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Archive for October, 2012

On the Concept of Freewill (an appeal to God)

An Appeal to God On the Concept of Freewill        (9/29/2012, update 10/30/2012)

Given my circumstances, I have given a great deal of thought to the whole question of “freewill”. At this point in time, it seems to me that freewill is mostly an illusion. I am not the only one who feels this way. There may be some freewill, but it seems to be very limited, based on a person’s archetypes, both astrological and tarot. I have come to the startling realization that archetypes are an example of “graven images” from the 2nd commandment. While many people interperet the 2nd commandment as referring to idolatry, it seems to me that the 1st commandment covers that. It is suspicious to me that newer versions of the bible have omitted the phrase “graven images” from the bible.

From Wikipedia: “You shall not make for yourself an idol” is an abbreviated form of one of the Ten Commandments which, according to the book of Deuteronomy, were spoken by God to Israel and then written on stone tablets by God himself.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You_shall_not_make_for_yourself_an_idol#.E2.80.9CImages.E2.80.9D_commanded_by_God

Does anyone ever wonder why the newer versions of the bible have removed the phrase “graven images” from the 2nd commandment? Graven means “frought with danger or harm”. Could it be that someone or some group has the intent of not answering for thie graven images, and the harmful results of those images on unwitting victims? The bible states that God granted people freewill, which is taken away due to the impact of archetypes on the collective consciousness, and consequently, the individual’s consciousness. These archetypes are “images” that have become “engraven” into the mind via memes that replicate every time someone looks at these cards, which in turn, amplifies the energy of that archetype, making it become even more “engraven” into the collective consciousness.

I say this because I have been a victim of the Hanged Man archetype (reversal, sacrifice, indecision) from the tarot, due to my birthdate being 12/12. Although I never knew about the tarot archetypes until later in life, they still had a profound effect on me since I was a child. This is why I have come to the realization that, while I never knew about the archetype, it still had effects on, not only my personality traits, but also on certain events in my life. One example of how the reversed nature of the Hanged Man archetype manifested itself in my life is that I was made to be right-handed, even though I was naturally left-handed. I was told that being left-handed was evil, so I made myself be right-handed, because I wanted to be good. I was a good girl who loved God with all my heart and soul.

The transfer of an archetypal pattern into the circumstances of one’s life is what I see as archetypal transference. That being said, there are differing points of view on this subject. I have a link to a great article called, “Archetypal Semiotic Transference”, by Michael Gaio, at the end of this document.

Astrological archetypes are pretty straightforward. If you are born in a certain month, you have a specific sign, and your personality traits usually reflect this. If you are born on the cusp, then you probably carry traits of both signs. Does anyone ever question why this is usually the case for most people? Is it a natural thing, or is the fact that someone assigned these archetypes to people based on their birthdates, in effect, a type of programming that severely restricts freewill? At least with astrology, you get a basic idea of someone’s personality. Who designed this system, anyway, and why? There are so many different answers to this question, depending on which source you go by. Generally speaking, each society has a different system they use. Is it so those in power could have a large measure of control over others based on their astrological archetypes? Is the fact that these archetypes are in the mass collective consciousness the actual reason why people carry personality traits related to their signs?

In astrology, I am Sagittarius, but also Ophiuchus. Many people don’t consider the sign of Ophiuchus because they say it does not lie on the ecliptic, however, its feet certainly do. Therefore, in my opinion, this 13th sign should be acknowledged. There are astrologers out there who do feel this way about the 13th sign. I have wondered if the serpent class had this sign removed out of fear that they would lose their constricting hold on the world.

However, I am one of those people who believe that a 13 moon calendar should be used. I feel the current Gregorian calendar is just a way to mess with people’s heads. I mean, think about it, why is December the 12th month, but the root word “dec” means 10; then there is Novemeber, which is the 11th month, but the root “nov” means 9, and so on. I have to wonder if these months were named specifically to confuse people on a subliminal level. We have January, February… okay, they could be symbolic of 1 and 2, but what happens with March. It is the 3rd month, so why not call it Tertiary. April could be called Quatruary. You get the idea.

If this is of God, then I am completely lost. I don’t want to believe that God would allow certain people to be cursed from birth, throughout their lives. I don’t want to believe that God would let human beings effectively destroy the freewill of other people. I don’t want to believe that God would allow someone to destroy the life of a child who so deeply loved God before her life was so turned around by these “graven images” of the archetypes.

The only way to bring freewill back into this world is to abolish archetypes. By tying someone’s birthdate to zodiacal signs & tarot correspondences, freewill has been virtually removed.The fact that most people in our societies believe in astrology, means that these archetypes have been inserted into the collective consciousness. This removes a measure of freewill. The fact that the tarot has become so popular in recent decades, has also infected the collective consciousness with certain archetypes, which then also removes freewill. Remove the archetypes & freewill may be restored.

For more information on Archetypal Transference from a different point of view, please see Michael Gaio’s blog here:

http://blog.michaelgaio.com/2011/09/25/archetypal-semiotic-transference/

For more information on my situation, with photos of my implants, please see the following document:

How My Case Differs from Well-known Mind Control Cases

For more information on the concept of programming in relation to symbolism, please see this document:

Symbolism, Mind Control, and Metaphysical Sabotage in Relation to Archetypal Transference and the Second Commandment of the Decalogue

Good versus Evil:

Good versus Evil:

The only way to bring good back into this world is to abolish the archetypes. By tying someone’s birthdate to the zodiacal signs and tarot correspondences, freewill has been virtually removed. So we end up with scorpios being kind of mean, virgos being “know-it-all’s” (as I heard one virgo tell me), and leos being hogs for attention. The fact that most people in our societies believe in astrology, means that these archetypes have been inserted into the collective consciousness, in the form of memes, unbeknownst to the individual. This removes a measure of freewill. The fact that the tarot has become so popular in recent decades, has also infected the collective consciousness with certain archetypes, which then also removes a certain amount of freewill. Remove the archetypes and freewill may be restored. I see the archetypes as “graven images” that have infected the collective consciousness.

Related:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/104639586/Symbolism-Mind-Control-and-Metaphysical-Sabotage-in-Relation-to-Archetypal-Semiotic-Transference-and-the-Second-Commandment-of-the-Decalogue

MC Victim Answers Accusations

08/22/2012A Mind Control Victim Answers Accusations from Perpetraitors:

Some people will say I am playing the victim, but I assure you that this is not by choice.

Some people will say I am lying, but you cannot make this stuff up, and I have photos that prove, at least, that I was implanted. If they were cartilage or keloids, they would not be delivering sounds and buzzing sensations through them. I ask the reader to suspend disbelief, until they’ve read the whole document. hank you for reading.

My daughter was born, in Oct of 2004, delivered via C-section. The very next month, I and my daughter both had surgeries. She had a surgery for pyloric stenosis, and I had one for cervical dysplasia. Both of us were put under general anesthetic. I have since had flashbacks of something very terrible being done to me in my privates, causing a constant physical pain that came out in Sept of 2008, in the form of vulvodynia, a disease marked by constant vaginal pain and contractions, often caused by previous  trauma in the area. When I describe my symptoms to people, some people believe it is demons doing it to me. That being said, in 2010, I had a memory resurface of the doctor (replete with surgical mask) doing something to my privates with a loud (“whirring sounding”) instrument, during which I could hear my own mother speaking to me, and I could hear my own screams. The fact that I could hear my own screams tells me this is a “flashback”, of a memory of an event that my mind had to repress to keep me sane. The fact that my mother was involved in this procedure, and in my flashback, I can clearly hear her telling me, “what a great hero you’re being for your country”, combined with the fact that my mother is now dead, tells me that they not only did something terrible to me, but that they might have killed her so that she would not be able to be questioned. The procedure was done by my OB/GYN, Romeo Acosta. I have been in constant pain in the area for around four years now. The pain itself is traumatic.

In May of 2008, I discovered implants, located just in front of each ear. I have no idea how long they’ve been there. I had an oral surgery in 1984 under a general anesthetic, and I had an oral surgery in 2001 or 2002 (I’m not sure of the date), under a general anesthetic. Although it could have happened when I was adopted and held by the Catholic agency (that has since been indicted on child-trafficking charges) for about 6 weeks before my family got me, even though they had my birthmother set up with my adoptive mother long before I was born.

Ear before pulling back to expose implant

Implants now seen after I pull back on ear

Considering the fact that I never felt pain in the locations of these implants after any surgery, I am forced to assume that they were put in before I can remember. I now hear voices through them and I have buzzing and painful sensations coming through them. As you can see from this image, they are not visible until I gently pull back on my ear, but they are definitely there. It was maybe a few months before I discovered the implants that I began to hear voices. At first, I heard a voice telling me to “purge”, as if referring to memories that were coming back to me, at that time. I also was made to believe that some of the voices were angels and that one of them was God. These voices communicated all manner of things to me, making me appear schizophrenic, so that I would be easily discredited (but I was suspiciously denied for social security disability despite the fact that I was given schizophrenic meds by the free clinic). The fact that I have these two lumps in my head cast a reasonable doubt on the idea that I may be schizophrenic. Also casting doubt on the schizophrenia diagnosis is the fact that the lithium and other meds I was given actually made the voices get worse.

At the end of August, 2008, I was left in a foreclosed home with no power or water, when my boyfriend left with our daughter. This happened as a result of me hearing voices and following their commands, thus appearing crazy. At that time, the voices coming through the implants, I didn’t yet know about, were telling me that my real family was coming to find me, prompting me to go around looking for them. Well, they lied, but this made me look nuts. In early September of the same year, I found myself in the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life. While in this constant pain, I stayed in that house for about 2.5 years, in the worst heat and, at times, in freezing temperatures. I had no vehicle and had no way of getting around, in order to try to get a job. During that time these voices, coming through the implants, told me that certain people, in my life were causing my pain. This made me send very negative energies at these people. Also during that time, in the worst heat of summer, a police helicopter woke me up at 2:30am, flying in a circular pattern, around that house, shining the spotlight into the windows for over a half an hour, which was traumatizing to say the least. During this helicopter trauma, no police vehicle came to the house, which makes the entire event suspect of someone trying to traumatize me on purpose.

While my boyfriend had a decent excuse for leaving, and for trying to have me locked up 3 times, thereby costing me the one job I ever truly loved in my life, his treatment of me during that time was downright cruel at times. For example, when he left, he promised to leave me with one of our two vehicles, but he ended up taking it instead. Also, there was one time, within the year after he had left, and I had no job at that point, and I was alone in pain, unable to walk much, and without a vehicle, trying to work with crystals to heal myself, I had no money and no way to get food. I ended up having to sell some of his tools. He busted in the door and yelled at me. He went to smash my crystals, and I tried to stop him by putting my arms between his hands and my crystals. He then grabbed me by the arms and threw me on the floor. This happened three times, and on the 3rd time, I hit the chair first. Then he grabbed my cell phone, ran out the front door, shutting it behind him & held it closed while he called the cops to accuse me of domestic violence. HE LIED, & I’M PRETTY SURE THAT COP KNOWS IT. This man is 6’3” tall and is almost twice my size, in weight and stature combined. There is no way I could ever physically harm or abuse him. I mean, come on now!

Most people are aware that the Catholic Church has been indicted on child-trafficking charges, in connection to satanic ritual abuse. I was adopted through Catholic Charities, which also has some record of being involved in child-trafficking. Many people are aware of the existence of ritual abuse and mind control, especially that which has been uncovered, during the 1977 MK Ultra Senate Hearings, to have occurred in the 50s and 60s, to witting and unwitting victims. In those hearings, it was discovered that many files of these horrendous experiments were destroyed. While it has been stated that these secret programs ended at least 12 years prior to the 1977 hearings, the fact that they were secret in the first place, leads me to believe that other programs continued after the one known as MK Ultra had ended. The experts involved in this and other secret programs were often Nazi scientists brought into our country, under what is known as “Project Paperclip”. Some such “experts” include Joseph Mengele, Ewen Cameron, and Jose Delgado. Many of the Nazi scientists were experts in the occult. Other mind control programs that are documented include: Project Naomi, Project Artichoke, Project Monarch, and Project Delta. A common practice involved in these mind control programs was to use adopted children and children from orphanages. Most experts on mind control know about the use of occult symbolism.

Beyond typical mind control and ritual abuse, involving a drowning at 3y/o (which is common to ritual abuse survivors), I have been unknowingly, unwittingly living under an occult curse my entire life. I only became aware of it within the past four years, when I discovered the Thoth tarot deck and its’ uncanny connection to my life, as noted in the e-books, “Meta Crime”, and “Symbolism, Mind Control, and Metaphysical Sabotage in Relation to Archetypal Transference and the Second Commandment of the Decalogue”. This curse is tied to my birthdate with the 12th trump of the tarot, which, in almost every single deck (of which there are over a thousand in print today), is an upside-down figure. In at least three different decks, there is a serpent close to the victim’s head, or attached to it with rays. I have read a document entitled, “Project Monarch – Nazi Mind Control”, on the internet, which states: “One of the earliest writings giving reference to occultism is the Egyptian Book of the Dead, a compilation of rituals explicitly describing methods of torture and intimidation (to create trauma), the use of potions (drugs) and the casting of spells (hypnotism), ultimately resulting in the total enslavement of the initiate. These have been the main ingredients for a part of occultism known as Satanism, throughout the ages.” In the Crowley Thoth deck (Thoth is the Egyptian God mostly associated with magic, writing, science, and judgment of the dead) the serpent either represents Satan himself, or it represents the so-called “serpent class”, who are adepts at the occult. Also in at least three different decks, is an upside-down ankh, which is the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility, a symbol that closely resembles the currently accepted sign of female. For some reason, I was always very attached to the symbol of the Ankh, while never knowing what symbolism meant. The 12th trump card is a graven image in the respect that it is an image of suffering and/or death. This curse has made it impossible for me to live a normal life, or have any true freewill, because I have been metaphorically upside-down or reversed throughout my entire life. The reversed nature of the card, and especially of the upside-down ankh in the 12th trump of at least three decks of the tarot, has caused that reversed vibration to manifest itself in my life, in the following ways:

1)      I was naturally left handed, but the person teaching me to write made me be right handed, by telling me that left-handedness is evil. I was a small child when this happened, but over time, it had the effect of helping to make me a very negative person.

2)      My mother named me with initials that spelled the word for a specific animal, dehumanizing me. Later, she would tell me, “I don’t know why I named you that, I don’t even like cats”.

3)      My mother constantly put me down, bullied me, called me names, and held other people’s children over her own, comparing me to my cousins, my friends, often telling me that I was no good and that I would “never amount to anything”.

4)      My mother (born on 4/4 which corresponds to the 4th trump, the Emperor card) had way too much power to be raising someone in such a prone position, as what is displayed on the 12th trump. This card, backed with some sort of occult intent to make a living sacrifice on a metaphysical level, created an energy of powerlessness. The voices coming through those implants tell me that I am to be a ritual blood sacrifice.

5)      The television (tell-a-vision) was my primary babysitter. I was left alone in my childhood, and was even allowed to play alone in the woods at 6 and 7 years old. Anything could’ve happened back then (including being implanted), since I have memories of going to the woods, memories of playing in the woods, but no memories of coming home. Doesn’t that seem strange to anyone besides me?

6)      My mother smoked 3 packs of cigarettes daily, exposing me, because they did not know the impact of second hand smoke on a baby back then, which addicted me to nicotine at a very early age, and caused me to have asthma.

7)      My brother often enjoyed terrorizing me. One such example I can cite is of him wrapping me up in a blanket and tossing me down the stairs. When I got to the bottom of those stairs, I pushed the blanket off of me, and saw my parents laughing at me.

Regarding other accusations about things I may or may not have done in my lifetime: Anything I am actually guilty of is directly attributable to the occult curse I have been living under throughout my life. However, I have done comparably little evil in this world, when compared to what has been done to me. Considering the fact that I have implants in my head, that are easily provable, there is no telling how long I have been subliminally affected by them, or what the voices coming through them have said to me in my sleep. Yet, I’ve never gone out and killed anyone, and I never will.

That being said, the following is a list of accusations and responses to them:

1)      I have been accused of not sharing, but if one considers how my whole life was orchestrated and my inspiration was stolen from me via the serpent class, as represented by the snake at the head of the victim in the 12th trump of the Thoth, Ludovica, and Hermetic tarot decks, then it would stand to reason that I would have a subconscious need to hold onto things, as a security issue, given that I was subconsciously seeing my own creative ideas being stolen. For example, artistic ideas were stolen from me (C.A.T.) by people like M.J. Skinner (“skin the cat”). That being said, let it be known that when I saw others who were truly in need, even when I was myself living in substandard conditions, I still shared what I had. Please see my document entitled, “Metaphysical Sabotage”.

2)      I have been accused of being a pedophile ….   This is simply ridiculous and doesn’t even deserve a response, but the answer is: NO, I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE, NOR HAVE I EVER KISSED OR DONE ANYTHING REMOTELY SEXUAL WITH ANYONE UNDER AGE,. HOWEVER, I MYSELF WAS DATE-RAPED, WHEN I WAS 16 Y/O, BY A 21 Y/O, AND IT WAS MY VERY FIRST EXPERIENCE OF INTERCOURSE. I NEVER PROSECUTED HIM.

3)      I have been accused of being a racist ….  Never in my life have I ever been racist, nor have I ever discriminated on the basis of anything. In fact, even as a child, I always showed the utmost respect for oppressed races and cultures.

4)      I have been accused of being a baby killer. While I deeply regret having two abortions, I had no parents around raising me, and as a result, I ended up following much of what those around me believed, especially the males, because I sorely lacked a father figure in my life. At one point, I ended up with a boyfriend who as prochoice and exposed me to the book called “Our Bodies Ourselves”, which approved of abortion. Unbeknownst to me, my subconscious was having a strong influence in my life, and had me always seeking out a daddy. In my late teens and early twenties (and even into my 30s), I was easily influenced by every boyfriend I had.

5)      I have been accused of being lazy. Up until I found myself in excruciating pain, I have always taken relatively good care of my home, until I found myself simultaneously working, taking care of a toddler, and trying to keep house from 2005 until 2008.

6)      I have been accused of being a whore, which I am most certainly not. There have been short moments in my life, when I was forced to live like one, like when I was living in the streets, but I am not one, and have not truly ever been one.

7)      I was a latchkey kid from 9y/o until I moved out, even though my mother didn’t have to work during that time, at all.

8)      As previously discussed, I have been living under an occult curse my entire life, as a result of my birthdate in relation to the 12th trump of the Thoth tarot, with the upside-down ankh (the Egyptian symbol for life & fertility), with my mother being the 4th trump, allowing her way too much power over me.

9)      I have been accused of being a narcissist … I spent half my childhood in a house of mirrors, with a narcissist mother, in which there was a completely mirrored coffee table, the closet doors were mirrored, the bedroom sets were mirrored, and even the wallpaper was mirrored. Can you say PSYOPS? What does growing up in a house of mirrors do to a child anyway? So I probably WAS one, but I am not one now. For info on the role mirrors play in mind control, please see the following: http://www.theforbiddenknowledge.com/hardtruth/mind_control_art.htm

For more info on general mind control programming, including the use of mirrors, see the Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler document about “Undetectable Mind Controlled Slaves”, here: http://www.emhdf.com/Monarch-mind-control.pdf

10)   I have been accused of being “cruel” …  well, I couldn’t have possibly been as cruel to my child as the catholic church has been to me, by holding me in custody for the first 6 weeks of my life (with no parental bonding), or by allowing some agency to put implants in my head. There was a time, when I was in my late teens or early twenties when this guy named Bob punched me and threw me into a sliding glass door. I retaliated after being goaded by his own friends. I am not proud of what I did. I painted his member red. Even to this day, when I have repented of it to people I know, I was told it was “funny” not “horrible”, and that he deserved it for hitting a woman. However, I sincerely regret it.

11)   If the accusation is in relation to me name calling or being a bully when I was younger… well, my parents were bullies to me (mom called me stupid, while dad called me fat). Growing up, my friends made up names for others, and so did I. “When in Rome, etc.” I think this is where that came from, but I changed. For example, there was a teacher in my school named Emma Mosteller, and my friend, Lucianne, made up the name, “Enima Molester”. I subsequently called my friend “Lusty Anus”. I am not proud of it, but I was following a pattern. Considering the fact that I was metaphorically upside-down, it should come as no surprise.

12)   I have been told that “you snooze you lose”, regarding the fact that, after I lost my job, finding myself in horrible, nightmarish pain, with no vehicle, no place to go, and living in a foreclosed house with no power or water, it took me over three years to begin writing about my experiences in any coherent way. I had virtually no access to a computer, so I was unable to learn much of anything in relation to the curse, or anything else for that matter. When I was able to get to a library, I found many books unavailable. I contend that I was not snoozing, rather, I was cut off from every outlet to state my case for forgiveness, once I began to learn of the metaphysical curse I had been living under throughout my life. Also, I was in a state of constant traumatic pain and hearing voices through these implants, which I sometimes want to call “headphones”. Even friends and neighbors would rarely let me use their computers to get online, so I was unable to post my experiences. When I was able to get online, I was hit with either (at neighbor’s house) someone talking in my face during the whole time, which distracted me, or (at library) I would be inundated with various voices throwing me off track, or scaring me into leaving with threats. Wherever I went for help regarding my specific problem, I was not able to get adequate treatment, which I sincerely hope will change soon. Whoever is responsible for the ongoing Traumatic Stress Disorder should have to face some consequences for their actions, because its goal seems to be just to make me appear insane, or to actually drive me insane, but it seems like there is some agency that does not truly want me to get help, or recover.

13)   I have been accused of being a liar … Honestly, when I was younger, I did make things up to try to get attention from my parents, because they were simply absent during my childhood, but I did change. In fact, I made the conscious effort to change because I did not like getting attention that way, and I didn’t want to be a liar. At the risk of being labeled a liar by my accusers/gang-stalkers, I am being honest about my past. At one point, after discovering what was happening to me, I believed that one of my doctors (OB/GYN) might have been named Delgado, but I have since researched my personal files, and realized that neither one of them had that name. This tells me that these verifiable implants have been used to enforce the idea that I had a doctor named Delgado, just so someone could then paint me as a liar. While it is possible I had an oral surgeon by that name, I cannot verify the name of the last oral surgeon I had, who was in St. Petersburg, FL. The first oral surgeon I had was named Castellano, and was in Tampa. Regardless of what doctor put the implants in, and what doctor did the horrifying procedure to my privates, the flashback and the pain are absolutely real. I have no doubt that trauma occurred in my privates to cause it, but of course, no one wants to believe it, or give me a true exam, or even give me pain medication for it. The trauma to my privates has caused the condition noted above called vulvodynia, which is a constant pain in the area, usually caused by a previous trauma to the area.

14)   I have been called a “user” … I honestly do not want to be disabled, not in the least. I have always worked very hard for my money, and in most job I’ve held, I was always the top performer. However, I am suffering from severe PTSD due to the horrible and evil events that happened to me. The obvious implants, that are located in front of each ear, may have subliminally influenced me the whole time they have been in place. For all I know, they may have been sending me subliminal messages during my sleep to make me psychologically unwell.

What was done to me, throughout my life, violated every law imaginable at the time of my adoption. From what I understand, back in the 60s, it was illegal to put implants in a child’s ears, and mind control was illegal. These days, it seems to be the norm, as I can see and hear it in the music, movies, and television. Since the patriot virtually repealed every human right we had in our constitution, those who wish to subvert human rights seem to have been given carte blanche to do so.

If there is an honorable attorney out there, who recognizes that at the very least, that I should be grandfathered in to being able to sue those responsible for my implants, due to the date of implantation, I would love to hear from one. I have read that one can find the manufacturer of an implant by examining it under a microscope.

I believe I was sold into slavery, to be a part of some horrible macabre experiment, designed to influence me in a subliminal and insidious way, to do things against my true nature and freewill. I hope those who are inflicting this “soft-kill/no-touch torture”, as well as that those who put the implants in my ears are someday held liable for their actions, for what they are doing and have done to me is the most heinous crime I could’ve ever thought possible.

I pray every day that someone can help me. I am living in what I can only describe as a mental concentration camp.

I am so concerned about what is coming….

I am so concerned that I may not be around much longer, that I want to carve the words “implants-check ears” on my body somewhere… somewhat like the guy from Davinci Code. Unlike that man, however, I  want there to be no cryptic BS involved. I want it obvious, so that in case I die, or they dope me up, there will be no doubt of the meaning. I am open to people’s advice regarding this. I realize it may make me look insane, however, I just don’t know how else to make sure those who find my body will know what was done to me during the time that Catholic Charities had me in their custody, before I was adopted.

In case you are coming upon my documents for the first time, I will tell you that I am the victim of what is being called “no-touch torture”, or “soft-kill”. They use a combination of gang-stalking and electronic harassment, with some other technologies that I have no idea of. I can say this: I wake up in the middle of the night feeling interior parts of my body vibrating, as if I am being vibrated apart at my heart and root chakras.

I know it seems nuts, but I have photo proof of my implants at various documents around the net. These implants are used to make me and others believe that I am a demon or the devil himself. I assure you that this is not true. I am the one who wanted us all to be free of hell. Well, rather than making you go to another document for the photos – here is one: Implant with circle to indicate location

Whether they kill me, or they lock me up, I feel that I want someone to know what was done to me before it’s too late, so that when they autopsy is done, they check my ears for the implants… or that so if they frame me for something, & then dope me up in court, it is scarred on me. Anyway, I just wanted to say that before I disappear.

Please see my other posts for more info. I have more photos of my implants at various documents throughout the net.

Please look up “musicis2words”,or “metacrime”.

Mu=12th letter of the Greek alphabet.

Sic=”as intentionally as so written”.

Again, I welcome all input on this idea.

I Love My Daughter

10/8/2012:

I am afraid that I may be dying, and since I have no insurance, I have no way of knowing for sure if I have a physical ailment. My constant pain would indicate that I do, yet the clinics can only provide the very minimum of care for me, and when I have spoken of and shown my implants, and when I’ve brought up ritual abuse, basically, I have been called a liar.

I make mention of the possibility of my death because I am afraid for my daughter, not having a parent who is aware of all the things that created the worst problems in her own life. You see, I lived most of my life, unconscious of what caused me to be so unwell in the first place. Now that I am aware of it, and aware of how they force everyone to be right-handed out of convenience, whether or not it is natural to them. Since this is what happened to me (see “The Case for the Left”), and since I see how it has also had effects on other people, who were originally left-handed, but forced to be right-handed, I want to make the effort to make sure my child exercises the right hemisphere of her brain, to give her benefits that I and her father have lost. Both he and I were originally left-handed, but made to be right-handed, due to someone else’s convenience. While I would like her to be able to learn to write with her left-hand, I am lucky just to get her to eat with it.

I was very artistic as a child, and grew up to go to art school, because I was creative. I even was awarded a scholarship and an exhibit in the gallery at my school. However, because I was forced to be right-handed against my natural inclination, I lacked the ability to persevere, the ability to complete projects, a sense of balance, and so many other things.

I love my daughter so much. I lost three years of her life, when in mid-2008, after voices started to become audible through the implants I have clearly shown in photographs in other pages. See “Here we are in 2012 and I am Still Alive” at: https://musicis2words.wordpress.com/2012/09/27/here-we-are-in-2012 for photo proof of implants. Once I started to act on and speak of things said to me by these voices, Jerome had me baker acted, and eventually left me in the house we lived in, allowing it to go into foreclosure. Since I had been locked up twice while this was going on, I lost my job. Eventually, the power and water were shut off, and finally garbage service was lost. Ironically, this is the house I begged Jerome not to buy, asking him if instead, we could move into another apartment in a different neighborhood.

At first, I didn’t get to see my daughter at all. Near Christmas of 2008, I remember Jerome bringing me a large, framed copy of a Christmas photo of her, which I cherished and still have. During the time from sometime after that Christmas until April 2010, I got to see my daughter once a month.

Part of me wanted to let her go, because it was too painful for me to deal with losing her, as I had placed a son for adoption, and never got over it. My mind, being terrorized by what was happening to me at the time, and by memories of what had happened to me in the past, was having a difficult time dealing with the loss of my daughter.

The point with this update is that I love her dearly. Unlike my mother, who didn’t even seem to try to raise me when I was young, I want my daughter to have a better life than I had. I certainly want to try to help her avoid some of the pitfalls I encountered in my life, at any rate.

For more information on left-handedness, please see this link: https://musicis2words.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/the-case-for-left-handedness

How My Case Differs From Wellknown Mind Control Cases

How My Case Differs from Typical Mind Control and Ritual Abuse:

My mind control case is not as sensational as those of Cathy OBrien or Brice Taylor, because my situation is much more covert, is is therefore more sinister, since I cannot point to the actual perpetrators of the crime against me, that started when I was born.

Much of my mind control programming has been done via implants at each ear, the size of RFIDs, Which are suspiciously located exactly where the external part of a cochlear implant would be (although mine go through the cartilage and are under the skin), possibly linking directly into my Implant with circle to indicate locationbrain, which allows the perpetraitors (misspelled on purpose to denote that these people are indeed traitors to their own country because they are violating innocent human beings from birth and well into adulthood, possibly for one’s entire life), to do their evil, unseen by me, so I cannot point to specific persons to accuse.

 

I cannot blame the adoption agency, Catholic Charities, directly, because I can no longer find the article where I saw that they were indicted for child trafficking, although I did see it in a news story on television. Since I cannot back up the claim with any proof, I cannot make the claim.

I recently received a link from a kind reader, showing me how the Catholic church in Spain was involved in trafficking over 300,000 babies, telling their mothers their babies had died at birth:

“300,000 babies stolen from their parents – and sold for adoption: Haunting BBC documentary exposes 50-year scandal of baby trafficking by the Catholic church in Spain”

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2049647/BBC-documentary-exposes-50-year-scandal-baby-trafficking-Catholic-church-Spain.html

It’s a sick thing going on in the catholic church. If they’ve been doing it over in Spain, is it any stretch to think they might have done it to me and sold me into a mind control program, putting implants in my head as a baby during the first 6 weeks of my life, when I was in the agency’s custody?

That being said, most people who have done any research on children who are used in experiments are frequently from orphanages. It also must be noted that many targeted individuals that I know are adopted or were in foster homes.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_international_adoption_scandals

In case you doubt the possibility of me being implanted, please see this: http://www.skewsme.com/implants.html

Satanic Ritual Abuse is a well-known phenomenon, yet most people I speak to about it won’t recognize that it might have happened to me, in combination with mind control.

I am constantly being threatened by these voices to be thrown in jail, framed for something I haven’t done. My answer to those who are using these implants not only for telemetry, but also for broadcasting, is that if I ever end up in front of detectives or a judge, I will tell these people that I have these implants, and that those who did it, or those who are subordinates of those who did it, are interested in me being put away so I cannot talk about what has been done to me during my lifetime. Mind Control, Satanic Ritual Abuse, and the Occult go hand in hand. Knowing that the Constitution seems to no longer safeguard the public from these situations, I urge the reader to examine the following in relation to my implants (given that when they were implanted, in my infancy or early childhood, the Constitution was supposed to have protected me from such a violation):

https://sites.google.com/site/mcrais/stealers

Implant on left side with circle to indicate location

cochlear_implantOne way in which my mind control programming differs from the type discussed in the Springmeier/Wheeler book called, “The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Controlled Slave”, which can be found online, is that my programming was done by my own adoptive parents, so that it just looks like bad parenting by a narcissist mother. The implants make it more insidious because I cannot point directly to some evil mind like Dr. Cameron or Dr. Mengele and sue them, since they were probably implanted in my head when I was a baby, so I would not retain a memory of the procedure, nor remember the pain from it. Since I was in the agency’s custody for the first six weeks of my life, this seems to be the most likely time when it would’ve happened. My programming was more subtle, and less proveable than mind control victims like Cathy O’Brien or Brice Taylor, except for the implants, which I have so far been unable to get looked at by a professional.

The fact that I was denied disability, despite the fact that I have a history of mental issues, such as a suicide attempt at 17y/o, a record of drug abuse (which is common for people suffering from mental issues related to mind control, ritual abuse and/or neglect), records of visits to various psychiatrists and psychologists throughout my lifetime, including three baker acts, tells me that the judge who did my hearing is indeed crooked, or at least terribly misinformed. I have been made disabled on purpose, with neglect, mental abuse, mind control, and satanic ritual abuse. Now I am targeted as if I am being punished for the way I have been set up in the first place.

Despite my emotional problems related to abuse, up until 4 years ago, I always worked my butt off for every dime I ever earned.  That all changed when I began to remember some of the things that happened to me. I became the target for what is now being called “no-touch torture” or electronic harassment. It is well-known in psychological studies that traumatic memories of ritual abuse and mind control often come out in one’s forties. I began to hear voices in my forties, accompanied by memories of abuse, and that is when my life fell apart. Whether diagnosed for PTSD, or for schizophrenia (which seems to be one of the aims of mind control practices- to discredit the victim), either way, they are diagnoses worthy of disability, to say the least, and possibly a criminal investigation to exactly what happened to me. This last note is with the idea in mind that I have implants for crying out loud! Of course, I was denied disability by a judge, who ought to lose her job.

Unfortunately, when I research mind control and ritual abuse, I find that most doctors and law enforcement are a part of this network of destroying lives.

When I began to have memories of certain incidents come back to me, such as an instance of my mother leaving me alone crying in the crib for hours, telling me to “eat shit and die”, or her blowing cigarette smoke in my face (she smoked 3 packs a day), or my uncle blaming me for my Aunt’s heart attack, or being wrapped in a blanket and tossed down the stairs by my brother, to come out of the blanket and find both my parents laughing and pointing their fingers at me, that is when my character was assassinated, I lost my job writing articles, and my whole life commenced falling apart. It seems like I was intentionally discredited, so that I would not be able to get any real help for my situation.

Among people I have spoken with regarding the implants, there seems to be some disagreements as to what these things in my head (through which I hear voices and feel buzzing sensations) are. I have had one person say they are “cutaneous horns”, which I have looked up, and what I have are subcutaneous, so that couldn’t be it. When I did a search for “subcutaneous horns”, I found only photos of “cutaneous horns”. I had a psychologist try to tell me they are keloids, which they obviously are not, since keloids are on the skin, not under it, and since what I have looks nothing like keloids. By the way, from what I understand, people with keloids do not hear things through them, nor do they feel vibrations through them, and people with cutaneous horns have not mentioned that they hear or feel anything through them either. One other thing of note, regarding my implants, is the fact that if I put my finger in the top part of my ear, on the other side of where the implant is, I can feel a nub there. So the things in my ears are oval shaped, and both ends of them can be felt. This means they go through the cartilage of my ears.

To these people who do not believe me, why doesn’t one of them, or all of them combined, help me get one of these implants taken out of my head, to RFIDRiceFingersComparisondetermine what they really are? Then we could see the truth of the matter. I mean, they ARE the size of RFID tags. Perhaps I haven’t been able to get any help because they do not want the truth to get out. I am forced to assume this, given the circumstances of my character assassination, the loss of my job, the fact that all of my friends and neighbors have been convinced to ignore me.

One example of how my situation clearly looks like a mind control case is that the mirrors used in my programming were everywhere within the home I lived in for the 2nd half of my childhood. There was a mirrored coffee table, mirrored wallpaper, a mirrored pedestal for chrome art, mirrored dressers, mirrored closet doors, mirrored end tables, mirrored switch plates, mirrored cotton ball dispensers, and mirrored art on the walls. Using mirrors is a well-known method of mind control cited in the Springmeier/Wheeler book. Another example is that I had the classic near-drowning at the age of 3, which is common to ritual abuse survivors.

The RFID tags would have been enough, and they have probably been using them my whole life to mess with my head, possibly while I slept. Yet, no one wants to believe it’s possible that this could be happening to me, even though when I was born, in the late 60s, programs of mind control were more than established. Dr. Jose Delgado was able to stop an implanted, charging bull with a remote control in 1963. http://www.wireheading.com/delgado/brainchips.pdf

I had a surgery for cervical dysplasia in 2004, under a general anesthetic. I have had a flashback of something horrible and unthinkable that happened to me during that procedure. It is a flashback because I can see the masked doctor and my mother, I can hear the whirring instrument, I can hear my mother’s voice, and I can hear my own screams while I am being mutilated. I have had a psychologist say to me, “I know you like to tell stories”. To her, I can only hope that one day, she goes through something like this and no one believes her. As a result of this procedure, I now have a condition called vulvodynia, which usually results from trauma to the area. Of course, I have been so far, unable to get it treated. This procedure is most likely why I became afraid of lawn mowers in 2008.

It is my sincere hope that I will be able to find an honorable doctor and/or attorney to help me with my situation. I may not be able to point the finger at any one person and sue them (unles it is the adoption agency that sold me into this horrible experiment), but perhaps I could at least get some decent treatment for my issues, so I can go back to work and lead a normal life.

Some people who read this may assume that I am just trying to get attention. This is false. I am trying to raise a kid while these implants are delivering very malicious messages into my mind. It is a very difficult situation I find myself in. I never dreamed that I was a mind control victim, and I certainly do not wish to be. The only attention I am trying to get is that of an honrable doctor or attorney to help me get one removed so I can get a serial number from it and track down the manufacturer.

It is my fear that I was sold into slavery via this Catholic adoption, just to be implanted at birth, so I could be the subject of this horrible, evil mind control, via these implants, so that I could be made a ritual sacrifice for these evil creatures that should get eaten by their own kind for what they’ve done.

For background info, please see “Here We Are in 2012, and I’m Still Alive” at the following link:

https://musicis2words.wordpress.com/2012/09/27/here-we-are-in-2012

“I suppose the most revolutionary act one can engage in is … to tell the truth.”

                                                                                                    -Howard Zinn (Marx in Soho)

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