my understanding that ritual sacrifices are done in order to promote someone to a higher place, monetarily and possibly spiritually, by using the occult tool known as the tarot, to hold another person down.
After everything I have been through in my life, I now have no doubt that I was mind-controlled into signing a contract with an entity I thought was God. There were people and websites talking about a Sumerian God named Enki, who loved humans and wanted to help us. I was at the mercy of subliminal messages coming through headphones I used to wear while sleeping. I am now living in fear every day that I am going to hell, and here’s why I think I have been damned:
Given the “engineered” nature of my life, it seems that I was born to be a ritual sacrifice to someone’s very cruel god. I just don’t wanna be. My hope is that the True and Just God of the Universe reads this somehow and saves my soul. Considering what I have been up against my entire life, I know in my heart that I do not deserve to be damned or condemned.
I was mind controlled and tortured, and then forced to endure the process finding out just how this has been done to me.
Considering the fact that the Vatican has Egyptian obelisks at Vatican Square, it has occurred to me that the Catholics are a pagan organization, and they are involved in the occult. A quick glance of Catholic rituals show this to be true. I was adopted through a Catholic organization. I was also held in their custody for the first 6 weeks of my life.
http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/studies/HarlowMLE.htm

On the surface, my life doesn’t seem that steeped in occult, but my birthdate is 12/12 which ties me to a tarot archetype known as the Hanged Man. The occult societies are known for their practice of inducing labor for a child to be born on a specific date. Now I know why. Engineering someone’s birthdate ties the child to specific archetypes of the tarot, based on their numerology. I know this because it happened to me before I ever looked at the first tarot deck. My whole life was affected by the 12th trump of the tarot, and I never knew about it until 2008/9.
My life story doesn’t seem that strange at face value, however, when all the facts of my life are taken in combination with a knowledge of archetypes and what happened to me beginning in 2008, it is undeniable that I have been the victim of a horrible plot to destroy my life before I ever had a chance, designed to make me angry at God and to make God angry at me.

The Hermetic tarot, by Godfrey Dowson is another deck that shows an upside-down ankh and a serpent at the victim’s head, in the 12^th trump card. It is based upon the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and was copyrighted in 1979, first printed in 1980, according to numerous sources, two of which can be found here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/97228964/Adam-McLean-s-Study-Course-on-the-artwork-and-symbolism-of-modern-tarot-Lesson-13-Magical-tarots

And here: http://www.villarevak.org/ma/c3.html

The card is also called “The Spirit of the Mighty Waters”. The serpent in this deck is much smaller than in the Ludovica painting, yet it is still in close range of the victim’s head. Notice there is a Rosy Cross as well as the symbol for Neptune, a god who is often associated with the devil.

The other deck, that has the serpent at the head of the figure, and the one I seem to have been the most associated with, is the Harris-Crowley, Thoth deck, especially since my adoptive mother’s life is symbolically represented in that deck’s 4^th trump. The 12^th trump of this deck (image below) also shows the upside-down Ankh. It was first published in 1944.

The First Syllable in the Word, “MUSIC”, 12th Letter of the Greek Alphabet

As I have mentioned in my other writings, like, “Symbolism, Mind Control, and Metaphysical Sabotage in Relation to Archetypal Transference and the Second Commandment of the Decalogue“, the word, “MUSIC” is made up of two words, mu and sic. Mu is the 12th letter of the Greek alphabet, while sic means “intentionally so written”. Given the nature of the 12th trump of the tarot, I have to consider if this is how a muse is made. I know that some may think this is crazy, but when I consider how certain bands and musicians seem to tell stories directly related to my situation, like Depeche Mode’s “Wrong”, or Kate Bush’s “Experiment IV”, or Chevelle’s “Shameful Metaphors”, I have to consider that the serpent at the head of the figure of the 12th trump of the tarot may represent the serpent class, gleaning creative inspiration from other people’s suffering.
What follows is what I HAVE MEMORY OF, or what has been told to me by my adoptive family.
12/12/Late 1960s:
I am born, and placed for adoption (sold into slavery), through a Catholic agency. I was held in the custody of the agency for the first 6 weeks of my life. http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/studies/HarlowMLE.htm

I am adopted into a family that already had a ten year old son, who was often shipped off to private school. By being born on 12/12, I carry the archetype of the Hanged Man, which is usually an upside-down person. Despite, my not being aware of the tarot or this card in relation to my birthdate, it has effects on my entire life. I will only become aware of this “tarot curse”, after I am abandoned in a house with no power or water for 2.5 years.
My father tells me that my parents picked me out of a large group of babies, and that I was picked out special. My mother tells me that she wanted a child (after having my brother), so they matched her up with a pregnant woman who wanted to place her child up for adoption. My adoptive mother was born on 4/4, which ties her to the Emperor archetype. This gives her power, whereas my archetype has me powerless. The same thing that cursed me seems to have blessed her. Her life is bizarrely displayed in the Emperor card of the Crowley-Harris, Thoth deck, which is the deck that seems to show my life in it the most, in all of the cards, but most notably in the 12th trump, the Hanged Man, which in the Thoth deck, is called the “Dying God”. Is it ironic to anyone that, in 2012, it seems like we are living in a Godless world, in which certain people don’t even think twice before torturing, murdering, mind-controlling, and causing all sorts of untold misery to innocent victims, even at birth?
My mother names me with initials that spell the name of an animal, which serves to dehumanize a person on a subliminal level. I am baptized Catholic. We go to church every Sunday until my parents get divorced.
1970:
At 3y/o, I am found, face-down in the pool, by my mother, and my brother has to shove her out of the way to save my life (as told by my brother). In ritual abuse, the ritual drowning always occurs at 3y/o, and from what I understand, it is to expose the child to demonic influence. I am scared to death of going to a kindergarten, but don’t know why. Parent’s make me go anyway. Sometimes, I hide to avoid going.
1970s:
My father, a navy man, whom I love with all of my heart, is often away on business trips, and my mother is away for reasons unknown. I am told by my brother that both of them used to pay him to keep their affairs secret from one another.
I am a chunky kid, and my father takes to singing songs about it to me. “Fat, fat, the water rat, 50 bullets in his hat”, and “fatty, fatty, 2 by 4, can’t get through the bathroom door”. When I react with tears, my parents say that I am “too sensitive”. Well, what did they expect, when they named me with initials spelling the name of an animal?
We have these neighbors, the Albirdy’s, who live two doors down from us. Their daughter teaches me how to write. She gets me to go against my natural left-handed inclination by telling me it is evil to be left-handed. Not wanting to be evil, I became right-handed. After seeing studies, and knowing stroke victims, I can see how one hemisphere of the brain generally is responsible for things on the opposite side of the body. Because of this, I think that forcing a lefty to be right-handed in some ways can take someone out of their “right mind”, so to speak, figuratively, and possibly literally.
My parents are rarely around. I take to lying about injuries to get attention from them, and even sometimes trying to injure myself on purpose. This is highly ironic, since now; no one believes that I am truly in pain, even though I am. Once I get into adulthood, I stop lying to get attention from boyfriends (father figures), because I realize it is the wrong way to get attention.
I am exposed to theatre before I reach 9 years old, such as Jesus Christ Superstar and Hair. I am also exposed to movies, such as The Exorcist, The Omen, and Rosemary’s Baby. I have a neighbor who, at 10y/o (while I am 6 or 7 at most), is exposing me to her fetish about pregnancy. TV is my main babysitter, and I am allowed to play in the woods alone, which I often do, although I am missing memories of that time.
We go to church every Sunday, and I go to Sunday school. I get as far as my first communion. All the other girls at the First Communion ceremony wear white, while I am made to wear pink (or rose), with some fake roses in my hair. Am I Rosemary? Shortly afterwards, my parents get divorced and my mother doesn’t take me to church anymore.
My brother keeps snakes as pets, and even brings me over to a neighbor’s house (the Albirdys), who have the largest boa constrictor, to send me home to scare my mother with it wrapped around my neck. My brother goes to Jesuit High school. I look up to and love him dearly.
I play Mary in a school Christmas pageant. My dad makes the costume for me.
My mother constantly compares me with other children and cousins, letting me know that I am not good enough for her.
I see my 5’7” mother beat my 6’ tall brother, who is about 16 or 17 years old at the time. This is the beginning of my mistrust for my mother.
My brother exposes his penis to me in the bathroom, but I don’t remember what happened after that. The memory might have been repressed.
My brother wraps me up in a blanket and tosses me down the stairs. When I get to the bottom, I push the blanket off of me to find my parents, standing there and laughing at me.
My cousin has a memory of my brother chasing us around the house with a butcher knife, but if it happened, then I must’ve repressed that memory, which happens with traumatic memories, as any psychologist worth his salt will tell you.
I have some missing time in my childhood, for example, I remember going to the woods by myself, playing in the woods by myself, but I do not remember coming home.
A cousin on my father’s side of the family moves in with us temporarily. She seems to pay more attention to the cousin than to me.
My mom takes to comparing me to my friends and cousins. She often goes away, leaving me with a nanny. Since she carries the Emperor archetype, I cannot help but feel that she has been programmed this way; to be cruel.
1976 or 77:
My parents get divorced. Upon hearing the news, I begin to cry. My mother says to me, “I don’t know why you’re crying, he was never around anyway”. She just doesn’t understand how much I love him, in part possibly because of the way her own father treated her. My father moves out of state, so now I only get to see him once or twice a year, as opposed to maybe once every couple of months. At this point, I begin to turn negative. Is it because my polarity was switched by forcing me to be right-handed against my natural inclination, or is it because my parents got divorced? Could it be because my mother is fond of telling me that she wishes I was more like my friends and cousins? Is it because I am not given any real foundation to go on? Is it because I was left alone most of my childhood? I cannot doubt that it is a combination of those things, but what is to come causes this negativity to get much worse.
We move into a new place, which my mother decorates in mirrors. Everything is mirrored, mirrors on the walls, the coffee table, the dressers, the end tables, headboards, a pedestal for a piece of steel art, tissue holders, cotton ball dispensers, switch plates and wall sockets, sliding closet doors, shower stall doors, etc. Even the wallpaper was mirrored. No room was missing a mirror. Was my mom a narcissist? What kind of effect would living in a veritable “house of mirrors” have on a child? How can anyone blame that child for how they end up in life?
1980:
I am a latchkey kid, although my mother doesn’t have to work, being fully supported by my dad. I make myself french-fries in the frydaddy and eggrolls in the microwave (my usual fare, unless I lucked out and got fast food).
I develop a strange habit of chewing the skin around my fingernails, along with a habit of twisting my hair into little knots and then ripping them off. Why would a kid develop habits like this. Did something traumatic happen in her life??? Hmmm….
My mother takes to calling me stupid, often. Any time I do something wrong in her eyes, I am “stupid, stupid, stupid!” She also likes to tell me that I am never going to amount to anything. Cruelty from the only caregiver I have. I know that on some level my mother loves me; I just don’t think she was equipped to express that love. She just doesn’t know what that did to me. It was as if she was cursing me. Perhaps, my initials spelling “cat”, really did make me “too sensitive”.
1981:
My mother tries to come up with ways to make money beyond what my father pays her in alimony and child-support. At one point, she tries to grow worms in our garage. Another time, she tries selling road signs. One of her money-making attempts is to sell hot dogs at construction sites with me wearing a bikini to try to attract customers. I was 14 years old.
1983:
I am told by a high school math teacher that I am just a drug addict, even though I had yet to try the first drug, or even cigarettes. Is this some sort of curse? Sadly, when I was in grade school, I was in the top 2% of my class in IQ, but by high school, I end up lucky to get Cs.
I begin to get involved in the “punk scene”. With other members of this “scene”, we do some pretty nasty stuff. For example, we would go to graveyards and take statuettes which I now feel awful for. I have to imagine what the families felt upon seeing the statues missing. I wasn’t the only one who did it though. We would also go driving through neighborhoods and hit mailboxes with baseball bats. This behavior didn’t last long for me though. I now feel horrible about it.
1984:
At 16y/o, I am date raped by a 21y/o man. Why I was even allowed to go to his house, I will never know. I mean, I was only 16. I met him at a restaurant my mother used to frequent. It had a bar and a DJ booth. The 21y/o molested me in that DJ booth.
Influenced by the boys around me, and in a world of self-hatred, I end up cutting myself. I try to hide it from my mother, by hiding my bloody shirts in my closet. My mother finds one of them and gets angry because I ruined a shirt.
I begin smoking my mother’s cigarettes, which she kept in the freezer for freshness. I also begin to take unknown pills from her prescription bottle, and trade them with some of my friends. We are punks, so we think it’s “cool” to do this and other weird stuff. I smoke pot for the first time with a friend of mine.
06/1985:
I graduate high school, lucky to make it with a C average, considering the emotional and psychological damage done on me. I brag about how I made it even though I was somehow able to skip at least some portion of every day.
10/1985:
I attempt suicide, during a party, on the bathroom floor of my boyfriend’s house, because he dumped me. I guess that was a father figure. Somehow, I thought he could help me. My problems are so deep seated, that I would need a hypnotherapist to really help me. I end up at a county-run crisis center, where, at 17, I am put into the adult ward. Looking across the unit, I see little children, ages 4, 5, & 6, approximately, in cages, stacked on top of one another, being wheeled down the hall.
1986:
My mother, who is a gambler, accuses me of stealing her wallet and calls the cops. Since I was passed out on the phone all night with my boyfriend, waking up with the phone pressed between my head and the pillow, I know there is no way I could’ve done it. Still, I am brought down to the cop station. Because I am frightened, I of course am unable to pass a lie detector (which is why they are not admitted as evidence), but the cops make me give a fake confession to be allowed to leave. I give the fake confession, but I am a smart ass about it.
1987:
What is the very worst thing I have ever done in my life? Have 2 abortions, which were legal, and in fact, touted as downright moral by those I was spending time with during those days in the late 80s & early 90s. That being said, I deeply regret ever having them. Again, it is easy to influence a female who was lacking a father figure in her life. I was influenced by the first male to ever graduate in the state of FL with a degree in Women’s Studies, and I was still a teenager for the first one.
1988:
I enroll at a community college, to become an artist. I receive a scholarship for my art classes, and win an award in the Student Juried Art Exhibit. I learn how to weld and do an almost 11 foot tall steel sculpture, called, “Person”, yet everyone calls it “a man”. I have talent and skills, and a future. I meet a woman named Mary Jane Skinner, who strangely enough, looks just like the Magi on one of the Magi cards in the Thoth deck. She is somehow able to steal my ideas. She introduces me to Jerome, which ends up distracting me from my career. I have been programmed, like so many other Monarch victims, as some sort of breeder, so that drive kicks in, making me become too sexually driven. It cannot be a coincidence that this woman effectively ruins my career and her name is Skinner, and my initials spell “cat” – “skin the cat”.
Early 1992:
I discover that I am pregnant at the same time that I contract herpes. Jerome and I had some relations with another couple, and I assumed that it was the man, but later Jerome will tell me that he could’ve contracted it before he met me. I end up with a horrible rash all over my body and feel like I am dying.
Jerome and I have a son and place him for adoption. Could this be a sort of repetition of the pattern put in place when I was placed for adoption? She introduces me to heroin after I have placed a son up for adoption. It is the only thing that relieves my intense sadness, but it eventually ruins my life.
What is the very worst illegal thing I ever did? I did illegal drugs: various kinds, at various intervals. Oh no, I didn’t rape anyone, I didn’t violate anyone physically (although I was raped when I was 16y/o by a 21y/o). I didn’t force my child to wear a bikini and sell my hotdogs at construction sites (which my mother did to me when I was 14y/o), I never stabbed or murdered anyone. I never attacked anyone. I never mind-controlled anyone, although I am unsure as to whether there are laws regarding that subject, AT ALL.
I end up going to work for a printing company that my cousin works for, until it closes a few months later. I am in deep depression that I cannot seem to climb out of. I miss my son, and wish I never placed him for adoption. I know that because of my programming, and because I was not allowed to be left-handed, that I am unable to persevere in the career of my choice, however, it also seems like my entire life has been orchestrated in this manner. It’s as if God himself didn’t want me to be happy. This feeling that I cannot explain becomes my sublimated anger.
Jerome and I end up living in the garage beneath an apartment where his friends live. Living in a garage adds to my depression, and my behavior reflects this. We party with his friends upstairs with LSD and alcohol.
Early 1993:
Jerome and I move into an apartment that my real estate broker Aunt has gotten us into. Eventually, her daughter and her boyfriend move in next door. We end up hearing gunshots almost every night.
Late 1993:
I am still very sad about placing my son for adoption.
After the printing company I worked for goes under, I find a job at another printing company. Jerome and I end up breaking up before long. I meet a man at this company who is about 8 years older than me, and has 3 children: 2 teens who live with him, and one grade school aged daughter who lives with her mother. He says he is attracted to me because I use heroin. I know now that, subconsciously, I saw him as the father figure I needed in my life.
In the company I work for, I have this boss who like to molest me from time to time. I do it, because I need the job. My addiction gets worse.
Early 1994:
We end up moving in together. I have a cat that I had since he was born. While living with this man, my cat is let out of the house and is killed by a car. Then we end up going to a pet store, where there is a cat that looks like the one that was killed. He asks me if I want that cat. The cat has an implant. I don’t think anything of it at that time, but I do now. I now have to wonder if they killed my cat on purpose, so they could make me have a cat with an implant.

Early 1995:
At one point, this man makes me have sex with another couple. I don’t want to do this, but he makes me. Eventually, this becomes a big problem between us. I end up further in my addiction problem, and we end up breaking up. He blames me. I thought he was the love of my life.
At one point, he makes me have sex with another couple. I don’t want to do this, but he makes me.

Mid 1995:

I get busted for possession of heroin, when me and an ex-boyfriend from high-school, go to a house that is being watched. I am told that by the attorney who represents me.

Dean, who was my first love, gets off free of having to do any time.

Late 1997:

As I end up further in my addiction, and we end up breaking up. He blames me and kicks me out. Since I have no place to go, I end up living in the warehouse at my old job, without the boss knowing about it. I thought he was the love of my life. My depression gets much worse, and so does my addiction, not coincidentally.
Early 1998:
Eventually, my boss finds out that I am living in the warehouse, fires me, and kicks me out. I move into a hotel room for a while, until I find a job at a medical billing company, at which point, I move into an apartment for about 3 months. The landlord screws me out of $400.00, and then kicks me out. At this point, I am in treatment for my heroin addiction. I am on the methadone program. It seems to stabilize me somewhat.
Mid 1998:
A woman I work with offers to let me move in with her and her boyfriend, Lisa and Elliot. My depression is so bad; I can’t stop crying, even at work. My new roommate is Lisa becomes my best friend. Her birthdate is 6/6. I become friends with a few of her friends. I finally start to have some good times with these people.
Lisa and Elliot introduce me to using extacy. Her boyfriend likes to do crack, and gets her to do it by telling her it is cocaine. We end up having x parties at least 4 or 5 times a year.
Early 1999:

I quit the job with my friend, and get another medical billing job at a different company. Still very sad, but I like the job, and perform well at it. My boss likes me.
Mid 1999:
My roommates and I end up arguing allot because they are racking up the bill on my cell phone, and I ask them to contribute. The boyfriend tells his girlfriend to beat me up, and I don’t fight back. Later she would tell me that I taught her something about peace and friendship. Due to the arguments over the phone bill, I eventually move out.
Late 1999:
I move into a hotel with my cat, who has been implanted. It has one bedroom, a closet, and a bathroom. I am working for a medical billing company. I am suffering an intense depression. I miss my old roommate, Lisa. We keep in touch and still spend time together. She breaks up with her boyfriend.
09/11/2001:

When I think about what happened on 9/11/2001, and the fact that I was well into a deep drug induced hypno-sleep when it happened, in a hotel room with only a bathroom & a closet, and a cat, I know I was messed up. But that was done long before I ever was even born, via a curse that was put on me, by making be born on that 12/12 date, and relating me to the tarot. I was so busy being sad, that I couldn’t take what was happening in the world. Considering how sensitive I was/am, it’s no wonder I felt the need to do drugs, and to sleep through what was going on in the world. While I wish I could do some drugs now, I am not, because I am simply afraid to break any laws.
March 2004:
I find out that I’m pregnant. I quit using opiates. I stay off drugs, but am only able to get down to 10 cigs a day (after smoking about a pack and a half), and one cup of coffee a day (I used to drink about two pots/day at work to keep up with a heavy workload).
Fall 2004:
My daughter is born, and the very next month, I have surgery for cervical dysplasia, while my daughter has to have surgery on her stomach (projectile vomiting). Something terrible happens to me during my surgery, but the memory is repressed at that time, because I was under a general anesthetic, and because my mind is unable to process it. This is a well-known psychological concept, yet the psychiatrist and psychologist I will start to see in 2012 will tell me it isn’t real. The memory of the horrible thing that was done to me will come out in 2011 as a flashback. There is a reason why this was done to me. It effectively destroyed my root chakra. If you know anything about chakra system, then you know what kind of psycho-spiritual damage can be caused by trauma to the root chakra. I now wonder if this is why circumcision is routinely performed on boys.
By making people very insecure, they are made to become bigger consumers. They find comfort in spending money, shopping, gambling, drinking, or using drugs. They find comfort in food, in cigarettes, in watching movies, listening to music, or basically taking things in as opposed to giving things out or producing things.
Jan 2005:
My maternity leave is over and I go back to work, but have a really hard time being away from my daughter.
March 2005:
The medical billing company I work for allows me to begin working at home.
Fall 2005:
Jerome talks me into moving into a home we CANNOT afford, costing us $1200.00/mo, while we were coming from an apartment that we paid $465.00/mo for. Despite my begging, and warning him about the housing market which is about to crash, he forces the issue… I have no choice. His father quickly begins work on the house, adding a garage in which no car can park, and ripping up the kitchen and bathroom floors, revealing asbestos tiling. Yay. They spend at least a year and a half working on this house we cannot afford, pouring money into a money pit, at the worst time possible.
At this time, I am still working, at home, for the medical billing company.
2006:

I take up an interest in crystals and tarot, not even considering that they are of the occult. I also begin to learn about reiki, which is a modality of energy healing, supposedly discovered by Japanese Buddhist Mikao Usui, in 1922, when he went searching for the energy healing modality that was believed to have been practiced by Jesus. I begin to buy books on reiki, crystals, and tarot. I even began to learn a bit about organic home remedies.
Something strange was happening to me during this time, pushing me to want to delve into all these subjects at once. In looking back, I realize it was way too much for me to be getting into at that time.
2007:

Lots of pressure, trying to work and care for our daughter. Feels like I am running around in circles. House is a disaster, while these Jerome & his dad spend a year and a half working on a garage that we cannot even park the car inside of. I am simultaneously working on a computer with a toddler running around the house.
While I am learning about tarot, crystals, and reiki, and I often fall asleep listening to binaural beats and various interviews with one of my favorite speakers. I feel that the recordings I was listening to, in combination with the implants in my ears, allowed someone to do program me or otherwise insert ideas into my head, that would possibly come out at a later date.
I am on a desperate search for God in my life, but I am looking in all the wrong places. Given the fact that I have had a horrible trauma done in my root chakra, and that I have implants in my head (photos below), is it any wonder that I was living a messed up life, searching everywhere for some sort of spirituality, and feeling this unexplainable sadness? In the midst of a kind of madness, feeling frightened for my family’s welfare, I am easily influenced by the implants on my head. I fall asleep listening to interviews with certain esoteric authors who say they espouse the truth, but in fact, are most likely occult practitioners, themselves.
I get involved in some metaphysical groups online to learn more about energy healing. One group had a charismatic female leader, who seems to have been sensitizing members of her group to trigger terms. I also join a hermetic forum, in which I meet a man there who also ends up sensitizing me to trigger terms. I didn’t realize it at the time, but what both these people were doing amounts to mind control.
The female leader of the Shamballa group was using techniques to alter people’s merkabas (which is an extension of a person’s aura). She also said she was using a technique known as “mind-bending” on various people in the group, as well as public figures, such as Hillary Clinton. She had her members doing some strange mediations involving crystals, and I blindly followed them, which I believe further opened me up to demonic influence.
Recently (2012), I saw an online group known as “Freedom from Mindbenders”, which I find interesting, although it wasn’t active when I found it.

12/12/2007:

A man whom I deeply admire does an interview on a radio show that discusses conspiracy theories and such. He is the man with the “honey mouth”. He says things that seem to be loaded with triggers that relate directly to my programming. It is my birthday. Later, I will hear a song by Duran Duran, called “Come Undone”, in which a line says, “Happy birthday to you was created for you”. In the beginning of the song is the phrase, “My immaculate dream made flesh and skin, I’ve been waiting for you”.
03/2008: I have been heavily influenced by a website that equates the name of “satan” with a god known as Enki. I am already working under a post-hypnotic suggestion due to the implants, as well as the music and interviews I listen to in order to fall asleep. I begin to hear voices. I have an event that could be described as a heart attack, but what it felt like was some powerful energy coming up into my root chakra, reaching my heart, then an explosion. For two weeks afterward, I am feeling elation. Voices begin to play with my ego. They start out by telling me they love me, that I am special in some way. The spirits or energies (associated with these voices) begin to do some sexual things to me, which will then be held against me later. I will be called “sick”, “too bad”, etc., to justify why they are killing me.
04/2008:

I begin to have memories that indicate I am a mind control and ritual abuse victim. When I post about these things in various email groups that are supposed to espouse the truth, I am ostracized.
05/2008:

I have the sensation of some spirit sitting in my lap, but it feels like it is an actual person I know of, and admire…. the one who did the interview on my birthday. Whether it was really him or not, remains to be seen, it could have just been a spirit imitating him, or some sort of hallucination induced through the implants. I cannot be sure of anything now.
06/2008:

These same voices are convincing me that I am Mary (of bible fame), or some type of “birth goddess” ala Sumerian lore, and that I will have an immaculate conception. Here, I must mention that Duran Duran song called “Come Undone”, in which he mentions “My immaculate dream…” Looking back, I can see this as some sort of mind-control, relating to the fact that I was Catholic, and that I played Mary in the school play. They also tell me that I will be reunited with my real family and are coming to get me. This is some powerful mind control, because I had never heard voices before in my life. I think that God is talking to me.
07/2008:

I discover the implants on each ear (photos below). I show Jerome and he doesn’t believe they are implants. I have no clue how long they have been there. Jerome thinks I am nuts because of the things I am saying about what the voices are telling me, and we start to fight about this. He has me baker acted into a state-run crisis center. They release me after a day because I am lucid. At one point, I end up staying at the neighbor’s house, when Jerome threatens to kick me out. I begin to have a fear of knives and forks, and the sound of lawn mowers. I file for food stamps and Medicaid.
08/2008:

My reaction to the voices becomes unmanageable, prompting Jerome to have me baker acted 3 times, which in turn, causes me to lose my job. By the end of the month, Jerome stops paying the mortgage and leaves with our daughter, Laura, and now since I have no job, I am unable to pay the bills that I used to be responsible for.
09/2008:

This is the beginning of my trauma and torture – Early in the month, I begin to feel the most debilitating pain I have ever felt in my life. I have since discovered the name of this condition is vulvodynia, and it is caused by previous trauma in the area. I spend the first month of it literally screaming on the floor. No one seems to care about it, or they just don’t believe me.
While in this horrible pain, the voices start accusing various people in my life for causing my pain. At this point, I have yet to have any flashbacks related to my pain, and since I am all alone and afraid, I believe them. I begin to send some very negative energy to all the people that the voices are blaming for my pain. I only sent that negative energy in an effort to make them stop. Later, I will make every effort to send healing to all of them, using crystals, when I realize that the voices have been lying to me about so many things.
10/2008:

The pain becomes unbearable, and I go to a neighbor’s house to use their phone and call an ambulance. I get to the hospital and I am treated very badly. They tell me that I do not have an STD, but they are going to treat me as if I do. I file for disability. The nurse stabs me in the leg with something she says is a “super antibiotic”.
By the end of the month, the power gets turned off. Just in time for winter. I begin to feel vibrating sensations in my left leg, where I was given the shot.
Since I have no money, I have to let my cat out to hunt for his own food.
I have to use candles to keep warm, and I use a gutted out toaster oven to cook on, by putting the fire inside the toaster oven, and putting a frying pan on top of it. I begin to have garage sales to try to make a few dollars.
11/2008:

I beg my father to help me to get on the methadone program because my pain is unbearable, and I feel this might help. It does, but only somewhat. Marijuana seems to help, but I cannot afford it. I make friends with a neighbor across the street, but his sexual interest in me is unnerving. I have no sexual interest in anyone because I have been messed with mentally to believe that I am meant for a certain man, whom I admire, who (when looking back on the whole mess) I see couldn’t possibly be interested in me. The voices are so powerful, and at this point I am getting visions and having strange physical experiences. While having some sort of vision of this man I admire, telling me that we belong together, he rolls some sort of etheric energy ball into my root chakra. I don’t know if the implants have something to do with this or if it is just occult magic done to mess with my mind, and to make me appear crazy.
Some other strange energy stuff happens to me, and I feel like my root and sacral chakras are being manipulated somehow. It feels good at the time, but like it is too much. It’s as if I have been taken over by something beyond my control. I hear a voice say, “You didn’t have to rip her open”. I am reminded here, of a symbol I identified with throughout my life, since childhood. It is the ankh. At one point in the future, I will see this image, on the backs of someone’s running shoes, but it has been ripped apart.
Early 2009:

I am told (by the voices) to get the Thoth Tarot deck because it is “my deck”. I see a version of my tattoo on several of the cards, trumps and others, most notably the Magi card, and the Devil Card, and some of the cards in the Wands suit. It is a variation of the so-called “winged disk”. When I got that tattoo, I had no knowledge of the “winged disk” of Egyptian fame.
I am denied for disability. I reapply.
Mid 2009:

I begin to have flashbacks of my mother doing something to me in my privates, but they aren’t totally clear. I just chalk it up to her changing my diaper or something. I do not want to blame her for something she didn’t do.
I end up going to another emergency room for help, and they won’t treat me.
Winter 2009:

I spend another winter using candles to keep me from freezing in the house. Occasionally, I can get a neighbor to let me stay on his couch, but I am made to kiss him.
My cat comes home one day, with a lump on his head. Considering the fact that I have implants, I am forced to wonder if they implanted him. I try to squeeze it to get whatever is in there out, but my cat won’t allow me to.
01/2010:

I realize that I have been programmed as some sort of a breeder. There is a band out there called “The Breeders”, which makes me wonder how many other women out there have been programmed in this way. How many are born on 12/12 with initials that spell “cat”? Later I will meet a man whose last name is “Sayer”, yet he will tell me it is “Sire”. Hmmm. Is this some sort of mind control related to programming that was done to me when I was young?
02/2010: Still hearing voices promising rescue… but no one ever shows up. I am suffering PTSD, and stockholm syndrome, but no one really seems to care. They try to make me feel guilty instead.
06/2010:

I end up going to work for a few days for these people who do yard services. They pay me nothing. I have to use their phone to call my dad and beg for cash so I can by pads. So they end up giving me about nine bucks for two days’ worth of hard work.
02/2011:

At this point, I have had to leave the house, and move into a tent in my neighbor’s back yard. The house I used to live in gets sold, and I lose everything I own. I still have to kiss this guy, just to keep my tent in his back yard.
03/2011:

I move in to a neighbor’s house, consisting of a guy, his girlfriend, their baby, and his brother. They end up ripping me off for $200.00 that I obviously cannot afford.
04/2011:

I move into an apartment with a friend who used to live at the house where I rented a room. He is schizophrenic, but on some level, I feel like we could be friends. Things get really weird, really fast. He expects me to be some kind of slave for him, and takes to destroying the apartment and making me clean it up. At one point, he disappears. His father tells me that he is in jail after wrecking his car.
06/2011:

After my roommate disappears, I meet the guy who lies about his last name. He is an IV drug user… bringing me back into a situation that I did not necessarily want to be in.
07/2011:

I have the flashback of my mother holding me down, while a doctor does something terrible to me in my privates. In the flashback, I can hear the instrument, my mother’s voice, and my own screams.
08/2011:

I hear a voice say, “we won’t let you live”.
09/23/2011:

Jerome is taking classes in electronic engineering, while trying to work full time. I come and stay for a couple of weeks, to help take care of our daughter and to stay for her birthday, allowing him some time to study for his next test.
10/07/2011:

I head back to my apartment, which is about an hour and a half away from where Jerome and Laura are living. While I am constantly hearing voices saying that I will be taken to jail for some crime I haven’t committed, I like having my own place. I am still in constant pain.
10/14/2011:

Jerome passes his next test, and we are speaking about me coming to stay with him to help him with our daughter, so he could have more time to study. He tells me he misses me on the phone.
10/30/2011:

He fails the following test, so he has to begin looking for another job. Now I cannot help him in the way I was hoping. It is as if some horrible and cruel energy does not want me to truly help anyone, even my ex or my daughter. I go back to my apartment, with the intent to come back to J’s house around Christmastime, so I can spend the holidays with my daughter.
12/08/2011:

Fearing for my life…. And/or my freedom, and having already bought my daughter’s Christmas gifts, I wanted to be sure she got them, lest she think I am a total piece of garbage, selfish jerk, that these voices think I am. I called Jerome and begged him to come get me at his earliest convenience. I just want my daughter to know I love her and think about her, even though I am in a living hell, and would be better off staying away.
11/2011(not completely sure of that date):

I go to a park with my ex and our daughter. We are watching some sort of a stage show. I hear a voice say, “I feel bad about this one”, and immediately after that, I feel some sort of painful energy hit me in the left side of my back, and go straight through to my chest. Is this some sort of energy weapon? I frequently have pain in that area, and my breathing has been affected. Immediately after this, I excuse myself to go sit in Jerome’s car, for fear that I might get attacked like this again, or that I might be arrested as some scapegoat for some crime I haven’t committed.
01/2012:

I am staying on the couch at Jerome’s, although the situation is awful. I am still hearing voices that say I am guilty of all these things that are obviously not my fault. Due to the fact that I have these visible and touchable implants in my head, y guilty feelings are no assuaged. I have obviously been subliminally influenced by them for longer than I know, since I only became aware of the implants in 2008, and my most recent surgery was in 2004, under a general anesthetic. That being said, I doubt they were implanted then, because I would have felt pain in the area after the procedure. Most likely, they were put in when I was a newborn.
08 & 09 2012:

I begin to awaken in the middle of the night to the sensation of my heart chakra, root chakra, and/or sacral chakra being vibrated. I feel like someone is using some sort of tesla like device to vibrate me apart. I often find myself having panic attacks for no obvious reason. I get heart palpitations. I feel burning sensations on my skin. I feel pain in my lungs, breasts, kidneys, pancreas, my liver, in that order, but then the pain seems to revolve. Then it comes back.
I am at the both disturbed and amazed by the lyrics of some of these songs by the band named “Muse”. Almost every song addresses some issue I have. “Newborn”, for example (since one of the words used in the interview is in fact “newborn”). Either they are told what words to put in their songs via those in control of this whole weird MK Ultra thing, or they have been tapping directly into my subconscious mind. They actually have songs called, “MK Ultra”, “Stockholm Syndrome” (which is an actual syndrome in mind control victims, as found in the behavior of Joseph Mengele toward his “patients”). For more info on Stockholm Syndrome, see the book entitled The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Controlled Slave, by Cisco Wheeler and Fritz Springmeier, which describes what I am going through, but on a different level. What is happening to me is much more insidious because it is happening on such a symbolic and metaphoric level, so that I would have no verifiable proof, except for these implants.
9/11/2012:

Okay… so this is weird: I opened up a music player on the computer, because I got tired of picking each song, one after another, breaking in between my reading or writing. So when I opened it up, the first thing that came up was this phrase from the Blade Runner soundtrack: “Not very sporting of you to fire on an unarmed opponent”. Then it went straight to Mumford and Sons, “I Will Wait (For You)”. It wasn’t in order, but I didn’t specify the “shuffle”. This indicates my exact situation, in a way. I have always been unarmed, yet, it seems as if someone has been firing on me, my whole life!
As I write this, I reminded of the date, 9/11, when the twin towers, towers 1 & 2, as well as tower 7, went down, after a supposed attack from Iraq. I am so sorry, but I find it hard to believe the news media, given what I know about the nature of our world, and given what I know about how this world is so infected with lies from those who feel they have the right to control others.
At this point, given what I know about secret societies and the occult, and given that they are in charge of our world today, and have been for so long, I find myself existing in a world loaded with lies, in which one cannot blame me for being messed up in the head, given that I was so sensitive to begin with. I mean, when you name someone after an animal, what do you expect? They say animals are more sensitive than people. It’s as if the archetype of the animal my initials spell is somehow engraven into my head, in addition to the archetype of the Hanged Man (12th trump) tarot card. I really had the deck stacked against me (pun intended).
Okay, so I was born on 12/12/1967. My heart skipped a beat, just as I typed those words. My address, when I was very young, was 712 Druid Hills Rd. I have to ask the reader to consider their birthdate, in relation to their various addresses, simply because of what I have been through in my life. I want to know if the pattern in my life is in any way indicative of how patterns in people’s lives manifest themselves according to birthdate, numerology, and corresponding tarot cards, or if this has been peculiar to me. For example, after my mom & dad were divorced, my mom moved into a place with the address 4473. Is it any coincidence that her birthdate was 4/4, and that her associated trump from the tarot is The Emperor card? She seemed to have so much power over others, like her boyfriends or my father. Is it any coincidence that my entire life has seemed to be in an upside-down position, when you consider that the trump card of the tarot that corresponds with my birthdate is The Hanged Man?
Throughout my process of learning exactly how I’d been cursed, I have been viciously attacked with slander, physically and mentally tortured, and I wish it would stop. It seems everyone I speak to regarding my situation, is somehow kept from helping me. Like that poor guy in “Tales of the Ubermensch: Hack.World”, I find myself living in a nightmare, from which I have yet to escape, in which it seems that others have been controlling my life. The difference in my story, though, is the fact that my programming and mind control wasn’t done to me by someone in person, like Delilah did to Nada. Rather, my programming was all done via implants, through radio waves (see photos of implants below). It is as if I have had no freewill, or at least it has been very limited. While I am suffering from numerous ailments, no one seems to be able (or qualified?) to diagnose them. I have been to three ERs and a couple of clinics, but cannot seem to get any real treatment for the constant pain I have suffered from over the past four years.
I find it bizarre that, while I am currently seeking disability, considering what I’ve been through, that a judge denied me. I mean, I tried to commit suicide at 17, have a documented history of depression, and have been in constant physical pain since 2008, I have self-mutilation scars, flashbacks, PTSD, a history of drug abuse… so what else do you need to see that I have been suffering, on some level, for most of my life??? Yet, I cannot seem to get any real help from the psychological “professionals”, who have, in essence, called me a liar. While they are treating me for schizophrenia, a disease worthy of disability, I am unable to get disability. What kind of world am I living in??? I applied back in October 2008, one month after my constant pelvic pain began. It has now been 4 years since I applied. I have been out of work, with no insurance, so I have been unable to see any doctors who are willing or able to spend a decent amount of time, determining my illnesses.
At this point, here are the photos of two very obvious implants at each of my ears, but very few people want to believe that they are real, even though I feel buzzing sensations and I hear noises through them on an ongoing basis. I also get pain from them. For example, the last psychologist I had, pretty much called me a liar when I saw her for the second appointment, when she said to me, “I already know you like to tell stories”. What the heck is that supposed to mean? That woman doesn’t even know me. I can only imagine that someone who doesn’t want me to get help said something to her. This is the same psychologist who told me that the implants (which are about the size of RFID chips, and can be felt in front of each ear) are keloid scars, which cannot be true, given what keloids look like as compared to what these implants look like.
Here are photos of my implants, and a photo of what keloid scars look like:

As you can see, keloids are on the skin and what I have are under the skin. They are obviously NOT SCARS. Some people try to tell me that they are just cartilage. There is cartilage in my nose, but I don’t get buzzing sensations or voices through that!
I don’t WANT disability, mind you, I need it. I hate the idea that I ever even had to apply for it! I am disgusted by it! I have always worked for my money and supported myself, and feel like the scum of the earth for applying.
09/25/2012:
In case anyone is interested, these voices, which are often the voices of people I know, are telling me that we (meaning me and other victims of this no-touch torture nightmare) are “just crops” to them. It begins to occur to me that everything I have seen and heard in movies, music, and television (tell-a-vision) has been orchestrated to farm a certain section of the populace.
9/27/2012:

The voices are threatening to put me in jail. I hear them call me a demon. I hear them tell me they don’t care. These same voices are the voices that used to tell me I was loved and chosen. They made me believe I was being saved back in 2008.

I feel burning in my chest, as if I am being hit with some sort of radiation.

I listen to bands such as Tool, A Perfect Circle, Muse, Smashing Pumpkins, Peter Gabriel, Depeche Mode, and Chevelle, and I am shocked by how closely the music hits home with me.

I must repeat the following: It is my fear that I was sold into slavery via this Catholic adoption, just to be implanted at birth, so I could be the subject of this horrible, evil mind control, via these implants, so that I could be made to sign that contract, against my will, in order to be a ritual sacrifice for these evil creatures that should get eaten by their own kind for what they’ve done.

10/29/2012 Update:

I was remembering that in 2010, I stayed for a month, in a house with a gay couple, Don and Jan. I remember how Jan used to treat Don. They had problems, but Don was nearly deaf, and wore hearing aids in both ears. They were both a bit strange, but don’t we all have our eccentricities? I gave them rent, but Don ended up buying tattoos with it, and then they kicked me out before the month was over. I moved back into the foreclosed house, but then had to move into the tent behind my neighbor’s house.

In 2011, I got a call from Jan that Don got hit by a car, outside of a bar, and was killed. It was a hit and run. The reason I mention this is because the way Jan treated Don reminds me of the way Jerome would sometimes treat me. It would often seem that there was a serious lack in logic. Jan would continually say he asked Don to do something, but after Don would do it, he would say that it wasn’t what he asked for, and would then get really angry. Then they would fight. It reminds of when Jerome threw me on the floor 3 times and then used my cell phone to call the cops on me. It is like they were doing some sort of PSYOPS. They would behave in unreasonable ways and then blame us.

It seems to me, especially lately, that those who have sincere feelings are the ones who end up being targets for hurtful people, or those who just don’t care.

My Mother, the Emperor:I am so sad that my mother is no longer alive. I wish I could talk to her about what happened to me. I do not know if she knew about her own tarot archetype and how closely it related to her, although I am 99.9% positive that she did not. The Emperor card related so closely to her life that when I saw the symbols on it, I could not deny that they represented various people who played significant roles in her life. It was when I saw that card; I knew that a large measure of freewill has been stolen from human beings via the graven images of the tarot.

Is it possible that her behavior towards me was a direct result of this card, in combination with her name, once married, being Taylor, Nay Gaeta? Is her name why she was so negative to both me and my brother when we were children?

Is this the work of God, through the printing and repetition of the “graven images” from the tarot & astrology, to infect the collective consciousness in the form of memes, or is it some nefarious agency that had the ruin of souls as its goal? I do not want to believe that it was God. Because one thing is for sure: what happened in my life is a direct result of the curse of the 12^th trump (reversal), or is at least a manifestation of the reversed nature of that card. I didn’t deserve it when I was born, and I don’t deserve what has been happening to me over the past four years.

Anyway, my point in this post is to say that I wish I could have talked to my mother about these things. I have no idea if she was ever aware of these things. When she died, she was awaiting an award from a class-action lawsuit awarding billions of dollars to millions of people. I have to wonder if this was somehow involved in her death. She had a heart attack and died a few months later.

When my mother died, I was living in that foreclosed house with no power, water, or garbage. I was collecting rain water just to be able to flush the toilet and bathe myself. I couldn’t even go to visit her when I wanted to. I got to see her in the extended-care facility one time. I was able to provide her one service of swabbing her dry mouth with a moisturizer before she died. It was the last time I saw her. I never wanted her to die.

If I could talk to her right now, I would alert her to the following: We have no freewill. That,

Adoptive Mother’s Card, because her birthdate was 4/4

because of our double digit birthdates, she and I were meta vibrations of certain numbers that are displayed in the tarot, and that we are either cursed or blessed by these images. My father, who supported her completely after their divorce, until she died, is represented by the aries on the left side of the card. The “ghostly” aries, on the right side of the card, represents her mother, who died about 20 years before she did. Both of these people were aries. On either side of the figure is a ball containing an 8-pointed star, which represents my brother and my cousin, who were both born in August. My mother was an avid, trophy winning bowler, and her last initial was a T, represented by the ball with the cross on it, as well as the figure Tzaddi, at the bottom of the card. I am possibly represented by the lamb at her feet. The fleur-de-lis beneath the lamb could represent my best friend, because her birthdate was 6/6. My mother had the power to get whatever she needed in her life. She even had an ex-boyfriend pay for her Cadillac, even though they were no longer together. I no longer blame her for my upbringing; rather, I just cite those circumstances (a 12 being raised by a 4)  as a partial cause for my own misbehavior and sadness.

Of course, another cause would be the curse of my own archetype. Was my birth on 12/12 engineered, so that my entire life would be lived in a “reversed way” as pictured on the card? Was it done so that I would be a ritual sacrifice for these evil people, as I have heard? That 12th trump, acting as a type of archetypal curse on me, in combination with the implants in my ears, would have a very deleterious effect on an individual. I have read that those involved in these cults will induce a woman to have a baby early in order to get a specific birthdate for a child, for some occult purpose.

I beg that if there is a God in this Universe, for Him to see the truth of what happened to me. I beg Him for mercy. I beg Him to see that the moment those implants were put into my head, my freewill was stolen from me. I beg for Him to put an end to the torture I am experiencing, knowing that I have been living under this occult tarot curse throughout my life, on top of the fact that my mind was being influenced by these implants, and that I have been unaware of these things until 2008. If God is the God of the Bible, who, according to the bible, loves truth and gave human beings freewill, then I must believe that this God will see what was done to me against my will, as a little child. I must believe that this God will see how this curse tied to my birthday forced me to live in a backwards way, and began to manifest when I was made to be right-handed against my God-given, natural inclination to be left, when the girl teaching me to write told me that it would be evil to be left-handed. I beg that God to see that it was my sincere desire to be good, but that forcing me to be right-handed changed my balance somehow, causing me to not be able to live up to my original potential. I wasn’t that bad, in comparison to many people out there, but I did some bad things in my youth and early adulthood.  Knowing about how strokes affect people shows me that changing someone’s natural handedness can have untold negative effects on someone’s life.

Born Into Slavery

Born Into Slavery

In 2009, I was told by a complete stranger on the street that I was “sold into slavery”. Given the events of my life, and the fact that I was adopted through a Catholic agency, it is not out of the realm of possibility. It did not take me much research to learn of the history Catholic organizations have with child trafficking, dating back in the 1960s, at least. I have been told that I was sold into slavery with the specific purpose of being a ritual sacrifice. There is no justification for what was done to me.  There may be more to be added to this document in the future, but I wanted to get it out before I die, or am imprisoned for some crime I haven’t committed. I fear this might be done in order to silence me. I have found myself to be a TI (Targeted Individual), but given the events in my life, I feel I have always been a target.

Before reading this, I would like you to have an answer to a common question I get from people who doubt what I am saying is true. I have had people ask me, “Why you?”, “Why would they pick you?”, and my favorite, “What makes you so special?”

Here is my answer: Why not me? I mean, if I am part of some experiment, does that question have any relevance at all? You might as well ask why Harry Harlow picked a particular monkey to be used in an experiment, or what made Dr. Jose Delgado use that particular cat for his experiment with brain stimulation? I was adopted & the records were sealed, so I

This is from an experiment done in the early 1950s, where a cat was made to lift its hind leg in response to brain stimulation.

don’t know if my birth mother was from some bloodline or not. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding my adoption. Just being adopted through a catholic agency puts one at risk for being stolen, which then puts one at risk for becoming an unwitting participant in a human experimentation program. Of course, I am not implying that all adoptees are victims of nonconsensual human experimentation, only that they are at a greater risk for it, since their records are often sealed.

I do not know how long these implants have been there. I believe it may have been done to me when I was a newborn, during the adoption process. I suspect this to be the case, since I was in a hospital for a period of time after my birth, & since I never had pain at the cites of the implants. They go all the way through the cartilage in each ear. I need to have a doctor look at them, perhaps with a CT, MRI, or PET scan, although I prefer to have at least one of them removed. Since I have lost my job and have no insurance, this is hard to do. It doesn’t seem like anyone is willing to truly help me with this. Here are the photos of them:

 These are photos of my implants….

 This is an image I found at “lovingenergies.com, showing the size of RFID chips.

In 2008, I began to audibly hear what is being transmitted through these implants. I also found myself in near constant pain in my privates. The psychologist I saw, since I was made to appear delusional, tells me that I just have to live with the pain, but this is not really living. When I told her about the implants, which are very provable, she replied that they could be keloids, which are scars. This not possible, considering what keloids look like versus what I have on my ears. These are keloids:

                           Example of Keloids

Keloids are ON the skin, while what I have is clearly UNDER the skin. I hear voices through the implants, and I also feel what can only be described as “impact sensations” through them. I had one person tell me that they were cutaneous horns, but those are also on the surface of the skin, not under it. Given the fact that I was adopted through a catholic agency, it is very possible that these implants have been with me my whole life, since the Catholic church certainly has more than one black mark on it’s record concerning it’s treatment of children.

When I discovered my implants in 2008, began to uncover my memories, and notice how orchestrated my life has been, I became a target for the worst kind of character assassination. I lost my job, my family, my world. I was abandoned in a foreclosed house, in which I lived with no power or water for almost 3 years. No one would help me, and the only way I could get a ride, or a warm place to stay during the coldest winter nights was if I allowed certain men to kiss and/or touch me.

I believe the implants in my head have been a major part of my problem throughout my life, & that, had I not been implanted, my life would have turned out very differently. A little research into the work of Dr.s Jose Delgado & Ewen Cameron (to name a couple), whose work in mind control goes as far back as the 1940s in some cases, will show that this is indeed possible. It is not only possible, but very likely, that these implants have been delivering subliminal messages throughout my life, or at least throughout their existence in my head. The proof is in the photos above. No one can say I am delusional regarding their existence or their placement in my head. I hear voices throughout them telling me I am a demon, or Satan himself, and that I am being killed & sent to hell. How’s that for a mind #@*!? I also hear high-pitched tones (on one side or the other-not ringing), and feel impact sensations, coming through these implants that I cannot seem to get a doctor to look at. Sometimes, the voices will tell me I am going to be framed for something, but I am a completely law-abiding citizen. Voices that were once subliminal are now broadcast 247 into my head to keep me in terror by calling me a criminal even though I am breaking no laws, telling me I am marked for death, going to jail, that I am just food, etc. At one point, I was at an amusement park with my daughter watching  show, when I felt a directed energy weapon attack: it felt like a hot poker going into my back and straight through my left lung, which I am sure is done to make it look like I died of lung cancer.

I must be a victim of either MK Ultra or the Monarch program, not only because I have had programming terms spill out into my conscious mind, but because it simply looks like my entire life has been orchestrated for the specific purpose of making me negative and to turn me away from God. At any rate, I can show that I have not been allowed much “freewill”, and its ending result was one of catastrophe. I am not even sure “freewill” even exists, hence the quotations. I urge any target reading this to read it completely, and then examine your own life to see how you may have been manipulated in relation to your name and/or birthdate, especially in regards to music and movies, as well as the tarot, used as a programming device, as opposed to a fortune-telling device. I am the victim of what can only be called Mind Control, regardless of what program was used. Taken separately, the events of my life may not look like Mind Control to most people, but when considered together, it cannot be denied that what happened to me was a classic PSYOPS experience or experiment, resembling The Truman Show, except in my case, I was debased, debilitated, and dehumanized on a fundamental level, whereas in the movie, they show the main character was raised by loving and attentive parents. After what I have learned about myself, and what I have witnessed in this country and the world, I am now forced to consider that the kinds of things that were done to me are occurring, in some level (even if a more subtle level), on a global scale, in order to make the whole of society unbalanced and unwell, and thereby easily manipulated by the hidden ones in power and the power structure. I am not writing this to disrespect my parents, which will be seen as my story continues below, as I know they too were controlled by this machine.

I have learned that certain occult brotherhoods, interested in making blood sacrifices, will force a woman to give birth on a certain day. I believe that my birthmother was more than likely induced to have me on 12/12, because of the predominance of that number in our culture, and its association in most tarot decks. I was adopted at 6 weeks, but I remember a photo of my father holding me and I looked like a newborn, which makes me think I was premature. They would do this to make sure that I would be weak and more easily manipulated.

In addition to that, I had the classic near-drowning at 3 years old, which is a well-documented event in mind control.

One thing that makes me believe that I was mind controlled to be negative is the fact that I was forced to write with the right hand, against my natural inclination to be left-handed. This was done by telling me, when I was learning to write, that left-handedness was evil. If the right hemisphere of the brain generally controls the left side of the body, as evidenced in studies of stroke victims, what does this imply for someone who is naturally left-handed, but forced to be right-handed? Is it possible that doing this to me could have “switched my poles”, causing a bright and intelligent child to slowly lose her natural God given gifts? Is it also possible that switching someone’s natural handedness could make them negative, less intelligent, unbalanced, and emotionally unstable? I believe it should be looked into. I believe that changing my natural, God given, left-handed nature caused me to lose ambition, creating a state of apathy & confusion, over time, and is at least partly responsible for my negativity. This is evidenced by the fact that when I was in grade school, I had a high IQ, and was in the top 2% of my class, but over time, my grades fell dramatically. I was lucky to graduate high school with a C average. While my mother’s negative influence in my life is, of course, partly responsible for this, I would have most likely been more self-motivated, had I been allowed to keep my natural left-handedness. This could also have something to do with what I document next.

There are many who believe that the tarot can be used to tell someone’s future, and others who would say it is meant to help people work through their psychological issues, but given my story, and how much it relates to a certain tarot deck (A. Crowley’s Thoth deck), I find myself thinking that these images had an unnatural and cruel programming type of an effect on my life, as did many other things in art, music, movies, and TV. After a certain amount of detective work, I have learned why.

“Life imitates art far more than art imitates life” –Oscar Wilde

As I mentioned earlier, I was born on 12/12/1967. I think it is very possible that the assignment of the number 12 in the trumps of almost every tarot deck, in addition to the prevalence of the number 12 in the bible and in culture, has also had a subliminal effect on me throughout my life, having a specific impact on my ego. In the tarot, the 12th card of the major arcana is usually The Hanged Man, an upsidedown person. Due to the patterns of my life closely relating to the Thoth deck, I feel that I may have been programmed with it. I have met one other person with a 12/12 birthdate, and he also feels like his whole life has been cursed. I certainly cannot deny the possibility, given the fact that my adoptive mother, born on 4/4, had a life that mimics exactly the 4^th trump in that deck. In the Thoth deck, the Hanged Man’s right foot is tied to an upsidedown Ankh, which is the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility. I find it sad that my ideas about life and fertility were always skewed in this way, although I had not known about this card for the majority of my life. As far as I know, I had never seen it, however, I must now question if I was shown this card in my youth, as some part of a mind control program. I only say this because of its serious and deleterious effect on my life. While I knew of my birthdate, I never really associated myself to that number on a conscious level, rather I have always identified with the number 3, possibly because I was baptized Catholic and received first communion.  I have to wonder if being born on this birthdate has affected others in similar ways, but I suspect that it depends on how the person is raised (including trauma in early childhood) in addition to their birthdate, name, numerology, tarot correspondences, and astrological sign, in addition to whether they were part of this mind control program that I seem to have been put through.

When one takes into account the occult nature of those who would be involved in such practices as MK Ultra and the Monarch Program, it is very possible that the tarot was used in conjunction with dark magic and mindcontrol, to create a peculiar pattern in my life that closely resembled the energy of the Hanged Man card throughout most of my life, causing me to blame God for everything in my life, turn away from the church given its history of killings and hypocrisy, and eventually sign a contract with a character named Enki (a Sumerian god), whom I was mindcontrolled into believing was the true God. I was only searching for the One True God of the Universe, and everything the churches were seen to be doing turned me away from them. By forcing my life into such a negative pattern (inverted-like the Hanged Man card), as you will see if you read this whole document, it was easy to turn me away from the God of the bible, making me believe that the bible lied. Given how the images from the tarot have affeted me & other people I know, however, I now understand why one of the commandments states, “No Graven Images”.

Here are pictures of the, The Emperor and The Hanged Man, from the Thoth tarot:

Adoptive Mother’s Card, because her birthdate was 4/4

While it seems that we have all been mind controlled to some degree, I see my case as slightly different from most people, only because of my mother’s 4/4 birthdate and my 12/12 birthdate, and how they were used against me. My mother’s card, The Emperor has so many symbols relating to her life that it was impossible for me to ignore. There are two rams (Aries) behind her (they “had her back” so to speak): the one on the left, representing my father, who always took care of her even after the divorce; and the ghostly one on the right, my grandmother who is deceased. The figure has one 8-point star in a circle (eight balls?) on either side, which represent my cousin and my brother, both born in August, whom she regarded fondly. The lamb at the bottom, represents me, from whom she was always looking away. This lamb is holding a flag, & one could say I was a flag waver for certain causes, such as Greenpeace (back in the 1980s). The Emperor is holding a ball with an equal-armed cross on it, so it is a coincidence that my mom was a trophy-winning bowler?

 

In my case, The Hanged Man is nailed down and unconscious, symbolizing how I have been unaware of what has been happening to me my entire life. Already mentioned is the fact that the figure is hanging upsidedown, from the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility, which shows how my entire life has been inverted. The fact that the figure has no clearly definable genitalia (just a lump of flesh in that position), is significant of castration, symbolic of the pain I am in today and have been suffering from since the middle of 2008. The serpent in the card represents the serpent class (or satan), connected via rays to the figure’s head, makes it seem that they are able to read my thoughts, to be displayed in some altered form, in movies, TV, but especially in music. One example of how my life has been played out in some form in music can be seen in the Beatles’ song, “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, where George Harrison sings: “I don’t know how you were inverted.” Another example would be the Kate Bush song, “Experiment IV” (4th trump=Emperor), in which she describes “a sound that could kill someone from a distance”, which relates to all the negative energies sent to me from my adoptive mother with that 4/4 birthdate. It is already well known that mind control is often addressed in music & movies. One thing I want to note here is that the things they are doing to mind control victims are played out in music in movies, so that when anyone complains of the effects of targeting and mind control, they can be dismissed as delusional (“Ah, you’ve been watching too many movies, man”). However, all one has to do is see how, even some political candidates, such as Connie Marshall (KY), and celebrities, such as Randy Quaid (his case told on YouTube), are now complaining of targeting, to understand that this is anything but a delusion.

12th Trump of the Thoth tarot deck

For some good information on targeting, see: http://hrvcanada.blogspot.com/2011/10/connie-marshall.html.

It was not long after I discovered the effect on me from the tarot that I began to see the symbolism in certain words. Notice, for example, the following words: Bill, chill, mill, kill, till, all have the root words “ill” in them; and how the words bow, chow, cow, pow, sow, all have the root “ow” in them. It might

The First Syllable in the Word, “MUSIC”, 12th Letter of the Greek Alphabet

mean nothing, yet it could still have a subliminal effect. I looked up the word “music” as two distinct words; mu and sic. Taken individually, they are defined as follows: Mu– 12th letter of the Greek alphabet, a lost continent in the Pacific Ocean, an opiate receptor, among many other things, and is a root in many words in the English language; and Sic– Intentionally so written, As written, A command to attack (as in “sic the dog”). That being said, one also has to take into consideration the sound of the word, “music”, as in “muse sick”. When I think of these definitions, and the way my life has been, I realize that my life seems orchestrated by some unknown entity, and I am praying that God would not do this to an individual. For example, my initials happen to spell “cat” (although my mother has confessed to not really liking cats), and when I was in school to be an artist, a woman entered that school, with the last name of “Skinner”, and somehow she was able to end up with many of my ideas without me telling her. I see this as related to the phrase, “skin the cat”. Later, she would introduce me to heroin at a vulnerable time in my life, which helped to ruin my career.

My initials, C.A.T., seem to have been given to me, with the specific intent of dehumanization (possibly as part of this sick experiment). I have read that many

Monarch Butterfly Cat from http://www.tigerpixie.com

survivors of the Monarch program are given “cat alters”, although I am not a multiple personality. I do think I have repressed memories, since I have heard programming break through to my conscious mind. I am a Mind Control victim who was adopted (as some would say, “sold into slavery“) through Catholic Charities, but was held in the agency’s custody for the first six weeks of my life, creating an attachment disorder, causing me to be a very emotionally needy child. Unfortunately, my adoptive parents were either unable or unwilling to fill this need. I ask myself why my mother would me name me something with the initials spelling CAT, when she never really liked cats. My parents had a natural born, ten year old boy when I was adopted. My mother’s maiden name was Gaeta, so when she married, it became Nay Gaeta “negator”, which is a cruel symbolic irony regarding the effect she had on my life. She was in her thirties when I was adopted. She smoked three packs of Parliaments a day, which is possibly why she had two miscarriages before I was born. She used a method of child-rearing, common in the 1960s, which advocated leaving the child to cry and/or scream for hours in the crib without responding. This method of caring for a baby is cruel, and I cannot imagine why anyone who loved their children would do this. I am sure that it causes or contributes what is known as “attachment disorder”.My parents were upper middle class, so in the absence of love, they gave me material things. My father, working a job that kept him out of town frequently, wasn’t around much, and I felt his absence. Although she seldom had to work, my mother was also never around much, leaving the raising of me up to myself, and various nannies that would come and go during the first nine years of my life. My brother, who was ten years older than me, was usually away at boarding school. I had the classic near-drowning at 3 years old (common among Ritual Abuse victims), and I am told that my brother saved my life when I was found floating face-down in the pool, although considering the accounts of RA victims and participants (who are also victims) throughout the world, I now have no idea what the real truth is.  In any case, it is possible that this was a ritual drowning, done to bring me to a near death experience, which would then allow for spiritual and demonic influence in my life, or easier mind control.

My brother has told me that our mother was caught shaking him when he was a baby, and had to be watched, which is why we ended up with nannies during the first eight or nine years of my life. If this is true, I have to wonder where our nanny was when I fell out of the crib during one of those times when I was left to scream in the crib, by myself. That being said, I do know that my mother had an obvious mean streak in her (The Emperor-remember), and I did witness her beating on my brother when I was around five, and he was fifteen. I know she was beaten by her own father, and I suspect she was sexually abused as well, so I am not trying to show disrespect for her or my father, as I know they were both victims of their own programming, as were their parents before them.

My parents got divorced when I was around 9 years old, and I took it hard because I really needed my dad in my life. My dad moved out of state, and my mother and I moved out of the family home. We ended up in the place where I spent the second half of my childhood, in a literal house of mirrors. This is why I call it PSYOPS (PSYchological OPerationS), because living in a house of mirrors during my childhood had a direct psychological impact on me. We had mirrored bedroom suites, mirrored coffee table, mirrored wallpaper, a mirrored pedestal with a steel sculpture, mirrored sliding closet doors, mirrored shower doors, mirrored art on the wall, mirrored tissue dispensers, mirrored cotton ball holders, and even mirrored outlets and switch plates. I am not exaggerating here. There was only one room in the house that didn’t have this décor, and it still had one big mirror on the back wall, behind the bar. I know this had an effect on me as a child. After reading the book about mind control, by Fritz Springmeier & Cisco Wheeler, I learned about the use of mirrors in mind control, it just seems to have been done differently in my case.

By the time I entered my teens, I became a rebel and got into the punk music scene, which only fueled the fire, so to speak. While I was never a racist, I did end up doing some very negative things, but I never committed murder. I was involved in some ugly behaviors with friends though, such as playing around in graveyards. The lack of a father figure left me easily influenced by boyfriends, throughout my life. Since my mother was never around when I was growing up, and when she was, she mostly gave negative feedback, I had very little encouragement, causing me to be lonely and angry. I felt bullied by her for the most part. She gave very little love, and just seemed to want to spend all her time with her friends. She was an avid bowler (see the image of the 4^th trump of the Thoth deck above), and would drag me to smoke-filled bowling alleys. She smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day throughout my infancy and childhood, keeping a smoke-filled home & car, which not only gave me asthma, but also a nicotine addiction. Instead of trying to reason with me, my mother would yell at me for bad behavior, with the following recurring theme: “You are stupid, stupid, stupid, and you’re never going to amount to anything!”, among other similar negative feedback patterns, which is, of course, more PSYOPS (as if the mirrors weren’t enough).

I have forgiven my parents for what they did because I know they must be victims of their own programming, or were coerced into adopting me and leaving me alone throughout most of my childhood, possibly as part of the experiment. My parents may have been unwitting participants in the scheme that I have witnessed occurring in my life, being victims of their own upbringing, so I have forgiven them, but I cannot forget the fact that neither of my parents were around much when I was growing up, which caused me to be quite emotionally needy, a quality that helped to destroy my life before I ever had a chance. There are many children who have suffered through similar divorce effects in their lives, however, the implants, the mirrors, the near-drowning at 3y/o, the adoption, and the symbolism I have referenced are simply too much for me to chalk up to a “child of divorce syndrome”.

Although I might’ve been guilty of taking a few dollars from my mother here and there, during my teen years, I never stole large amounts of cash from her. When I was 17 years old, however, I got accused of stealing her wallet, which had $800 cash and her credit cards. While I know I did not do this because I fell asleep and woke up on the phone with my boyfriend at the time, she allowed the police to take me in for questioning, who then coerced me into a false confession. I don’t know if the police just wanted a scapegoat, or if this was a part of PSYOPS done on me to make me fear police and other officials so I would be afraid to go to them for help. It also made me more of a rebel. This event helped to ruin my relationship with my mother.

When I began to have memories resurface about mistreatment in my life, I became a target for what is known as PSYOPS, COINTELPRO, and Electronic Harassment. I began to hear voices through the implants on my head. At first, they sent me positive messages, making me feel loved and cared for, but this soon turned to horrible and cruel words, designed to make me very sad and negative. Any professional I see wants to make me out to be schizophrenic, but won’t even do me the courtesy of getting these things on my head examined by a medical doctor. This tells me they are either in denial or are criminally negligent.

My mother was involved in a class action lawsuit against the tobacco companies which was won back in 2008 (or so my brother told me). My mother has passed away, and during the height of my breakdown involving the voices coming through my implants, and while I was living in that foreclosed house without water or power, my brother got me to sign over executorship of my mother’s estate. This leads me to believe that something fishy is going on. If anyone cares, please say a prayer for me. While me standing to inherent a large sum of money that a particular tobacco company might not want to pay could be one reason for my targeting, the implants in my ears lead me to believe this has been going on since my early childhood.

As noted, there may be more to this document to come, but I wanted to get it out before I die, or am imprisoned for some crime I haven’t committed. I fear this might be done in order to silence me.

Resources/References:

“The Hidden Evil”, by Mark M. Rich: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7UjwZXfLpG6UFpiNUQ0dDJjSlE/edit?usp=sharing

Adoption Scandals/Child Trafficking: http://news.yahoo.com/forced-adoptions-for-unwed-mothers-around-the-globe.html

“Brainchips”: http://www.wireheading.com/delgado/brainchips.pdf

Excerpts from Dr. Jose Delgado’s “Physical Control of the Mind”: http://www.biotele.com/delgado_%20ebook/chap13.htm

Ewen Cameron Brainwashing Case: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/montreal-woman-seeks-compensation-in-50s-brainwashing-case-1.670151