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Posts tagged ‘Satanism’

MC Victim Answers Accusations

08/22/2012A Mind Control Victim Answers Accusations from Perpetraitors:

Some people will say I am playing the victim, but I assure you that this is not by choice.

Some people will say I am lying, but you cannot make this stuff up, and I have photos that prove, at least, that I was implanted. If they were cartilage or keloids, they would not be delivering sounds and buzzing sensations through them. I ask the reader to suspend disbelief, until they’ve read the whole document. hank you for reading.

My daughter was born, in Oct of 2004, delivered via C-section. The very next month, I and my daughter both had surgeries. She had a surgery for pyloric stenosis, and I had one for cervical dysplasia. Both of us were put under general anesthetic. I have since had flashbacks of something very terrible being done to me in my privates, causing a constant physical pain that came out in Sept of 2008, in the form of vulvodynia, a disease marked by constant vaginal pain and contractions, often caused by previous  trauma in the area. When I describe my symptoms to people, some people believe it is demons doing it to me. That being said, in 2010, I had a memory resurface of the doctor (replete with surgical mask) doing something to my privates with a loud (“whirring sounding”) instrument, during which I could hear my own mother speaking to me, and I could hear my own screams. The fact that I could hear my own screams tells me this is a “flashback”, of a memory of an event that my mind had to repress to keep me sane. The fact that my mother was involved in this procedure, and in my flashback, I can clearly hear her telling me, “what a great hero you’re being for your country”, combined with the fact that my mother is now dead, tells me that they not only did something terrible to me, but that they might have killed her so that she would not be able to be questioned. The procedure was done by my OB/GYN, Romeo Acosta. I have been in constant pain in the area for around four years now. The pain itself is traumatic.

In May of 2008, I discovered implants, located just in front of each ear. I have no idea how long they’ve been there. I had an oral surgery in 1984 under a general anesthetic, and I had an oral surgery in 2001 or 2002 (I’m not sure of the date), under a general anesthetic. Although it could have happened when I was adopted and held by the Catholic agency (that has since been indicted on child-trafficking charges) for about 6 weeks before my family got me, even though they had my birthmother set up with my adoptive mother long before I was born.

Ear before pulling back to expose implant

Implants now seen after I pull back on ear

Considering the fact that I never felt pain in the locations of these implants after any surgery, I am forced to assume that they were put in before I can remember. I now hear voices through them and I have buzzing and painful sensations coming through them. As you can see from this image, they are not visible until I gently pull back on my ear, but they are definitely there. It was maybe a few months before I discovered the implants that I began to hear voices. At first, I heard a voice telling me to “purge”, as if referring to memories that were coming back to me, at that time. I also was made to believe that some of the voices were angels and that one of them was God. These voices communicated all manner of things to me, making me appear schizophrenic, so that I would be easily discredited (but I was suspiciously denied for social security disability despite the fact that I was given schizophrenic meds by the free clinic). The fact that I have these two lumps in my head cast a reasonable doubt on the idea that I may be schizophrenic. Also casting doubt on the schizophrenia diagnosis is the fact that the lithium and other meds I was given actually made the voices get worse.

At the end of August, 2008, I was left in a foreclosed home with no power or water, when my boyfriend left with our daughter. This happened as a result of me hearing voices and following their commands, thus appearing crazy. At that time, the voices coming through the implants, I didn’t yet know about, were telling me that my real family was coming to find me, prompting me to go around looking for them. Well, they lied, but this made me look nuts. In early September of the same year, I found myself in the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life. While in this constant pain, I stayed in that house for about 2.5 years, in the worst heat and, at times, in freezing temperatures. I had no vehicle and had no way of getting around, in order to try to get a job. During that time these voices, coming through the implants, told me that certain people, in my life were causing my pain. This made me send very negative energies at these people. Also during that time, in the worst heat of summer, a police helicopter woke me up at 2:30am, flying in a circular pattern, around that house, shining the spotlight into the windows for over a half an hour, which was traumatizing to say the least. During this helicopter trauma, no police vehicle came to the house, which makes the entire event suspect of someone trying to traumatize me on purpose.

While my boyfriend had a decent excuse for leaving, and for trying to have me locked up 3 times, thereby costing me the one job I ever truly loved in my life, his treatment of me during that time was downright cruel at times. For example, when he left, he promised to leave me with one of our two vehicles, but he ended up taking it instead. Also, there was one time, within the year after he had left, and I had no job at that point, and I was alone in pain, unable to walk much, and without a vehicle, trying to work with crystals to heal myself, I had no money and no way to get food. I ended up having to sell some of his tools. He busted in the door and yelled at me. He went to smash my crystals, and I tried to stop him by putting my arms between his hands and my crystals. He then grabbed me by the arms and threw me on the floor. This happened three times, and on the 3rd time, I hit the chair first. Then he grabbed my cell phone, ran out the front door, shutting it behind him & held it closed while he called the cops to accuse me of domestic violence. HE LIED, & I’M PRETTY SURE THAT COP KNOWS IT. This man is 6’3” tall and is almost twice my size, in weight and stature combined. There is no way I could ever physically harm or abuse him. I mean, come on now!

Most people are aware that the Catholic Church has been indicted on child-trafficking charges, in connection to satanic ritual abuse. I was adopted through Catholic Charities, which also has some record of being involved in child-trafficking. Many people are aware of the existence of ritual abuse and mind control, especially that which has been uncovered, during the 1977 MK Ultra Senate Hearings, to have occurred in the 50s and 60s, to witting and unwitting victims. In those hearings, it was discovered that many files of these horrendous experiments were destroyed. While it has been stated that these secret programs ended at least 12 years prior to the 1977 hearings, the fact that they were secret in the first place, leads me to believe that other programs continued after the one known as MK Ultra had ended. The experts involved in this and other secret programs were often Nazi scientists brought into our country, under what is known as “Project Paperclip”. Some such “experts” include Joseph Mengele, Ewen Cameron, and Jose Delgado. Many of the Nazi scientists were experts in the occult. Other mind control programs that are documented include: Project Naomi, Project Artichoke, Project Monarch, and Project Delta. A common practice involved in these mind control programs was to use adopted children and children from orphanages. Most experts on mind control know about the use of occult symbolism.

Beyond typical mind control and ritual abuse, involving a drowning at 3y/o (which is common to ritual abuse survivors), I have been unknowingly, unwittingly living under an occult curse my entire life. I only became aware of it within the past four years, when I discovered the Thoth tarot deck and its’ uncanny connection to my life, as noted in the e-books, “Meta Crime”, and “Symbolism, Mind Control, and Metaphysical Sabotage in Relation to Archetypal Transference and the Second Commandment of the Decalogue”. This curse is tied to my birthdate with the 12th trump of the tarot, which, in almost every single deck (of which there are over a thousand in print today), is an upside-down figure. In at least three different decks, there is a serpent close to the victim’s head, or attached to it with rays. I have read a document entitled, “Project Monarch – Nazi Mind Control”, on the internet, which states: “One of the earliest writings giving reference to occultism is the Egyptian Book of the Dead, a compilation of rituals explicitly describing methods of torture and intimidation (to create trauma), the use of potions (drugs) and the casting of spells (hypnotism), ultimately resulting in the total enslavement of the initiate. These have been the main ingredients for a part of occultism known as Satanism, throughout the ages.” In the Crowley Thoth deck (Thoth is the Egyptian God mostly associated with magic, writing, science, and judgment of the dead) the serpent either represents Satan himself, or it represents the so-called “serpent class”, who are adepts at the occult. Also in at least three different decks, is an upside-down ankh, which is the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility, a symbol that closely resembles the currently accepted sign of female. For some reason, I was always very attached to the symbol of the Ankh, while never knowing what symbolism meant. The 12th trump card is a graven image in the respect that it is an image of suffering and/or death. This curse has made it impossible for me to live a normal life, or have any true freewill, because I have been metaphorically upside-down or reversed throughout my entire life. The reversed nature of the card, and especially of the upside-down ankh in the 12th trump of at least three decks of the tarot, has caused that reversed vibration to manifest itself in my life, in the following ways:

1)      I was naturally left handed, but the person teaching me to write made me be right handed, by telling me that left-handedness is evil. I was a small child when this happened, but over time, it had the effect of helping to make me a very negative person.

2)      My mother named me with initials that spelled the word for a specific animal, dehumanizing me. Later, she would tell me, “I don’t know why I named you that, I don’t even like cats”.

3)      My mother constantly put me down, bullied me, called me names, and held other people’s children over her own, comparing me to my cousins, my friends, often telling me that I was no good and that I would “never amount to anything”.

4)      My mother (born on 4/4 which corresponds to the 4th trump, the Emperor card) had way too much power to be raising someone in such a prone position, as what is displayed on the 12th trump. This card, backed with some sort of occult intent to make a living sacrifice on a metaphysical level, created an energy of powerlessness. The voices coming through those implants tell me that I am to be a ritual blood sacrifice.

5)      The television (tell-a-vision) was my primary babysitter. I was left alone in my childhood, and was even allowed to play alone in the woods at 6 and 7 years old. Anything could’ve happened back then (including being implanted), since I have memories of going to the woods, memories of playing in the woods, but no memories of coming home. Doesn’t that seem strange to anyone besides me?

6)      My mother smoked 3 packs of cigarettes daily, exposing me, because they did not know the impact of second hand smoke on a baby back then, which addicted me to nicotine at a very early age, and caused me to have asthma.

7)      My brother often enjoyed terrorizing me. One such example I can cite is of him wrapping me up in a blanket and tossing me down the stairs. When I got to the bottom of those stairs, I pushed the blanket off of me, and saw my parents laughing at me.

Regarding other accusations about things I may or may not have done in my lifetime: Anything I am actually guilty of is directly attributable to the occult curse I have been living under throughout my life. However, I have done comparably little evil in this world, when compared to what has been done to me. Considering the fact that I have implants in my head, that are easily provable, there is no telling how long I have been subliminally affected by them, or what the voices coming through them have said to me in my sleep. Yet, I’ve never gone out and killed anyone, and I never will.

That being said, the following is a list of accusations and responses to them:

1)      I have been accused of not sharing, but if one considers how my whole life was orchestrated and my inspiration was stolen from me via the serpent class, as represented by the snake at the head of the victim in the 12th trump of the Thoth, Ludovica, and Hermetic tarot decks, then it would stand to reason that I would have a subconscious need to hold onto things, as a security issue, given that I was subconsciously seeing my own creative ideas being stolen. For example, artistic ideas were stolen from me (C.A.T.) by people like M.J. Skinner (“skin the cat”). That being said, let it be known that when I saw others who were truly in need, even when I was myself living in substandard conditions, I still shared what I had. Please see my document entitled, “Metaphysical Sabotage”.

2)      I have been accused of being a pedophile ….   This is simply ridiculous and doesn’t even deserve a response, but the answer is: NO, I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE, NOR HAVE I EVER KISSED OR DONE ANYTHING REMOTELY SEXUAL WITH ANYONE UNDER AGE,. HOWEVER, I MYSELF WAS DATE-RAPED, WHEN I WAS 16 Y/O, BY A 21 Y/O, AND IT WAS MY VERY FIRST EXPERIENCE OF INTERCOURSE. I NEVER PROSECUTED HIM.

3)      I have been accused of being a racist ….  Never in my life have I ever been racist, nor have I ever discriminated on the basis of anything. In fact, even as a child, I always showed the utmost respect for oppressed races and cultures.

4)      I have been accused of being a baby killer. While I deeply regret having two abortions, I had no parents around raising me, and as a result, I ended up following much of what those around me believed, especially the males, because I sorely lacked a father figure in my life. At one point, I ended up with a boyfriend who as prochoice and exposed me to the book called “Our Bodies Ourselves”, which approved of abortion. Unbeknownst to me, my subconscious was having a strong influence in my life, and had me always seeking out a daddy. In my late teens and early twenties (and even into my 30s), I was easily influenced by every boyfriend I had.

5)      I have been accused of being lazy. Up until I found myself in excruciating pain, I have always taken relatively good care of my home, until I found myself simultaneously working, taking care of a toddler, and trying to keep house from 2005 until 2008.

6)      I have been accused of being a whore, which I am most certainly not. There have been short moments in my life, when I was forced to live like one, like when I was living in the streets, but I am not one, and have not truly ever been one.

7)      I was a latchkey kid from 9y/o until I moved out, even though my mother didn’t have to work during that time, at all.

8)      As previously discussed, I have been living under an occult curse my entire life, as a result of my birthdate in relation to the 12th trump of the Thoth tarot, with the upside-down ankh (the Egyptian symbol for life & fertility), with my mother being the 4th trump, allowing her way too much power over me.

9)      I have been accused of being a narcissist … I spent half my childhood in a house of mirrors, with a narcissist mother, in which there was a completely mirrored coffee table, the closet doors were mirrored, the bedroom sets were mirrored, and even the wallpaper was mirrored. Can you say PSYOPS? What does growing up in a house of mirrors do to a child anyway? So I probably WAS one, but I am not one now. For info on the role mirrors play in mind control, please see the following: http://www.theforbiddenknowledge.com/hardtruth/mind_control_art.htm

For more info on general mind control programming, including the use of mirrors, see the Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler document about “Undetectable Mind Controlled Slaves”, here: http://www.emhdf.com/Monarch-mind-control.pdf

10)   I have been accused of being “cruel” …  well, I couldn’t have possibly been as cruel to my child as the catholic church has been to me, by holding me in custody for the first 6 weeks of my life (with no parental bonding), or by allowing some agency to put implants in my head. There was a time, when I was in my late teens or early twenties when this guy named Bob punched me and threw me into a sliding glass door. I retaliated after being goaded by his own friends. I am not proud of what I did. I painted his member red. Even to this day, when I have repented of it to people I know, I was told it was “funny” not “horrible”, and that he deserved it for hitting a woman. However, I sincerely regret it.

11)   If the accusation is in relation to me name calling or being a bully when I was younger… well, my parents were bullies to me (mom called me stupid, while dad called me fat). Growing up, my friends made up names for others, and so did I. “When in Rome, etc.” I think this is where that came from, but I changed. For example, there was a teacher in my school named Emma Mosteller, and my friend, Lucianne, made up the name, “Enima Molester”. I subsequently called my friend “Lusty Anus”. I am not proud of it, but I was following a pattern. Considering the fact that I was metaphorically upside-down, it should come as no surprise.

12)   I have been told that “you snooze you lose”, regarding the fact that, after I lost my job, finding myself in horrible, nightmarish pain, with no vehicle, no place to go, and living in a foreclosed house with no power or water, it took me over three years to begin writing about my experiences in any coherent way. I had virtually no access to a computer, so I was unable to learn much of anything in relation to the curse, or anything else for that matter. When I was able to get to a library, I found many books unavailable. I contend that I was not snoozing, rather, I was cut off from every outlet to state my case for forgiveness, once I began to learn of the metaphysical curse I had been living under throughout my life. Also, I was in a state of constant traumatic pain and hearing voices through these implants, which I sometimes want to call “headphones”. Even friends and neighbors would rarely let me use their computers to get online, so I was unable to post my experiences. When I was able to get online, I was hit with either (at neighbor’s house) someone talking in my face during the whole time, which distracted me, or (at library) I would be inundated with various voices throwing me off track, or scaring me into leaving with threats. Wherever I went for help regarding my specific problem, I was not able to get adequate treatment, which I sincerely hope will change soon. Whoever is responsible for the ongoing Traumatic Stress Disorder should have to face some consequences for their actions, because its goal seems to be just to make me appear insane, or to actually drive me insane, but it seems like there is some agency that does not truly want me to get help, or recover.

13)   I have been accused of being a liar … Honestly, when I was younger, I did make things up to try to get attention from my parents, because they were simply absent during my childhood, but I did change. In fact, I made the conscious effort to change because I did not like getting attention that way, and I didn’t want to be a liar. At the risk of being labeled a liar by my accusers/gang-stalkers, I am being honest about my past. At one point, after discovering what was happening to me, I believed that one of my doctors (OB/GYN) might have been named Delgado, but I have since researched my personal files, and realized that neither one of them had that name. This tells me that these verifiable implants have been used to enforce the idea that I had a doctor named Delgado, just so someone could then paint me as a liar. While it is possible I had an oral surgeon by that name, I cannot verify the name of the last oral surgeon I had, who was in St. Petersburg, FL. The first oral surgeon I had was named Castellano, and was in Tampa. Regardless of what doctor put the implants in, and what doctor did the horrifying procedure to my privates, the flashback and the pain are absolutely real. I have no doubt that trauma occurred in my privates to cause it, but of course, no one wants to believe it, or give me a true exam, or even give me pain medication for it. The trauma to my privates has caused the condition noted above called vulvodynia, which is a constant pain in the area, usually caused by a previous trauma to the area.

14)   I have been called a “user” … I honestly do not want to be disabled, not in the least. I have always worked very hard for my money, and in most job I’ve held, I was always the top performer. However, I am suffering from severe PTSD due to the horrible and evil events that happened to me. The obvious implants, that are located in front of each ear, may have subliminally influenced me the whole time they have been in place. For all I know, they may have been sending me subliminal messages during my sleep to make me psychologically unwell.

What was done to me, throughout my life, violated every law imaginable at the time of my adoption. From what I understand, back in the 60s, it was illegal to put implants in a child’s ears, and mind control was illegal. These days, it seems to be the norm, as I can see and hear it in the music, movies, and television. Since the patriot virtually repealed every human right we had in our constitution, those who wish to subvert human rights seem to have been given carte blanche to do so.

If there is an honorable attorney out there, who recognizes that at the very least, that I should be grandfathered in to being able to sue those responsible for my implants, due to the date of implantation, I would love to hear from one. I have read that one can find the manufacturer of an implant by examining it under a microscope.

I believe I was sold into slavery, to be a part of some horrible macabre experiment, designed to influence me in a subliminal and insidious way, to do things against my true nature and freewill. I hope those who are inflicting this “soft-kill/no-touch torture”, as well as that those who put the implants in my ears are someday held liable for their actions, for what they are doing and have done to me is the most heinous crime I could’ve ever thought possible.

I pray every day that someone can help me. I am living in what I can only describe as a mental concentration camp.

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Symbolism, Mind Control, and Metaphysical Sabotage in Relation to Archetypal Transference and the Second Commandment of the Decalogue

12th Trump from the Thoth Tarot Deck

Lil Wayne video "My Homies"

Lil Wayne Video Foreshadowing Colorado Batman Premier Shooting, 12 dead 71 injured

No Graven Images:

Has anyone noticed that, as newer versions of the bible come out, the term, “Graven Images” has been selectively removed? I believe there is a reason for this. This is a short document about the results of a certain graven image from the tarot, the 12th trump, in 2012. Graven Images are literally “images fraught with danger or harm”. I think the statement in the 2nd commandment of the Decalogue had more than one purpose. It seems that graven images are able to cause all sorts of chaos in the world, through a process that could be referred to as Archetypal Transference. The Lil Wayne video, foreshadowing the Batman movie premier shooting by James Holmes, is an example of how so-called “Graven Images” can have a negative impact on our society. I feel that the second commandment of the Decalogue was either mistranslated, or misinterpreted (selectively interpreted), leaving a part of the meaning out, based on the meaning of the word “graven” as a past participle of the word “grave”. I have seen where certain “graven images” have had effects on others. In the case of the shooting in Aurora, Colorado recently, at a Batman movie premier: the shooter, James Holmes, killed 12 people and injured 71. This event was foreshadowed by a “Lil Wayne” video called, “My Homies Still“, in which he shows 12 skeletons in a movie theatre, amongst live people, while he sings in front of them. Could it be that the “graven image”/image of death caused a vibration to be carried out by some unwitting patsy? Could images of death have impacts on people that are not seen to date, via chaos magic and/or quantum mechanics? This image of the screen shot above was taken from: http://illuminatiwatcher.com/?p=2924.

The images on either side of the screen shot, are two versions of the 12th trump of the Tarot, one is from the Crowley-Harris Thoth deck, while the other is a painting by Ludovica Wing Shuen Price. (Link: http://www.elfwood.com/art/l/u/ludovica/the_hanged_man.jpg.html). Both images seem to illustrate some of what is happening in our world in the years surrounding 2012.

This document is about how symbolism has been used to negatively affect our society, taking away a person’s freewill, without them knowing it. I am no “Bible-thumper”, but I contend that the second commandment is more than a comment on idolatry, and may have been mistranslated to keep people from understanding its original intent. Most people see the word “graven” in the Bible, and say it means “engraven”, as in an engraved image. As noted above, the word “graven” is a past participle of the word, “grave”, and is both noun and adjective. As a noun, a “grave” is a tomb or sepulcher. As an adjective, the word “graven” means (from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/graven): “fraught with danger or harm”, and “somber or dark in hue”. With this in mind, an image of death and/or destruction is a graven image. After much study of the subject of symbolism, I have seen how life imitates art in the most unfortunate ways, due to the large-scale, metaphysical impact of the graven images in the Tarot. I have also seen how it has affected all of us living in the years surrounding 2012. One way I know that I am very close to the truth is that, since I began to understand these things, I became a target for the worst kind of harassment and smear campaign I would have ever thought possible, had I ever conceived of such a thing, before it happened to me. I ask the reader to keep in mind the effects of Tarot symbolism on the human psyche, as they read this. If you have a double digit birthdate, please pay special attention to what is written here. There is a reason why I am being kept from speaking out, why people who say they espouse the truth will not respond to emails, and why I have had my character assassinated.

Archetypal Transference, Chaos Theory, and the Law of Attraction:

I have seen many spiritualists and new-agers speaking of how the manifestation of a certain desire can be achieved by the amplification of a vibration, which occurs when the image or thought of that vibration is repeatedly focused on, causing what is called a feedback loop. This concept of is often discussed in quantum and chaos theories. It is usually spoken of as a way to manifest good things for oneself.

However, I have seen where the repetition of a specific vibration can manifest deleterious effects on people unaware of the precarious position they were placed in, at birth, through the use of various archetypes.

Please consider the phrase “justice is blind” & the corresponding archetype of the blindfolded lady justice for a quick example of the way this can work to someone’s detriment, without their knowledge. https://musicis2words.wordpress.com/2013/09/20/why-is-justice-blind/

Due to my birthday being 12/12, the graven image that seems to have had a very negative impact on my life is the 12th trump card of the tarot (see images above), showing either a crucified or upside-down figure. The deck that I am most connected to seems to be the Thoth deck, also referred to as “the Crowley deck”, and was originally printed in 1941. In this deck, the figure in the 12th trump, known as “The Dying God” (image at top, left), is not only upside-down, but is also unconscious, having nails on three limbs. The deck is definitely stacked against this character. One foot is tied to an upside-down ankh, which is the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility, that happens to closely resemble the symbol for female, indicating a female life lived in reverse (coincidentally, “live” spelled backwards is “evil”). The position of the serpent at the head of the figure has severely negative connotations, whether it represents the serpent class or Satan himself. To me, this is certainly a “graven image”, that is, it is an image of suffering and/or death. The meaning, usually associated with getting this card in a reading, obscures the truth about what the vibration of that card may do to people born on the 12/12 date. It is related to something called “Archetypal Semiotic Transference”, as written about in Michael Gaio’s article, which can be found online at: http://blog.michaelgaio.com/2011/09/25/archetypal-semiotic-transference/

What it really represents is a form of metaphysical sabotage, creating a form of slavery whereby the victim has his or her intellectual property stolen from them on a subconscious level. The victim never is able to understand why they feel so spiritually depleted, because they are not made aware of it on a conscious level. It becomes a disturbance in the mind, setting the tone for a reversed or inverted sort of life.

The Tarot and Freewill (or Lack Thereof):

As you can see, certain “graven images” have had a weighty impact on my life, simply due to my birthdate being 12/12. Some will say that I am playing a victim. I can assure you it is not by choice. I am not the only person being affected by these images. I know of one other person born on 12/12, and one born on 12/24, experiencing this effect to some degree. I ask you to read this document with the intent to know truth. This document is my proof that I have not been allowed to have real freewill in my life, due to an occult curse that was put on me since I was born. Although I never knew about the Tarot until more recently, it still had powerful effects on me, even in my childhood.

There seems to be some debate about how long the tarot has been in existence in its current form. Most Tarot aficionados say its current manifestation began in the 18th century, while some believe it was the 16th century. In either case, the tarot has been around for more than a couple of centuries, with the 12th trump as The Hanged Man. Attesting to the popularity of the tarot, is the fact that there are over a thousand tarot decks in print today, with untold printings of each deck. While there may be some variations, almost every deck I have seen has the same archetypes in the trump cards, although there are some exceptions. The most notable exception is the Crowley-Harris Thoth deck (with Egyptian, Astrological, and Cabbalistic influences), whereby the 11th trump, which is traditionally the “Justice” card, has been replaced by a card known as “Lust”, and the 8th trump, which is traditionally the “Strength” card, has been replaced by the card known as “Adjustment”. I relate this form of mind control, using the symbolism of the tarot, to the Monarch Program, and other programs of mind control, because those who have power over those who do not, have gotten and continue to get their power through morally reprehensible ways, using occult practices (including the Egyptian Book of the Dead), manipulating symbols that are supposed to be sacred, and causing untold suffering to their victims.

Manipulation of the Ankh (Egyptian Symbol for Life):

Upsidedown Ankh Indicating Upsidedown Life in 2012Ankh in Correct Postion of Life in Correct Position

Here are two pictures of an Ankh. While there are multiple meanings attached to this symbol, it is the mostly used to represent the word “life” in Egyptian hieroglyphs, and it happens to closely resemble the commonly accepted symbol for female. What does it imply when this symbol is upside-down? Has anyone noticed how, in 2012, life seems to be upside-down? In a so-called free country, laws protecting our freedoms have been severely restricted. The Catholic Church, which is supposed to be a spiritual organization, has been indicted on child-trafficking charges? The Catholic Church, at the Vatican, has eight obelisks, imported from Egypt at Vatican Square, and five ancient Roman obelisks, so they are indeed using symbols of an Egyptian heritage. How spiritual is it to sell children into slavery to be victims of mind control? Is it also possible that the images of the tarot have had some impact on the state of our world, depending on the year? I am reminded of the oft-quoted statement by Michael Ellner: “Just look at us. Everything is backwards; everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the major media destroy information and religions destroy spirituality.” Is it any surprise that this upside-down state of the world has reached a pinnacle in the year 2012, considering the image of the upside-down person on the 12th trump of virtually every tarot deck, and considering the symbol for life is upside-down in at least two decks, which have rapidly gained in popularity, over the past few years? If everything is upside-down in and around 2012, what happens in 2013? The 13th trump of every deck is the Death card, which is yet another graven image from theTarot. This indicates that those born on 12/12, 12/21, or also 12/24, since the 24 is 12+12, have been metaphorically and metaphysically, close to death.

Law of Attraction and Memes:

If both chaos theory and quantum theory, as applied to metaphysics, illustrate how what you focus on becomes attracted to you, as is discussed in movies like The Secret and What the Bleep Do We Know?, then is it possible to program someone into attracting negative things by using symbolism in negative ways? How can one overcome such an amplified vibrational effect? Is it also possible that, with so many people studying the tarot, do readings for other people, developing their own decks, and so many people repeating the same patterns of symbolism in their versions of the tarot, that those archetypal energies become amplified? I submit that the Tarot are decks of glorified flash cards, tools used for the apparatus of Mind Control, causing certain negative memes (a term coined by Richard Dawkins) to run rampant in our world. From Wikipedia: “A meme is an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture. A meme acts as a unit for carrying cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena. Supporters of the concept regard memes as cultural analogues to genes in that they self- replicate, mutate and respond to selective pressures.” The rising popularity of the tarot has allowed certain memes to pervade in our culture, possibly contributing to the negative situation in our world today, where so many of us now lack those freedoms we once took for granted. I should Splayed Apart Ankh=Bad Magichave known things were getting ugly when, on the back of someone’s running shoes, I saw the image of the ankh, being splayed apart. Did someone have a specific intent in creating that logo? Is someone tearing life apart in that logo? Fertility? Women? I have to wonder how many of these shoes are currently in circulation, and how many people have repeatedly focused on that image, thereby generating a very negative meme. As a meme, that image would cause serious problems in life, given the meaning of such a symbol.

Is there any way to stop these negative memes from replicating in people’s unconscious lives?

Archetypal Transference:

Many people in our society believe that astrology has an impact on people’s lives and personalities. This effect has been seen often when comparing a person with their astrological sign. For example, Scorpios are known to be kind of cruel, while Leos are known to always take center stage in any situation. This effect has been studied at length, but the effect of the Tarot on people is much more subversive and subliminal, and lesser studied. Most people use the Tarot as a guide for telling a person’s future, although C. G. Jung was one person interested in studying the archetypes of the Tarot in relation to one’s psychology, which is where “Archetypal Transference” comes in. Many people believe in what Jung called the “collective unconscious”. Could this be how Archetypal Transference is achieved? With so many people using the Tarot these days, is it possible that these images become more amplified in the collective unconscious? I suggest that this is why I and others born on 12/12 have felt so cursed and mistreated throughout their lives, especially as we have approached the year 2012.

Symbolism in Language:

Mu, the first syllable in the words "music"

The First Syllable in the Word, “MUSIC”, 12th Letter of the Greek Alphabet

Lest the reader doubt my understanding of symbolism, please note how the word television is symbolic of  “telling a vision” and how the word music (mu and sic being two separate words in the English language) is a combination of the words MU: “12th letter of the Greek alphabet”, and SIC: “as intentionally so written”. This can be viewed as the vibration of the number twelve being “as intentionally so written”. This is symbolism in its most basic form, as found in our everyday language, which has its effects on the most fundamental level, influencing the way we view everything in our lives, including other people. In my life, it seems to have manifested in the profound way music affected me, but then also, it often seems like my own subconscious has also affected much of the popular music in some ways. I say this because so much of the music I am hearing lately reflects things in my own programming. Some other examples of negative symbolism in the language includes words such as Bill, Chill, Mill, which contain the root word “ill”, in them, and Bow, Chow, Sow, which contain the root word “ow”. There are many other examples of this.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies:

I have been living under this archetypal curse my whole life, without ever knowing about the Tarot, and archetypically, my whole life has seemed upside-down. It seems to have caused me to be spiritually sick. I am not the only person born on 12/12 (“a meta-twelve”) who feels like they have been living under a curse. It would be interesting to do a study on those born on double digit birthdates, to see if their lives have related to the corresponding trump card of the Tarot, depending on the deck. For those born on a date such as 1/1, (“meta-one”), the 1sttrump of just about every Tarot deck is the Magi card, which would be advantageous to anyone born on that date. In my case, my having a “meta vibration” has been a curse, having a severe impact on my life, but is connected to more than just my birthday, which had the effect of tying me to the Hanged Man card; my name, which dehumanized me, due to my initials spelling the name of an animal (C.A.T.); and my adoptive mother, who, despite the fact that she never invested any time or love in me to speak of, always berated me and compared me to others in a negative way. These things had what is called a “butterfly effect” (a concept from chaos theory) in my life, hence the image to the right, from

Monarch Butterfly Cat

Monarch Butterfly Cat from http://www.tigerpixie.com

http://www.tigerpixie.com. There was definitely a purpose behind this curse. I cannot help but wonder if this Tarot curse is a way of artificially handicapping a select group of people, somewhat like what is described in the Kurt Vonnegut short story entitled, “Harrison Bergeron”, but in a metaphysical, rather than physical, way? Could I have been involved in the so-called “Monarch Program”? It is a hard truth to avoid, given that I have implants in front of each ear (photos below), and my whole life seems to have been orchestrated. I have found one other person born on my birthdate, who has also said he felt like his whole life was cursed. What must be noted is the effect of “self-fulfilling prophecies” on a person’s life. For example, when I was in the first grade, I scored in the top 2% of my class for IQ, but my mother gave me so much negative reinforcement when I was growing up, that I was lucky to graduate with a C average and a very low self-esteem, thus resulting in a self-fulfilling prophecy. Is it a coincidence that my mother’s maiden name was such that it became “Nay Gaeta” once she got married, and had a “negator” effect on my life? I mean, how many times can you call your child stupid before it begins to take a toll on your child’s IQ, which has already been artificially handicapped by what is illustrated in the below paragraph.

Reversed Polarity:

The following is an example of one way that this curse manifested itself in my life: When I learned how to write, I was made to be right-handed, against my, God-given, natural, inclination to be left-handed. I was a good kid, so when the girl teaching me how to write told that being left-handed was evil, I endeavored to be right-handed, in an effort to make sure I would not end up being evil. Studies in stroke victims have shown that a stroke in the left hemisphere of the brain affects something on the right side of the body, which in turn, shows how one hemisphere of the brain generally controls the opposite side of the body. Having me write against my God-given, natural tendency reversed my polarity, so to speak. This is evident in the fact that I was originally a very positive and loving child, but ended up as a negative punk by my teenage years. I have known several people who were allowed to keep their natural left-handedness, and I found them to have more tenacity, will power, and perseverance, which are gifts that I have found lacking in myself and others that I have met who were naturally left-handed, but were made to learn to write with the right hand. In fact, the people I know who, like me, were originally left handed forced to be right handed, have all the creative tendencies of most lefties, but have blocks that keep them from being able to express their creativity. My being a “lefty turned righty” is a manifestation of the reverse effect of the 12th trump, and it had a negative impact on my life.

I believe this forced change, against ones natural tendency to be left-handed, could have far-reaching implications, which have not truly been studied, to my knowledge. I believe it could possibly alter one’s destiny, and cause someone, who is originally a naturally positive person, to become a very negative one. Since it would obviously take some time for this effect to work on the mind of the child, they would never know why they became so negative, and would wind up blaming themselves for their feelings, thoughts, and behavior, but had they been allowed to retain their natural left-handedness, their life might have ended up quite differently.  Taken in combination with what I mentioned earlier, regarding a negative upbringing, it could have disastrous consequences on the development of an individual. This concept doesn’t even take the archetypal memes from the Tarot into account. I see this as a result of my own experiences and observations. Could it really be that difficult a concept to grasp? Did I not take the same psychology classes in school as my peers did? Did I not see the same studies about strokes and the brain that others have?

Perhaps my theory about left-handed people made to be right seems far-fetched. However, I think that the fact that a stroke in the left hemisphere of the brain affects something on the right side of the body is enough to warrant some sort of serious investigation into the subject. Even if only taken on a subliminal and metaphoric level, one has to consider that making someone be right-handed against one’s natural left-handed inclination would be, symbolically and literally, taking someone out of their “right mind”.

Archetypes and the Meta Effect:

I had lived most of my life, lacking any knowledge of archetypes, symbolism, astrology, the Tarot, metaphysics, etc., yet these things still had a huge impact, effecting various events in my life, including, but not limited to: the way my own adoptive mother treated me, the way doctors treated me, the way friends and relatives treated me, and the way employers treated me, despite the fact that I was usually the best producer at my jobs. I always assumed that my negativity was the result of a lack of parenting, or me missing my father’s presence in my life. While those circumstances certainly contributed to my emotional problems, I can see how the archetypes installed in the Tarot had their metaphysical effect, not only on me, but also on my adoptive mother, due to her birthdate being 4/4. I believe it is the double digit birthdates that are the most influenced by the Tarot because they are what I would call “meta” birthdays, and are the most influenced by the trump cards. I use the term “meta” relating to the metaphysical, which means, “beyond the physical”.  For example, I would be a “meta-twelve”, and my mother would be a “meta-four”, no pun implied, although metaphorically, her life followed patterns in the 4th trump of the Thoth tarot deck too closely for it to be a mere coincidence, which is why I don’t blame her. I have noticed that those born closest to or on those double digit dates have lives closely reflected in the trumps of the tarot, but also in their corresponding court cards.

The Catholic Church and the Rosy Cross:

12th Trump from The Hermetic TarotThe image on the left is from the Hermetic Tarot. It also shows the upside-down ankh, and the serpent above (or below) the head of the figure. On the left of this card is an image of the Rosicrucian Cross, which is very similar to the image on the back of the Thoth deck. Given the word Rosicrucian means “Rosy Cross”, and their affiliation with the Catholic Church, it does not surprise me that, as stranger actually yelled out to me in the street in 2009, that I could’ve been sold into slavery. I believe that is very possible I was sold via my adoption though Catholic Charities, just to be made into a ritual sacrifice. While I cannot blame Catholic Charities directly, it becomes hard for me to deny that such a thing could’ve happened to me, especially when you realize that many people sell their children into experimental programs, and many agencies have been caught in child trafficking. In this card, from the Hermetic Tarot, is the trident symbol for Neptune, which is usually associated with the devil. Since my astrological planet is Jupiter, the fact that there is a symbol for Neptune in the 12th trump of this deck, tells me that someone purposely put the energy of Neptune near the already upside-down figure. The fact that I had a near drowning at 3 years old, and that many ritual abuse and monarch program victims experience a near drowning at that exact age, tells me that it is no stretch of the imagination to consider that I am the victim of ritual abuse, chosen precisely because of my birthdate, in connection with the various occurrences of that number in our culture, in the Bible, and in the Tarot. It is my understanding that the ritual drowning at 3 years old is done to open the child up to spirits and demons. There are over 1,000 Tarot decks in existence today, with untold printings of each deck.  In terms of quantum mechanics, the sheer number of those cards, with that upside-down vibration, would amplify the energy of that vibration, possibly affecting anyone born on this date, even if intent wasn’t involved. However, if someone intentionally used occult magic to tie an unwitting victim to specific cards and/or decks of the Tarot, while keeping the victim unaware of it, except on a subconscious level, the victim would inadvertantly attract negativity, never understanding the reason. They would always feel like something was terribly wrong in life, never really being able to pin point why. I cannot avoid the reality about the state of our world, regarding how natural resources are stolen from one country by another, and how corporations steal ideas and harm people, it is not too far of a jump to imagine someone using occult magic on a person, in order to cause a state of misery, thereby generating compelling and creative ideas in the subconscious to be gleaned from the victim and channeled to certain supported people in the music, television, and movie industries. It fits right in with the way so many very wealthy people have attained their wealth by profiting from other people’s suffering. If I had never seen these cards until my late thirties, how did they have such a strong impact on my personal life? Could it have something to do with Chaos Theory, Quantum Mechanics, and/or the Collective Subconscious?

The Fool:

If a person born on 1/1 has the attributes of the Magi card, a person born on 12/12 has the attributes of the Hanged Man card (renamed “The Dying God” in the Thoth deck), and a person born on 4/4 has the attributes of The Fool Card from the Thoth Tarotthe Emperor, then what birthdate comes closest to representing the Fool, whose number is 0? Could the 12/12, being the highest meta-birthdate on the current calendar, also be the fool? Could the vibration of the Fool card also manifest itself in the person born on 1/1, being the next meta-birthdate after the 12/12? What is odd to me is that many of the items displayed on this card apply to various issues in my life. In this image, I see the following items: the dove, which is supposed to mean “peace”, which is what I was trying to achieve; the horns, representing the implants in my head; the monarch butterfly, which should be obvious to he read, as it represents the Monarch program of mind control; the bluebird, representing the Bluebird mind control project and/or project Bluebeam; the sun right at the crotch, representing the burning/electrocution sensations in that area I suffer from; the DNA/lizard/winged disk, which has to do with everything I had been learning about, including that darned tattoo on my back; the character holding the crystal because I used to study crystals and work with them for energy healing; also holding the wheat, representing when I was learning about herbs ad their medicinal value; the bag of runes, which I had just begun to learn about; the gator at bottom, representing my mother whose maiden name was Gaeta; the grapes, representing either grapes of wrath or wine or both; the Tiger biting the leg, which is really strange because I have sensations on the left leg, as if something is biting or pinching me there; the flowers I don’t want to discuss; the two babies at the bottom represent two people enjoying the results of the pain I am suffering from, which from what I understand, are freemasons who have what is called “full access to the seether”, thus making me “the seether”. Those two babies are babies because they refuse to see the truth of how they are accessing their inspiration.

The OTO, the Cabbala, and the Rosy Cross:

Back of the cards from the Thoth Tarot deckWhen I lost everything, I was just beginning to really make an effort to make a positive change in my life. Knowing that I had serious, but subconscious issues in my life, I had to look inside myself to uncover what went wrong in my life, so that I could try to correct myself, not knowing about the curse I had been living under. Not satisfied with the way I was raised, I was determined to be better to my daughter, than my mother had the ability to be to me. It seems cruelly ironic that my whole life fell completely apart when, and the way, it did. It happened at a point when I first began to learn, apophatically, how I wanted to raise my own child, and it also happened right at the point that I began to have memories surface of the way I was mistreated. So that, when I made a conscious effort to become a better mother, my child was taken away from me, as if some force did not want me to change the negative pattern that had been set into motion long before I was even born. It seems like there has always been some force in my life, making sure that  would never have a fair shot in  life, tying me to this particular deck of cards, which sadly enough have the Rosicrucian Cross on the back of each card. To me, it seems obvious why the left arm of the cross is blue, and the right is red. Taken on a political level, the connotation is obvious. Taken on a verbal level, well, that connotation is obvious as well.

Here is a photo of the actual Rosicrucian Cross, which represents the struggle I am currently going through. Rosicrucian CrossWhile it obviously has some Christian symbolism behind it, I can see a Cabbalistic influence in the bottom, by the colors, as related to Malkuth. At the risk of sounding a bit vulgar, I must mention this in current terms, i.e. the word mal meaning:  Both crosses show blue on the left (right to the viewer), and red on the right, implying that red is “right”, and blue is “wrong”. So while the OTO, to which Crowley belonged, has the bottom of the cross as navy in color, the RC cross shows the same area as green, brown, olive, and black, which are the colors of the lowest sphere, kingdom, in the cabbala, which is Malkuth. Consider that name, and what the first syllable “mal” which carries a negative meaning (“bad, wrongful, or ill” from http://dictionary.reference.com) in almost every word in which it is the root, at least in the English language, which is the most accepted, language spoken, in most countries. Incidentally, one of the spheres of the Kabbalistic Tree is called “Chokmah”, which phonetically denotes a malefic intent, as in “choking ma”. What I think people don’t understand is the phonetic symbolism involved in mind control, in addition to symbolism. I remember an author, M. Tsarion, speaking of the group called the Atonists in relation to the number 10, which makes me think of how the Kabbalah shows the kingdom, Malkuth, as the 10th sphere (connotating that the atonists are ruling the so-called “kingdom”, a scary thought indeed); however it is still at the bottom. In the Cabalistic Tree there are either ten or eleven spheres. They often omit the 11th sphere, called Da’ath, which is connected to Knowledge. I have to wonder if they, like those who instigated the event on 9/11 which destroyed the twin towers in NY, as well as tower 7 (a number associated with God and luck), were involved in this, specifically because they do not want justice (the traditional 11th trump of the tarot) or knowledge to exist in our world. Considering how I have become targeted, I have to wonder if everyone involved in my targeting also feels Cabalistic Tree of Lifethis way- like they want no justice. The 11th sphere in the Cabalistic Tree of Life represents knowledge. Perhaps those targeting me, those involved in my smear campaign, do not want either knowledge (truth) or justice to prevail.

Missing God:

I had been missing God in my life, as well as my parents, and I had become a rather negative and dark teenager, which I believe, opened me up to something very negative. Because of my parent’s behavior, which contradicted the tenets of the bible, I grew up very confused about God. We went to church, but only until my parent’s divorce when I was 8 or 9 years old. Throughout my childhood, my parents were rarely around, leaving me in the care of various nannies, while my parents were still married, and left alone after their divorce, making me easily influenced by others, especially men. Untrusting of the Bible in general, due to its treatment of women, I had an overall, mistrust of religion. My state of misery in life led me to believe that perhaps God hated me and cursed me himself. After learning about the Tarot, specifically the 12th trump, and its uncanny connection to my life, which has been metaphorically upside-down, events and situations in my life began to make sense. I no longer believe that God has cursed me, and in fact, might’ve tried to protect me via the Bible, with the commandment regarding, “Graven Images”. It seemed to me like this had been done to me on purpose, to make me some sort of a sacrifice, because of what this curse eventually led me to do.

MK Ultra and the Serpent in the Tarot:

Ironically, when I consider my situation, I am reminded of a couple of songs by the band, aptly named “Muse”. These songs are “MK Ultra”, which describes a specific mind control program, and “Unnatural Selection”, because it seems like I was selected at birth, via a catholic adoption, so that my whole life could be engineered to keep me down, upside-down, and unconscious, unnaturally, so that some others could benefit from the emotional turmoil generated by such a state. I was being mentally and emotionally drained for real, meanwhile, I would see others being gifted with my own thoughts and feelings, and would watch them profit from my Hanged Man card from Ludovica Tarotsuffering. The image to the right, while not from a deck, is a painting done by Ludovica Wing Shuen Price, which seems to illustrate what I have been going through. Her work can be found here: http://www.elfwood.com/art/l/u/ludovica/the_hanged_man.jpg.html. Again, we see an upside-down ankh, the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility. The serpent, connected to the head of the Hanged Man card (the 12th trump) in at least 2 tarot decks, seems to have allowed either the serpent class, or Satan himself, to have direct access to my subconscious mind, on a metaphysical level. The fact that I have seen so many movies and television (tell-a-vision) shows, and have heard so many songs that have an uncanny relation to aspects of my life, tells me that this could very well be the case, regardless of how bizarre this may seem. While I love the music and the movies that show some of my own story (because it’s never the whole story), it still makes me angry to have been stolen from in this metaphysical way. So much has been stolen from me, that no monetary award could ever pay it back, although it sure would help.

It seems to me that Crowley and Harris, the creators of the Thoth tarot deck, and those who followed some of their patterns, were the cause of what could be a type of metaphysical slavery, caused by chaos magic, whereby the serpent (or serpent class), who is placed at the head of the victim in the 12th trump, has unauthorized access to all creative ideas and inspiration, brought about by the upside-down condition of the victim in this card, to be used and changed anyway the serpent/thief sees fit (through music, movies, and/or television), to make it less obvious to the victim that it represents some aspect of his or her life. Given what people now know about the amplification of a vibration, is it any wonder that someone born on 12/12 would have issues? What is worse is the fact that my numerology has me as an 11, which is supposed to be a so-called “master” number, but if your birthdate is 12/12 (which pushes the upside-down or reversed position), it becomes a bad combination. In the Tarot, the 11th trump was normally the “Justice” card, but in the Thoth deck it was changed to “Lust”. While I cannot point to the reason that I have been so closely tied to the Thoth deck, it seems to have had its impact on my life as well as my mother’s (4/4).

Metaphysical Rape Plus Implants Equals Scapegoat:

What is mentioned in the above paragraph, if even remotely applicable, is tantamount to what could be called “mind rape”, and is what I refer to as a “Meta Crime”. Yet, it is not the worst result of the precarious situation in which I was placed, at my birth and without my knowledge. The most disturbing effect of the circumstances of my life is that my turmoil eventually led me to do exactly what mind control, via programming and occult magic, had set me up to do. Before I continue, I must mention that I have discovered what I can only believe are possibly RFID implants (images below), one in front of each ear, because I am now hearing voices and receiving some sort of energetic vibrations through them. Is it possible that these two nodules in front of each ear helped to push me over the edge, by being conduits for subliminal messages, influencing my mind during my sleep? Was it not enough that I was living under this curse my whole life? It is a miracle that I didn’t end up much worse than I did. I say this at a time when, while there are actual murderers and rapists running free, private people who aren’t breaking any laws are now being electronically harassed and targeted by directed energy weapons. In this way, 2012 is turning out to be an upside-down year indeed. Below are photos of my RFID implants, which possibly helped to put me in the miserable situation I now find myself in today. Since I have discovered these implants, I have become a target of the most hideous nightmare, making me wonder if I was some unwitting participant in a government mind control program, whereby they were used to input subliminal messages into my mind during my sleep, possibly triggering me to do things that I wouldn’t have done, had I not been mind controlled.

Implant not shown until I pull back on my earImplant with circle to indicate locationImplant on left side with circle to indicate location

As you can see from the first two images, these implants cannot be seen until I lightly pull back on my ear. Voices coming through these implants tell me that I am a demon or the devil himself, saying that these things are horns. Well, if anything, I was made a scapegoat at birth, sold into slavery via a Catholic adoption, implanted, so that some nefarious force could then manipulate me into being emotionally damaged, and get those around me to believe that I am something I’m not: evil. I have had a professional psychologist try to tell me these things in my ears are keloids, but keloids are scars that are raised above the skin. Here is a photo to prove my point. Keloid Example

If they are implants, when were they implanted? If they aren’t implants, then what are they? I have heard voices coming through them since 2008, however, I have no idea of how long they have been there, and so they may have been influencing me on a subliminal level my whole life. Since I was held in custody of the agency for the first 6 weeks of my life, they may have been implanted very shortly after my birth. I was allowed to play in the woods by myself at the ages of 6 and 7, so I could have been abducted for the procedure during that time. It might have happened when I had my wisdom teeth removed when I was 17 years old, under a general anesthetic. However, it could have occurred much later, during a dental surgery in 2001 or during a cervical cone biopsy in 2004, both under general anesthetic. That being said, I believe I would have felt some pain in the area if they were put in at any time other than my birth. They say that babies don’t feel pain at birth. I believe this is a lie, and the truth is that babies feel pain and repress the memory of it. At any rate, it is very possible that I was under some form of post hypnotic suggestion when I made the gravest mistake of my life, for which I am continually begging God for forgiveness, on the grounds that I was not in my right mind when I did it.

My Gravest Mistake, Done While Searching for God:

What was the gravest mistake of my life? Dare I say it? I preface the admonition with the desire for the True and Just God to know everything behind such a rash decision: the fact that I felt so separated from God throughout my life; the fact that I had previously undergone certain traumas which had been repressed in my memory, but obviously had the effect of torturing my mind on the subconscious level; the fact that I was living under an occult curse my whole life; the fact that I was held in custody of Catholic Charities for the first 6 weeks of my life, causing attachment disorder; the fact that my God-given natural left-handedness was taken away from me; the fact that I never had any stable caregivers in my youth; the fact that I spent the second half of my childhood in a virtual “house of mirrors”; the fact that I was suffering from an attachment disorder caused by my adoption and the lack of parental influence; the fact that my own mother had me selling hotdogs at construction sites in a bikini, when I was 14 years old; the fact that I was raped when I was 16 years old by a man who was 21; the fact that my mother allowed me to be prosecuted for a crime I didn’t commit when I was 17; the fact that I had been mistreated by authorities and medical professionals throughout my life; the fact that I was implanted without my knowledge or consent; and the fact that I was overburdened with too many responsibilities, in an unaffordable and chaotic house after my daughter was born, which is when it happened… all of these things had an influence on causing me to make a huge mistake in my life, that would change everything. I bring these things to the surface in an effort to prove to God why I deserve forgiveness.

Of course, there are other variables involved in my decision. I was involved in an online spiritual group, which I now see was not quite that spiritual. I joined the group because I had been learning about Reiki and other energy healing modalities. It was called “Wingmakers for Humanity/Masters of the Shamballa 1024” (which is no longer active), and the leader, named June, was some sort of spiritual predator, who, after I had been in the group for about a year, posted that she was altering people’s merkabas and using a technique known as “mind-bending”. At one point, she even said she was “harvesting souls”, which is downright evil. Since then, I have heard of an online group known as “Freedom from Mindbenders”, which is now also no longer active (at my last check), which concerns me. I have to note here, that almost every female in that group was suffering from some sort of chronic pain. While in her group, this woman was sensitizing people to programming in movies, said she was doing energy work on people like Hillary Clinton (when she was running for president), and was encouraging members of the group to judge people for their behavior.

I had been searching for God, and reading all these things on the internet about how Enki was this Sumerian deity who loved human beings and wanted to help us. I had read an abundance of information, which convinced me, in my chaotic state, that the name “Satan” was a name given to the true God, by the false religion of Christianity, which has the history of The Crusades, in which people were tortured and murdered for their beliefs. I had also read about a location in the Middle East that was actually called “Satan”. Given that my whole life had been engineered by some very nefarious forces, to be aligned with the Thoth tarot without my knowledge, I was confused and easily misled. I signed a contract with this entity, believing that he would help human beings, including myself, to reach a connection with God. It seems to me that knowledge was kept from me my whole life by cursing me in this way, so they could later get me to sell myself out, by using symbolic and predictive programming, knowing that I would be seeking out the God I felt I had been missing my whole life.

I believe that none of this would have happened, had I not been so metaphysically tied to that tarot deck, and had I not been implanted with RFID chips in my ears, allowing for subliminal messaging. There are too many images in that deck that relate to my life in very specific ways for it to have been an accident. This is why I feel it was an occult curse put on me, as a newborn. Considering the fact that there is a serpent at the head of the figure on the 12th trump, tells me that someone knowingly allowed Satan to influence me throughout my life, without my knowledge.  I have been told that Satan cannot “steal” souls, but this is certainly what has happened in my case. This is why I am appealing to the True and Just God of the Universe, the one who loves truth, to see every one of the circumstances in my life that led me down the negative path, and to allow me into heaven, or at the very least, to not allow me to go to hell.

My Mother, The Emperor:

The Emperor card from the Thoth TarotMy mother was born on 4/4, and her birthdate tied her to the 4th trump of the Thoth deck, specifically. This image of the 4th trump shows various people in her life, symbolized by the figures surrounding the main figure, who is “The Emperor”. The two rams behind the figure represent the two Aries in my mother’s life, who supported her. My grandmother died and is shown in the transparent ram, while my father was still alive when my mother died, and is shown by the more opaque ram. The two, eight-point stars on either side of the emperor figure represent my brother and my cousin, both born on 8/4. The lamb at her feet must represent me, because I supported certain causes, such as the baby harp seals, and the environment when I was young, and this is shown by the flag. The ball in the emperor’s hand is represented in my mother’s life by the fact that she was an avid, trophy-winning bowler. This is a powerful figure, and my mother had power in her life, seemingly attracting whatever she needed. Near the end of her life, she was driving a Cadillac, bought for her by an ex-boyfriend. In this card, she is looking away from me, and I am on the floor, at her feet, symbolic of how she always put me down, even as a small child, but never invested much time in me, to help me grow up to become someone she could be proud of. Is it a coincidence that the figure on the 12th trump has their legs folded in the position of the number four? Is the poor victim in the 12th trump trying to tell people that the Emperor is responsible? If my mother never saw these cards, or was not an adept in the occult, how did they have such an exacting impact on her life? Could it have something to do with the sheer number of these decks in print, in relation to the collective consciousness?

The Devil was Screwing Me (Pardon my French):

The following is another example of how this Tarot curse manifested in my life: I was an aspiring artist, who had enough talent to be given an art scholarship by the instructors at the school I was attending. Given the fact thatOne of Three Magi Cards from Thoth Tarot my initials spell CAT, I find it cruelly ironic that my career and my life were destroyed by a fellow student with the last name of “Skinner”, when she introduced me to a drug called heroin. I would eventually see her steal my ideas, and use them for her own advancement. Additionally strange is how this person, who helped to destroy my career, looks suspiciously like the person on one of the three Magi cards of the Thoth deck. The card I am speaking of, to the right, is the one with a woman standing behind an image of a winged disk, so that it is directly in front of her crotch. The winged disk looks suspiciously like a tattoo I have on my back, which alludes to the fact that this woman “screwed” me. When I got the tattoo done, I had not yet been aware of the winged disk or its connection to Egyptian or Sumerian lore. Was I mind controlled into getting that tattoo, so that it could be used against me later?

The Devil card from the Thoth TarotWith that in mind, and the way the 12th trump of the same deck has the serpent connected to the head of a victim, please take a look at the next image with the consideration of an intended satanic influence over a victim’s mind. This image is the 15th trump of the Thoth deck, which is called “The Devil” card. To the left of this card is a shadow that strangely reminds me of the Millenium Falcon in the Star Wars movies, and to the right, is a shadow that reminds me of a pose I have seen of Kate Bush, wherein she is perched upon something in just such a position. The winged disk, which looks suspiciously like to my tattoo, is directly in front of the devil character. Regardless of the meanings of these cards in a personal Tarot reading, each time someone sees these cards, as with any image or symbol, the deeper, metaphysical meaning of it is subconsciously inserted into the mind. This is what might have happened to James Holmes when he saw the Lil Wayne Video of his song appropriately called, “My Homies” (photo at top of document). This concept then begs the question: “Is it possible that every time someone views these cards, they also go into the collective subconscious, along with their intended subversive meaning, created by an occult theocracy?”

Abandoned, and The Trauma Begins:

Things had been looking up in 2008, or so I thought. After a lifetime of disappointments, including the loss of my art career, I was finally finding my niche, or so I thought. I was writing articles for a company that sold crystals on the internet, a job which I truly loved, even though I wasn’t paid what most article writers were getting at the time. While most people writing articles on the internet were getting up to $700.00 per article, I was lucky to get, at most, $60.00. Still, I loved and appreciated my job very much, and it allowed me to stay home with my daughter, who was around 2 years old when I started that job.

In less than two years, everything came crashing down, and I found myself living in a foreclosed house, with no power or water, in acute and constant physical pain. The cause of this was the fact that in 2008, I began to hear voices that told me I was a kind of “Virgin Mary” and that I would receive an immaculate conception from God (funny how I played the Virgin Mary in a school Christmas pageant when I was around 7 years old). I know it sounds crazy, but given those photos of the implants in my head, it doesn’t seem so crazy anymore. At one point, I actually could feel something inside of me, making me believe it had actually happened, but was told that an archangel did it to me. Was I programmed by the Catholic religion, when I was too young to remember, for this to happen to me later in life? Like a fool, I began to tell certain people that I thought it was really happening. Of course they all thought I was crazy. The voice told me that it would come and get me, but that eventually, we would all get together again, with our correct soul-mates. My packing my things in preparation for this was what pushed Jerome over the edge and made him have me Baker Acted. I found myself in a state-run mental facility. I felt like my mind was falling apart. Jerome would try to have me locked up three times, which would then cost me my job.

My psychosis was artificially induced by these voices through the implants. Later, after being abandoned in that house, the voice would then convince me that I was some kind of Jesus and had to be sacrificed. Then they would tell me I was an angel. All of that reminds me now of a band called “Jesus and the Mary Chain”. When that was happening, I was not yet aware of the occult curse, under which I had been living, and how it caused me to make the gravest mistake of my life. Once Jerome left, the house went into foreclosure, the power and water eventually were shut off. I was then only able to see my daughter once a month.

As I lived in that house, with no power or water, for at least 2.5 years beginning at the end of 2008, I was suffering the worst pain of my life. During the first 3 months of it, I was literally on the floor screaming. The pain started in September, and in October, I went to a neighbor’s house to call an ambulance. It was at this point, when I began to notice how people in the medical profession were mistreating me, and had been, even when I was younger. Apparently, I had sublimated those memories, because I didn’t want to believe that my whole life had been orchestrated in this way. In the emergency room, that day, I was told that, although I didn’t have a venereal disease, they were going to treat it like one and send me home.

At that time, I was going to a clinic, to try to get some help. I was in solid pain, and in order to get rides, I had to kiss one of my neighbors, which was debasing. Sometimes, marijuana would help my pain, but the only way I could get some was to kiss a neighbor. Currently, I am not on any type of pain relievers and refuse to do anything illegal, despite my severe and constant pain.

While I was living in the foreclosed house, I had to collect rain water in storage bins, to keep myself relatively clean. I could only eat items that did not need to be refrigerated, and kept a few things that were refrigerated at neighbor’s houses. When I did cook, I had to use a gutted toaster oven, with the pan or pot on top, and a fire of newspaper and tree limbs inside the gutted part. In the hottest weather, I had to wear only bra and underwear with windows wide open to ward off heat exhaustion. Who knows who might’ve been peering in those windows. In the coldest weather, I had to sleep with at least twenty candles burning, to keep from freezing. I inhaled allot of smoke during those times, and suffered a great deal of trauma, including the event where I was terrorized by a helicopter for a solid half an hour in the middle of the night. I would collect decent items that were being thrown out to sell at garage sales to make a few bucks to survive off of. Once in a while, on the coldest nights, a neighbor would let me stay on his couch, but only if I kissed him, which was humiliating and added to the traumatic effect of the whole experience.

It was during this time that I was hearing voices, making me believe that God was talking to me. I was so miserable at that time because I felt abandoned by everyone. My own mother wouldn’t let me come and stay with her. I am not blaming her, because I know people thought I was crazy. I heard a voice tell me to purchase the Thoth Tarot, which I did after some garage sales to work up the money. When I began to look at those archetypes, I realized that my whole life seemed cursed by them. As I mentioned above, it is as if all those decks, with their archetypal memes being digested by all those people, further infected the collective unconscious and intensified the Hanged Man’s deleterious effect on me in the more recent years. I see this as one of the biggest reasons why the Bible states “No Graven Images”: Because these graven images become archetypes, which then engraved onto the collective unconscious, and effectively destroy (or at least hinder) many people’s freewill. Unfortunately, most people do not read the commandment that way.

It was also during that time when I felt like something was etherically raping me. It seemed to do something to my mind. The voice told me it loved me and would come to rescue me soon. I don’t know if I was being poisoned, if the implants were working on my subconscious mind during my sleep and my conscious mind when I was awake, or how they were able to mess my head up so much, but they did. Every day while I was living in absolute poverty with hardly any money to my name, I would hear the voice of someone I truly admired saying they were coming to rescue me. It was always, “I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise”, or “I’m coming tonight, don’t worry”, but the rescuer never showed, and I felt more and more like committing suicide, but knew that I couldn’t. So it seems in my case, mind control had been done on me using both the occult and technology.

I Hope God Loves the Truth:

Given what has happened and what is still happening to me, I feel I am being attacked by demonic entities, yet part of me thinks that this isn’t about God, religion, demons, or about anything spiritual. I say this because the Bible speaks of God loving the Truth. If this were true, then I would not be suffering in this way right now. If God really does love the truth, then that being would not allow me to suffer eternally because of what some very cruel and adept people designed, using the tarot. It is very possible that the conspiracy theorists are correct in that there is a certain portion of the population that is being culled, sold at birth, often through adoption, as sacrifices to some very nefarious beings out there. By putting implants in our heads, they could easily influence us throughout our sad lives, on a subliminal level, during our sleep, so that we would never have any tangible proof of the fact that we have been victims of some very evil program. We were selected at birth, to be cursed and mistreated, so that we would eventually become negative, so that certain people could then justify writing us off later on, handing our names over to those they call “gang-stalkers”. I have come to this conclusion after being in contact with several individuals, who have been suffering just as I have, who have spoken about their parents, being overheard having meetings with some people who then argued about said child, behind closed doors. I personally am aware that my adoptive father had some secretive dealings, in which he would turn off the dome light in the vehicle, before opening the door to get out for a meeting with someone, which tells me this might be the case for me as well. This tells me that the so-called game was always fixed, and that certain people were allowed to reap benefits from those of us who were suffering at the hands of the occult theocracy, which used occult, metaphysical strategies, in addition to orchestrating circumstances in the victim’s life, such as, dealing with authorities and doctors.

In my case, my interactions with authorities included a record from my life that was supposed to have been expunged, since I had met all the requirements in order to do so, yet years later, I found that it had not been expunged. Regarding doctors, I remember seeing a doctor who gave me a pelvic exam for stomach problems, and then left the speculum in for 45 minutes, while he left the exam room. More recently, I went to the emergency room for severe pelvic pain, and they recorded “belly pain”.

Pope with Upsidedown Cross

Beginning to notice a pattern here?

The Vatican denies there is any negative intent involved in the use of this upside-down symbol (of course), by saying it represents the crucifixion of St. Peter, however, it is my contention that the use of this symbol in this position, which is seen by millions of people who visit the pope, exemplifies and amplifies the upside-down nature of religion in general, but especially when it is an organization so involved in child-trafficking as the Catholic Church is. Being adopted through a Catholic agency, and knowing how the Catholic church has been indicted recently for child-trafficking, I cannot ignore the possibility that I was indeed sold into slavery to be some part of a very nasty plan, designed to keep certain people from having any true freewill, which means that the contract I signed was not done of my freewill, and therefore, I cannot legally or spiritually, be held liable. The ends do not justify the means, in my opinion, and it goes against God’s will and/or natural law, in that human beings are supposed to have freewill, a quality that I was never truly given.

There are those in this world who speak of “Christ consciousness”. What happens when one tries to embody such a thing? While much of my life was lived negatively, as a result of this whole upside-down vibration enforced upon me with intent, when I did truly try to embody this thing called “Christ consciousness”, something, some energy came in, as if to try to stop me from being the good I so wanted to be.

Double Bind – Double Cross:

There is something common in mind control programming called a “double-bind”. From Dictionary.com: “Psychology- it is a situation in which a person is given conflicting cues, especially by a parent, such that to obey one cue is to disobey the other.” From www.laingsociety.org: “A second variation of the double bind involves a situation in which a person is chastised for a correct perception of the outside world. In this situation the child will learn to distrust his own sensory awareness in favor of the parent’s assessment of the situation. One example would be the child who is raised in a violent household but is expected to see his parents as loving and peaceful. In later life this person will have a difficult time determining how to behave appropriately in a variety of situations. Indeed, this person will spend an inordinate amount of energy trying to decipher exactly how he “should” interpret the situation.”

For more information on how symbolism has been used to destroy lives, please see Michael Tsarion’s video entitled, “The Subversive Use of Sacred Symbolism”. Then please notice how the person delivering the lecture is wearing a double cross, and what that might mean. In this lecture, he states that studying the tarot can both help and harm people. By studying what are truly graven images, these people are amplifying an energy that sacrifices people who do not deserve to be sacrificed. They may not even realize what is happening, for all I know. Keep in mind, that while I greatly admire his work on one hand, I now have a deep mistrust of those with any amount of authority, even if only on an intellectual level.

Life on Life’s Terms Without Freewill:

I would add to this, that there is a fundamental double-bind problem in the Bible, for any Christians who think that believing in Jesus as the “son of God” will save them. The Torah has set rules for living, including ritual blood sacrifice. Christians believe that Jesus was the last blood sacrifice, and there is no need for the practice anymore. Therefore, the person who is being triggered constantly by monarch-type programming, to believe that they are a ritual sacrifice, might feel that the way things are set up is unfair, and that they have not been granted freewill. This feeling will be called blasphemy by those involved in gang-stalking or using electronic harassment against the victim, using the bible as the standard. The victim of a set-up, such as the 12th trump could have never truly had freewill because their whole life has been upside-down, making it impossible for them to “live life on life’s terms” so-to-speak, because life’s terms have been completely skewed for them, which makes this a DOUBLE-BIND. Having a person metaphorically and metaphysically upside-down, allowing the serpent to drain them of the fruits of their labor (being attached to their head), is slavery on a level unknown to those who are not adept in the occult.

The Tarot, with the 12th trump, also advocates such a thing, especially in the Thoth, and Hermetic decks, where there is a serpent (representing the serpent class), sucking all creativity and inspiration out of the head of the upside-down person, which ends up in multiple songs, T.V. shows, movies, in various forms.

In the Thoth deck, the 12th trump is also called “The Dying God”. Does this show a Neitzche-esque negative and subversive occult intent?

For more information on the use of symbolism in mind control, please see Michael Tsarion’s video on the subject, with discerning eyes. While he brings attention to a serious subject, I differ from his point of view High Priestess Card from the Rider-Waite Tarotregarding
a few things, the most notable being A) the Egyptian hieroglyph for female is
most certainly not an image of a serpent (which is what I have seen him say in
one of his lectures, rather it is an image of a female, sitting down; and B)
the tarot could not have influenced the Torah, since the tarot has only been
around since the 1600s at the earliest, and the Torah is believed to have been
written around 1450 BCE. The image to the right is the High Priestess card from the Rider-Waite deck, which was first published in 1901. That being said, the video, “The Subversive Use of Sacred Symbolism”, which can be found on YouTube, is packed with information about symbolism, which is how I first became aware of the symbolic aspect of Mind Control.  As a result of the so-called “sacred” symbolism of the Tarot, I have found that my life lacked any true freewill. I have to ask myself the following question: Did the amplified vibration of the Tarot, due to so many printings of these graven images, in relation to my birthday and my numerology cause me to become reversed from my natural tendencies, even as a child (i.e. lefty turned right)? It certainly had an effect on my mother. At the risk of being labeled by those who support astrology and Tarot, it seems to me that, for anyone to truly have freewill, we would have to abolish both the Tarot as well as the astrological signs as applied to birthdates, to avoid the unnatural archetypal transference that seems to infect many. While they may indeed be interesting works of art, I have seen how they had negative effects on me as well as others. Looking back on my own life, I know that I created some very angry and therefore ugly art, possibly as a direct result of being metaphorically upside-down. So, as a result of the graven images that affected me, I also created graven images, for which I am truly sorry. An interesting side note here is that my original sign would have been Ophiuchus, which is a very strong sign, and had it not been removed from the zodiac, I might have had more of a chance against this curse.

Ophiuchus: The MIssing Constellation

A Remedy, Anyone?:

So what is the remedy for such a thing? I have read numerous articles stating that freewill is an illusion. In my case, this certainly seems true. I have been suffering as a result of my lacking any true freewill, due to the graven images of the Tarot. If there is no freewill, then a reasonable, true, and just God would not hold the victim of such a curse responsible for their reactions to this curse. In fact, I would venture to say that the reactions were involved in the agenda for creating the Tarot in the first place. Creating, and placing such importance on, these archetypes would seem to destroy freewill with pervasive memes. I would hope that in the end of it all, all would be forgiven, since no one, especially living in the years surrounding and including 2012, which have been affected by the negative memes resulting from possibly millions of printings of the 12th trump, the Hanged Man, or Dying God in the Thoth deck.

Despite the facts surrounding my adoption through a catholic agency and the fact that the Catholic Church has been indicted for child trafficking, I have so far been unable to get any help from so-called victims advocate groups online. There seems to be a great deal of money in making people into ritual sacrifices, because it seems like every official or representative has been bought off in some way, to keep people like me from getting any real help. I seem to be living in some sort of occult nightmare, in which those people, who are in positions to help people like me, do not care to do so.

By the way, this:

Ophiuchus: The MIssing Constellation

Is also this:

The Dying God

I welcome any suggestions for a remedy, given my situation. What I am suffering is not unlike what the hero is going through in the book called, “Tales of the Ubermensch”, which can be found here: http://www.talesoftheubermensch.com

For more detailed information on the symbolism of the Ankh, please see the following website: http://www.holoweb.net/~liam/pictures/ankh/ankh.html

For some really good information on the “double bind” concept, please see the following Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind

Tags: 12th trump, Hanged Man, Occult, Ritual Sacrifice, Decalogue, Lil Wayne, “My Homies”, Graven Images, Colorado Shooting Theatre, Batman Premiere Shooting, Symbolism, 2012, Meta, metaphysical, mind control, Ankh, Sacred Symbolism, “Subversive use of Sacred Symbolism”, metaphysical sabotage, metaphysical tyranny, muse, mu, sic, music is two words, English language and symbolism, Tarot, Satanism, Ritual Abuse, Satanic Ritual Abuse, metaphor, Spiritualism, Chaos Theory, Quantum Theory, Butterfly Effect, Crowley, Thoth, Rosicrucian, Hermetic, Ludovica, spiritual torture, Occult Magic, Occult Theocracy, Double-Bind, Metaphysical Rape, Mind Rape, Spiritual Rape

Born Into Slavery

Born Into Slavery

In 2009, I was told by a complete stranger on the street that I was “sold into slavery”. Given the events of my life, and the fact that I was adopted through a Catholic agency, it is not out of the realm of possibility. It did not take me much research to learn of the history Catholic organizations have with child trafficking, dating back in the 1960s, at least. I have been told that I was sold into slavery with the specific purpose of being a ritual sacrifice. There is no justification for what was done to me.  There may be more to be added to this document in the future, but I wanted to get it out before I die, or am imprisoned for some crime I haven’t committed. I fear this might be done in order to silence me. I have found myself to be a TI (Targeted Individual), but given the events in my life, I feel I have always been a target.

Before reading this, I would like you to have an answer to a common question I get from people who doubt what I am saying is true. I have had people ask me, “Why you?”, “Why would they pick you?”, and my favorite, “What makes you so special?”

Here is my answer: Why not me? I mean, if I am part of some experiment, does that question have any relevance at all? You might as well ask why Harry Harlow picked a particular monkey to be used in an experiment, or what made Dr. Jose Delgado use that particular cat for his experiment with brain stimulation? I was adopted & the records were sealed, so I

This is from an  experiment done in the early 1950s, where a cat was made to lift its hind leg in response to brain stimulation.

This is from an experiment done in the early 1950s, where a cat was made to lift its hind leg in response to brain stimulation.

don’t know if my birth mother was from some bloodline or not. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding my adoption. Just being adopted through a catholic agency puts one at risk for being stolen, which then puts one at risk for becoming an unwitting participant in a human experimentation program. Of course, I am not implying that all adoptees are victims of nonconsensual human experimentation, only that they are at a greater risk for it, since their records are often sealed.

I do not know how long these implants have been there. I believe it may have been done to me when I was a newborn, during the adoption process. I suspect this to be the case, since I was in a hospital for a period of time after my birth, & since I never had pain at the cites of the implants. They go all the way through the cartilage in each ear. I need to have a doctor look at them, perhaps with a CT, MRI, or PET scan, although I prefer to have at least one of them removed. Since I have lost my job and have no insurance, this is hard to do. It doesn’t seem like anyone is willing to truly help me with this. Here are the photos of them:

Implant Right SideImplant Left Side These are photos of my implants….

RFIDRiceFingersComparison This is an image I found at “lovingenergies.com, showing the size of RFID chips.

In 2008, I began to audibly hear what is being transmitted through these implants. I also found myself in near constant pain in my privates. The psychologist I saw, since I was made to appear delusional, tells me that I just have to live with the pain, but this is not really living. When I told her about the implants, which are very provable, she replied that they could be keloids, which are scars. This not possible, considering what keloids look like versus what I have on my ears. These are keloids:

Keloid Example

                           Example of Keloids

Keloids are ON the skin, while what I have is clearly UNDER the skin. I hear voices through the implants, and I also feel what can only be described as “impact sensations” through them. I had one person tell me that they were cutaneous horns, but those are also on the surface of the skin, not under it. Given the fact that I was adopted through a catholic agency, it is very possible that these implants have been with me my whole life, since the Catholic church certainly has more than one black mark on it’s record concerning it’s treatment of children.

When I discovered my implants in 2008, began to uncover my memories, and notice how orchestrated my life has been, I became a target for the worst kind of character assassination. I lost my job, my family, my world. I was abandoned in a foreclosed house, in which I lived with no power or water for almost 3 years. No one would help me, and the only way I could get a ride, or a warm place to stay during the coldest winter nights was if I allowed certain men to kiss and/or touch me.

I believe the implants in my head have been a major part of my problem throughout my life, & that, had I not been implanted, my life would have turned out very differently. A little research into the work of Dr.s Jose Delgado & Ewen Cameron (to name a couple), whose work in mind control goes as far back as the 1940s in some cases, will show that this is indeed possible. It is not only possible, but very likely, that these implants have been delivering subliminal messages throughout my life, or at least throughout their existence in my head. The proof is in the photos above. No one can say I am delusional regarding their existence or their placement in my head. I hear voices throughout them telling me I am a demon, or Satan himself, and that I am being killed & sent to hell. How’s that for a mind #@*!? I also hear high-pitched tones (on one side or the other-not ringing), and feel impact sensations, coming through these implants that I cannot seem to get a doctor to look at. Sometimes, the voices will tell me I am going to be framed for something, but I am a completely law-abiding citizen. Voices that were once subliminal are now broadcast 247 into my head to keep me in terror by calling me a criminal even though I am breaking no laws, telling me I am marked for death, going to jail, that I am just food, etc. At one point, I was at an amusement park with my daughter watching  show, when I felt a directed energy weapon attack: it felt like a hot poker going into my back and straight through my left lung, which I am sure is done to make it look like I died of lung cancer.

I must be a victim of either MK Ultra or the Monarch program, not only because I have had programming terms spill out into my conscious mind, but because it simply looks like my entire life has been orchestrated for the specific purpose of making me negative and to turn me away from God. At any rate, I can show that I have not been allowed much “freewill”, and its ending result was one of catastrophe. I am not even sure “freewill” even exists, hence the quotations. I urge any target reading this to read it completely, and then examine your own life to see how you may have been manipulated in relation to your name and/or birthdate, especially in regards to music and movies, as well as the tarot, used as a programming device, as opposed to a fortune-telling device. I am the victim of what can only be called Mind Control, regardless of what program was used. Taken separately, the events of my life may not look like Mind Control to most people, but when considered together, it cannot be denied that what happened to me was a classic PSYOPS experience or experiment, resembling The Truman Show, except in my case, I was debased, debilitated, and dehumanized on a fundamental level, whereas in the movie, they show the main character was raised by loving and attentive parents. After what I have learned about myself, and what I have witnessed in this country and the world, I am now forced to consider that the kinds of things that were done to me are occurring, in some level (even if a more subtle level), on a global scale, in order to make the whole of society unbalanced and unwell, and thereby easily manipulated by the hidden ones in power and the power structure. I am not writing this to disrespect my parents, which will be seen as my story continues below, as I know they too were controlled by this machine.

I have learned that certain occult brotherhoods, interested in making blood sacrifices, will force a woman to give birth on a certain day. I believe that my birthmother was more than likely induced to have me on 12/12, because of the predominance of that number in our culture, and its association in most tarot decks. I was adopted at 6 weeks, but I remember a photo of my father holding me and I looked like a newborn, which makes me think I was premature. They would do this to make sure that I would be weak and more easily manipulated.

In addition to that, I had the classic near-drowning at 3 years old, which is a well-documented event in mind control.

One thing that makes me believe that I was mind controlled to be negative is the fact that I was forced to write with the right hand, against my natural inclination to be left-handed. This was done by telling me, when I was learning to write, that left-handedness was evil. If the right hemisphere of the brain generally controls the left side of the body, as evidenced in studies of stroke victims, what does this imply for someone who is naturally left-handed, but forced to be right-handed? Is it possible that doing this to me could have “switched my poles”, causing a bright and intelligent child to slowly lose her natural God given gifts? Is it also possible that switching someone’s natural handedness could make them negative, less intelligent, unbalanced, and emotionally unstable? I believe it should be looked into. I believe that changing my natural, God given, left-handed nature caused me to lose ambition, creating a state of apathy & confusion, over time, and is at least partly responsible for my negativity. This is evidenced by the fact that when I was in grade school, I had a high IQ, and was in the top 2% of my class, but over time, my grades fell dramatically. I was lucky to graduate high school with a C average. While my mother’s negative influence in my life is, of course, partly responsible for this, I would have most likely been more self-motivated, had I been allowed to keep my natural left-handedness. This could also have something to do with what I document next.

There are many who believe that the tarot can be used to tell someone’s future, and others who would say it is meant to help people work through their psychological issues, but given my story, and how much it relates to a certain tarot deck (A. Crowley’s Thoth deck), I find myself thinking that these images had an unnatural and cruel programming type of an effect on my life, as did many other things in art, music, movies, and TV. After a certain amount of detective work, I have learned why.

“Life imitates art far more than art imitates life” –Oscar Wilde

As I mentioned earlier, I was born on 12/12/1967. I think it is very possible that the assignment of the number 12 in the trumps of almost every tarot deck, in addition to the prevalence of the number 12 in the bible and in culture, has also had a subliminal effect on me throughout my life, having a specific impact on my ego. In the tarot, the 12th card of the major arcana is usually The Hanged Man, an upsidedown person. Due to the patterns of my life closely relating to the Thoth deck, I feel that I may have been programmed with it. I have met one other person with a 12/12 birthdate, and he also feels like his whole life has been cursed. I certainly cannot deny the possibility, given the fact that my adoptive mother, born on 4/4, had a life that mimics exactly the 4th trump in that deck. In the Thoth deck, the Hanged Man’s right foot is tied to an upsidedown Ankh, which is the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility. I find it sad that my ideas about life and fertility were always skewed in this way, although I had not known about this card for the majority of my life. As far as I know, I had never seen it, however, I must now question if I was shown this card in my youth, as some part of a mind control program. I only say this because of its serious and deleterious effect on my life. While I knew of my birthdate, I never really associated myself to that number on a conscious level, rather I have always identified with the number 3, possibly because I was baptized Catholic and received first communion.  I have to wonder if being born on this birthdate has affected others in similar ways, but I suspect that it depends on how the person is raised (including trauma in early childhood) in addition to their birthdate, name, numerology, tarot correspondences, and astrological sign, in addition to whether they were part of this mind control program that I seem to have been put through.

When one takes into account the occult nature of those who would be involved in such practices as MK Ultra and the Monarch Program, it is very possible that the tarot was used in conjunction with dark magic and mindcontrol, to create a peculiar pattern in my life that closely resembled the energy of the Hanged Man card throughout most of my life, causing me to blame God for everything in my life, turn away from the church given its history of killings and hypocrisy, and eventually sign a contract with a character named Enki (a Sumerian god), whom I was mindcontrolled into believing was the true God. I was only searching for the One True God of the Universe, and everything the churches were seen to be doing turned me away from them. By forcing my life into such a negative pattern (inverted-like the Hanged Man card), as you will see if you read this whole document, it was easy to turn me away from the God of the bible, making me believe that the bible lied. Given how the images from the tarot have affeted me & other people I know, however, I now understand why one of the commandments states, “No Graven Images”.

Here are pictures of the, The Emperor and The Hanged Man, from the Thoth tarot:

4th Trump of the Thoth Tarot deck

Adoptive Mother’s Card, because her birthdate was 4/4

While it seems that we have all been mind controlled to some degree, I see my case as slightly different from most people, only because of my mother’s 4/4 birthdate and my 12/12 birthdate, and how they were used against me. My mother’s card, The Emperor has so many symbols relating to her life that it was impossible for me to ignore. There are two rams (Aries) behind her (they “had her back” so to speak): the one on the left, representing my father, who always took care of her even after the divorce; and the ghostly one on the right, my grandmother who is deceased. The figure has one 8-point star in a circle (eight balls?) on either side, which represent my cousin and my brother, both born in August, whom she regarded fondly. The lamb at the bottom, represents me, from whom she was always looking away. This lamb is holding a flag, & one could say I was a flag waver for certain causes, such as Greenpeace (back in the 1980s). The Emperor is holding a ball with an equal-armed cross on it, so it is a coincidence that my mom was a trophy-winning bowler?

 

In my case, The Hanged Man is nailed down and unconscious, symbolizing how I have been unaware of what has been happening to me my entire life. Already mentioned is the fact that the figure is hanging upsidedown, from the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility, which shows how my entire life has been inverted. The fact that the figure has no clearly definable genitalia (just a lump of flesh in that position), is significant of castration, symbolic 12th Trump Thoth Tarotof the pain I am in today and have been suffering from since the middle of 2008. The serpent in the card represents the serpent class (or satan), connected via rays to the figure’s head, makes it seem that they are able to read my thoughts, to be displayed in some altered form, in movies, TV, but especially in music. One example of how my life has been played out in some form in music can be seen in the Beatles’ song, “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, where George Harrison sings: “I don’t know how you were inverted.” Another example would be the Kate Bush song, “Experiment IV” (4th trump=Emperor), in which she describes “a sound that could kill someone from a distance”, which relates to all the negative energies sent to me from my adoptive mother with that 4/4 birthdate. It is already well known that mind control is often addressed in music & movies. One thing I want to note here is that the things they are doing to mind control victims are played out in music in movies, so that when anyone complains of the effects of targeting and mind control, they can be dismissed as delusional (“Ah, you’ve been watching too many movies, man”). However, all one has to do is see how, even some political candidates, such as Connie Marshall (KY), and celebrities, such as Randy Quaid (his case told on YouTube), are now complaining of targeting, to understand that this is anything but a delusion.

12th Trump of the Thoth tarot deck

For some good information on targeting, see: http://hrvcanada.blogspot.com/2011/10/connie-marshall.html.

It was not long after I discovered the effect on me from the tarot that I began to see the symbolism in certain words. Notice, for example, the following words: Bill, chill, mill, kill, till, all have the root words “ill” in them; and how the words bow, chow, cow, pow, sow, all have the root “ow” in them. It might

Mu, the first syllable in the words "music"

The First Syllable in the Word, “MUSIC”, 12th Letter of the Greek Alphabet

mean nothing, yet it could still have a subliminal effect. I looked up the word “music” as two distinct words; mu and sic. Taken individually, they are defined as follows: Mu– 12th letter of the Greek alphabet, a lost continent in the Pacific Ocean, an opiate receptor, among many other things, and is a root in many words in the English language; and Sic– Intentionally so written, As written, A command to attack (as in “sic the dog”). That being said, one also has to take into consideration the sound of the word, “music”, as in “muse sick”. When I think of these definitions, and the way my life has been, I realize that my life seems orchestrated by some unknown entity, and I am praying that God would not do this to an individual. For example, my initials happen to spell “cat” (although my mother has confessed to not really liking cats), and when I was in school to be an artist, a woman entered that school, with the last name of “Skinner”, and somehow she was able to end up with many of my ideas without me telling her. I see this as related to the phrase, “skin the cat”. Later, she would introduce me to heroin at a vulnerable time in my life, which helped to ruin my career.

My initials, C.A.T., seem to have been given to me, with the specific intent of dehumanization (possibly as part of this sick experiment). I have read that many

Monarch Butterfly Cat

Monarch Butterfly Cat from http://www.tigerpixie.com

survivors of the Monarch program are given “cat alters”, although I am not a multiple personality. I do think I have repressed memories, since I have heard programming break through to my conscious mind. I am a Mind Control victim who was adopted (as some would say, “sold into slavery“) through Catholic Charities, but was held in the agency’s custody for the first six weeks of my life, creating an attachment disorder, causing me to be a very emotionally needy child. Unfortunately, my adoptive parents were either unable or unwilling to fill this need. I ask myself why my mother would me name me something with the initials spelling CAT, when she never really liked cats. My parents had a natural born, ten year old boy when I was adopted. My mother’s maiden name was Gaeta, so when she married, it became Nay Gaeta “negator”, which is a cruel symbolic irony regarding the effect she had on my life. She was in her thirties when I was adopted. She smoked three packs of Parliaments a day, which is possibly why she had two miscarriages before I was born. She used a method of child-rearing, common in the 1960s, which advocated leaving the child to cry and/or scream for hours in the crib without responding. This method of caring for a baby is cruel, and I cannot imagine why anyone who loved their children would do this. I am sure that it causes or contributes what is known as “attachment disorder”.My parents were upper middle class, so in the absence of love, they gave me material things. My father, working a job that kept him out of town frequently, wasn’t around much, and I felt his absence. Although she seldom had to work, my mother was also never around much, leaving the raising of me up to myself, and various nannies that would come and go during the first nine years of my life. My brother, who was ten years older than me, was usually away at boarding school. I had the classic near-drowning at 3 years old (common among Ritual Abuse victims), and I am told that my brother saved my life when I was found floating face-down in the pool, although considering the accounts of RA victims and participants (who are also victims) throughout the world, I now have no idea what the real truth is.  In any case, it is possible that this was a ritual drowning, done to bring me to a near death experience, which would then allow for spiritual and demonic influence in my life, or easier mind control.

My brother has told me that our mother was caught shaking him when he was a baby, and had to be watched, which is why we ended up with nannies during the first eight or nine years of my life. If this is true, I have to wonder where our nanny was when I fell out of the crib during one of those times when I was left to scream in the crib, by myself. That being said, I do know that my mother had an obvious mean streak in her (The Emperor-remember), and I did witness her beating on my brother when I was around five, and he was fifteen. I know she was beaten by her own father, and I suspect she was sexually abused as well, so I am not trying to show disrespect for her or my father, as I know they were both victims of their own programming, as were their parents before them.

My parents got divorced when I was around 9 years old, and I took it hard because I really needed my dad in my life. My dad moved out of state, and my mother and I moved out of the family home. We ended up in the place where I spent the second half of my childhood, in a literal house of mirrors. This is why I call it PSYOPS (PSYchological OPerationS), because living in a house of mirrors during my childhood had a direct psychological impact on me. We had mirrored bedroom suites, mirrored coffee table, mirrored wallpaper, a mirrored pedestal with a steel sculpture, mirrored sliding closet doors, mirrored shower doors, mirrored art on the wall, mirrored tissue dispensers, mirrored cotton ball holders, and even mirrored outlets and switch plates. I am not exaggerating here. There was only one room in the house that didn’t have this décor, and it still had one big mirror on the back wall, behind the bar. I know this had an effect on me as a child. After reading the book about mind control, by Fritz Springmeier & Cisco Wheeler, I learned about the use of mirrors in mind control, it just seems to have been done differently in my case.

By the time I entered my teens, I became a rebel and got into the punk music scene, which only fueled the fire, so to speak. While I was never a racist, I did end up doing some very negative things, but I never committed murder. I was involved in some ugly behaviors with friends though, such as playing around in graveyards. The lack of a father figure left me easily influenced by boyfriends, throughout my life. Since my mother was never around when I was growing up, and when she was, she mostly gave negative feedback, I had very little encouragement, causing me to be lonely and angry. I felt bullied by her for the most part. She gave very little love, and just seemed to want to spend all her time with her friends. She was an avid bowler (see the image of the 4th trump of the Thoth deck above), and would drag me to smoke-filled bowling alleys. She smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day throughout my infancy and childhood, keeping a smoke-filled home & car, which not only gave me asthma, but also a nicotine addiction. Instead of trying to reason with me, my mother would yell at me for bad behavior, with the following recurring theme: “You are stupid, stupid, stupid, and you’re never going to amount to anything!”, among other similar negative feedback patterns, which is, of course, more PSYOPS (as if the mirrors weren’t enough).

I have forgiven my parents for what they did because I know they must be victims of their own programming, or were coerced into adopting me and leaving me alone throughout most of my childhood, possibly as part of the experiment. My parents may have been unwitting participants in the scheme that I have witnessed occurring in my life, being victims of their own upbringing, so I have forgiven them, but I cannot forget the fact that neither of my parents were around much when I was growing up, which caused me to be quite emotionally needy, a quality that helped to destroy my life before I ever had a chance. There are many children who have suffered through similar divorce effects in their lives, however, the implants, the mirrors, the near-drowning at 3y/o, the adoption, and the symbolism I have referenced are simply too much for me to chalk up to a “child of divorce syndrome”.

Although I might’ve been guilty of taking a few dollars from my mother here and there, during my teen years, I never stole large amounts of cash from her. When I was 17 years old, however, I got accused of stealing her wallet, which had $800 cash and her credit cards. While I know I did not do this because I fell asleep and woke up on the phone with my boyfriend at the time, she allowed the police to take me in for questioning, who then coerced me into a false confession. I don’t know if the police just wanted a scapegoat, or if this was a part of PSYOPS done on me to make me fear police and other officials so I would be afraid to go to them for help. It also made me more of a rebel. This event helped to ruin my relationship with my mother.

When I began to have memories resurface about mistreatment in my life, I became a target for what is known as PSYOPS, COINTELPRO, and Electronic Harassment. I began to hear voices through the implants on my head. At first, they sent me positive messages, making me feel loved and cared for, but this soon turned to horrible and cruel words, designed to make me very sad and negative. Any professional I see wants to make me out to be schizophrenic, but won’t even do me the courtesy of getting these things on my head examined by a medical doctor. This tells me they are either in denial or are criminally negligent.

My mother was involved in a class action lawsuit against the tobacco companies which was won back in 2008 (or so my brother told me). My mother has passed away, and during the height of my breakdown involving the voices coming through my implants, and while I was living in that foreclosed house without water or power, my brother got me to sign over executorship of my mother’s estate. This leads me to believe that something fishy is going on. If anyone cares, please say a prayer for me. While me standing to inherent a large sum of money that a particular tobacco company might not want to pay could be one reason for my targeting, the implants in my ears lead me to believe this has been going on since my early childhood.

As noted, there may be more to this document to come, but I wanted to get it out before I die, or am imprisoned for some crime I haven’t committed. I fear this might be done in order to silence me.

Resources/References:

“The Hidden Evil”, by Mark M. Rich: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7UjwZXfLpG6UFpiNUQ0dDJjSlE/edit?usp=sharing

Adoption Scandals/Child Trafficking: http://news.yahoo.com/forced-adoptions-for-unwed-mothers-around-the-globe.html

“Brainchips”: http://www.wireheading.com/delgado/brainchips.pdf

Excerpts from Dr. Jose Delgado’s “Physical Control of the Mind”: http://www.biotele.com/delgado_%20ebook/chap13.htm

Ewen Cameron Brainwashing Case: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/montreal-woman-seeks-compensation-in-50s-brainwashing-case-1.670151

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