I Love My Daughter

10/8/2012:

I am afraid that I may be dying, and since I have no insurance, I have no way of knowing for sure if I have a physical ailment. My constant pain would indicate that I do, yet the clinics can only provide the very minimum of care for me, and when I have spoken of and shown my implants, and when I’ve brought up ritual abuse, basically, I have been called a liar.

I make mention of the possibility of my death because I am afraid for my daughter, not having a parent who is aware of all the things that created the worst problems in her own life. You see, I lived most of my life, unconscious of what caused me to be so unwell in the first place. Now that I am aware of it, and aware of how they force everyone to be right-handed out of convenience, whether or not it is natural to them. Since this is what happened to me (see “The Case for the Left”), and since I see how it has also had effects on other people, who were originally left-handed, but forced to be right-handed, I want to make the effort to make sure my child exercises the right hemisphere of her brain, to give her benefits that I and her father have lost. Both he and I were originally left-handed, but made to be right-handed, due to someone else’s convenience. While I would like her to be able to learn to write with her left-hand, I am lucky just to get her to eat with it.

I was very artistic as a child, and grew up to go to art school, because I was creative. I even was awarded a scholarship and an exhibit in the gallery at my school. However, because I was forced to be right-handed against my natural inclination, I lacked the ability to persevere, the ability to complete projects, a sense of balance, and so many other things.

I love my daughter so much. I lost three years of her life, when in mid-2008, after voices started to become audible through the implants I have clearly shown in photographs in other pages. See “Here we are in 2012 and I am Still Alive” at: https://musicis2words.wordpress.com/2012/09/27/here-we-are-in-2012 for photo proof of implants. Once I started to act on and speak of things said to me by these voices, Jerome had me baker acted, and eventually left me in the house we lived in, allowing it to go into foreclosure. Since I had been locked up twice while this was going on, I lost my job. Eventually, the power and water were shut off, and finally garbage service was lost. Ironically, this is the house I begged Jerome not to buy, asking him if instead, we could move into another apartment in a different neighborhood.

At first, I didn’t get to see my daughter at all. Near Christmas of 2008, I remember Jerome bringing me a large, framed copy of a Christmas photo of her, which I cherished and still have. During the time from sometime after that Christmas until April 2010, I got to see my daughter once a month.

Part of me wanted to let her go, because it was too painful for me to deal with losing her, as I had placed a son for adoption, and never got over it. My mind, being terrorized by what was happening to me at the time, and by memories of what had happened to me in the past, was having a difficult time dealing with the loss of my daughter.

The point with this update is that I love her dearly. Unlike my mother, who didn’t even seem to try to raise me when I was young, I want my daughter to have a better life than I had. I certainly want to try to help her avoid some of the pitfalls I encountered in my life, at any rate.

For more information on left-handedness, please see this link: https://musicis2words.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/the-case-for-left-handedness