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Symbolism, Mind Control, and Metaphysical Sabotage in Relation to Archetypal Transference and the Second Commandment of the Decalogue

12th Trump from the Thoth Tarot Deck

Lil Wayne video "My Homies"

Lil Wayne Video Foreshadowing Colorado Batman Premier Shooting, 12 dead 71 injured

No Graven Images:

Has anyone noticed that, as newer versions of the bible come out, the term, “Graven Images” has been selectively removed? I believe there is a reason for this. This is a short document about the results of a certain graven image from the tarot, the 12th trump, in 2012. Graven Images are literally “images fraught with danger or harm”. I think the statement in the 2nd commandment of the Decalogue had more than one purpose. It seems that graven images are able to cause all sorts of chaos in the world, through a process that could be referred to as Archetypal Transference. The Lil Wayne video, foreshadowing the Batman movie premier shooting by James Holmes, is an example of how so-called “Graven Images” can have a negative impact on our society. I feel that the second commandment of the Decalogue was either mistranslated, or misinterpreted (selectively interpreted), leaving a part of the meaning out, based on the meaning of the word “graven” as a past participle of the word “grave”. I have seen where certain “graven images” have had effects on others. In the case of the shooting in Aurora, Colorado recently, at a Batman movie premier: the shooter, James Holmes, killed 12 people and injured 71. This event was foreshadowed by a “Lil Wayne” video called, “My Homies Still“, in which he shows 12 skeletons in a movie theatre, amongst live people, while he sings in front of them. Could it be that the “graven image”/image of death caused a vibration to be carried out by some unwitting patsy? Could images of death have impacts on people that are not seen to date, via chaos magic and/or quantum mechanics? This image of the screen shot above was taken from: http://illuminatiwatcher.com/?p=2924.

The images on either side of the screen shot, are two versions of the 12th trump of the Tarot, one is from the Crowley-Harris Thoth deck, while the other is a painting by Ludovica Wing Shuen Price. (Link: http://www.elfwood.com/art/l/u/ludovica/the_hanged_man.jpg.html). Both images seem to illustrate some of what is happening in our world in the years surrounding 2012.

This document is about how symbolism has been used to negatively affect our society, taking away a person’s freewill, without them knowing it. I am no “Bible-thumper”, but I contend that the second commandment is more than a comment on idolatry, and may have been mistranslated to keep people from understanding its original intent. Most people see the word “graven” in the Bible, and say it means “engraven”, as in an engraved image. As noted above, the word “graven” is a past participle of the word, “grave”, and is both noun and adjective. As a noun, a “grave” is a tomb or sepulcher. As an adjective, the word “graven” means (from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/graven): “fraught with danger or harm”, and “somber or dark in hue”. With this in mind, an image of death and/or destruction is a graven image. After much study of the subject of symbolism, I have seen how life imitates art in the most unfortunate ways, due to the large-scale, metaphysical impact of the graven images in the Tarot. I have also seen how it has affected all of us living in the years surrounding 2012. One way I know that I am very close to the truth is that, since I began to understand these things, I became a target for the worst kind of harassment and smear campaign I would have ever thought possible, had I ever conceived of such a thing, before it happened to me. I ask the reader to keep in mind the effects of Tarot symbolism on the human psyche, as they read this. If you have a double digit birthdate, please pay special attention to what is written here. There is a reason why I am being kept from speaking out, why people who say they espouse the truth will not respond to emails, and why I have had my character assassinated.

Archetypal Transference, Chaos Theory, and the Law of Attraction:

I have seen many spiritualists and new-agers speaking of how the manifestation of a certain desire can be achieved by the amplification of a vibration, which occurs when the image or thought of that vibration is repeatedly focused on, causing what is called a feedback loop. This concept of is often discussed in quantum and chaos theories. It is usually spoken of as a way to manifest good things for oneself.

However, I have seen where the repetition of a specific vibration can manifest deleterious effects on people unaware of the precarious position they were placed in, at birth, through the use of various archetypes.

Please consider the phrase “justice is blind” & the corresponding archetype of the blindfolded lady justice for a quick example of the way this can work to someone’s detriment, without their knowledge. https://musicis2words.wordpress.com/2013/09/20/why-is-justice-blind/

Due to my birthday being 12/12, the graven image that seems to have had a very negative impact on my life is the 12th trump card of the tarot (see images above), showing either a crucified or upside-down figure. The deck that I am most connected to seems to be the Thoth deck, also referred to as “the Crowley deck”, and was originally printed in 1941. In this deck, the figure in the 12th trump, known as “The Dying God” (image at top, left), is not only upside-down, but is also unconscious, having nails on three limbs. The deck is definitely stacked against this character. One foot is tied to an upside-down ankh, which is the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility, that happens to closely resemble the symbol for female, indicating a female life lived in reverse (coincidentally, “live” spelled backwards is “evil”). The position of the serpent at the head of the figure has severely negative connotations, whether it represents the serpent class or Satan himself. To me, this is certainly a “graven image”, that is, it is an image of suffering and/or death. The meaning, usually associated with getting this card in a reading, obscures the truth about what the vibration of that card may do to people born on the 12/12 date. It is related to something called “Archetypal Semiotic Transference”, as written about in Michael Gaio’s article, which can be found online at: http://blog.michaelgaio.com/2011/09/25/archetypal-semiotic-transference/

What it really represents is a form of metaphysical sabotage, creating a form of slavery whereby the victim has his or her intellectual property stolen from them on a subconscious level. The victim never is able to understand why they feel so spiritually depleted, because they are not made aware of it on a conscious level. It becomes a disturbance in the mind, setting the tone for a reversed or inverted sort of life.

The Tarot and Freewill (or Lack Thereof):

As you can see, certain “graven images” have had a weighty impact on my life, simply due to my birthdate being 12/12. Some will say that I am playing a victim. I can assure you it is not by choice. I am not the only person being affected by these images. I know of one other person born on 12/12, and one born on 12/24, experiencing this effect to some degree. I ask you to read this document with the intent to know truth. This document is my proof that I have not been allowed to have real freewill in my life, due to an occult curse that was put on me since I was born. Although I never knew about the Tarot until more recently, it still had powerful effects on me, even in my childhood.

There seems to be some debate about how long the tarot has been in existence in its current form. Most Tarot aficionados say its current manifestation began in the 18th century, while some believe it was the 16th century. In either case, the tarot has been around for more than a couple of centuries, with the 12th trump as The Hanged Man. Attesting to the popularity of the tarot, is the fact that there are over a thousand tarot decks in print today, with untold printings of each deck. While there may be some variations, almost every deck I have seen has the same archetypes in the trump cards, although there are some exceptions. The most notable exception is the Crowley-Harris Thoth deck (with Egyptian, Astrological, and Cabbalistic influences), whereby the 11th trump, which is traditionally the “Justice” card, has been replaced by a card known as “Lust”, and the 8th trump, which is traditionally the “Strength” card, has been replaced by the card known as “Adjustment”. I relate this form of mind control, using the symbolism of the tarot, to the Monarch Program, and other programs of mind control, because those who have power over those who do not, have gotten and continue to get their power through morally reprehensible ways, using occult practices (including the Egyptian Book of the Dead), manipulating symbols that are supposed to be sacred, and causing untold suffering to their victims.

Manipulation of the Ankh (Egyptian Symbol for Life):

Upsidedown Ankh Indicating Upsidedown Life in 2012Ankh in Correct Postion of Life in Correct Position

Here are two pictures of an Ankh. While there are multiple meanings attached to this symbol, it is the mostly used to represent the word “life” in Egyptian hieroglyphs, and it happens to closely resemble the commonly accepted symbol for female. What does it imply when this symbol is upside-down? Has anyone noticed how, in 2012, life seems to be upside-down? In a so-called free country, laws protecting our freedoms have been severely restricted. The Catholic Church, which is supposed to be a spiritual organization, has been indicted on child-trafficking charges? The Catholic Church, at the Vatican, has eight obelisks, imported from Egypt at Vatican Square, and five ancient Roman obelisks, so they are indeed using symbols of an Egyptian heritage. How spiritual is it to sell children into slavery to be victims of mind control? Is it also possible that the images of the tarot have had some impact on the state of our world, depending on the year? I am reminded of the oft-quoted statement by Michael Ellner: “Just look at us. Everything is backwards; everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the major media destroy information and religions destroy spirituality.” Is it any surprise that this upside-down state of the world has reached a pinnacle in the year 2012, considering the image of the upside-down person on the 12th trump of virtually every tarot deck, and considering the symbol for life is upside-down in at least two decks, which have rapidly gained in popularity, over the past few years? If everything is upside-down in and around 2012, what happens in 2013? The 13th trump of every deck is the Death card, which is yet another graven image from theTarot. This indicates that those born on 12/12, 12/21, or also 12/24, since the 24 is 12+12, have been metaphorically and metaphysically, close to death.

Law of Attraction and Memes:

If both chaos theory and quantum theory, as applied to metaphysics, illustrate how what you focus on becomes attracted to you, as is discussed in movies like The Secret and What the Bleep Do We Know?, then is it possible to program someone into attracting negative things by using symbolism in negative ways? How can one overcome such an amplified vibrational effect? Is it also possible that, with so many people studying the tarot, do readings for other people, developing their own decks, and so many people repeating the same patterns of symbolism in their versions of the tarot, that those archetypal energies become amplified? I submit that the Tarot are decks of glorified flash cards, tools used for the apparatus of Mind Control, causing certain negative memes (a term coined by Richard Dawkins) to run rampant in our world. From Wikipedia: “A meme is an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture. A meme acts as a unit for carrying cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena. Supporters of the concept regard memes as cultural analogues to genes in that they self- replicate, mutate and respond to selective pressures.” The rising popularity of the tarot has allowed certain memes to pervade in our culture, possibly contributing to the negative situation in our world today, where so many of us now lack those freedoms we once took for granted. I should Splayed Apart Ankh=Bad Magichave known things were getting ugly when, on the back of someone’s running shoes, I saw the image of the ankh, being splayed apart. Did someone have a specific intent in creating that logo? Is someone tearing life apart in that logo? Fertility? Women? I have to wonder how many of these shoes are currently in circulation, and how many people have repeatedly focused on that image, thereby generating a very negative meme. As a meme, that image would cause serious problems in life, given the meaning of such a symbol.

Is there any way to stop these negative memes from replicating in people’s unconscious lives?

Archetypal Transference:

Many people in our society believe that astrology has an impact on people’s lives and personalities. This effect has been seen often when comparing a person with their astrological sign. For example, Scorpios are known to be kind of cruel, while Leos are known to always take center stage in any situation. This effect has been studied at length, but the effect of the Tarot on people is much more subversive and subliminal, and lesser studied. Most people use the Tarot as a guide for telling a person’s future, although C. G. Jung was one person interested in studying the archetypes of the Tarot in relation to one’s psychology, which is where “Archetypal Transference” comes in. Many people believe in what Jung called the “collective unconscious”. Could this be how Archetypal Transference is achieved? With so many people using the Tarot these days, is it possible that these images become more amplified in the collective unconscious? I suggest that this is why I and others born on 12/12 have felt so cursed and mistreated throughout their lives, especially as we have approached the year 2012.

Symbolism in Language:

Mu, the first syllable in the words "music"

The First Syllable in the Word, “MUSIC”, 12th Letter of the Greek Alphabet

Lest the reader doubt my understanding of symbolism, please note how the word television is symbolic of  “telling a vision” and how the word music (mu and sic being two separate words in the English language) is a combination of the words MU: “12th letter of the Greek alphabet”, and SIC: “as intentionally so written”. This can be viewed as the vibration of the number twelve being “as intentionally so written”. This is symbolism in its most basic form, as found in our everyday language, which has its effects on the most fundamental level, influencing the way we view everything in our lives, including other people. In my life, it seems to have manifested in the profound way music affected me, but then also, it often seems like my own subconscious has also affected much of the popular music in some ways. I say this because so much of the music I am hearing lately reflects things in my own programming. Some other examples of negative symbolism in the language includes words such as Bill, Chill, Mill, which contain the root word “ill”, in them, and Bow, Chow, Sow, which contain the root word “ow”. There are many other examples of this.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies:

I have been living under this archetypal curse my whole life, without ever knowing about the Tarot, and archetypically, my whole life has seemed upside-down. It seems to have caused me to be spiritually sick. I am not the only person born on 12/12 (“a meta-twelve”) who feels like they have been living under a curse. It would be interesting to do a study on those born on double digit birthdates, to see if their lives have related to the corresponding trump card of the Tarot, depending on the deck. For those born on a date such as 1/1, (“meta-one”), the 1sttrump of just about every Tarot deck is the Magi card, which would be advantageous to anyone born on that date. In my case, my having a “meta vibration” has been a curse, having a severe impact on my life, but is connected to more than just my birthday, which had the effect of tying me to the Hanged Man card; my name, which dehumanized me, due to my initials spelling the name of an animal (C.A.T.); and my adoptive mother, who, despite the fact that she never invested any time or love in me to speak of, always berated me and compared me to others in a negative way. These things had what is called a “butterfly effect” (a concept from chaos theory) in my life, hence the image to the right, from

Monarch Butterfly Cat

Monarch Butterfly Cat from http://www.tigerpixie.com

http://www.tigerpixie.com. There was definitely a purpose behind this curse. I cannot help but wonder if this Tarot curse is a way of artificially handicapping a select group of people, somewhat like what is described in the Kurt Vonnegut short story entitled, “Harrison Bergeron”, but in a metaphysical, rather than physical, way? Could I have been involved in the so-called “Monarch Program”? It is a hard truth to avoid, given that I have implants in front of each ear (photos below), and my whole life seems to have been orchestrated. I have found one other person born on my birthdate, who has also said he felt like his whole life was cursed. What must be noted is the effect of “self-fulfilling prophecies” on a person’s life. For example, when I was in the first grade, I scored in the top 2% of my class for IQ, but my mother gave me so much negative reinforcement when I was growing up, that I was lucky to graduate with a C average and a very low self-esteem, thus resulting in a self-fulfilling prophecy. Is it a coincidence that my mother’s maiden name was such that it became “Nay Gaeta” once she got married, and had a “negator” effect on my life? I mean, how many times can you call your child stupid before it begins to take a toll on your child’s IQ, which has already been artificially handicapped by what is illustrated in the below paragraph.

Reversed Polarity:

The following is an example of one way that this curse manifested itself in my life: When I learned how to write, I was made to be right-handed, against my, God-given, natural, inclination to be left-handed. I was a good kid, so when the girl teaching me how to write told that being left-handed was evil, I endeavored to be right-handed, in an effort to make sure I would not end up being evil. Studies in stroke victims have shown that a stroke in the left hemisphere of the brain affects something on the right side of the body, which in turn, shows how one hemisphere of the brain generally controls the opposite side of the body. Having me write against my God-given, natural tendency reversed my polarity, so to speak. This is evident in the fact that I was originally a very positive and loving child, but ended up as a negative punk by my teenage years. I have known several people who were allowed to keep their natural left-handedness, and I found them to have more tenacity, will power, and perseverance, which are gifts that I have found lacking in myself and others that I have met who were naturally left-handed, but were made to learn to write with the right hand. In fact, the people I know who, like me, were originally left handed forced to be right handed, have all the creative tendencies of most lefties, but have blocks that keep them from being able to express their creativity. My being a “lefty turned righty” is a manifestation of the reverse effect of the 12th trump, and it had a negative impact on my life.

I believe this forced change, against ones natural tendency to be left-handed, could have far-reaching implications, which have not truly been studied, to my knowledge. I believe it could possibly alter one’s destiny, and cause someone, who is originally a naturally positive person, to become a very negative one. Since it would obviously take some time for this effect to work on the mind of the child, they would never know why they became so negative, and would wind up blaming themselves for their feelings, thoughts, and behavior, but had they been allowed to retain their natural left-handedness, their life might have ended up quite differently.  Taken in combination with what I mentioned earlier, regarding a negative upbringing, it could have disastrous consequences on the development of an individual. This concept doesn’t even take the archetypal memes from the Tarot into account. I see this as a result of my own experiences and observations. Could it really be that difficult a concept to grasp? Did I not take the same psychology classes in school as my peers did? Did I not see the same studies about strokes and the brain that others have?

Perhaps my theory about left-handed people made to be right seems far-fetched. However, I think that the fact that a stroke in the left hemisphere of the brain affects something on the right side of the body is enough to warrant some sort of serious investigation into the subject. Even if only taken on a subliminal and metaphoric level, one has to consider that making someone be right-handed against one’s natural left-handed inclination would be, symbolically and literally, taking someone out of their “right mind”.

Archetypes and the Meta Effect:

I had lived most of my life, lacking any knowledge of archetypes, symbolism, astrology, the Tarot, metaphysics, etc., yet these things still had a huge impact, effecting various events in my life, including, but not limited to: the way my own adoptive mother treated me, the way doctors treated me, the way friends and relatives treated me, and the way employers treated me, despite the fact that I was usually the best producer at my jobs. I always assumed that my negativity was the result of a lack of parenting, or me missing my father’s presence in my life. While those circumstances certainly contributed to my emotional problems, I can see how the archetypes installed in the Tarot had their metaphysical effect, not only on me, but also on my adoptive mother, due to her birthdate being 4/4. I believe it is the double digit birthdates that are the most influenced by the Tarot because they are what I would call “meta” birthdays, and are the most influenced by the trump cards. I use the term “meta” relating to the metaphysical, which means, “beyond the physical”.  For example, I would be a “meta-twelve”, and my mother would be a “meta-four”, no pun implied, although metaphorically, her life followed patterns in the 4th trump of the Thoth tarot deck too closely for it to be a mere coincidence, which is why I don’t blame her. I have noticed that those born closest to or on those double digit dates have lives closely reflected in the trumps of the tarot, but also in their corresponding court cards.

The Catholic Church and the Rosy Cross:

12th Trump from The Hermetic TarotThe image on the left is from the Hermetic Tarot. It also shows the upside-down ankh, and the serpent above (or below) the head of the figure. On the left of this card is an image of the Rosicrucian Cross, which is very similar to the image on the back of the Thoth deck. Given the word Rosicrucian means “Rosy Cross”, and their affiliation with the Catholic Church, it does not surprise me that, as stranger actually yelled out to me in the street in 2009, that I could’ve been sold into slavery. I believe that is very possible I was sold via my adoption though Catholic Charities, just to be made into a ritual sacrifice. While I cannot blame Catholic Charities directly, it becomes hard for me to deny that such a thing could’ve happened to me, especially when you realize that many people sell their children into experimental programs, and many agencies have been caught in child trafficking. In this card, from the Hermetic Tarot, is the trident symbol for Neptune, which is usually associated with the devil. Since my astrological planet is Jupiter, the fact that there is a symbol for Neptune in the 12th trump of this deck, tells me that someone purposely put the energy of Neptune near the already upside-down figure. The fact that I had a near drowning at 3 years old, and that many ritual abuse and monarch program victims experience a near drowning at that exact age, tells me that it is no stretch of the imagination to consider that I am the victim of ritual abuse, chosen precisely because of my birthdate, in connection with the various occurrences of that number in our culture, in the Bible, and in the Tarot. It is my understanding that the ritual drowning at 3 years old is done to open the child up to spirits and demons. There are over 1,000 Tarot decks in existence today, with untold printings of each deck.  In terms of quantum mechanics, the sheer number of those cards, with that upside-down vibration, would amplify the energy of that vibration, possibly affecting anyone born on this date, even if intent wasn’t involved. However, if someone intentionally used occult magic to tie an unwitting victim to specific cards and/or decks of the Tarot, while keeping the victim unaware of it, except on a subconscious level, the victim would inadvertantly attract negativity, never understanding the reason. They would always feel like something was terribly wrong in life, never really being able to pin point why. I cannot avoid the reality about the state of our world, regarding how natural resources are stolen from one country by another, and how corporations steal ideas and harm people, it is not too far of a jump to imagine someone using occult magic on a person, in order to cause a state of misery, thereby generating compelling and creative ideas in the subconscious to be gleaned from the victim and channeled to certain supported people in the music, television, and movie industries. It fits right in with the way so many very wealthy people have attained their wealth by profiting from other people’s suffering. If I had never seen these cards until my late thirties, how did they have such a strong impact on my personal life? Could it have something to do with Chaos Theory, Quantum Mechanics, and/or the Collective Subconscious?

The Fool:

If a person born on 1/1 has the attributes of the Magi card, a person born on 12/12 has the attributes of the Hanged Man card (renamed “The Dying God” in the Thoth deck), and a person born on 4/4 has the attributes of The Fool Card from the Thoth Tarotthe Emperor, then what birthdate comes closest to representing the Fool, whose number is 0? Could the 12/12, being the highest meta-birthdate on the current calendar, also be the fool? Could the vibration of the Fool card also manifest itself in the person born on 1/1, being the next meta-birthdate after the 12/12? What is odd to me is that many of the items displayed on this card apply to various issues in my life. In this image, I see the following items: the dove, which is supposed to mean “peace”, which is what I was trying to achieve; the horns, representing the implants in my head; the monarch butterfly, which should be obvious to he read, as it represents the Monarch program of mind control; the bluebird, representing the Bluebird mind control project and/or project Bluebeam; the sun right at the crotch, representing the burning/electrocution sensations in that area I suffer from; the DNA/lizard/winged disk, which has to do with everything I had been learning about, including that darned tattoo on my back; the character holding the crystal because I used to study crystals and work with them for energy healing; also holding the wheat, representing when I was learning about herbs ad their medicinal value; the bag of runes, which I had just begun to learn about; the gator at bottom, representing my mother whose maiden name was Gaeta; the grapes, representing either grapes of wrath or wine or both; the Tiger biting the leg, which is really strange because I have sensations on the left leg, as if something is biting or pinching me there; the flowers I don’t want to discuss; the two babies at the bottom represent two people enjoying the results of the pain I am suffering from, which from what I understand, are freemasons who have what is called “full access to the seether”, thus making me “the seether”. Those two babies are babies because they refuse to see the truth of how they are accessing their inspiration.

The OTO, the Cabbala, and the Rosy Cross:

Back of the cards from the Thoth Tarot deckWhen I lost everything, I was just beginning to really make an effort to make a positive change in my life. Knowing that I had serious, but subconscious issues in my life, I had to look inside myself to uncover what went wrong in my life, so that I could try to correct myself, not knowing about the curse I had been living under. Not satisfied with the way I was raised, I was determined to be better to my daughter, than my mother had the ability to be to me. It seems cruelly ironic that my whole life fell completely apart when, and the way, it did. It happened at a point when I first began to learn, apophatically, how I wanted to raise my own child, and it also happened right at the point that I began to have memories surface of the way I was mistreated. So that, when I made a conscious effort to become a better mother, my child was taken away from me, as if some force did not want me to change the negative pattern that had been set into motion long before I was even born. It seems like there has always been some force in my life, making sure that  would never have a fair shot in  life, tying me to this particular deck of cards, which sadly enough have the Rosicrucian Cross on the back of each card. To me, it seems obvious why the left arm of the cross is blue, and the right is red. Taken on a political level, the connotation is obvious. Taken on a verbal level, well, that connotation is obvious as well.

Here is a photo of the actual Rosicrucian Cross, which represents the struggle I am currently going through. Rosicrucian CrossWhile it obviously has some Christian symbolism behind it, I can see a Cabbalistic influence in the bottom, by the colors, as related to Malkuth. At the risk of sounding a bit vulgar, I must mention this in current terms, i.e. the word mal meaning:  Both crosses show blue on the left (right to the viewer), and red on the right, implying that red is “right”, and blue is “wrong”. So while the OTO, to which Crowley belonged, has the bottom of the cross as navy in color, the RC cross shows the same area as green, brown, olive, and black, which are the colors of the lowest sphere, kingdom, in the cabbala, which is Malkuth. Consider that name, and what the first syllable “mal” which carries a negative meaning (“bad, wrongful, or ill” from http://dictionary.reference.com) in almost every word in which it is the root, at least in the English language, which is the most accepted, language spoken, in most countries. Incidentally, one of the spheres of the Kabbalistic Tree is called “Chokmah”, which phonetically denotes a malefic intent, as in “choking ma”. What I think people don’t understand is the phonetic symbolism involved in mind control, in addition to symbolism. I remember an author, M. Tsarion, speaking of the group called the Atonists in relation to the number 10, which makes me think of how the Kabbalah shows the kingdom, Malkuth, as the 10th sphere (connotating that the atonists are ruling the so-called “kingdom”, a scary thought indeed); however it is still at the bottom. In the Cabalistic Tree there are either ten or eleven spheres. They often omit the 11th sphere, called Da’ath, which is connected to Knowledge. I have to wonder if they, like those who instigated the event on 9/11 which destroyed the twin towers in NY, as well as tower 7 (a number associated with God and luck), were involved in this, specifically because they do not want justice (the traditional 11th trump of the tarot) or knowledge to exist in our world. Considering how I have become targeted, I have to wonder if everyone involved in my targeting also feels Cabalistic Tree of Lifethis way- like they want no justice. The 11th sphere in the Cabalistic Tree of Life represents knowledge. Perhaps those targeting me, those involved in my smear campaign, do not want either knowledge (truth) or justice to prevail.

Missing God:

I had been missing God in my life, as well as my parents, and I had become a rather negative and dark teenager, which I believe, opened me up to something very negative. Because of my parent’s behavior, which contradicted the tenets of the bible, I grew up very confused about God. We went to church, but only until my parent’s divorce when I was 8 or 9 years old. Throughout my childhood, my parents were rarely around, leaving me in the care of various nannies, while my parents were still married, and left alone after their divorce, making me easily influenced by others, especially men. Untrusting of the Bible in general, due to its treatment of women, I had an overall, mistrust of religion. My state of misery in life led me to believe that perhaps God hated me and cursed me himself. After learning about the Tarot, specifically the 12th trump, and its uncanny connection to my life, which has been metaphorically upside-down, events and situations in my life began to make sense. I no longer believe that God has cursed me, and in fact, might’ve tried to protect me via the Bible, with the commandment regarding, “Graven Images”. It seemed to me like this had been done to me on purpose, to make me some sort of a sacrifice, because of what this curse eventually led me to do.

MK Ultra and the Serpent in the Tarot:

Ironically, when I consider my situation, I am reminded of a couple of songs by the band, aptly named “Muse”. These songs are “MK Ultra”, which describes a specific mind control program, and “Unnatural Selection”, because it seems like I was selected at birth, via a catholic adoption, so that my whole life could be engineered to keep me down, upside-down, and unconscious, unnaturally, so that some others could benefit from the emotional turmoil generated by such a state. I was being mentally and emotionally drained for real, meanwhile, I would see others being gifted with my own thoughts and feelings, and would watch them profit from my Hanged Man card from Ludovica Tarotsuffering. The image to the right, while not from a deck, is a painting done by Ludovica Wing Shuen Price, which seems to illustrate what I have been going through. Her work can be found here: http://www.elfwood.com/art/l/u/ludovica/the_hanged_man.jpg.html. Again, we see an upside-down ankh, the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility. The serpent, connected to the head of the Hanged Man card (the 12th trump) in at least 2 tarot decks, seems to have allowed either the serpent class, or Satan himself, to have direct access to my subconscious mind, on a metaphysical level. The fact that I have seen so many movies and television (tell-a-vision) shows, and have heard so many songs that have an uncanny relation to aspects of my life, tells me that this could very well be the case, regardless of how bizarre this may seem. While I love the music and the movies that show some of my own story (because it’s never the whole story), it still makes me angry to have been stolen from in this metaphysical way. So much has been stolen from me, that no monetary award could ever pay it back, although it sure would help.

It seems to me that Crowley and Harris, the creators of the Thoth tarot deck, and those who followed some of their patterns, were the cause of what could be a type of metaphysical slavery, caused by chaos magic, whereby the serpent (or serpent class), who is placed at the head of the victim in the 12th trump, has unauthorized access to all creative ideas and inspiration, brought about by the upside-down condition of the victim in this card, to be used and changed anyway the serpent/thief sees fit (through music, movies, and/or television), to make it less obvious to the victim that it represents some aspect of his or her life. Given what people now know about the amplification of a vibration, is it any wonder that someone born on 12/12 would have issues? What is worse is the fact that my numerology has me as an 11, which is supposed to be a so-called “master” number, but if your birthdate is 12/12 (which pushes the upside-down or reversed position), it becomes a bad combination. In the Tarot, the 11th trump was normally the “Justice” card, but in the Thoth deck it was changed to “Lust”. While I cannot point to the reason that I have been so closely tied to the Thoth deck, it seems to have had its impact on my life as well as my mother’s (4/4).

Metaphysical Rape Plus Implants Equals Scapegoat:

What is mentioned in the above paragraph, if even remotely applicable, is tantamount to what could be called “mind rape”, and is what I refer to as a “Meta Crime”. Yet, it is not the worst result of the precarious situation in which I was placed, at my birth and without my knowledge. The most disturbing effect of the circumstances of my life is that my turmoil eventually led me to do exactly what mind control, via programming and occult magic, had set me up to do. Before I continue, I must mention that I have discovered what I can only believe are possibly RFID implants (images below), one in front of each ear, because I am now hearing voices and receiving some sort of energetic vibrations through them. Is it possible that these two nodules in front of each ear helped to push me over the edge, by being conduits for subliminal messages, influencing my mind during my sleep? Was it not enough that I was living under this curse my whole life? It is a miracle that I didn’t end up much worse than I did. I say this at a time when, while there are actual murderers and rapists running free, private people who aren’t breaking any laws are now being electronically harassed and targeted by directed energy weapons. In this way, 2012 is turning out to be an upside-down year indeed. Below are photos of my RFID implants, which possibly helped to put me in the miserable situation I now find myself in today. Since I have discovered these implants, I have become a target of the most hideous nightmare, making me wonder if I was some unwitting participant in a government mind control program, whereby they were used to input subliminal messages into my mind during my sleep, possibly triggering me to do things that I wouldn’t have done, had I not been mind controlled.

Implant not shown until I pull back on my earImplant with circle to indicate locationImplant on left side with circle to indicate location

As you can see from the first two images, these implants cannot be seen until I lightly pull back on my ear. Voices coming through these implants tell me that I am a demon or the devil himself, saying that these things are horns. Well, if anything, I was made a scapegoat at birth, sold into slavery via a Catholic adoption, implanted, so that some nefarious force could then manipulate me into being emotionally damaged, and get those around me to believe that I am something I’m not: evil. I have had a professional psychologist try to tell me these things in my ears are keloids, but keloids are scars that are raised above the skin. Here is a photo to prove my point. Keloid Example

If they are implants, when were they implanted? If they aren’t implants, then what are they? I have heard voices coming through them since 2008, however, I have no idea of how long they have been there, and so they may have been influencing me on a subliminal level my whole life. Since I was held in custody of the agency for the first 6 weeks of my life, they may have been implanted very shortly after my birth. I was allowed to play in the woods by myself at the ages of 6 and 7, so I could have been abducted for the procedure during that time. It might have happened when I had my wisdom teeth removed when I was 17 years old, under a general anesthetic. However, it could have occurred much later, during a dental surgery in 2001 or during a cervical cone biopsy in 2004, both under general anesthetic. That being said, I believe I would have felt some pain in the area if they were put in at any time other than my birth. They say that babies don’t feel pain at birth. I believe this is a lie, and the truth is that babies feel pain and repress the memory of it. At any rate, it is very possible that I was under some form of post hypnotic suggestion when I made the gravest mistake of my life, for which I am continually begging God for forgiveness, on the grounds that I was not in my right mind when I did it.

My Gravest Mistake, Done While Searching for God:

What was the gravest mistake of my life? Dare I say it? I preface the admonition with the desire for the True and Just God to know everything behind such a rash decision: the fact that I felt so separated from God throughout my life; the fact that I had previously undergone certain traumas which had been repressed in my memory, but obviously had the effect of torturing my mind on the subconscious level; the fact that I was living under an occult curse my whole life; the fact that I was held in custody of Catholic Charities for the first 6 weeks of my life, causing attachment disorder; the fact that my God-given natural left-handedness was taken away from me; the fact that I never had any stable caregivers in my youth; the fact that I spent the second half of my childhood in a virtual “house of mirrors”; the fact that I was suffering from an attachment disorder caused by my adoption and the lack of parental influence; the fact that my own mother had me selling hotdogs at construction sites in a bikini, when I was 14 years old; the fact that I was raped when I was 16 years old by a man who was 21; the fact that my mother allowed me to be prosecuted for a crime I didn’t commit when I was 17; the fact that I had been mistreated by authorities and medical professionals throughout my life; the fact that I was implanted without my knowledge or consent; and the fact that I was overburdened with too many responsibilities, in an unaffordable and chaotic house after my daughter was born, which is when it happened… all of these things had an influence on causing me to make a huge mistake in my life, that would change everything. I bring these things to the surface in an effort to prove to God why I deserve forgiveness.

Of course, there are other variables involved in my decision. I was involved in an online spiritual group, which I now see was not quite that spiritual. I joined the group because I had been learning about Reiki and other energy healing modalities. It was called “Wingmakers for Humanity/Masters of the Shamballa 1024” (which is no longer active), and the leader, named June, was some sort of spiritual predator, who, after I had been in the group for about a year, posted that she was altering people’s merkabas and using a technique known as “mind-bending”. At one point, she even said she was “harvesting souls”, which is downright evil. Since then, I have heard of an online group known as “Freedom from Mindbenders”, which is now also no longer active (at my last check), which concerns me. I have to note here, that almost every female in that group was suffering from some sort of chronic pain. While in her group, this woman was sensitizing people to programming in movies, said she was doing energy work on people like Hillary Clinton (when she was running for president), and was encouraging members of the group to judge people for their behavior.

I had been searching for God, and reading all these things on the internet about how Enki was this Sumerian deity who loved human beings and wanted to help us. I had read an abundance of information, which convinced me, in my chaotic state, that the name “Satan” was a name given to the true God, by the false religion of Christianity, which has the history of The Crusades, in which people were tortured and murdered for their beliefs. I had also read about a location in the Middle East that was actually called “Satan”. Given that my whole life had been engineered by some very nefarious forces, to be aligned with the Thoth tarot without my knowledge, I was confused and easily misled. I signed a contract with this entity, believing that he would help human beings, including myself, to reach a connection with God. It seems to me that knowledge was kept from me my whole life by cursing me in this way, so they could later get me to sell myself out, by using symbolic and predictive programming, knowing that I would be seeking out the God I felt I had been missing my whole life.

I believe that none of this would have happened, had I not been so metaphysically tied to that tarot deck, and had I not been implanted with RFID chips in my ears, allowing for subliminal messaging. There are too many images in that deck that relate to my life in very specific ways for it to have been an accident. This is why I feel it was an occult curse put on me, as a newborn. Considering the fact that there is a serpent at the head of the figure on the 12th trump, tells me that someone knowingly allowed Satan to influence me throughout my life, without my knowledge.  I have been told that Satan cannot “steal” souls, but this is certainly what has happened in my case. This is why I am appealing to the True and Just God of the Universe, the one who loves truth, to see every one of the circumstances in my life that led me down the negative path, and to allow me into heaven, or at the very least, to not allow me to go to hell.

My Mother, The Emperor:

The Emperor card from the Thoth TarotMy mother was born on 4/4, and her birthdate tied her to the 4th trump of the Thoth deck, specifically. This image of the 4th trump shows various people in her life, symbolized by the figures surrounding the main figure, who is “The Emperor”. The two rams behind the figure represent the two Aries in my mother’s life, who supported her. My grandmother died and is shown in the transparent ram, while my father was still alive when my mother died, and is shown by the more opaque ram. The two, eight-point stars on either side of the emperor figure represent my brother and my cousin, both born on 8/4. The lamb at her feet must represent me, because I supported certain causes, such as the baby harp seals, and the environment when I was young, and this is shown by the flag. The ball in the emperor’s hand is represented in my mother’s life by the fact that she was an avid, trophy-winning bowler. This is a powerful figure, and my mother had power in her life, seemingly attracting whatever she needed. Near the end of her life, she was driving a Cadillac, bought for her by an ex-boyfriend. In this card, she is looking away from me, and I am on the floor, at her feet, symbolic of how she always put me down, even as a small child, but never invested much time in me, to help me grow up to become someone she could be proud of. Is it a coincidence that the figure on the 12th trump has their legs folded in the position of the number four? Is the poor victim in the 12th trump trying to tell people that the Emperor is responsible? If my mother never saw these cards, or was not an adept in the occult, how did they have such an exacting impact on her life? Could it have something to do with the sheer number of these decks in print, in relation to the collective consciousness?

The Devil was Screwing Me (Pardon my French):

The following is another example of how this Tarot curse manifested in my life: I was an aspiring artist, who had enough talent to be given an art scholarship by the instructors at the school I was attending. Given the fact thatOne of Three Magi Cards from Thoth Tarot my initials spell CAT, I find it cruelly ironic that my career and my life were destroyed by a fellow student with the last name of “Skinner”, when she introduced me to a drug called heroin. I would eventually see her steal my ideas, and use them for her own advancement. Additionally strange is how this person, who helped to destroy my career, looks suspiciously like the person on one of the three Magi cards of the Thoth deck. The card I am speaking of, to the right, is the one with a woman standing behind an image of a winged disk, so that it is directly in front of her crotch. The winged disk looks suspiciously like a tattoo I have on my back, which alludes to the fact that this woman “screwed” me. When I got the tattoo done, I had not yet been aware of the winged disk or its connection to Egyptian or Sumerian lore. Was I mind controlled into getting that tattoo, so that it could be used against me later?

The Devil card from the Thoth TarotWith that in mind, and the way the 12th trump of the same deck has the serpent connected to the head of a victim, please take a look at the next image with the consideration of an intended satanic influence over a victim’s mind. This image is the 15th trump of the Thoth deck, which is called “The Devil” card. To the left of this card is a shadow that strangely reminds me of the Millenium Falcon in the Star Wars movies, and to the right, is a shadow that reminds me of a pose I have seen of Kate Bush, wherein she is perched upon something in just such a position. The winged disk, which looks suspiciously like to my tattoo, is directly in front of the devil character. Regardless of the meanings of these cards in a personal Tarot reading, each time someone sees these cards, as with any image or symbol, the deeper, metaphysical meaning of it is subconsciously inserted into the mind. This is what might have happened to James Holmes when he saw the Lil Wayne Video of his song appropriately called, “My Homies” (photo at top of document). This concept then begs the question: “Is it possible that every time someone views these cards, they also go into the collective subconscious, along with their intended subversive meaning, created by an occult theocracy?”

Abandoned, and The Trauma Begins:

Things had been looking up in 2008, or so I thought. After a lifetime of disappointments, including the loss of my art career, I was finally finding my niche, or so I thought. I was writing articles for a company that sold crystals on the internet, a job which I truly loved, even though I wasn’t paid what most article writers were getting at the time. While most people writing articles on the internet were getting up to $700.00 per article, I was lucky to get, at most, $60.00. Still, I loved and appreciated my job very much, and it allowed me to stay home with my daughter, who was around 2 years old when I started that job.

In less than two years, everything came crashing down, and I found myself living in a foreclosed house, with no power or water, in acute and constant physical pain. The cause of this was the fact that in 2008, I began to hear voices that told me I was a kind of “Virgin Mary” and that I would receive an immaculate conception from God (funny how I played the Virgin Mary in a school Christmas pageant when I was around 7 years old). I know it sounds crazy, but given those photos of the implants in my head, it doesn’t seem so crazy anymore. At one point, I actually could feel something inside of me, making me believe it had actually happened, but was told that an archangel did it to me. Was I programmed by the Catholic religion, when I was too young to remember, for this to happen to me later in life? Like a fool, I began to tell certain people that I thought it was really happening. Of course they all thought I was crazy. The voice told me that it would come and get me, but that eventually, we would all get together again, with our correct soul-mates. My packing my things in preparation for this was what pushed Jerome over the edge and made him have me Baker Acted. I found myself in a state-run mental facility. I felt like my mind was falling apart. Jerome would try to have me locked up three times, which would then cost me my job.

My psychosis was artificially induced by these voices through the implants. Later, after being abandoned in that house, the voice would then convince me that I was some kind of Jesus and had to be sacrificed. Then they would tell me I was an angel. All of that reminds me now of a band called “Jesus and the Mary Chain”. When that was happening, I was not yet aware of the occult curse, under which I had been living, and how it caused me to make the gravest mistake of my life. Once Jerome left, the house went into foreclosure, the power and water eventually were shut off. I was then only able to see my daughter once a month.

As I lived in that house, with no power or water, for at least 2.5 years beginning at the end of 2008, I was suffering the worst pain of my life. During the first 3 months of it, I was literally on the floor screaming. The pain started in September, and in October, I went to a neighbor’s house to call an ambulance. It was at this point, when I began to notice how people in the medical profession were mistreating me, and had been, even when I was younger. Apparently, I had sublimated those memories, because I didn’t want to believe that my whole life had been orchestrated in this way. In the emergency room, that day, I was told that, although I didn’t have a venereal disease, they were going to treat it like one and send me home.

At that time, I was going to a clinic, to try to get some help. I was in solid pain, and in order to get rides, I had to kiss one of my neighbors, which was debasing. Sometimes, marijuana would help my pain, but the only way I could get some was to kiss a neighbor. Currently, I am not on any type of pain relievers and refuse to do anything illegal, despite my severe and constant pain.

While I was living in the foreclosed house, I had to collect rain water in storage bins, to keep myself relatively clean. I could only eat items that did not need to be refrigerated, and kept a few things that were refrigerated at neighbor’s houses. When I did cook, I had to use a gutted toaster oven, with the pan or pot on top, and a fire of newspaper and tree limbs inside the gutted part. In the hottest weather, I had to wear only bra and underwear with windows wide open to ward off heat exhaustion. Who knows who might’ve been peering in those windows. In the coldest weather, I had to sleep with at least twenty candles burning, to keep from freezing. I inhaled allot of smoke during those times, and suffered a great deal of trauma, including the event where I was terrorized by a helicopter for a solid half an hour in the middle of the night. I would collect decent items that were being thrown out to sell at garage sales to make a few bucks to survive off of. Once in a while, on the coldest nights, a neighbor would let me stay on his couch, but only if I kissed him, which was humiliating and added to the traumatic effect of the whole experience.

It was during this time that I was hearing voices, making me believe that God was talking to me. I was so miserable at that time because I felt abandoned by everyone. My own mother wouldn’t let me come and stay with her. I am not blaming her, because I know people thought I was crazy. I heard a voice tell me to purchase the Thoth Tarot, which I did after some garage sales to work up the money. When I began to look at those archetypes, I realized that my whole life seemed cursed by them. As I mentioned above, it is as if all those decks, with their archetypal memes being digested by all those people, further infected the collective unconscious and intensified the Hanged Man’s deleterious effect on me in the more recent years. I see this as one of the biggest reasons why the Bible states “No Graven Images”: Because these graven images become archetypes, which then engraved onto the collective unconscious, and effectively destroy (or at least hinder) many people’s freewill. Unfortunately, most people do not read the commandment that way.

It was also during that time when I felt like something was etherically raping me. It seemed to do something to my mind. The voice told me it loved me and would come to rescue me soon. I don’t know if I was being poisoned, if the implants were working on my subconscious mind during my sleep and my conscious mind when I was awake, or how they were able to mess my head up so much, but they did. Every day while I was living in absolute poverty with hardly any money to my name, I would hear the voice of someone I truly admired saying they were coming to rescue me. It was always, “I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise”, or “I’m coming tonight, don’t worry”, but the rescuer never showed, and I felt more and more like committing suicide, but knew that I couldn’t. So it seems in my case, mind control had been done on me using both the occult and technology.

I Hope God Loves the Truth:

Given what has happened and what is still happening to me, I feel I am being attacked by demonic entities, yet part of me thinks that this isn’t about God, religion, demons, or about anything spiritual. I say this because the Bible speaks of God loving the Truth. If this were true, then I would not be suffering in this way right now. If God really does love the truth, then that being would not allow me to suffer eternally because of what some very cruel and adept people designed, using the tarot. It is very possible that the conspiracy theorists are correct in that there is a certain portion of the population that is being culled, sold at birth, often through adoption, as sacrifices to some very nefarious beings out there. By putting implants in our heads, they could easily influence us throughout our sad lives, on a subliminal level, during our sleep, so that we would never have any tangible proof of the fact that we have been victims of some very evil program. We were selected at birth, to be cursed and mistreated, so that we would eventually become negative, so that certain people could then justify writing us off later on, handing our names over to those they call “gang-stalkers”. I have come to this conclusion after being in contact with several individuals, who have been suffering just as I have, who have spoken about their parents, being overheard having meetings with some people who then argued about said child, behind closed doors. I personally am aware that my adoptive father had some secretive dealings, in which he would turn off the dome light in the vehicle, before opening the door to get out for a meeting with someone, which tells me this might be the case for me as well. This tells me that the so-called game was always fixed, and that certain people were allowed to reap benefits from those of us who were suffering at the hands of the occult theocracy, which used occult, metaphysical strategies, in addition to orchestrating circumstances in the victim’s life, such as, dealing with authorities and doctors.

In my case, my interactions with authorities included a record from my life that was supposed to have been expunged, since I had met all the requirements in order to do so, yet years later, I found that it had not been expunged. Regarding doctors, I remember seeing a doctor who gave me a pelvic exam for stomach problems, and then left the speculum in for 45 minutes, while he left the exam room. More recently, I went to the emergency room for severe pelvic pain, and they recorded “belly pain”.

Pope with Upsidedown Cross

Beginning to notice a pattern here?

The Vatican denies there is any negative intent involved in the use of this upside-down symbol (of course), by saying it represents the crucifixion of St. Peter, however, it is my contention that the use of this symbol in this position, which is seen by millions of people who visit the pope, exemplifies and amplifies the upside-down nature of religion in general, but especially when it is an organization so involved in child-trafficking as the Catholic Church is. Being adopted through a Catholic agency, and knowing how the Catholic church has been indicted recently for child-trafficking, I cannot ignore the possibility that I was indeed sold into slavery to be some part of a very nasty plan, designed to keep certain people from having any true freewill, which means that the contract I signed was not done of my freewill, and therefore, I cannot legally or spiritually, be held liable. The ends do not justify the means, in my opinion, and it goes against God’s will and/or natural law, in that human beings are supposed to have freewill, a quality that I was never truly given.

There are those in this world who speak of “Christ consciousness”. What happens when one tries to embody such a thing? While much of my life was lived negatively, as a result of this whole upside-down vibration enforced upon me with intent, when I did truly try to embody this thing called “Christ consciousness”, something, some energy came in, as if to try to stop me from being the good I so wanted to be.

Double Bind – Double Cross:

There is something common in mind control programming called a “double-bind”. From Dictionary.com: “Psychology- it is a situation in which a person is given conflicting cues, especially by a parent, such that to obey one cue is to disobey the other.” From www.laingsociety.org: “A second variation of the double bind involves a situation in which a person is chastised for a correct perception of the outside world. In this situation the child will learn to distrust his own sensory awareness in favor of the parent’s assessment of the situation. One example would be the child who is raised in a violent household but is expected to see his parents as loving and peaceful. In later life this person will have a difficult time determining how to behave appropriately in a variety of situations. Indeed, this person will spend an inordinate amount of energy trying to decipher exactly how he “should” interpret the situation.”

For more information on how symbolism has been used to destroy lives, please see Michael Tsarion’s video entitled, “The Subversive Use of Sacred Symbolism”. Then please notice how the person delivering the lecture is wearing a double cross, and what that might mean. In this lecture, he states that studying the tarot can both help and harm people. By studying what are truly graven images, these people are amplifying an energy that sacrifices people who do not deserve to be sacrificed. They may not even realize what is happening, for all I know. Keep in mind, that while I greatly admire his work on one hand, I now have a deep mistrust of those with any amount of authority, even if only on an intellectual level.

Life on Life’s Terms Without Freewill:

I would add to this, that there is a fundamental double-bind problem in the Bible, for any Christians who think that believing in Jesus as the “son of God” will save them. The Torah has set rules for living, including ritual blood sacrifice. Christians believe that Jesus was the last blood sacrifice, and there is no need for the practice anymore. Therefore, the person who is being triggered constantly by monarch-type programming, to believe that they are a ritual sacrifice, might feel that the way things are set up is unfair, and that they have not been granted freewill. This feeling will be called blasphemy by those involved in gang-stalking or using electronic harassment against the victim, using the bible as the standard. The victim of a set-up, such as the 12th trump could have never truly had freewill because their whole life has been upside-down, making it impossible for them to “live life on life’s terms” so-to-speak, because life’s terms have been completely skewed for them, which makes this a DOUBLE-BIND. Having a person metaphorically and metaphysically upside-down, allowing the serpent to drain them of the fruits of their labor (being attached to their head), is slavery on a level unknown to those who are not adept in the occult.

The Tarot, with the 12th trump, also advocates such a thing, especially in the Thoth, and Hermetic decks, where there is a serpent (representing the serpent class), sucking all creativity and inspiration out of the head of the upside-down person, which ends up in multiple songs, T.V. shows, movies, in various forms.

In the Thoth deck, the 12th trump is also called “The Dying God”. Does this show a Neitzche-esque negative and subversive occult intent?

For more information on the use of symbolism in mind control, please see Michael Tsarion’s video on the subject, with discerning eyes. While he brings attention to a serious subject, I differ from his point of view High Priestess Card from the Rider-Waite Tarotregarding
a few things, the most notable being A) the Egyptian hieroglyph for female is
most certainly not an image of a serpent (which is what I have seen him say in
one of his lectures, rather it is an image of a female, sitting down; and B)
the tarot could not have influenced the Torah, since the tarot has only been
around since the 1600s at the earliest, and the Torah is believed to have been
written around 1450 BCE. The image to the right is the High Priestess card from the Rider-Waite deck, which was first published in 1901. That being said, the video, “The Subversive Use of Sacred Symbolism”, which can be found on YouTube, is packed with information about symbolism, which is how I first became aware of the symbolic aspect of Mind Control.  As a result of the so-called “sacred” symbolism of the Tarot, I have found that my life lacked any true freewill. I have to ask myself the following question: Did the amplified vibration of the Tarot, due to so many printings of these graven images, in relation to my birthday and my numerology cause me to become reversed from my natural tendencies, even as a child (i.e. lefty turned right)? It certainly had an effect on my mother. At the risk of being labeled by those who support astrology and Tarot, it seems to me that, for anyone to truly have freewill, we would have to abolish both the Tarot as well as the astrological signs as applied to birthdates, to avoid the unnatural archetypal transference that seems to infect many. While they may indeed be interesting works of art, I have seen how they had negative effects on me as well as others. Looking back on my own life, I know that I created some very angry and therefore ugly art, possibly as a direct result of being metaphorically upside-down. So, as a result of the graven images that affected me, I also created graven images, for which I am truly sorry. An interesting side note here is that my original sign would have been Ophiuchus, which is a very strong sign, and had it not been removed from the zodiac, I might have had more of a chance against this curse.

Ophiuchus: The MIssing Constellation

A Remedy, Anyone?:

So what is the remedy for such a thing? I have read numerous articles stating that freewill is an illusion. In my case, this certainly seems true. I have been suffering as a result of my lacking any true freewill, due to the graven images of the Tarot. If there is no freewill, then a reasonable, true, and just God would not hold the victim of such a curse responsible for their reactions to this curse. In fact, I would venture to say that the reactions were involved in the agenda for creating the Tarot in the first place. Creating, and placing such importance on, these archetypes would seem to destroy freewill with pervasive memes. I would hope that in the end of it all, all would be forgiven, since no one, especially living in the years surrounding and including 2012, which have been affected by the negative memes resulting from possibly millions of printings of the 12th trump, the Hanged Man, or Dying God in the Thoth deck.

Despite the facts surrounding my adoption through a catholic agency and the fact that the Catholic Church has been indicted for child trafficking, I have so far been unable to get any help from so-called victims advocate groups online. There seems to be a great deal of money in making people into ritual sacrifices, because it seems like every official or representative has been bought off in some way, to keep people like me from getting any real help. I seem to be living in some sort of occult nightmare, in which those people, who are in positions to help people like me, do not care to do so.

By the way, this:

Ophiuchus: The MIssing Constellation

Is also this:

The Dying God

I welcome any suggestions for a remedy, given my situation. What I am suffering is not unlike what the hero is going through in the book called, “Tales of the Ubermensch”, which can be found here: http://www.talesoftheubermensch.com

For more detailed information on the symbolism of the Ankh, please see the following website: http://www.holoweb.net/~liam/pictures/ankh/ankh.html

For some really good information on the “double bind” concept, please see the following Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind

Tags: 12th trump, Hanged Man, Occult, Ritual Sacrifice, Decalogue, Lil Wayne, “My Homies”, Graven Images, Colorado Shooting Theatre, Batman Premiere Shooting, Symbolism, 2012, Meta, metaphysical, mind control, Ankh, Sacred Symbolism, “Subversive use of Sacred Symbolism”, metaphysical sabotage, metaphysical tyranny, muse, mu, sic, music is two words, English language and symbolism, Tarot, Satanism, Ritual Abuse, Satanic Ritual Abuse, metaphor, Spiritualism, Chaos Theory, Quantum Theory, Butterfly Effect, Crowley, Thoth, Rosicrucian, Hermetic, Ludovica, spiritual torture, Occult Magic, Occult Theocracy, Double-Bind, Metaphysical Rape, Mind Rape, Spiritual Rape


Meta Crime

Meta Crime:

The Muse has been Misused as a Human Sacrifice

At the end of this paper is a numbered list, for those who receive this and do not have the time to read the whole story. I beg you to please read it before dismissing this text. I just want someone to see the truth before I die.

Meta- “about, after, beyond, or behind”. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta and also http://www.thefreedictionary.com/meta-

I have seen the following definitions in paperback dictionaries and on the internet:

Mu- “12th letter of the Greek alphabet”.

Sic- “as written”, “intentionally so written”, also “ill” or “unwell”.

As Oscar Wilde said: “Life imitates art far more than art imitates life”, but if your birthday happens to fall on 12/12, your life may imitate art, music, movies, and literature far more than you or anyone around you might want to admit.

Now take a look at the following image:

The Hanged Man Rider Waite

Most so-called “spiritualists” would admit that an intent can be amplified by repitition. There are at least 1000 various tarot decks which have an upside-down figure as the 12th trump, and at least three decks showing a serpent somehow connected to that figure’s head. There have to be at least a million printings of the Thoth deck, which has that configuration. This has created a negative metaphysical effect not only in my life, but also in the life of one other person I have met with a 12/12 birthdate.

I have heard it said that human beings have a problem “living life on life’s terms”, which I have heard said about myself as well. Above is the image of The Hanged Man card of the Rider-Waite Tarot, also called The Hanged Traitor. I ask you to consider what “life on life’s terms” would mean to someone was tied to this card via black magic. This person has been metaphorically upside-down all their lives, and was therefore betrayed the very moment of birth. I believe that this card is used on individuals with a particular birthdate/numerology, to manipulate them into being negative people so they can justify demonizing them. I may be killed or imprisoned for writing this, but I am already wishing I had never been born, because in a way, I have already been imprisoned, for I have been living in pain and fear for almost four years now. I feel like I am literally being tortured with the pain, V2K voices, and what is known as gang-stalking. I urge anyone reading this to look up an online book called The Silent Massacre, which describes some of the things above that are happening to me, proving that I am not lying. Two very compelling reasons I am concerned that I won’t be alive much longer is that: 1) the author of Hell Minus One, Anne Johnson-Davis, has recently died, and many believe she was killed for talking about what happened to her; and 2) my health has gone down hill considerably over the past three years, ever since I started to talk about what happened to me. I believe that I am not dead already is because killing me off so soon would look too suspicious. Consider it the dying wish of the victim of a “metacrime” that you read this, if only so that someone knows of my plight, since my health has declined rapidly, and especially in the past three months (as of 3/11/2012).

The image of the 12th card of the major arcana of the Rider-Waite tarot deck speaks to the problem I’ve cited in the definitions of the words Mu and Sic, on which I will elaborate later. In almost every tarot deck, and certainly in the large majority of them, this card is shown as an upside-down figure. I believe this to be a pattern, which I also see in Aleister Crowley’s statement that Love should be under Will (mistaken because I know that the chakras of the human body have the heart chakra, love, above the solar plexus, will) was most likely designed to create a desired effect on people, to make everything upside-down. The tarot, however, seems to effect people with a certain birthdate (me and my adoptive mother for instance), and the way others regard them. In most decks, the 12th major arcana card is known as the Hanged Man, or the Hanged Traitor, causing anyone associated with this card to be upside-down and viewed negatively, if even only as a liar, which I believe to be part of mind control pattern, created by black magicians, causing the person represented by the character in that image to be literally upside-down, so they can easily be preyed upon like domesticated animals. This fact is even more disturbing when one sees that my initials spell the name of a domesticated animal. While it seems like some sort of deranged and inhumane sport, it is really not very sporting, since the victim isn’t even given half a chance. Incidentally, my initials are C.A.T., and I have to wonder if there is some D.O.G. out there who is going through a similar situation.

I write this to prove that I was manipulated into “dedicating my soul to Satan” against my will. I say “against my will” because I have heard voices say that my soul was “given freely”, but it was not, because I do not believe I ever truly had “freewill” in the first place, as you will see if you read on, but especially if you consider that I was specifically tied to the 12th Trump of the Thoth deck, showing an unconscious person hanging upside-down from an upside-down ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life and fertility, causing me to view life and fertility in a decidedly skewed way, while the serpent at the head of the figure could either represent Satan or the “serpent class”:

The Dying God

Again, I remind the reader of the call of some to “live life on life’s terms”, yet no one addresses what exactly this entails. Living “life on life’s terms” would include freewill, something I have been lacking my whole life, but didn’t know it until more recently. I have heard people tout the virtues of living in a free market economy, and even a free country, but how do they know that either is truly free, when so many are suffering? Could this suffering be engineered so that others could enjoy watching it? Better yet, could it be so that others could profit from it?

I feel that Oscar Wilde’s sentiment that “life imitates art far more than art imitates life” must be considered when it is an art, such as the tarot, that has had an impact on so many people whether they know it or not, because these decks were created by masters of the occult long before any of us were born. Unfortunately for me, life imitates art, and most of the art I see on television (the most widely ingested art form out there), paints a very bad picture of the ones established as targets, so that everyone around them will view them as some sort of criminal, even though they are not; they are the unfortunate victims of a hideous crime, designed to make them look like whatever those in control desire.

What I am talking about here is Mind Control and Ritual Abuse (MC/RA) on a metaphysical scale, one that includes, but is not limited to, the typical MC/RA patterns that I have seen posted about on the internet. By using an adoptee, the victim is easily isolated later in life. Although there is no excuse for this kind of spiritual and metaphysical manipulation throughout one’s life, the perpetrators rationalize that it’s all right to do this to a newborn baby, because it is really just “a bastard”. They use a female because they are more vulnerable, making what was done to me even more insidious.

Individually, the following information may not amount to much, but when taken into account together, it cannot be ignored that this has been done on purpose, to make a victim out of a newborn child. The only reason I can imagine anyone doing this to a newborn baby (which is when it began), is to make some sort of sacrifice, but I was not really willing, because I was being manipulated throughout my whole life and never knew it. What was stolen from me the very day I began my life is something that cannot be repaid completely. By mind controlling me into making the supposed “deal with the devil” when I believed I was aligning myself to a higher power, those who have stolen my life from me, since the beginning of it, think they are getting out of paying me back for all they have stolen from me.

As it stands, I am not making any kind of profit from my story. I submit this to you in the hopes that someone will know the truth, and perhaps help me on a spiritual or metaphysical level. You see, when I began to learn about what has happened to me, I was cut off from the internet, thus making it next to impossible for me to research what happened to me, or to get my story out. I have had to put myself in harms way just to do the research to discover what has been going on my whole life.

I cannot believe that God would do this to a human being, despite what I have read in the bible concerning bastards. Considering what I have seen in the tarot, I now realize that it couldn’t be God, as it could have only been certain occultists that set this whole situation up in the first place, as if to be the privileged spectators of some horrible game of human sacrifice, somewhat similar to what the Aztecs were reported to have done, but worse, because it is done on a subliminal level.

I remember being about six or seven years old when I had the following concept: “What if everything we see before us isn’t truly real and it is actually some sort of façade that someone else wants us to see, blocking out the true reality?” About 25 years later, I would see that concept in a movie called The Matrix. I believe the reason I had this concept was because on some deeper level, I felt that what I was being told to me about life and the reality were lies. They were lies designed to make me feel responsible for every success and failure in my life, when the reality is that I never had any real control over my own destiny, as I will show below.  

I keep hoping that one day, I will wake up and my nightmare will be over, and while the pain has only been happening to me for almost four years, I now realize that on many levels, this has been happening to me my whole life. Lest you think I am a liar, please remember that history has been written by the winners, but that doesn’t make that history the truth. I submit to you that not only has our accepted history been spun to us with a biased slant, but that it also has an effect on the future in a way that is only known to those who engineer that history.

I am pretty sure that everyone knows that the word “government” means “control of the mind”, as I have heard the author, Michael Tsarion say in an interview. It is pretty easy to see that the word “govern” means control, and the word “ment” refers to the mind. Beyond that fact, I will show how our entire language has been manipulated to control people to think, believe, and behave in certain ways desirable to those in power; both in the microcosm and the macrocosm of our culture (notice the word “culture” has the word “cult” in it, for example). This means that language can: not only effect a person’s beliefs to their own detriment; but it can also shape they way a group of people think about an individual, such as what occurs in gang-stalking, for example. In this paper, I prove how not only language was used to effect me in particular, but how tarot cards and the bible, two seemingly oppositional objects, have been used with my particular numerology against me, and I can only assume, many others like me. After reading this, you the reader may decide to examine these topics to see how you have been affected as well. For example, Pythagorean Numerology shows my numbers to be 22, 11, and 8. One look at the #11 card of the Thoth deck shows something that happened to me, causing a major trauma to my spirit:


“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way” (from the movie, Who Framed Rodger Rabbit)

This particular detail, which I experienced while alone in a foreclosed house with no water or power, felt like etheric rape to me. The fact is that, in most tarot decks, this card is usually the “Justice” card:


This tells me that Crowley had something disturbing in mind when he created his deck; that he did not want to see any true concept of justice in the world because he preferred the whole concept of “Do what thou wilt”, without any accountability for causing so much damage to people down the line. Something else that must be considered is the fact that 9/11 could mean “no justice”, when you see that nine means “no” in German, and the original meaning of the last card shown was “Justice”.

What has happened to me in total, can only be described as a spiritual torture, done on a metaphysical level, causing the victim (me) to misunderstand almost everything in life, including the whole concept of God, and it caused me to be manipulated enough to make a contract to Satan, thinking that Satan was God, which is why I believe it was not done of my own true free will, as I will prove in the following paragraphs. Before this happened, I was learning the healing art of Reiki, which should tell you that I had a higher purpose in mind; one of healing others. I had been achieving a metanoia in my life, and was making every effort to become a better person when events in my life took a disturbing turn, which includes the V2K voices, the DEWs, and gang-stalking, which can be further studied in the e-book, The Silent Massacre, as mentioned. The fact that someone else has written about these things, and that there is a legal case currently pending about those three things I just mentioned, tells me that I am not a liar. There are other victims besides myself.

To the reader, in case I don’t survive: my story might make a good screenplay, even if it is done postmortem, or if I am imprisoned, as I have heard one of these vicious “voice to skull” (known as “V2K” online) voices say more recently. I have also heard them say that they would make a liar out of me, but I swear on all that is sacred that I am telling the absolute truth, and if one reads what I have written here, they will see that it is the truth, because it simply cannot be denied: the facts are just too compelling to ignore.

Let it be known that, before I began to get vocal about what I discovered, I had a completely steady work history, despite the unbearable sadness in my life (the reasons for which I now understand). It now seems that I’ve been blacklisted, keeping me from having money and insurance (therefore I cannot protect my health or hire a lawyer), and making it easy for people to label me as a user, and a bum, so no one would care about what happens to me. As I mentioned earlier, before things became really bad for me, I was studying Reiki and other forms of energy healing, and I was searching spiritually. Previously, I had not been the most spiritual person in my life, but I was changing in a positive way, so I find it ironic that these things began to happen to me during this time in my life. The more spiritual part of me begs the question: What if on the “meta” level, this is a moral test for those who are and have been demonizing me?

I have been in extreme, physical pain for over three years now, which feels like glass, knives, or electricity in my female parts, with strange contractions and swelling, and I just don’t know how much longer I can stand it. I have felt the pain of something being pushed up under my toenails and fingernails, which could be a flashback according to the research I have done online about Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) flashbacks. However, I have also felt hotspots in various parts of my body, which could be what I have heard described as Directed Energy Weapons (DEWs), which have been mentally and physically torturing me. The attacks are a backlash because I started to talk online about what I’ve been going through. Recently, I felt something go right through my eyeball. The “V2K” voices have said that this is happening because “I sin”, but had I been allowed to live a “relatively normal” life, with actual freewill, from the beginning, I would have been more moral, and I wouldn’t have ever felt the need for the escape I have craved my whole life. Let it be known that I am currently taking only nonprescription pain relief at the moment, even though it does not work very well on my pain, which I can accurately say, feels like some sort of amplified “tens unit” delivering shocks and causing contractions inside my vagina.

Before continuing, I ask you to imagine the life of Pit Bulls, how they are raised, and how most end up. I am actually a living miracle, when you consider the fact that I didn’t wind up a serial killer or something. I am actually a living miracle when you consider that I am not currently using any illegal drugs, and have I not been arrested, or convicted of any crime for over ten years, arrested only twice in my life, and for nonviolent crimes. I also ask you to consider the fact that I love my daughter, enough to come back to live with a man who cost me my job, took my daughter away from me, abandoned me in a foreclosed house, and blamed me for everything (even though I warned him not to move there). I came back to him just so I could try to take care of my daughter better than I was taken care of by my own mother. I do not say this to attack the character of my ex. Perhaps he is unconscious of the repercussions of his behavior towards me; perhaps not. It is important to keep in mind that this is a man who grabbed me, threw me on the ground, and then called the cops on me, accusing me of being the abuser. Because I had only my mother who was not living nearby, and my brother and father living out of state, it was very easy for my ex to blame me for everything.

My mother was a gambler and my father was a drinker, but these types of issues are common to many adults in this world today. The difference in my story is that much of the damage to me occurred before and when I was born, but took years to take effect on me. Even though I was originally a very bright (top 2% of my class) and loving child, what happened to me mad me a very negative person in the long run. Then, just at a time in my life when I was purposefully trying to change to a positive outlook on life, something horrible happened to me, causing me a terrible pain that has caused me to change in a negative way. Before all of this happened, I had a good job, and took good care of my daughter, despite what others might say after I’m gone, because, as most people know by now, and as I’ve mentioned before, history is written by the winners.

It began, probably, with a Catholic agency involved in human trafficking (through which I was adopted, and I have the certificate to prove it). I am not blaming the agency as a whole, but I am indicating that there were some people involved in what happened to me. By finding a pregnant woman, who would be due to give birth sometime in January, and then inducing her so that I would be born, as a premature baby (as most ritual abuse victims are), it would be easy to then program me while I was still in custody of the agency. By holding the child, in custody of the adoption agency, with no parental bonding, for the first six weeks of life (born 12/12/1967, adopted 1/22/1968), it caused an abandonment syndrome, right from the start. I have seen studies done on monkeys, showing this psychological effect. I believe it is very possible that these lumps in front of each ear, which I think are some sort of radio-frequency chip, could have been implanted when I was a newborn. My adoptive mother (my father being away on business trips for most of my childhood) left me alone more often than not during the whole of my childhood, leaving me, the victim, feeling completely unloved throughout childhood, making it very easy for me to be influenced by future boyfriends, since I lacked the necessary father figure. As you read on, however, you will see that my parents were the least of my worries.

I say that I am the victim of a “metacrime”, because I believe it has been happening on metaphysical, metaphoric, spiritual, and also physical levels. This was designed not only to make sure I had no success in this life, but also to make sure that I would make a so-called “deal with the devil”, even though I didn’t think of it as a deal, per se, because I thought I was aligning myself to a higher power, which isn’t hard to believe when you consider that I had been figuratively hanging upside-down for my whole life.

It is known that certain dates are important to the illuminati, and that they will induce labor on a woman, say a woman who is being used as a breeder, to be sure of a specific birthdate. For me, that birthdate is 12/12, a number not only significant in the Tarot, but also prominent in the Bible, as well as in everyday life, as in a 12 pack of beer, for example. The high visibility of the number 12 in our culture allowed certain men to manipulate my ego in a negative way, making me feel that I was special in some way, so that I would then be an easy target to be controlled by some very malevolent people. In most tarot decks, the 12th card of the major arcana denotes sacrifice, but I feel it implies something much worse. Notice the 12th card of the major arcana of the Thoth Tarot deck, called “The Hanged Man”, but also called the “Dying God” in The Book of Thoth. In this card, the figure is upside-down, pinned down, with eyes closed, denoting a confused existence of unconsciousness, in which the character is unable to do anything about his/her circumstances. Above his/her head, at the bottom of the card is a snake, which represents the serpent class, those who gain the most out of this situation, which has of course been caused by them in the first place. Another thing to note about this card is that the so-called “Dying God” is hanging from an ankh (the Egyptian symbol for eternal life), which is also upside-down, with the implication that the whole of life is also upside-down. Let it be known that I did not ask to be born on that date, and had I been born on any other day, my life would have been much better for me and those around me. I say this in response to those who contend that this is just my karma.

   Please notice that the word, “MUSIC”, consists of two words: MU meaning “the 12th letter of the Greek alphabet”; and SIC meaning “as written” (From Wikipedia: The adverb sic – meaning “intentionally so written”, first appeared in English circa 1856); “unwell or ill”; or as in “sic the dog”. So, the word, “MUSIC” can be read as “12 AS WRITTEN” or “12 ILL”. Of course, one can also consider the word in the form, “MUSE SICK”. I find it cruelly ironic that bits and pieces of my life story can be found in much of the music from the 80’s on up to today, from artists such as Kate Bush (especially songs like “Experiment IV”, “Hammer Horror”, “Them Heavy People”), Peter Gabriel, Sonic Youth, Tool, The Pixies (see “Monkey Gone To Heaven”), Pearl Jam (most specifically, the song, “Black”), Nirvana (“In Bloom”, the line: “sell the kids for food”), Smashing Pumpkins,  Chevelle, Cavo, Five Finger Death Punch, and so much of the pop music lately, but also from hip hop and rap artists of the 90’s and 2000’s. As an aside, I know of a guy named Brian Repetto, who has a music label actually called “Screw Music Forever”, which I find disconcerting, reminding of the fact that this was done to me on purpose. Considering the fact that this was all done before I was even born, I am reminded of a Smashing Pumpkins’ song called “Holding Back the Fool”, which begins, “I knew my loss… before I even knew to speak…” which in itself speaks volumes about my personal situation.

One reason why I feel I might not make it is that I have heard a voice say that this is what they do to “Two J’s”, which is from a hip hop song, making me think this is a connection to the tarot that was made long before I was ever born, to make it easier to manipulate me throughout my whole life. The so-called “Dying God”, the 12th major arcana card of the Thoth tarot deck, indicates a Jesus-type character, and my birthdate being 12/12 indicates two of this character, hence the word “two-j”. I am not saying that I am any kind of “Jesus”, only that I have been and still am being crucified like one, since I have been blamed by many people in my life for things that are so obviously beyond my control. Blaming me is like “cutting the legs off of a sheep and then blaming the sheep for not being able to stand”, as I heard the interviewer Jan Irving say once in an online interview called “The Trees of Knowledge”.

   What happened to me is a heinous, metaphysical form of torture, done on an unwitting participant/sacrifice, in which the victim is betrayed the very moment they are born, involves numerous variables besides just the birthday. For example, I was given initials spelling CAT, even though my mother didn’t care that much for cats, because the word relates to certain derogatory terms, such as: “catty”, “pussy cat”, “scaredy cat”, “cataclysm”, “catastrophe”, and so on,  having a malevolent effects on me, beginning in my teenage years. My first two names, Cheryl and Ann, associate me with the word CHAOS: CH and A, and the word Os, meaning “opening” or “vagina”, which is particularly demeaning. The reason I believe I was made to be associated with the word chaos, is so the secret societies involved in the well-known “order ab chaos” plan (which you can look up on the internet to verify) could get their so-called “order”, in my daughter, whose initials spell LAW. I will say this: that the “order ab chaos” plan does seem to come from a natural law, as I have seen in the book, The Seven Life Lessons of Chaos, by Peat and Briggs, however to do this to a human being is not natural, and is, in fact, the epitome of cruelty.

When I consider how fabricated and orchestrated my life has been, I have to wonder how much of our own history is actually real. As I said before, history (his story) is written by the winners. When I think about how many people have been killed, like Anne Johnson-Davis or Aaron Russo (who made the movie, America: From Freedom to Fascism), or silenced because of what they have written or spoken about, along with the fact that my own health has declined significantly over the past three years, I realize that most of what we know is only what we are allowed to know.

I was originally inclined to write with the left hand, but the neighbor who taught me to write told me that it was evil to be left-handed, thus robbing me of my natural left-handedness, which might have allowed me to be smarter (as studies suggest), or at least more able to persevere, which is something I have observed in left-handers that I know. Please note that studies of stroke victims have shown that the right brain controls the left part of the body, and vice a versa. If this is true, then doesn’t it make sense that making someone write with the right hand, when they are naturally left inclined would, figuratively and/or literally, take them out of their proverbial “right mind”? With that in mind, I now ask the reader to consider the word “right”, and how it is used in our language. “Right mind” is one example I have shown, in which the word “right” denotes direction, but also correctness. Then there is “all-right”, meaning “okay”. It then becomes obvious that the word “right” has been misused on other occasions, especially when the so-called “conservative” political party is known as the “right wing”. This also begs the following question, one which I have been asking myself for the past three years now: What if everyone on this planet are naturally left-inclined, but were made to write with the right hand? What does that imply for our world? Does it mean we have world full of people who are out of their right minds? It may seem ludicrous at first, but when the other patterns of language I have noted are taken into account, it may seem less so.

After my parents divorced, when I was around nine years old, my mother and I moved to a place called Vieux Carre, in Lutz, near theUniversityofSouth Florida. It was here that I met my friend Claudia, who had the initials, CLT, which shows that she and I might have been some sort of sex slaves/breeders… CLT could be read as “clit”, while my initials, which spell the word CAT, obviously connects to the word “pussy cat”. It was when I was living there, that I was date-raped by a 21 year old man, when I was 16. I remember him being on top of me, and my hands were around his throat as I tried in vain to get him to stop, while yelling, “Stop, stop, please stop!” My mother was friends with this man, who would later show up to visit us around Christmas time, that same year. When he showed up, I acted like a complete idiot, because I was so obviously stunted in my psychological growth, and because I was so very immature, since my mother really didn’t teach me much besides how to do dishes and cleaning the many mirrors in that home. I should note here that those mirrors were everywhere, on the bedroom suites, the coffee table, the closet doors, even the wallpaper.

It bears repeating that those things I’ve listed above (my 12/12 birthdate in relation to the tarot, and in relation to the word “music”; my initials, CAT, relating to things such as “pussy cat”, “catty”, “catastrophe”, “cataclysm”, etc.; my and my daughter’s initials LAW, in relation to the illuminati’s plan of “order ab chaos”; and the fact that I was taken out of my “right mind” by getting me to be right handed against my natural inclination); growing up with someone who had the initials, CLT; if taken separately, might not mean anything at all, but when they exist, all in one person’s life, together with the other things I am going to show below, it becomes harder and harder to ignore the fact that I was set up since birth, to be some sort of scapegoat, a sacrificial lamb; a cruel irony, considering the implants in front of each of my ears. I have heard voices say that “we travel faster without karma”, which makes me wonder if I am being used to take the karma for others, which in itself is what I would call a “metacrime”.

When I was a child, I was very loving and friendly, and I was a good kid. Even my mother said I was an angel when I was a little kid. It took a long time for those things I have listed above to have their effects on me. I was a smart and good kid who loved her parents and her brother, who loved animals, who was thoughtful and considerate, and who would never hurt anyone. The only way I have actually harmed anyone is that I have: a) had two abortions, for which I am absolutely sorry, and for which I humbly beg God for forgiveness; and b) I was cruel to a guy who punched me out and shoved me into a sliding glass door, during a “punk” phase of my life, an act for which I am still, truly very sorry, because it was a retaliation, for which I also humbly beg God for forgiveness. Regarding the two abortions: I submit that the fact that being mindcontrolled in a breeder program, in a country which demanded that women have careers, had an effect on me, causing me to be somewhat driven by my programming, at the same time, wanting to have a career, giving me a deep psychological conflict, which I was unable to resolve. Regarding the rest of my bad behavior in my life: I submit that, by being manipulated on such a fundamental level, as a newborn baby, I was never quite well in the first place, leaving me wide open to manipulation by people, movies, music, television, etc. The fact that I also have these implants, located in front of each ear, tells me that subliminal messages delivered via those implants could be responsible for many of my bad decisions. While I started out as a very loving child, by the time I got to high school, I became very rebellious and angry. I then got into the whole punk scene, which fueled my rebellion further, putting me at worse odds with my divorced mother.

Unfortunately, I had an unloving and absent adoptive mother, born on 4/4, who used the Dr. Spock (Benjamin) method of caring for infants, which advocated leaving the child to scream in the crib for hours, with the supposed goal of producing self-soothing behavior, but which usually caused emotional deficits, and some would argue the whole method to be cruel to the baby. This is a woman who wouldn’t take her daughter to a psychologist when she found out that daughter was cutting and burning herself at 15 years old. Instead, she would only complain about the stains on the clothing. As an adult, I noticed how cruel she could be when I heard her telling her boyfriend at the time that he was a “weak little man” when he was unable to quit smoking. I bet being around her made it near impossible for him to quit. Notice the Emperor card from the Thoth tarot deck, as shown:

Besides the title of the card, its colors co-notate authority and power, which a woman like that should have never had over a child. A 4/4 raising a 12/12 seems to be either an unfortunate accident, or a terrible plot. Taken into account with the other facts I have written about here, it was obviously done on purpose. She called me stupid all of the time, and told me that I would never amount to anything in my life. She also had me selling hot dogs, at construction sites, in a bikini, when I was only 14 years old. It cannot be denied that these things caused a sort of mental and/or intellectual handicap, considering the fact that when I was in grade school, I had above average intelligence and was in the top two percent of my class, but as I got older, my grades fell to average (I was lucky to graduate high school with a C average).  Since my dad was away on business trips during the first nine years of my life, when my parents were still married, and then living in another state after the divorce, I lacked a father figure in my life, leaving me easily influenced by boyfriends, once I reached my teen years and beyond.

While many people blame their parents for the way their station in life, my absent parents were the least of my problems, due to concerns noted above. However, because my parents were mostly absent and used TV as a babysitter, which is known to produce hypnotic effects in general, but especially on a little child, I was an easy subject of post hypnotic suggestion. I say this because I had a math teacher in high school call me a drug addict before I had ever began to experiment with drugs, which might have had the effect of a post hypnotic suggestion, because I did end up turning to drugs, as my only relief from what I saw as a very messed up society. What is really sad is that God only knows what they did to me during those first eight weeks of my life, as I certainly cannot remember it. Knowing about MC/RA (mind control and ritual abuse), one can only imagine what they did to me when I was born, but it most likely included some form of torture. I have read that when the child is very young, abusers will invoke a demon into the child. If this is true, and if it is taken in combination with the other things I have shown in this paper, my negativity throughout most of my life begins to make allot more sense.

Before you read on, please note that I am due to inherit 2.5 million dollars, which would be one half of the balance of a class-action, and awarded, tobacco lawsuit in which my deceased mother was involved. I mention this because the last time I spoke with my brother, the executor of her estate, he told me, “You won’t live”, which leads me to believe that he is a part of this scheme against me, although it seems to have been going on my whole life.

It should also be noted that, ever since I became vocal on the internet about certain things regarding my situation, I became a target for gang-stalking and voices coming through these palpable implants, located in front of each ear, at the top, where the ear meets the head. The voices are telling me that I am being set up for some crime I haven’t committed, which is not the known definition of a “Manchurian Candidate”, i.e. someone who is mind-controlled to assassinate a target, so that the ones controlling the assassin don’t have to take any responsibility for a murder. The way I see it, the “Manchurian Candidate” could be a “scapegoat”; the fall guy for the assassin, and is therefore not actually the assassin himself. When I think of the threats I have heard via these implants, I am in fear that some cop is going to bust through the door and plant some bogus evidence on me, to make it believable, so that I would be held liable for some horrible crime I didn’t commit, and then thrown in jail for life, or worse. I pray that this is not the case and I ask you to pray for me as well. The fact that I have been the victim of setups by authorities in the past, twice to be exact, makes me fear this to be the case. One such event was when my mother blamed me for stealing $800.00 and her credit cards, a crime I didn’t commit, but had to confess to, in order to remain out of jail (at least, that’s what the police told me at the time). Later, I found out that she was a big gambler.

I believe that my exboyfriend was recruited into this set up against me, because he easily abandoned me in the house he let go into foreclosure, the same house I begged him not to make us move into. His whole family seemed to be against me, and he kept my daughter away from me for over three years, by moving out of the county, which broke the law and had a negative impact on my daughter. It even seems like my own daughter is against me, among other people, when I hear them imply that I am just a bum, or that I’m lazy. My answer to these people is that, before all this happened to me, I had a good job, at which I worked very hard, and, if I wasn’t in this awful pain, or if I could get some appropriate medical attention, and if I wasn’t afraid that I would be picked up for some crime I haven’t committed, I might already have a job.

My ex and I were together in our 20’s, but we broke up not long after we had a son, whom we placed for adoption. I believe us getting back together after all those years (when we were in our 30’s) was a set up, because we ran into each other, at a Super Wal-Mart, in 2003, when his girlfriend brought him there, and my friends brought me there. I think we were set up at that time, because I was in my late thirties, and my biological clock was ticking. I believe he abandoned me there because this effectively cut me off from my job, and from access to the internet, to keep me from learning the truth about what was happening to me, and to keep me from being able to reach out to anyone who might have been able to help me. I find it odd that one of my so-called best friends, who had told me she loved me on numerous occasions, would not even let me come over to talk to her when he left me. When he originally left me, in August of 2008, taking our daughter, he promised that he would leave me with one of the two vehicles we had, so I could go look for, and have transportation to, a job. He didn’t do that, and my pain started one month later, making it near impossible for me to walk at the time. It was all I could do to walk to the store for food.

While I was stuck in that house with no power or water, in excruciating pain, I actually saw my ex come through the neighborhood at least once a week, telling the neighbors lies about me. Three and a half years later, he talked me into moving back in with him to take care of our daughter, by promising me certain things, like that he would get an over the road job, so I could afford to go to a real doctor, which I now cannot, since he did not do as promised. He also promised that he would get me a vehicle with his tax refund this year. I wonder if he will go back on that promise as well. Meanwhile, I am still in horrible pain, in my privates, so I cannot even walk very far to go get a job. One thing I will say for my ex: at least he has been willing to help me get to the free clinic for help, although no one is willing to give me a CAT Scan or an MRI to get a diagnosis for my pain. I have had ultrasounds and transvaginal ultrasounds, but still no diagnosis. One common symptom of victims of Ritual Abuse and Mind Control is having symptoms of pain that doctors are unable to diagnose.

The point here is that I honestly believe that I was manipulated to “make a deal with the devil”, because I must have been out of my right mind to believe I was aligning myself with a higher power. Not long after I made that contract, I did a spell in which I asked for “the power, the strength, the courage, the will, the wisdom, and the ability to overcome all obstacles”. I have not received this, so I sincerely hope I am not going to hell.

Another thing that attests to the fact that I was manipulated is that I was in a Yahoo email group called “Wingmakers for Humanity/Masters of the Shamballa 1024, in which the leader, a woman named June who called herself “Athena” actually posted online that she was using a technique called “mindbending”, and that she was “adjusting people’s merkabas”. I can no longer doubt that she used these techniques on me, as well as other members of the group. Later, she would post that they were “harvesting human souls”. I beg the true and forgiving God of the universe: “Please don’t let her get away with what she is doing”. I don’t believe that I deserve to go to a place of eternal damnation, regardless of how I have lived my life, because I was not really allowed to have freewill in the first place, but also because I have been largely unconscious of the effects I might have had on other people. I beg the True and Just God of the universe to see the whole truth about what has happened to me, and to forgive me based on that whole truth.

Now that I am looking back on my life, I can see that I have been manipulated into bad behavior for most of my 40-something years. The only good thing about any of this is that I now know that my negativity, my sadness, my bad behavior… none of it has been my fault, and there is really nothing I could have done. I was not only upside-down, but I was also taken out of my right mind, as noted above. It is very possible my parents were paid to adopt me (knowing about the catholic church history of child trafficking), and the fact that my brother told me of how my dad would turn of the interior lights off in the car, when he went to meet some man in New York, tells me this could be the case.

With all of these situations written above, does it not seem engineered for me to be disabled in some sort of way, perhaps mentally? Spiritually? Even metaphysically? It sure seems like it was completely done on purpose, as if I am just some kind of experiment or something, or worse: that since before I was born, some group of people were planning on making me some sort of sacrifice, so I was not only born on a specific date and named a very specific name, but I was also programmed with ideas in my head that would make me too embarrassed to talk about it to any therapist.

Just thinking about the word “television” as “tell-a-vision” should be enough to let anyone see that what I am saying is true. If I was a victim of the MK Ultra program, or some others, like Artichoke, or whatever, (which makes sense when you consider the facts, as well as the fact that these classified programs were happening back then, when I was born), and made super sensitive to this stuff, on a subconscious level, so that I didn’t know what was happening to me, then the wreck I call my life begins to make a whole lot of sense. Part of it is connected to the fact that I was drowned at three years old, which fits the classic pattern of Ritual Abuse survivors. No one should be able to blame me for anything, considering what is on these pages.

My brother was ten years older than I, and they had him away at a boarding school (Jesuit High) most of the time that we lived inTempleTerrace, at712 Druid Hills Road. While I always loved and looked up to my brother, he did certain things to me as a child that were horrible, despite the fact that he apparently saved my life when he came home one day and I was floating, face-down in our pool, when I was three years old, and had been left alone with my mother. For instance, I remember him showing me his penis when I was around six years old, but the memory stops after that. Once, when I was fifteen, he brought me a dress from some place he had visited, and it looked like a wedding dress. When I was around six or seven, he chased me and my cousin, Amanda, around the house with a butcher knife. At one point, he wrapped me up in a blanket, saying that he had a surprise for me, and he tossed me down the stairs. These things all speak to the way I was betrayed even by my own family

I have heard voices calling me a traitor. However, it must be said that I was betrayed first (as proven above, and in the paragraph below this one). I was betrayed the very moment I was born! These are the same voices telling me to quit smoking, although they have not lived my life and have no idea what it is like to be tortured as I have. It is these voices, delivered via “voice to skull” communication through two implants, one at each ear, that continue to berate me, saying things such as “get a job”, “she’s just a bastard anyway”, “we don’t need no aging mothers” (which rhymes to a part in the Kate Bush song called Experiment IV, which I have noted below), “quit smoking”, and “go to hell”, among other horrible things designed to make me a nervous wreck. It is as if they are trying to berate and scare me to death. There is no excuse for what they are doing to me. They also threaten me by telling me that I’m going to have a heart attack, but if they weren’t doing this to me in the first place, I might’ve been able to suit smoking by now. This harassment never ceases. I wish I could do something to stop it.

Why? Oh why do this? Why mentally mess with an individual her whole life, get plenty of material for music, movies, etc. as a result, use that same music against her, and then blame this individual for the mess in which her life wound up? When I internally ask this question, I hear a voice respond that it is because I was very bad. However, had I not been set up this way when I was born, had I not been connected to the tarot and mu-sic via my birthday and my name; had I not started at the deficit certain people made sure of; had I really had freewill like I had been told, then I would have never been that bad in the first place.

Now I refer you to that song by Kate Bush called “Experiment IV”, in which they sing that they were working on “a sound that could kill someone from a distance”. The phrase, “from the painful cries of mothers…to the terrifying screams” relates to a flashback I have of my mother holding me down while a doctor stuck some very painful instrument in my privates, during which I could actually hear my own screams. Here is another example of the fourth card of the major arcana of a different tarot deck:

My mother (whose birthday is 4/4) was there, for the cone biopsy procedure done right after my daughter was born via C-section, during which I was under general anesthetic, so I don’t doubt the flashback I had of her being involved when that doctor put something in my privates, causing me to scream out in horrible pain. However, I don’t blame my mother because I believe she was a victim also. Recall that she was born on 4/4, and how her behavior was very selfish and cruel. Also, notice that in each Emperor card I have shown, the man is holding a ball. My mother was an avid bowler, which I find strangely telling regarding the hold these cards may have over certain people’s lives.

I must also mention that I used to listen to allot of internet radio interviews, as well as downloaded music, and it is very possible that I was hearing subliminal messages coming from those internet interviews/music selections, through headphones, as well as through my palpable implants in front of each ear.

As I mentioned earlier, before all these terrible things happened to me, I had a good job, which I loved, working for an online quartz crystal retailer. I was learning fast, but I had allot on my plate at the time. I was also learning about energy healing, which led me to certain email groups, such as Wingmakers. I had never been into magic, but something sort of came over me. My friend was into magic and conspiracy, and it was with her that I began to learn about Sumeria. I really thought she was my friend. Now I am not so sure that she ever truly cared for me, because when I needed her the most, she would not speak to me.

One thing that happened to me, while I was in that house, which was very disturbing was that a man, or perhaps it was just his image, whom I thought believed in/upheld the truth, used etheric energy to roll some sort of an energy ball (see the images of the Emperor Card I have shown) right into my root chakra, which at first felt wonderful. However, not much later, I was in absolute pain in my whole pelvic region, as I still am today. I now wonder if his birthday was 4/4 like my mother. Later, while still in that house, this man seemed to do some sort of etheric surgery on me. He also promised to rescue me, but I now feel that what he did is part of what is killing me, and his false promises allowed him to keep me from discovering and telling the truth. It is interesting to note that the 12th card of the major arcana of most tarot decks shows the Hanged Man’s legs in the position of a number four, as if to say to someone, “The four did it”.

In my early 30’s (I’m in my 40’s now), I got a tattoo on my back that reminds me of an image from this deck, which is also an image found in Sumerian and Egyptian writings. I believe I was mind controlled to get this tattoo, so I could be a target, to later be convinced that I was all sorts of things after learning more aboutEgyptand Sumeria on the internet and in books. I say that I was mind controlled to get the tattoo because I have two, very provable, implants on my head, one located in front of each ear, at the top, where the ear joins to the head. 

I began to discover how I had been manipulated all my life in early to mid 2008, and I began to speak out about it online, in some of the email forums online. By late August of 2008, my boyfriend and father of my daughter were trying to have me locked up, and I lost my job because of it. I believe he did it because I was trying to get him to see the way I had been set up, and he didn’t want to face it. He left me at the end of August of 2008, and let our house go into foreclosure. Of course, the whole family blamed me for everything, even though I had warned my ex-boyfriend not to by the house at the height of the housing bubble our country was experiencing. When I was left in that house with no power or water, and in horrible pain, creating a major trauma, it was easy for those V2K voices to convince me that I was Jesus/Mary/Lucifer/Demon/Whatever because of my B-Day, because of physical sensations in my body, and because I felt I was being crucified by my ex and my family who abandoned me at the time (as I write this, I am reminded of a band called “Jesus and the Mary Chain”).

During that time, I was in a very low state, living with no power or water in 100 degree heat, suffering in pain that had me screaming on and off for the first 3 months. Eventually, I stopped screaming, but the pain remained. One night while I was stuck in that house, in too much pain to get a job and get out of there, a police helicopter flew around the house, late at night, with its spotlight on the house, for at least a half an hour straight, causing me to sit in a corner of the house in absolute fear, which traumatized me even further than the pain did. This incident, while I was living in these deplorable conditions, in excruciating pain, lasting for over two years, is a classic torture/mindcontrol pattern, i.e. trauma on every level: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. To this day, I have a huge fear of helicopters, and noises that sound like helicopters.

While living in that house, a voice told me to get the Thoth Tarot Deck, which is when I saw my tattoo on several of the cards. It was then that I recognized the connection between my birthday and the 12th card of the Major Arcana, and saw the connection between my numerology and much of the rest of that particular deck. Here are some images from that deck:

When I saw The Magus card above, with the Winged Disk in front of the so-called Magus’s private parts, who happens to look like woman named Skinner, with whom I went to art school in the 90’s, I couldn’t help but feel like I had been “screwed” by her (you know, Skinner- “skin the cat”?), the one who seemed to “magically” get my ideas, and who introduced me to heroin, and also to Jeff, who would eventually betray me?

I began to hear voices in mid 2008. At first, they seemed benevolent. After my exboyfriend left me, they told me to get the Thoth tarot deck, which explained much for me, but then they told me to get the Lesser Key of Solomon, which made my situation go from bad to worse. They told me that those responsible for my pain included my ex, my best friend at the time (Kelly, who also abandoned me), people from my past, and certain ex-boyfriends. Since then, I of course had the “God complex”, due to these voices, followed by hearing voices telling me I am Satan of all things. If I was Satan, wouldn’t I be much stronger than I am?

Before my life fell apart completely, I had been working for a company, Healing Crystals, which sold quartz crystals online. When I started, I was just doing link-exchange, but eventually, the owner had me writing item descriptions, writing the articles for the website, responding to customer questions about the crystals he offered, and doing special projects, like working on the crystal-tarot program he put on the site. I had been learning about Reiki and other energy healing modalities, so having employment involving crystals seemed to be aligned with what I was learning.

During this time, I was involved in various online e-groups and forums; some of which were into energy healing, while others were supposedly involved in uncovering various truths. The groups I was in include the following: The “Educate Yourself Forum”, the “Wingmakers for Humanity/Masters of the Shamballa 1024”, and “The New Hermetics Forum”, and “The Unveiling” among others. When I started to become aware of what was happening to me, no one would acknowledge what I was experiencing as any kind of manipulation, which tells me they are controlled opposition groups, or anti-TI. I am not indicting these groups, per se, just some of the members in them, because they seem to be for truth, but when it shows up, they deny it to the end. For example, no one in the New Hermetics Forum was open to the idea that the whole “love under will” thing might be wrong. Even those in the Unveiling Forum were mostly unresponsive to my own “unveiling” of my personal experience of the shadow government, which they seemed to want to expose. Not long after I realized that I was a victim, I lost my job, when Jeff kept trying to have me locked up, and I wasn’t able to work.

At any rate, because it obviously was NOT done of my own true free will, I contend that the contract cannot be held valid, and is null and void. Considering that my whole life had been made to be upside-down and in absolute chaos, purpose, I know that I truly never had freewill in the first place. I read at one website dedicated to MC/RA survivors that contracts like that are considered invalid by God, and I truly hope this to be the case, but when I say that in my head, the V2K voices tell me that the contract is binding.

During the time that it happened, I was working my at-home job on the internet, while trying to take care of my 2 year old daughter and the household, simultaneously, so I obviously had too much on my plate. Also, we were living in a house that we could not afford, which added to my stress. The reason that was in my head, for doing the contract was that, to me, the whole world seemed upside-down, I was learning about ancient civilizations such as Egypt and Sumeria, and listening to interviews on AM radio and also on the internet that talked about this kind of stuff as well as the New World Order, Mind Control, etc. I had read some information from a certain website that equated Satan with a Sumerian God known as Enki, who reportedly had a love for humanity and wanted to help them. I was trying to align myself with a higher power (I know that it sounds ludicrous now), because I felt like I had been missing God for my whole life. In my state of mind at the time, and given that I was receiving subliminals over the TV, internet, and these 2 very provable implants at each ear (in front of the ear, at the top, where the ear joins to the head), I guess I was under their spell. Our country was at war with Iraq, and was about to invade Iran, and I just hated to see all that killing going on. I felt that by doing this, somehow I would help to save the world, which I now realize sounds absolutely crazy. In any case, I was obviously not in my right mind, which is another reason why the contract cannot be binding in my opinion.

Please consider the information above. I realize that some of it may sound crazy, but it does seem to fit a certain pattern, doesn’t it? At the very least, I would make a great case study for a psychologist, or my story would make a great movie, whether I live or die. Since my health has gone down hill considerably over just the past three months, I am thinking I might be dead soon.

I am currently not on any painkillers, unfortunately, but I am in horrible pain, which no one can diagnose. I also hear accusations that I am Satan, or a demon, and that I am evil, which is a lie. I am not guilty! Now that I think of it, I have been screwed by satan my whole life, as seen below.

Notice the image to the right of the winged disk. It looks like a photograph I have seen of Kate Bush on You Tube, in which she is wearing all black (some sort of costume), and is sitting in a position, in which she looks like she is perched on something, like a bird. Her music has a specific importance to me, as it speaks of everything that has been happening to me over the past three and a half years. The image to the left of the winged disk reminds me of the Millennium Falcon from the Star Wars movies.

I continue to have the undesirable effects of DEWs (Directed Energy Weapons), i.e. burning sensations on various parts of my body. Once, I actually felt the sensation of a hot poker, hitting my back and going right through my chest, and since then, I am finding it harder and harder to breathe, even though I am smoking much less (1/2 a pack per day). While I have always been in good health, I currently am feeling very ill, finding it hard to breathe, and having pain in various parts of my body, like the feeling of knives going into my breasts and left ribcage. There are also the previously mentioned electroshock sensations in my vagina with muscle contractions. Voices also claim that they have some sort of evidence against me, and are going to have me arrested although I have never own a gun and I am not doing anything illegal. For example, just now, as I type, I heard a voice say, “You’re going to jail”. It is easy to see that I have become a target for “gang-stalkers”.

In conclusion, I have absolutely been manipulated by many people, but also by music and language. How anyone was able to make me so sensitive to music and movies and language is beyond me, but it is important to mention how words like chow, cow, the cat says “meow” (a cruel joke considering my physically painful situation), tow, etc., relate to my particular problem regarding pain and the word “ow”. Furthermore, words such as: till, still, and chill have the word “ill” in them, as the words march, mars, charm, have the words “harm”, and “mar” in them.

One thing I am sure of is this: I now know why I was sad my whole life and why I became a drug addict. I think that on some level, I knew I had no real chance in this world. What is truly sad is that when I was trying to become free of pain killers, I was given the worst kind of pain I could ever imagine, making it impossible for me to ever be truly free.

Thank you for your attention to this. If you respond, and you do not hear back from me, my name is Cheryl Ann Twyford, (DOB 12/12/67), and I live inFlorida, although I am currently homeless. Please check to see if I am deceased, for I am hearing voices stating that they just want me dead, and that I am already being poisoned. I am getting very scared. I’m unsure if the people I am staying with are in on it. I have a daughter, whom I worry is being targeted also, as she would inherit the balance of that money from the inheritance I previously mentioned (if received) after my debts are paid.

I am getting very worried because the voices are telling me that they are going to set me up for a crime of which I am not guilty. I am so scared that I am being framed. If I end up killing myself because of this, or if I am killed, these people will be guilty of murder and will have to pay the karmic debt. They are already guilty of torture. What has happened to me since my birth indicates that someone, or some people, deliberately set me up to make my life a complete mess. When I tried to change, achieve a metanoia, if you will, someone or something made sure that I would not be able to get better. It must be noted that when someone is being tortured, kept in constant pain, it becomes increasingly difficult to be nice on a regular basis, although I do try as much as I can. Even at my very lowest, I was still trying to help other people around me.

What is being done to me is a Meta Crime, and I just cannot believe that God would allow the perpetrators to get away with what they, or others of their ilk, been doing to me my whole life. They say that I’m just a bastard, so I don’t matter anyway. I have also heard these voices tell me that the whole world is against me and that there is nothing I can do about it. If that is true, I cannot believe what an awful world I am living in, that would do this to a human being who has been a victim her whole life. Shame on them! I guess they figure that as long if it isn’t them who is the victim, then it is all right to do this to someone who was mindcontrolled/manipulated her whole life and made to sell her soul against her true free will (free will?).

I have heard voices say that they did this to me because I have been too bad in this life, but I was made to be this way by folks just like them: People with no compassion or empathy at all. Well, of course I have made many mistakes with negative repercussions, because I was designed to. If you look at all the variables, it cannot be denied that I have been set up since birth as some sort of sacrifice. By making sure that my life would be in chaos, despite my efforts, they would then have an excuse for getting me to sell my soul, by making me think that satan is God. Then, they could torture me with their directed energy weapons and gang-stalking, which is why I am afraid to leave the house.

If someone (who isn’t in on it) would please pray for me, I would really appreciate it. I believe there are forces at work that have used me as a sacrifice, and I am begging God for forgiveness for any of my relatively minor sins, and for doing that contract.


A Victim

The following list is a quick sketch of why I believe that I have been under some sort of mindcontrol my whole life, virtually robbing me of any true free will, thus making it impossible for me to truly or freely consign my soul, thereby making the contract I signed in blood null and void.

1) I was born 12/12/1967, and my adoptive mom’s B-day was 4/4. I believe that I was easily manipulated because of the #12’s high visibility in our culture and in Christianity, and because I was tied, via black magic, to the #12’s representative card in the major arcana of most tarot decks. It is also important for me to say here that the word MU means “12th letter of the the Greek alphabet”, and the word SIC means “as written”, and also “unwell” or “ill”. Therefore the word MUSIC could be read as “12 as written”, but also “12 ill”.

2) I have 3 palpable implants: one located in front of each ear, at the top, where the ear joins to the head, and one located just above the ankle, on the shin of my left leg. I believe they were most likely used to deliver subliminal messages to me, to get me to do negative things that I might not have done otherwise.

3) I was adopted through Catholic Charities. Ritual Abuse often happens to adoptees, and I have read that they use adoptees, which are most often preemies, making them more susceptible to programming.

4) I was drowned at 3y/o, and rescued by my brother, and drowning at 3 is a common pattern for MC/RA survivors.

5) My mother used the Dr. Spock method of child-rearing, which advocates leaving the baby alone in the crib to scream/cry them selves to sleep. My mother was also caught shaking my brother, so I think it’s safe to assume she did the same to me, among other abusive behaviors.

6) I was originally inclined to write with the left hand, told it was evil to be left-handed, so I learned to write with my right. Studies on stroke victims have shown that the right-brain controls the left side of the body. I believe that forcing me to write right-handed had a detrimental impact on my life, by taking me out of me so-called “right mind” at an early age.

7) My initials spell CAT, even though my mother was not particularly fond of cats (as she told me), and I find it ironic that it corresponds to words such as: catty, pussy cat, scaredy cat, catastrophe, cataclysm, etc., and that my whole life has been such a mess. Specifically, regarding the word pussy cat, I am reminded of how my mother had me selling hotdogs at construction sites wearing a bikini, at the age of fourteen. Also, it is interesting to note that I went to art school with a woman with the last name Skinner (“skin the cat”?), who somehow was able to get ideas straight out of my mind without me telling her, and who introduced me to heroin (ruining my art career), as well as my ex-boyfriend, who seems to be in on the plot against me, as he has effectively turned my daughter against me.

8) My daughter’s initials spell LAW (which speaks to the “order ab chaos” plan, which one can look up online), and was delivered via C-Section. I say this because my name Cheryl Ann can combine with the word “OS”, to form the word “CHAOS”.

9) About 3 years ago, I lost my job, was abandoned by my family, and was left in a house that was in foreclosure, with no car, no power/water, and while I was in excruciating pain. During this time, it seems that my daughter was turned against me.

10) As a child, I was much neglected, and mentally/verbally abused, and was allowed to play on the woods by myself at the age of 6, which is when I believe some of their mind control programming and sexual abuse might have happened, but I would need some sort of therapy to uncover these memories. I cannot afford such therapy, as I have lost my job and now have no insurance. I also think it is possible that my implants were given to me at this age, if it was not done at birth.

11) I was a cutter, which is common among survivors of MC/RA, as well as the fact that I tried to commit suicide as a teenager.

12) I have memories of traumatic abuse, involving a doctor and my mother, holding me down, and a blender-like (or could it have been a laser?) instrument was inserted into my vagina. In this memory, I could hear the instrument, feel the pain, and I even heard my own voice screaming, and I heard my mother say, “you’re being such a good hero for your country”, but I cannot imagine what this meant. I believe that this event must’ve happened at the hospital where I had a cervical cone biopsy done, one month after my daughter was born, because I was under a general anesthesia for the procedure, and I cannot remember what happened during it.

13) I tried to commit suicide at 17 years of age, an event that I am now wishing had been successful because of the way my life was controlled.

14)As noted above, I went to art school with a woman with the last name of Skinner (get it, “skin the cat”?). My art career failed, and she ended up with many of my own ideas. How she was able to do that, I have no idea. Yet, she is the one who introduced me to my ex-boyfriend, and also to heroin.

15) My life began to fall apart when I began posting things to certain groups about the government, but it might also have been right around the time that my mom’s class-action lawsuit against the tobacco companies was won. With my mother now deceased, I am awaiting an award (after her debts are paid) of 2.5 million dollars, a split of 5 million between me and my brother. The last time I spoke with him, he told me, “You won’t live”.

I AM the Victim of a Metacrime Addendum:

I have no doubt that I was mindcontrolled to sell my soul, against my true free will, and that because I want people to pray for me, and because I have been vocal about how I was manipulated into it, I have become a target for not only gang stalking, V2K (voice to skull communication”), and also for DEWs (directed energy weapons). I have read about these things online, and there are many other people like me or not, who are being targeted in this way.

I find it sad and disturbing that there is a “blame the victim” mentality going around like a virus, so pervasive that it seems like no one person alone can counteract it. The operative word in that last sentence to me would be “seems”, because I believe that such a mentality (i.e. blaming the unfortunate people who find themselves targets of such morally reprehensible behavior as “gang stalking”) can be overcome by the very truth of what has been happening to me, and I don’t know how many others. I do know they are out there, because I have seen them on the internet.

I write this addendum because I am being targeted by V2K, the voices are saying that they are setting me up for some crime, and last night, I heard them say that they only need a look-a-like. I have been living in fear for over three years, and I just don’t know how much longer I can take this. I am writing this in the hopes that I will be able to have people read it before something like this happens, thereby having a witness.

After one reads the original document regarding the issue of me making that contract, being so manipulated that I believed I was aligning myself to a higher power; it becomes blatantly obvious that I never truly had free will. This is why I am begging God for forgiveness, and I ask you to pray for me.

Let it be known, that it was my mother, who smoked three packs of cigarettes a day during all of my childhood years, who gave me asthma as an infant and who got me addicted to cigarettes in the first place.

Let it also be known that smoking cannot be the cause of any illness I might die of, for my health was almost perfect before this started to happen almost three and a half years ago, except for my asthma. My breathing has gone down hill over the past few months, after I felt the sensation of a hot poker going through the back of my chest, while I was with my exboyfriend and my daughter, at a Disney park about two months ago. I heard a voice say, “I feel bad about his one”, before I felt the sensation of this energy, hitting my back and going straight through my left lung. I guess they didn’t feel too bad about it.

I hear voices telling me that there are no excuses, but if those who own those voices had lived my life, I am sure they would be thinking otherwise. It is these voices that are telling me that I am going to hell and to just shut up about it. It is these same voices that are also telling me that I am going to jail. Well, I hope then, that they will be doomed to live a life such as mine, in which they are made to have a life of complete chaos, on purpose, and then damned after only 40 or so years of life.

I have heard these voices tell me that this is “the system”. I can only understand this “system” to be they way they make people disabled (mentally and/or physically) in the first place, so they can then justify why they are destroying them with their gang stalking, DEWs, and V2K.

By putting my life into chaos, on purpose, having me upside-down and turned around, these evil people got me to make a contract with satan because at the time, I believed he was God. It seems like a horrible crime to me, and I sure wish it possible for me to somehow escape this misery before I die.

It is for the reasons above that I am begging God to “reopen my case” as it were, because I did not have any type of informed consent when I made the contract with satan, because I was not in my right-mind, nor did I truly have freewill, given my circumstances, as written about in this paper. I am begging God to not let me be a sacrifice for some people who are only interested in saving their own hides. Another reason why I am begging God to reopen my case is that I was mindcontrolled into signing that contract by not only those around me, but also by information on the internet regarding Satan being a god.

At this point, I feel like I am no more than somebody’s lunch, or one of those victims in Mel Gibson’s “Apocalypto”, and the sad part is that it was designed to be this way. There is nothing just or correct about it. Anyone I turn to seems to wind up either turning their backs on me, or making it impossible for me to coexist with them when they are either making me spend more money than I can afford, or when they are muttering cruel things under their breath. No one wants to say those things to my face of course, because if they did, they would have to listen to the truth about what has been happening to me, and they might then have to acknowledge it, which would give them guilt for their participation in this cruel plan against me that started since before I was born.

Everything that I have written here explains absolutely why I wasn’t successful as an artist and why I ended up addicted to drugs for long periods in my life, although I am not addicted now, but I am in terrible pain.

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