A site examining metaphysical forensics & the manipulation of thought

Posts tagged ‘Thoth Tarot’

Law of Attraction and Mind Control

This is an occult symbol which illustrates the subject matter of this article.

This is an occult symbol which illustrates the subject matter of this article.

After everything I have been through in relation to being mind controlled & implanted without my consent, everything I have read about the subject of mind control & ritual abuse, and everything I have read in relation to the so-called “Law of Attraction“, it occurs to me that those in power who are using mind control against others are doing it with a specific purpose in mind: to get those who are what they call “expendable” (the victims) to create negative karma and to attract negative things to themselves, so they (the perpetrators) can attract more positive things to themselves, their reasoning being that they need to keep a balance in nature. The only way those in power can have more, in their minds, is to take it away from someone else. It is in this way, that they believe they are in balance, and therefore justify their most heinous actions against those against whom they wage war, as well as all those who now find themselves in the unfortunate position of being nonconsensual human experimentees, or TIs (Targeted Individuals).

It is my contention that this is their way of cheating the “game of life“. By forcing someone who was originally a very positive and loving child into being a negative teen & adult, they are circumventing the freewill of an individual. They use the occult to do this, using astrological and tarot 12th Trump from the Thoth Tarot Deckarchetypes, which filter into the collective consciousness in the form of memes, but by putting implants in the victim’s head, they are better able to control what they have already put in place using the “The Butterfly Effect” and “Law of Attraction” in combination with the tarot, and in my case, it was the 12th trump of the Thoth tarot, authored by Aleister Crowley (a known satanist), and illustrated by Frieda Harris. As I have written about in other articles, my birthdate being 12/12 unwittingly tied me to the occult magic of the tarot, causing me to live an “upside-down life”, as seen in the Hanged Man card from that deck, in which a person is unconscious, upside-down, 3 limbs nailed down, the other foot tied to an upside-down ankh (which is the Egyptian heiroglyph for life, by the way), and a serpent attached to the head of the victim with what appear to be rays. The first manifestation of which came in the form of me being forced to write right-handed, when I was naturally left-inclined, which I have written about in my article called, “The Case for Left-handedness”.

I often hear people say “what goes around comes around“. If some one or some group had a specific intent of making someone negative against their nature (via this 12th trump card showing a reversed individual), then those who caused it must, in the end, reap the results of the negativity they forced on an unwitting individual, who had no choices, and no knowledge of the curse until much later in life, coincedentally, in the years leading up to 2012.

In simpler terms: Any negative karma caused by a curse and/or mind control programming on an individual should never be reaped by the victim of said programming. It would be akin to blaming a puppet for what the puppet master does.

Also, I feel that the only way to restore true freewill to our population is to remove the archetypes, both tarot and astrological. They are truly “graven images“, in two ways: 1)They are images that have become engraven in the collective unconsciousthrough archetypal transference; & 2) They are images “frought with danger or harm” (that quote is from an online dictionary, defining the word “grave”, which is why I believe the actual phrase “Graven Images” has been removed from the 2nd Commandment in more recent versions of the Bible.

For more information on this topic:


And for a short story illustrating what happened to me:



The Ankh in the Tarot and Metaphysical Mind Control

The Ankh in the Tarot and Metaphysical Mind Control

This piece is taken from a book I am writing about the use of symbolism in mind control. The Monarch Program is so named because of the observation that Monarch butterflies are able to pass down knowledge via genetic memory, and the fact that it can be applied to mind control victims. This means that those who have been mind controlled will pass down their programming to their children via genetics, which will then be reinforced programming delivered via television, movies, and music.

This is an Ankh. It is the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility, which happens to closely resemble the commonly accepted symbol for female. What does it imply when this symbol is upside-down, as it is in the 12th trump of certain decks of the tarot, such as the Harris-Crowley Thoth deck and the Hermetics deck? Has anyone noticed how, in 2012, life seems to be upside-down? In a so-called free country, laws protecting our freedoms have been severely restricted. Has anyone noticed, when seeing news stories about how the Catholic Church, which is supposed to be a spiritual organization, has been indicted on child-trafficking charges? How spiritual is it to sell children into slavery to be ritual sacrifices for some occult desire? Is it also possible that the images of the tarot have had some impact on the state of our world, due to the fact that this image is in the collective psyche on a genetic level? I am reminded of the oft-quoted statement by Michael Ellner: “Just look at us. Everything is backwards; everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers 12th Trump Thoth Tarotdestroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the major media destroy information and religions destroy spirituality.” Is it any surprise that this upside-down state of the world has reached a pinnacle in the year 2012, when one looks at the 12th trump of most tarot decks?


If both chaos theory and quantum theory, as applied to metaphysics, dictate that what you focus on becomes attracted to you, as is discussed in movies like The Secret and What the Bleep Do We Know?, then is it possible to program someone into attracting negative things by using symbolism? Is it also possible that, with so many people studying the tarot, do readings for other people, developing their own decks, and so many people repeating the same patterns of symbolism in their versions of the tarot, that those archetypal energies become amplified? I submit that they have become glorified flash cards, causing certain negative memes (a term coined by Richard Dawkins) to become rampant in our world. From Wikipedia: “A meme is an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture. A meme acts as a unit for carrying cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena. Supporters of the concept regard memes as cultural analogues to genes in that they self-replicate, mutate and respond to selective pressures.” The rising popularity of the tarot has allowed certain memes to pervade in our culture, possibly contributing to the negative situation in our world today, where so many of us now lack those freedoms we once took for granted. I should have known things were getting ugly when, on the back of someone’s running shoes, I saw the image of the ankh, being splayed apart. It was foretelling of what I would be going through in a very short period of time. Is someone tearing life apart in that logo? How many of these shoes are currently in circulation? To me, the image to the right looks like both the Ankh, and it’s meaning, has been violated. Regardless of where the image of the Ankh came from, it is the associated meaning that became the meme in our culture. Now what happens to those people who have seen the violated image to the right? Anyone who has studied chaos magic undoubtedly knows the answer to this question.

When I was a child, I felt closely identified to the non-debased form of the Ankh, but never knew why. I remember seeing it in a movie once, and I was simply attracted to it. I later learned the meaning associated with the Ankh, as determined by the understanding of its meaning in Egyptian hieroglyphics. I always felt there was something wrong with my life, with the way things always seemed to be lined up against me, but I never understood metaphysically, why it was happening. I used to think that God hated me, that is, until I saw the 12thtrump of the Thoth deck of the tarot. While I hadn’t seen these cards until I was in my 40s, they seem to have had an effect on my entire life simply because my birthdate is 12/12. What’s more, this same peculiar deck also seems to have had an effect on my mother’s life, simply because her birthdate was 4/4, and her card was the Emperor card. Could this card be why she married an Aries and why her mom was an Aries (as seen in the rams behind the character in the card on

4th Trump of the Thoth Tarot deck

the left)? Could this card also have been influential in why the two people she loved the most were both born in the 8th month (as denoted by two 8-pointed stars on either side of the figure)? I would be the lamb at the Emperor’s feet, because I cared about certain causes (indicated by the flag), and would that be my best friend

who is represented by the fleur-dis-li because she was born on 6/6? Is it any coincidence that my mother was a trophy winning bowler?

I mean, it all sure seems like a set up to me. Now consider that 12th trump of the same deck, located on the previous page. Can anyone blame the poor sod born on 12/12 for anything, given the idea of self-fulfilling prophecy and memes? That person is pinned down, unconscious, and hanging from an upside-down symbol for life. I have heard some people believe that Crowley was an evil man, but the question remains: “Did F. Harris design the cards first, or did Crowley give her the design to paint from?” I believe that the bible’s original intent behind the commandment about “graven images” was meant to keep people from having such an influence on others in the manner that the tarot had its influence over me.

The way all of this is connected to Monarch programming is the following: the victim of a set-up, such as the 12th trump could have never truly had freewill because their whole life has been upside-down, making it impossible for them to “live life on life’s terms” so-to-speak, because life’s terms have been completely skewed for them, which makes this a DOUBLE-BIND. Double-bind programming is typical in monarch programming, and is how they put the victim in the proverbial “no-win situation”. From Dictionary.com: “Psychology- it is a situation in which a person is given conflicting cues, especially by a parent, such that to obey one cue is to disobey the other.” From http://www.laingsociety.org: “A second variation of the double bind involves a situation in which a person is chastised for a correct perception of the outside world. In this situation the child will learn to distrust his own sensory awareness in favor of the parent’s assessment of the situation. One example would be the child who is raised in a violent household but is expected to see his parents as loving and peaceful. In later life this person will have a difficult time determining how to behave appropriately in a variety of situations. Indeed, this person will spend an inordinate amount of energy trying to decipher exactly how he “should” interpret the situation.”

For more detailed information on the symbolism of the Ankh, please see the following website: http://www.holoweb.net/~liam/pictures/ankh/ankh.html

For some really good information on the “double bind” concept, please see the following Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind.html

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Meta Crime

Meta Crime:

The Muse has been Misused as a Human Sacrifice

At the end of this paper is a numbered list, for those who receive this and do not have the time to read the whole story. I beg you to please read it before dismissing this text. I just want someone to see the truth before I die.

Meta- “about, after, beyond, or behind”. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta and also http://www.thefreedictionary.com/meta-

I have seen the following definitions in paperback dictionaries and on the internet:

Mu- “12th letter of the Greek alphabet”.

Sic- “as written”, “intentionally so written”, also “ill” or “unwell”.

As Oscar Wilde said: “Life imitates art far more than art imitates life”, but if your birthday happens to fall on 12/12, your life may imitate art, music, movies, and literature far more than you or anyone around you might want to admit.

Now take a look at the following image:

The Hanged Man Rider Waite

Most so-called “spiritualists” would admit that an intent can be amplified by repitition. There are at least 1000 various tarot decks which have an upside-down figure as the 12th trump, and at least three decks showing a serpent somehow connected to that figure’s head. There have to be at least a million printings of the Thoth deck, which has that configuration. This has created a negative metaphysical effect not only in my life, but also in the life of one other person I have met with a 12/12 birthdate.

I have heard it said that human beings have a problem “living life on life’s terms”, which I have heard said about myself as well. Above is the image of The Hanged Man card of the Rider-Waite Tarot, also called The Hanged Traitor. I ask you to consider what “life on life’s terms” would mean to someone was tied to this card via black magic. This person has been metaphorically upside-down all their lives, and was therefore betrayed the very moment of birth. I believe that this card is used on individuals with a particular birthdate/numerology, to manipulate them into being negative people so they can justify demonizing them. I may be killed or imprisoned for writing this, but I am already wishing I had never been born, because in a way, I have already been imprisoned, for I have been living in pain and fear for almost four years now. I feel like I am literally being tortured with the pain, V2K voices, and what is known as gang-stalking. I urge anyone reading this to look up an online book called The Silent Massacre, which describes some of the things above that are happening to me, proving that I am not lying. Two very compelling reasons I am concerned that I won’t be alive much longer is that: 1) the author of Hell Minus One, Anne Johnson-Davis, has recently died, and many believe she was killed for talking about what happened to her; and 2) my health has gone down hill considerably over the past three years, ever since I started to talk about what happened to me. I believe that I am not dead already is because killing me off so soon would look too suspicious. Consider it the dying wish of the victim of a “metacrime” that you read this, if only so that someone knows of my plight, since my health has declined rapidly, and especially in the past three months (as of 3/11/2012).

The image of the 12th card of the major arcana of the Rider-Waite tarot deck speaks to the problem I’ve cited in the definitions of the words Mu and Sic, on which I will elaborate later. In almost every tarot deck, and certainly in the large majority of them, this card is shown as an upside-down figure. I believe this to be a pattern, which I also see in Aleister Crowley’s statement that Love should be under Will (mistaken because I know that the chakras of the human body have the heart chakra, love, above the solar plexus, will) was most likely designed to create a desired effect on people, to make everything upside-down. The tarot, however, seems to effect people with a certain birthdate (me and my adoptive mother for instance), and the way others regard them. In most decks, the 12th major arcana card is known as the Hanged Man, or the Hanged Traitor, causing anyone associated with this card to be upside-down and viewed negatively, if even only as a liar, which I believe to be part of mind control pattern, created by black magicians, causing the person represented by the character in that image to be literally upside-down, so they can easily be preyed upon like domesticated animals. This fact is even more disturbing when one sees that my initials spell the name of a domesticated animal. While it seems like some sort of deranged and inhumane sport, it is really not very sporting, since the victim isn’t even given half a chance. Incidentally, my initials are C.A.T., and I have to wonder if there is some D.O.G. out there who is going through a similar situation.

I write this to prove that I was manipulated into “dedicating my soul to Satan” against my will. I say “against my will” because I have heard voices say that my soul was “given freely”, but it was not, because I do not believe I ever truly had “freewill” in the first place, as you will see if you read on, but especially if you consider that I was specifically tied to the 12th Trump of the Thoth deck, showing an unconscious person hanging upside-down from an upside-down ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life and fertility, causing me to view life and fertility in a decidedly skewed way, while the serpent at the head of the figure could either represent Satan or the “serpent class”:

The Dying God

Again, I remind the reader of the call of some to “live life on life’s terms”, yet no one addresses what exactly this entails. Living “life on life’s terms” would include freewill, something I have been lacking my whole life, but didn’t know it until more recently. I have heard people tout the virtues of living in a free market economy, and even a free country, but how do they know that either is truly free, when so many are suffering? Could this suffering be engineered so that others could enjoy watching it? Better yet, could it be so that others could profit from it?

I feel that Oscar Wilde’s sentiment that “life imitates art far more than art imitates life” must be considered when it is an art, such as the tarot, that has had an impact on so many people whether they know it or not, because these decks were created by masters of the occult long before any of us were born. Unfortunately for me, life imitates art, and most of the art I see on television (the most widely ingested art form out there), paints a very bad picture of the ones established as targets, so that everyone around them will view them as some sort of criminal, even though they are not; they are the unfortunate victims of a hideous crime, designed to make them look like whatever those in control desire.

What I am talking about here is Mind Control and Ritual Abuse (MC/RA) on a metaphysical scale, one that includes, but is not limited to, the typical MC/RA patterns that I have seen posted about on the internet. By using an adoptee, the victim is easily isolated later in life. Although there is no excuse for this kind of spiritual and metaphysical manipulation throughout one’s life, the perpetrators rationalize that it’s all right to do this to a newborn baby, because it is really just “a bastard”. They use a female because they are more vulnerable, making what was done to me even more insidious.

Individually, the following information may not amount to much, but when taken into account together, it cannot be ignored that this has been done on purpose, to make a victim out of a newborn child. The only reason I can imagine anyone doing this to a newborn baby (which is when it began), is to make some sort of sacrifice, but I was not really willing, because I was being manipulated throughout my whole life and never knew it. What was stolen from me the very day I began my life is something that cannot be repaid completely. By mind controlling me into making the supposed “deal with the devil” when I believed I was aligning myself to a higher power, those who have stolen my life from me, since the beginning of it, think they are getting out of paying me back for all they have stolen from me.

As it stands, I am not making any kind of profit from my story. I submit this to you in the hopes that someone will know the truth, and perhaps help me on a spiritual or metaphysical level. You see, when I began to learn about what has happened to me, I was cut off from the internet, thus making it next to impossible for me to research what happened to me, or to get my story out. I have had to put myself in harms way just to do the research to discover what has been going on my whole life.

I cannot believe that God would do this to a human being, despite what I have read in the bible concerning bastards. Considering what I have seen in the tarot, I now realize that it couldn’t be God, as it could have only been certain occultists that set this whole situation up in the first place, as if to be the privileged spectators of some horrible game of human sacrifice, somewhat similar to what the Aztecs were reported to have done, but worse, because it is done on a subliminal level.

I remember being about six or seven years old when I had the following concept: “What if everything we see before us isn’t truly real and it is actually some sort of façade that someone else wants us to see, blocking out the true reality?” About 25 years later, I would see that concept in a movie called The Matrix. I believe the reason I had this concept was because on some deeper level, I felt that what I was being told to me about life and the reality were lies. They were lies designed to make me feel responsible for every success and failure in my life, when the reality is that I never had any real control over my own destiny, as I will show below.  

I keep hoping that one day, I will wake up and my nightmare will be over, and while the pain has only been happening to me for almost four years, I now realize that on many levels, this has been happening to me my whole life. Lest you think I am a liar, please remember that history has been written by the winners, but that doesn’t make that history the truth. I submit to you that not only has our accepted history been spun to us with a biased slant, but that it also has an effect on the future in a way that is only known to those who engineer that history.

I am pretty sure that everyone knows that the word “government” means “control of the mind”, as I have heard the author, Michael Tsarion say in an interview. It is pretty easy to see that the word “govern” means control, and the word “ment” refers to the mind. Beyond that fact, I will show how our entire language has been manipulated to control people to think, believe, and behave in certain ways desirable to those in power; both in the microcosm and the macrocosm of our culture (notice the word “culture” has the word “cult” in it, for example). This means that language can: not only effect a person’s beliefs to their own detriment; but it can also shape they way a group of people think about an individual, such as what occurs in gang-stalking, for example. In this paper, I prove how not only language was used to effect me in particular, but how tarot cards and the bible, two seemingly oppositional objects, have been used with my particular numerology against me, and I can only assume, many others like me. After reading this, you the reader may decide to examine these topics to see how you have been affected as well. For example, Pythagorean Numerology shows my numbers to be 22, 11, and 8. One look at the #11 card of the Thoth deck shows something that happened to me, causing a major trauma to my spirit:


“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way” (from the movie, Who Framed Rodger Rabbit)

This particular detail, which I experienced while alone in a foreclosed house with no water or power, felt like etheric rape to me. The fact is that, in most tarot decks, this card is usually the “Justice” card:


This tells me that Crowley had something disturbing in mind when he created his deck; that he did not want to see any true concept of justice in the world because he preferred the whole concept of “Do what thou wilt”, without any accountability for causing so much damage to people down the line. Something else that must be considered is the fact that 9/11 could mean “no justice”, when you see that nine means “no” in German, and the original meaning of the last card shown was “Justice”.

What has happened to me in total, can only be described as a spiritual torture, done on a metaphysical level, causing the victim (me) to misunderstand almost everything in life, including the whole concept of God, and it caused me to be manipulated enough to make a contract to Satan, thinking that Satan was God, which is why I believe it was not done of my own true free will, as I will prove in the following paragraphs. Before this happened, I was learning the healing art of Reiki, which should tell you that I had a higher purpose in mind; one of healing others. I had been achieving a metanoia in my life, and was making every effort to become a better person when events in my life took a disturbing turn, which includes the V2K voices, the DEWs, and gang-stalking, which can be further studied in the e-book, The Silent Massacre, as mentioned. The fact that someone else has written about these things, and that there is a legal case currently pending about those three things I just mentioned, tells me that I am not a liar. There are other victims besides myself.

To the reader, in case I don’t survive: my story might make a good screenplay, even if it is done postmortem, or if I am imprisoned, as I have heard one of these vicious “voice to skull” (known as “V2K” online) voices say more recently. I have also heard them say that they would make a liar out of me, but I swear on all that is sacred that I am telling the absolute truth, and if one reads what I have written here, they will see that it is the truth, because it simply cannot be denied: the facts are just too compelling to ignore.

Let it be known that, before I began to get vocal about what I discovered, I had a completely steady work history, despite the unbearable sadness in my life (the reasons for which I now understand). It now seems that I’ve been blacklisted, keeping me from having money and insurance (therefore I cannot protect my health or hire a lawyer), and making it easy for people to label me as a user, and a bum, so no one would care about what happens to me. As I mentioned earlier, before things became really bad for me, I was studying Reiki and other forms of energy healing, and I was searching spiritually. Previously, I had not been the most spiritual person in my life, but I was changing in a positive way, so I find it ironic that these things began to happen to me during this time in my life. The more spiritual part of me begs the question: What if on the “meta” level, this is a moral test for those who are and have been demonizing me?

I have been in extreme, physical pain for over three years now, which feels like glass, knives, or electricity in my female parts, with strange contractions and swelling, and I just don’t know how much longer I can stand it. I have felt the pain of something being pushed up under my toenails and fingernails, which could be a flashback according to the research I have done online about Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) flashbacks. However, I have also felt hotspots in various parts of my body, which could be what I have heard described as Directed Energy Weapons (DEWs), which have been mentally and physically torturing me. The attacks are a backlash because I started to talk online about what I’ve been going through. Recently, I felt something go right through my eyeball. The “V2K” voices have said that this is happening because “I sin”, but had I been allowed to live a “relatively normal” life, with actual freewill, from the beginning, I would have been more moral, and I wouldn’t have ever felt the need for the escape I have craved my whole life. Let it be known that I am currently taking only nonprescription pain relief at the moment, even though it does not work very well on my pain, which I can accurately say, feels like some sort of amplified “tens unit” delivering shocks and causing contractions inside my vagina.

Before continuing, I ask you to imagine the life of Pit Bulls, how they are raised, and how most end up. I am actually a living miracle, when you consider the fact that I didn’t wind up a serial killer or something. I am actually a living miracle when you consider that I am not currently using any illegal drugs, and have I not been arrested, or convicted of any crime for over ten years, arrested only twice in my life, and for nonviolent crimes. I also ask you to consider the fact that I love my daughter, enough to come back to live with a man who cost me my job, took my daughter away from me, abandoned me in a foreclosed house, and blamed me for everything (even though I warned him not to move there). I came back to him just so I could try to take care of my daughter better than I was taken care of by my own mother. I do not say this to attack the character of my ex. Perhaps he is unconscious of the repercussions of his behavior towards me; perhaps not. It is important to keep in mind that this is a man who grabbed me, threw me on the ground, and then called the cops on me, accusing me of being the abuser. Because I had only my mother who was not living nearby, and my brother and father living out of state, it was very easy for my ex to blame me for everything.

My mother was a gambler and my father was a drinker, but these types of issues are common to many adults in this world today. The difference in my story is that much of the damage to me occurred before and when I was born, but took years to take effect on me. Even though I was originally a very bright (top 2% of my class) and loving child, what happened to me mad me a very negative person in the long run. Then, just at a time in my life when I was purposefully trying to change to a positive outlook on life, something horrible happened to me, causing me a terrible pain that has caused me to change in a negative way. Before all of this happened, I had a good job, and took good care of my daughter, despite what others might say after I’m gone, because, as most people know by now, and as I’ve mentioned before, history is written by the winners.

It began, probably, with a Catholic agency involved in human trafficking (through which I was adopted, and I have the certificate to prove it). I am not blaming the agency as a whole, but I am indicating that there were some people involved in what happened to me. By finding a pregnant woman, who would be due to give birth sometime in January, and then inducing her so that I would be born, as a premature baby (as most ritual abuse victims are), it would be easy to then program me while I was still in custody of the agency. By holding the child, in custody of the adoption agency, with no parental bonding, for the first six weeks of life (born 12/12/1967, adopted 1/22/1968), it caused an abandonment syndrome, right from the start. I have seen studies done on monkeys, showing this psychological effect. I believe it is very possible that these lumps in front of each ear, which I think are some sort of radio-frequency chip, could have been implanted when I was a newborn. My adoptive mother (my father being away on business trips for most of my childhood) left me alone more often than not during the whole of my childhood, leaving me, the victim, feeling completely unloved throughout childhood, making it very easy for me to be influenced by future boyfriends, since I lacked the necessary father figure. As you read on, however, you will see that my parents were the least of my worries.

I say that I am the victim of a “metacrime”, because I believe it has been happening on metaphysical, metaphoric, spiritual, and also physical levels. This was designed not only to make sure I had no success in this life, but also to make sure that I would make a so-called “deal with the devil”, even though I didn’t think of it as a deal, per se, because I thought I was aligning myself to a higher power, which isn’t hard to believe when you consider that I had been figuratively hanging upside-down for my whole life.

It is known that certain dates are important to the illuminati, and that they will induce labor on a woman, say a woman who is being used as a breeder, to be sure of a specific birthdate. For me, that birthdate is 12/12, a number not only significant in the Tarot, but also prominent in the Bible, as well as in everyday life, as in a 12 pack of beer, for example. The high visibility of the number 12 in our culture allowed certain men to manipulate my ego in a negative way, making me feel that I was special in some way, so that I would then be an easy target to be controlled by some very malevolent people. In most tarot decks, the 12th card of the major arcana denotes sacrifice, but I feel it implies something much worse. Notice the 12th card of the major arcana of the Thoth Tarot deck, called “The Hanged Man”, but also called the “Dying God” in The Book of Thoth. In this card, the figure is upside-down, pinned down, with eyes closed, denoting a confused existence of unconsciousness, in which the character is unable to do anything about his/her circumstances. Above his/her head, at the bottom of the card is a snake, which represents the serpent class, those who gain the most out of this situation, which has of course been caused by them in the first place. Another thing to note about this card is that the so-called “Dying God” is hanging from an ankh (the Egyptian symbol for eternal life), which is also upside-down, with the implication that the whole of life is also upside-down. Let it be known that I did not ask to be born on that date, and had I been born on any other day, my life would have been much better for me and those around me. I say this in response to those who contend that this is just my karma.

   Please notice that the word, “MUSIC”, consists of two words: MU meaning “the 12th letter of the Greek alphabet”; and SIC meaning “as written” (From Wikipedia: The adverb sic – meaning “intentionally so written”, first appeared in English circa 1856); “unwell or ill”; or as in “sic the dog”. So, the word, “MUSIC” can be read as “12 AS WRITTEN” or “12 ILL”. Of course, one can also consider the word in the form, “MUSE SICK”. I find it cruelly ironic that bits and pieces of my life story can be found in much of the music from the 80’s on up to today, from artists such as Kate Bush (especially songs like “Experiment IV”, “Hammer Horror”, “Them Heavy People”), Peter Gabriel, Sonic Youth, Tool, The Pixies (see “Monkey Gone To Heaven”), Pearl Jam (most specifically, the song, “Black”), Nirvana (“In Bloom”, the line: “sell the kids for food”), Smashing Pumpkins,  Chevelle, Cavo, Five Finger Death Punch, and so much of the pop music lately, but also from hip hop and rap artists of the 90’s and 2000’s. As an aside, I know of a guy named Brian Repetto, who has a music label actually called “Screw Music Forever”, which I find disconcerting, reminding of the fact that this was done to me on purpose. Considering the fact that this was all done before I was even born, I am reminded of a Smashing Pumpkins’ song called “Holding Back the Fool”, which begins, “I knew my loss… before I even knew to speak…” which in itself speaks volumes about my personal situation.

One reason why I feel I might not make it is that I have heard a voice say that this is what they do to “Two J’s”, which is from a hip hop song, making me think this is a connection to the tarot that was made long before I was ever born, to make it easier to manipulate me throughout my whole life. The so-called “Dying God”, the 12th major arcana card of the Thoth tarot deck, indicates a Jesus-type character, and my birthdate being 12/12 indicates two of this character, hence the word “two-j”. I am not saying that I am any kind of “Jesus”, only that I have been and still am being crucified like one, since I have been blamed by many people in my life for things that are so obviously beyond my control. Blaming me is like “cutting the legs off of a sheep and then blaming the sheep for not being able to stand”, as I heard the interviewer Jan Irving say once in an online interview called “The Trees of Knowledge”.

   What happened to me is a heinous, metaphysical form of torture, done on an unwitting participant/sacrifice, in which the victim is betrayed the very moment they are born, involves numerous variables besides just the birthday. For example, I was given initials spelling CAT, even though my mother didn’t care that much for cats, because the word relates to certain derogatory terms, such as: “catty”, “pussy cat”, “scaredy cat”, “cataclysm”, “catastrophe”, and so on,  having a malevolent effects on me, beginning in my teenage years. My first two names, Cheryl and Ann, associate me with the word CHAOS: CH and A, and the word Os, meaning “opening” or “vagina”, which is particularly demeaning. The reason I believe I was made to be associated with the word chaos, is so the secret societies involved in the well-known “order ab chaos” plan (which you can look up on the internet to verify) could get their so-called “order”, in my daughter, whose initials spell LAW. I will say this: that the “order ab chaos” plan does seem to come from a natural law, as I have seen in the book, The Seven Life Lessons of Chaos, by Peat and Briggs, however to do this to a human being is not natural, and is, in fact, the epitome of cruelty.

When I consider how fabricated and orchestrated my life has been, I have to wonder how much of our own history is actually real. As I said before, history (his story) is written by the winners. When I think about how many people have been killed, like Anne Johnson-Davis or Aaron Russo (who made the movie, America: From Freedom to Fascism), or silenced because of what they have written or spoken about, along with the fact that my own health has declined significantly over the past three years, I realize that most of what we know is only what we are allowed to know.

I was originally inclined to write with the left hand, but the neighbor who taught me to write told me that it was evil to be left-handed, thus robbing me of my natural left-handedness, which might have allowed me to be smarter (as studies suggest), or at least more able to persevere, which is something I have observed in left-handers that I know. Please note that studies of stroke victims have shown that the right brain controls the left part of the body, and vice a versa. If this is true, then doesn’t it make sense that making someone write with the right hand, when they are naturally left inclined would, figuratively and/or literally, take them out of their proverbial “right mind”? With that in mind, I now ask the reader to consider the word “right”, and how it is used in our language. “Right mind” is one example I have shown, in which the word “right” denotes direction, but also correctness. Then there is “all-right”, meaning “okay”. It then becomes obvious that the word “right” has been misused on other occasions, especially when the so-called “conservative” political party is known as the “right wing”. This also begs the following question, one which I have been asking myself for the past three years now: What if everyone on this planet are naturally left-inclined, but were made to write with the right hand? What does that imply for our world? Does it mean we have world full of people who are out of their right minds? It may seem ludicrous at first, but when the other patterns of language I have noted are taken into account, it may seem less so.

After my parents divorced, when I was around nine years old, my mother and I moved to a place called Vieux Carre, in Lutz, near theUniversityofSouth Florida. It was here that I met my friend Claudia, who had the initials, CLT, which shows that she and I might have been some sort of sex slaves/breeders… CLT could be read as “clit”, while my initials, which spell the word CAT, obviously connects to the word “pussy cat”. It was when I was living there, that I was date-raped by a 21 year old man, when I was 16. I remember him being on top of me, and my hands were around his throat as I tried in vain to get him to stop, while yelling, “Stop, stop, please stop!” My mother was friends with this man, who would later show up to visit us around Christmas time, that same year. When he showed up, I acted like a complete idiot, because I was so obviously stunted in my psychological growth, and because I was so very immature, since my mother really didn’t teach me much besides how to do dishes and cleaning the many mirrors in that home. I should note here that those mirrors were everywhere, on the bedroom suites, the coffee table, the closet doors, even the wallpaper.

It bears repeating that those things I’ve listed above (my 12/12 birthdate in relation to the tarot, and in relation to the word “music”; my initials, CAT, relating to things such as “pussy cat”, “catty”, “catastrophe”, “cataclysm”, etc.; my and my daughter’s initials LAW, in relation to the illuminati’s plan of “order ab chaos”; and the fact that I was taken out of my “right mind” by getting me to be right handed against my natural inclination); growing up with someone who had the initials, CLT; if taken separately, might not mean anything at all, but when they exist, all in one person’s life, together with the other things I am going to show below, it becomes harder and harder to ignore the fact that I was set up since birth, to be some sort of scapegoat, a sacrificial lamb; a cruel irony, considering the implants in front of each of my ears. I have heard voices say that “we travel faster without karma”, which makes me wonder if I am being used to take the karma for others, which in itself is what I would call a “metacrime”.

When I was a child, I was very loving and friendly, and I was a good kid. Even my mother said I was an angel when I was a little kid. It took a long time for those things I have listed above to have their effects on me. I was a smart and good kid who loved her parents and her brother, who loved animals, who was thoughtful and considerate, and who would never hurt anyone. The only way I have actually harmed anyone is that I have: a) had two abortions, for which I am absolutely sorry, and for which I humbly beg God for forgiveness; and b) I was cruel to a guy who punched me out and shoved me into a sliding glass door, during a “punk” phase of my life, an act for which I am still, truly very sorry, because it was a retaliation, for which I also humbly beg God for forgiveness. Regarding the two abortions: I submit that the fact that being mindcontrolled in a breeder program, in a country which demanded that women have careers, had an effect on me, causing me to be somewhat driven by my programming, at the same time, wanting to have a career, giving me a deep psychological conflict, which I was unable to resolve. Regarding the rest of my bad behavior in my life: I submit that, by being manipulated on such a fundamental level, as a newborn baby, I was never quite well in the first place, leaving me wide open to manipulation by people, movies, music, television, etc. The fact that I also have these implants, located in front of each ear, tells me that subliminal messages delivered via those implants could be responsible for many of my bad decisions. While I started out as a very loving child, by the time I got to high school, I became very rebellious and angry. I then got into the whole punk scene, which fueled my rebellion further, putting me at worse odds with my divorced mother.

Unfortunately, I had an unloving and absent adoptive mother, born on 4/4, who used the Dr. Spock (Benjamin) method of caring for infants, which advocated leaving the child to scream in the crib for hours, with the supposed goal of producing self-soothing behavior, but which usually caused emotional deficits, and some would argue the whole method to be cruel to the baby. This is a woman who wouldn’t take her daughter to a psychologist when she found out that daughter was cutting and burning herself at 15 years old. Instead, she would only complain about the stains on the clothing. As an adult, I noticed how cruel she could be when I heard her telling her boyfriend at the time that he was a “weak little man” when he was unable to quit smoking. I bet being around her made it near impossible for him to quit. Notice the Emperor card from the Thoth tarot deck, as shown:

Besides the title of the card, its colors co-notate authority and power, which a woman like that should have never had over a child. A 4/4 raising a 12/12 seems to be either an unfortunate accident, or a terrible plot. Taken into account with the other facts I have written about here, it was obviously done on purpose. She called me stupid all of the time, and told me that I would never amount to anything in my life. She also had me selling hot dogs, at construction sites, in a bikini, when I was only 14 years old. It cannot be denied that these things caused a sort of mental and/or intellectual handicap, considering the fact that when I was in grade school, I had above average intelligence and was in the top two percent of my class, but as I got older, my grades fell to average (I was lucky to graduate high school with a C average).  Since my dad was away on business trips during the first nine years of my life, when my parents were still married, and then living in another state after the divorce, I lacked a father figure in my life, leaving me easily influenced by boyfriends, once I reached my teen years and beyond.

While many people blame their parents for the way their station in life, my absent parents were the least of my problems, due to concerns noted above. However, because my parents were mostly absent and used TV as a babysitter, which is known to produce hypnotic effects in general, but especially on a little child, I was an easy subject of post hypnotic suggestion. I say this because I had a math teacher in high school call me a drug addict before I had ever began to experiment with drugs, which might have had the effect of a post hypnotic suggestion, because I did end up turning to drugs, as my only relief from what I saw as a very messed up society. What is really sad is that God only knows what they did to me during those first eight weeks of my life, as I certainly cannot remember it. Knowing about MC/RA (mind control and ritual abuse), one can only imagine what they did to me when I was born, but it most likely included some form of torture. I have read that when the child is very young, abusers will invoke a demon into the child. If this is true, and if it is taken in combination with the other things I have shown in this paper, my negativity throughout most of my life begins to make allot more sense.

Before you read on, please note that I am due to inherit 2.5 million dollars, which would be one half of the balance of a class-action, and awarded, tobacco lawsuit in which my deceased mother was involved. I mention this because the last time I spoke with my brother, the executor of her estate, he told me, “You won’t live”, which leads me to believe that he is a part of this scheme against me, although it seems to have been going on my whole life.

It should also be noted that, ever since I became vocal on the internet about certain things regarding my situation, I became a target for gang-stalking and voices coming through these palpable implants, located in front of each ear, at the top, where the ear meets the head. The voices are telling me that I am being set up for some crime I haven’t committed, which is not the known definition of a “Manchurian Candidate”, i.e. someone who is mind-controlled to assassinate a target, so that the ones controlling the assassin don’t have to take any responsibility for a murder. The way I see it, the “Manchurian Candidate” could be a “scapegoat”; the fall guy for the assassin, and is therefore not actually the assassin himself. When I think of the threats I have heard via these implants, I am in fear that some cop is going to bust through the door and plant some bogus evidence on me, to make it believable, so that I would be held liable for some horrible crime I didn’t commit, and then thrown in jail for life, or worse. I pray that this is not the case and I ask you to pray for me as well. The fact that I have been the victim of setups by authorities in the past, twice to be exact, makes me fear this to be the case. One such event was when my mother blamed me for stealing $800.00 and her credit cards, a crime I didn’t commit, but had to confess to, in order to remain out of jail (at least, that’s what the police told me at the time). Later, I found out that she was a big gambler.

I believe that my exboyfriend was recruited into this set up against me, because he easily abandoned me in the house he let go into foreclosure, the same house I begged him not to make us move into. His whole family seemed to be against me, and he kept my daughter away from me for over three years, by moving out of the county, which broke the law and had a negative impact on my daughter. It even seems like my own daughter is against me, among other people, when I hear them imply that I am just a bum, or that I’m lazy. My answer to these people is that, before all this happened to me, I had a good job, at which I worked very hard, and, if I wasn’t in this awful pain, or if I could get some appropriate medical attention, and if I wasn’t afraid that I would be picked up for some crime I haven’t committed, I might already have a job.

My ex and I were together in our 20’s, but we broke up not long after we had a son, whom we placed for adoption. I believe us getting back together after all those years (when we were in our 30’s) was a set up, because we ran into each other, at a Super Wal-Mart, in 2003, when his girlfriend brought him there, and my friends brought me there. I think we were set up at that time, because I was in my late thirties, and my biological clock was ticking. I believe he abandoned me there because this effectively cut me off from my job, and from access to the internet, to keep me from learning the truth about what was happening to me, and to keep me from being able to reach out to anyone who might have been able to help me. I find it odd that one of my so-called best friends, who had told me she loved me on numerous occasions, would not even let me come over to talk to her when he left me. When he originally left me, in August of 2008, taking our daughter, he promised that he would leave me with one of the two vehicles we had, so I could go look for, and have transportation to, a job. He didn’t do that, and my pain started one month later, making it near impossible for me to walk at the time. It was all I could do to walk to the store for food.

While I was stuck in that house with no power or water, in excruciating pain, I actually saw my ex come through the neighborhood at least once a week, telling the neighbors lies about me. Three and a half years later, he talked me into moving back in with him to take care of our daughter, by promising me certain things, like that he would get an over the road job, so I could afford to go to a real doctor, which I now cannot, since he did not do as promised. He also promised that he would get me a vehicle with his tax refund this year. I wonder if he will go back on that promise as well. Meanwhile, I am still in horrible pain, in my privates, so I cannot even walk very far to go get a job. One thing I will say for my ex: at least he has been willing to help me get to the free clinic for help, although no one is willing to give me a CAT Scan or an MRI to get a diagnosis for my pain. I have had ultrasounds and transvaginal ultrasounds, but still no diagnosis. One common symptom of victims of Ritual Abuse and Mind Control is having symptoms of pain that doctors are unable to diagnose.

The point here is that I honestly believe that I was manipulated to “make a deal with the devil”, because I must have been out of my right mind to believe I was aligning myself with a higher power. Not long after I made that contract, I did a spell in which I asked for “the power, the strength, the courage, the will, the wisdom, and the ability to overcome all obstacles”. I have not received this, so I sincerely hope I am not going to hell.

Another thing that attests to the fact that I was manipulated is that I was in a Yahoo email group called “Wingmakers for Humanity/Masters of the Shamballa 1024, in which the leader, a woman named June who called herself “Athena” actually posted online that she was using a technique called “mindbending”, and that she was “adjusting people’s merkabas”. I can no longer doubt that she used these techniques on me, as well as other members of the group. Later, she would post that they were “harvesting human souls”. I beg the true and forgiving God of the universe: “Please don’t let her get away with what she is doing”. I don’t believe that I deserve to go to a place of eternal damnation, regardless of how I have lived my life, because I was not really allowed to have freewill in the first place, but also because I have been largely unconscious of the effects I might have had on other people. I beg the True and Just God of the universe to see the whole truth about what has happened to me, and to forgive me based on that whole truth.

Now that I am looking back on my life, I can see that I have been manipulated into bad behavior for most of my 40-something years. The only good thing about any of this is that I now know that my negativity, my sadness, my bad behavior… none of it has been my fault, and there is really nothing I could have done. I was not only upside-down, but I was also taken out of my right mind, as noted above. It is very possible my parents were paid to adopt me (knowing about the catholic church history of child trafficking), and the fact that my brother told me of how my dad would turn of the interior lights off in the car, when he went to meet some man in New York, tells me this could be the case.

With all of these situations written above, does it not seem engineered for me to be disabled in some sort of way, perhaps mentally? Spiritually? Even metaphysically? It sure seems like it was completely done on purpose, as if I am just some kind of experiment or something, or worse: that since before I was born, some group of people were planning on making me some sort of sacrifice, so I was not only born on a specific date and named a very specific name, but I was also programmed with ideas in my head that would make me too embarrassed to talk about it to any therapist.

Just thinking about the word “television” as “tell-a-vision” should be enough to let anyone see that what I am saying is true. If I was a victim of the MK Ultra program, or some others, like Artichoke, or whatever, (which makes sense when you consider the facts, as well as the fact that these classified programs were happening back then, when I was born), and made super sensitive to this stuff, on a subconscious level, so that I didn’t know what was happening to me, then the wreck I call my life begins to make a whole lot of sense. Part of it is connected to the fact that I was drowned at three years old, which fits the classic pattern of Ritual Abuse survivors. No one should be able to blame me for anything, considering what is on these pages.

My brother was ten years older than I, and they had him away at a boarding school (Jesuit High) most of the time that we lived inTempleTerrace, at712 Druid Hills Road. While I always loved and looked up to my brother, he did certain things to me as a child that were horrible, despite the fact that he apparently saved my life when he came home one day and I was floating, face-down in our pool, when I was three years old, and had been left alone with my mother. For instance, I remember him showing me his penis when I was around six years old, but the memory stops after that. Once, when I was fifteen, he brought me a dress from some place he had visited, and it looked like a wedding dress. When I was around six or seven, he chased me and my cousin, Amanda, around the house with a butcher knife. At one point, he wrapped me up in a blanket, saying that he had a surprise for me, and he tossed me down the stairs. These things all speak to the way I was betrayed even by my own family

I have heard voices calling me a traitor. However, it must be said that I was betrayed first (as proven above, and in the paragraph below this one). I was betrayed the very moment I was born! These are the same voices telling me to quit smoking, although they have not lived my life and have no idea what it is like to be tortured as I have. It is these voices, delivered via “voice to skull” communication through two implants, one at each ear, that continue to berate me, saying things such as “get a job”, “she’s just a bastard anyway”, “we don’t need no aging mothers” (which rhymes to a part in the Kate Bush song called Experiment IV, which I have noted below), “quit smoking”, and “go to hell”, among other horrible things designed to make me a nervous wreck. It is as if they are trying to berate and scare me to death. There is no excuse for what they are doing to me. They also threaten me by telling me that I’m going to have a heart attack, but if they weren’t doing this to me in the first place, I might’ve been able to suit smoking by now. This harassment never ceases. I wish I could do something to stop it.

Why? Oh why do this? Why mentally mess with an individual her whole life, get plenty of material for music, movies, etc. as a result, use that same music against her, and then blame this individual for the mess in which her life wound up? When I internally ask this question, I hear a voice respond that it is because I was very bad. However, had I not been set up this way when I was born, had I not been connected to the tarot and mu-sic via my birthday and my name; had I not started at the deficit certain people made sure of; had I really had freewill like I had been told, then I would have never been that bad in the first place.

Now I refer you to that song by Kate Bush called “Experiment IV”, in which they sing that they were working on “a sound that could kill someone from a distance”. The phrase, “from the painful cries of mothers…to the terrifying screams” relates to a flashback I have of my mother holding me down while a doctor stuck some very painful instrument in my privates, during which I could actually hear my own screams. Here is another example of the fourth card of the major arcana of a different tarot deck:

My mother (whose birthday is 4/4) was there, for the cone biopsy procedure done right after my daughter was born via C-section, during which I was under general anesthetic, so I don’t doubt the flashback I had of her being involved when that doctor put something in my privates, causing me to scream out in horrible pain. However, I don’t blame my mother because I believe she was a victim also. Recall that she was born on 4/4, and how her behavior was very selfish and cruel. Also, notice that in each Emperor card I have shown, the man is holding a ball. My mother was an avid bowler, which I find strangely telling regarding the hold these cards may have over certain people’s lives.

I must also mention that I used to listen to allot of internet radio interviews, as well as downloaded music, and it is very possible that I was hearing subliminal messages coming from those internet interviews/music selections, through headphones, as well as through my palpable implants in front of each ear.

As I mentioned earlier, before all these terrible things happened to me, I had a good job, which I loved, working for an online quartz crystal retailer. I was learning fast, but I had allot on my plate at the time. I was also learning about energy healing, which led me to certain email groups, such as Wingmakers. I had never been into magic, but something sort of came over me. My friend was into magic and conspiracy, and it was with her that I began to learn about Sumeria. I really thought she was my friend. Now I am not so sure that she ever truly cared for me, because when I needed her the most, she would not speak to me.

One thing that happened to me, while I was in that house, which was very disturbing was that a man, or perhaps it was just his image, whom I thought believed in/upheld the truth, used etheric energy to roll some sort of an energy ball (see the images of the Emperor Card I have shown) right into my root chakra, which at first felt wonderful. However, not much later, I was in absolute pain in my whole pelvic region, as I still am today. I now wonder if his birthday was 4/4 like my mother. Later, while still in that house, this man seemed to do some sort of etheric surgery on me. He also promised to rescue me, but I now feel that what he did is part of what is killing me, and his false promises allowed him to keep me from discovering and telling the truth. It is interesting to note that the 12th card of the major arcana of most tarot decks shows the Hanged Man’s legs in the position of a number four, as if to say to someone, “The four did it”.

In my early 30’s (I’m in my 40’s now), I got a tattoo on my back that reminds me of an image from this deck, which is also an image found in Sumerian and Egyptian writings. I believe I was mind controlled to get this tattoo, so I could be a target, to later be convinced that I was all sorts of things after learning more aboutEgyptand Sumeria on the internet and in books. I say that I was mind controlled to get the tattoo because I have two, very provable, implants on my head, one located in front of each ear, at the top, where the ear joins to the head. 

I began to discover how I had been manipulated all my life in early to mid 2008, and I began to speak out about it online, in some of the email forums online. By late August of 2008, my boyfriend and father of my daughter were trying to have me locked up, and I lost my job because of it. I believe he did it because I was trying to get him to see the way I had been set up, and he didn’t want to face it. He left me at the end of August of 2008, and let our house go into foreclosure. Of course, the whole family blamed me for everything, even though I had warned my ex-boyfriend not to by the house at the height of the housing bubble our country was experiencing. When I was left in that house with no power or water, and in horrible pain, creating a major trauma, it was easy for those V2K voices to convince me that I was Jesus/Mary/Lucifer/Demon/Whatever because of my B-Day, because of physical sensations in my body, and because I felt I was being crucified by my ex and my family who abandoned me at the time (as I write this, I am reminded of a band called “Jesus and the Mary Chain”).

During that time, I was in a very low state, living with no power or water in 100 degree heat, suffering in pain that had me screaming on and off for the first 3 months. Eventually, I stopped screaming, but the pain remained. One night while I was stuck in that house, in too much pain to get a job and get out of there, a police helicopter flew around the house, late at night, with its spotlight on the house, for at least a half an hour straight, causing me to sit in a corner of the house in absolute fear, which traumatized me even further than the pain did. This incident, while I was living in these deplorable conditions, in excruciating pain, lasting for over two years, is a classic torture/mindcontrol pattern, i.e. trauma on every level: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. To this day, I have a huge fear of helicopters, and noises that sound like helicopters.

While living in that house, a voice told me to get the Thoth Tarot Deck, which is when I saw my tattoo on several of the cards. It was then that I recognized the connection between my birthday and the 12th card of the Major Arcana, and saw the connection between my numerology and much of the rest of that particular deck. Here are some images from that deck:

When I saw The Magus card above, with the Winged Disk in front of the so-called Magus’s private parts, who happens to look like woman named Skinner, with whom I went to art school in the 90’s, I couldn’t help but feel like I had been “screwed” by her (you know, Skinner- “skin the cat”?), the one who seemed to “magically” get my ideas, and who introduced me to heroin, and also to Jeff, who would eventually betray me?

I began to hear voices in mid 2008. At first, they seemed benevolent. After my exboyfriend left me, they told me to get the Thoth tarot deck, which explained much for me, but then they told me to get the Lesser Key of Solomon, which made my situation go from bad to worse. They told me that those responsible for my pain included my ex, my best friend at the time (Kelly, who also abandoned me), people from my past, and certain ex-boyfriends. Since then, I of course had the “God complex”, due to these voices, followed by hearing voices telling me I am Satan of all things. If I was Satan, wouldn’t I be much stronger than I am?

Before my life fell apart completely, I had been working for a company, Healing Crystals, which sold quartz crystals online. When I started, I was just doing link-exchange, but eventually, the owner had me writing item descriptions, writing the articles for the website, responding to customer questions about the crystals he offered, and doing special projects, like working on the crystal-tarot program he put on the site. I had been learning about Reiki and other energy healing modalities, so having employment involving crystals seemed to be aligned with what I was learning.

During this time, I was involved in various online e-groups and forums; some of which were into energy healing, while others were supposedly involved in uncovering various truths. The groups I was in include the following: The “Educate Yourself Forum”, the “Wingmakers for Humanity/Masters of the Shamballa 1024”, and “The New Hermetics Forum”, and “The Unveiling” among others. When I started to become aware of what was happening to me, no one would acknowledge what I was experiencing as any kind of manipulation, which tells me they are controlled opposition groups, or anti-TI. I am not indicting these groups, per se, just some of the members in them, because they seem to be for truth, but when it shows up, they deny it to the end. For example, no one in the New Hermetics Forum was open to the idea that the whole “love under will” thing might be wrong. Even those in the Unveiling Forum were mostly unresponsive to my own “unveiling” of my personal experience of the shadow government, which they seemed to want to expose. Not long after I realized that I was a victim, I lost my job, when Jeff kept trying to have me locked up, and I wasn’t able to work.

At any rate, because it obviously was NOT done of my own true free will, I contend that the contract cannot be held valid, and is null and void. Considering that my whole life had been made to be upside-down and in absolute chaos, purpose, I know that I truly never had freewill in the first place. I read at one website dedicated to MC/RA survivors that contracts like that are considered invalid by God, and I truly hope this to be the case, but when I say that in my head, the V2K voices tell me that the contract is binding.

During the time that it happened, I was working my at-home job on the internet, while trying to take care of my 2 year old daughter and the household, simultaneously, so I obviously had too much on my plate. Also, we were living in a house that we could not afford, which added to my stress. The reason that was in my head, for doing the contract was that, to me, the whole world seemed upside-down, I was learning about ancient civilizations such as Egypt and Sumeria, and listening to interviews on AM radio and also on the internet that talked about this kind of stuff as well as the New World Order, Mind Control, etc. I had read some information from a certain website that equated Satan with a Sumerian God known as Enki, who reportedly had a love for humanity and wanted to help them. I was trying to align myself with a higher power (I know that it sounds ludicrous now), because I felt like I had been missing God for my whole life. In my state of mind at the time, and given that I was receiving subliminals over the TV, internet, and these 2 very provable implants at each ear (in front of the ear, at the top, where the ear joins to the head), I guess I was under their spell. Our country was at war with Iraq, and was about to invade Iran, and I just hated to see all that killing going on. I felt that by doing this, somehow I would help to save the world, which I now realize sounds absolutely crazy. In any case, I was obviously not in my right mind, which is another reason why the contract cannot be binding in my opinion.

Please consider the information above. I realize that some of it may sound crazy, but it does seem to fit a certain pattern, doesn’t it? At the very least, I would make a great case study for a psychologist, or my story would make a great movie, whether I live or die. Since my health has gone down hill considerably over just the past three months, I am thinking I might be dead soon.

I am currently not on any painkillers, unfortunately, but I am in horrible pain, which no one can diagnose. I also hear accusations that I am Satan, or a demon, and that I am evil, which is a lie. I am not guilty! Now that I think of it, I have been screwed by satan my whole life, as seen below.

Notice the image to the right of the winged disk. It looks like a photograph I have seen of Kate Bush on You Tube, in which she is wearing all black (some sort of costume), and is sitting in a position, in which she looks like she is perched on something, like a bird. Her music has a specific importance to me, as it speaks of everything that has been happening to me over the past three and a half years. The image to the left of the winged disk reminds me of the Millennium Falcon from the Star Wars movies.

I continue to have the undesirable effects of DEWs (Directed Energy Weapons), i.e. burning sensations on various parts of my body. Once, I actually felt the sensation of a hot poker, hitting my back and going right through my chest, and since then, I am finding it harder and harder to breathe, even though I am smoking much less (1/2 a pack per day). While I have always been in good health, I currently am feeling very ill, finding it hard to breathe, and having pain in various parts of my body, like the feeling of knives going into my breasts and left ribcage. There are also the previously mentioned electroshock sensations in my vagina with muscle contractions. Voices also claim that they have some sort of evidence against me, and are going to have me arrested although I have never own a gun and I am not doing anything illegal. For example, just now, as I type, I heard a voice say, “You’re going to jail”. It is easy to see that I have become a target for “gang-stalkers”.

In conclusion, I have absolutely been manipulated by many people, but also by music and language. How anyone was able to make me so sensitive to music and movies and language is beyond me, but it is important to mention how words like chow, cow, the cat says “meow” (a cruel joke considering my physically painful situation), tow, etc., relate to my particular problem regarding pain and the word “ow”. Furthermore, words such as: till, still, and chill have the word “ill” in them, as the words march, mars, charm, have the words “harm”, and “mar” in them.

One thing I am sure of is this: I now know why I was sad my whole life and why I became a drug addict. I think that on some level, I knew I had no real chance in this world. What is truly sad is that when I was trying to become free of pain killers, I was given the worst kind of pain I could ever imagine, making it impossible for me to ever be truly free.

Thank you for your attention to this. If you respond, and you do not hear back from me, my name is Cheryl Ann Twyford, (DOB 12/12/67), and I live inFlorida, although I am currently homeless. Please check to see if I am deceased, for I am hearing voices stating that they just want me dead, and that I am already being poisoned. I am getting very scared. I’m unsure if the people I am staying with are in on it. I have a daughter, whom I worry is being targeted also, as she would inherit the balance of that money from the inheritance I previously mentioned (if received) after my debts are paid.

I am getting very worried because the voices are telling me that they are going to set me up for a crime of which I am not guilty. I am so scared that I am being framed. If I end up killing myself because of this, or if I am killed, these people will be guilty of murder and will have to pay the karmic debt. They are already guilty of torture. What has happened to me since my birth indicates that someone, or some people, deliberately set me up to make my life a complete mess. When I tried to change, achieve a metanoia, if you will, someone or something made sure that I would not be able to get better. It must be noted that when someone is being tortured, kept in constant pain, it becomes increasingly difficult to be nice on a regular basis, although I do try as much as I can. Even at my very lowest, I was still trying to help other people around me.

What is being done to me is a Meta Crime, and I just cannot believe that God would allow the perpetrators to get away with what they, or others of their ilk, been doing to me my whole life. They say that I’m just a bastard, so I don’t matter anyway. I have also heard these voices tell me that the whole world is against me and that there is nothing I can do about it. If that is true, I cannot believe what an awful world I am living in, that would do this to a human being who has been a victim her whole life. Shame on them! I guess they figure that as long if it isn’t them who is the victim, then it is all right to do this to someone who was mindcontrolled/manipulated her whole life and made to sell her soul against her true free will (free will?).

I have heard voices say that they did this to me because I have been too bad in this life, but I was made to be this way by folks just like them: People with no compassion or empathy at all. Well, of course I have made many mistakes with negative repercussions, because I was designed to. If you look at all the variables, it cannot be denied that I have been set up since birth as some sort of sacrifice. By making sure that my life would be in chaos, despite my efforts, they would then have an excuse for getting me to sell my soul, by making me think that satan is God. Then, they could torture me with their directed energy weapons and gang-stalking, which is why I am afraid to leave the house.

If someone (who isn’t in on it) would please pray for me, I would really appreciate it. I believe there are forces at work that have used me as a sacrifice, and I am begging God for forgiveness for any of my relatively minor sins, and for doing that contract.


A Victim

The following list is a quick sketch of why I believe that I have been under some sort of mindcontrol my whole life, virtually robbing me of any true free will, thus making it impossible for me to truly or freely consign my soul, thereby making the contract I signed in blood null and void.

1) I was born 12/12/1967, and my adoptive mom’s B-day was 4/4. I believe that I was easily manipulated because of the #12’s high visibility in our culture and in Christianity, and because I was tied, via black magic, to the #12’s representative card in the major arcana of most tarot decks. It is also important for me to say here that the word MU means “12th letter of the the Greek alphabet”, and the word SIC means “as written”, and also “unwell” or “ill”. Therefore the word MUSIC could be read as “12 as written”, but also “12 ill”.

2) I have 3 palpable implants: one located in front of each ear, at the top, where the ear joins to the head, and one located just above the ankle, on the shin of my left leg. I believe they were most likely used to deliver subliminal messages to me, to get me to do negative things that I might not have done otherwise.

3) I was adopted through Catholic Charities. Ritual Abuse often happens to adoptees, and I have read that they use adoptees, which are most often preemies, making them more susceptible to programming.

4) I was drowned at 3y/o, and rescued by my brother, and drowning at 3 is a common pattern for MC/RA survivors.

5) My mother used the Dr. Spock method of child-rearing, which advocates leaving the baby alone in the crib to scream/cry them selves to sleep. My mother was also caught shaking my brother, so I think it’s safe to assume she did the same to me, among other abusive behaviors.

6) I was originally inclined to write with the left hand, told it was evil to be left-handed, so I learned to write with my right. Studies on stroke victims have shown that the right-brain controls the left side of the body. I believe that forcing me to write right-handed had a detrimental impact on my life, by taking me out of me so-called “right mind” at an early age.

7) My initials spell CAT, even though my mother was not particularly fond of cats (as she told me), and I find it ironic that it corresponds to words such as: catty, pussy cat, scaredy cat, catastrophe, cataclysm, etc., and that my whole life has been such a mess. Specifically, regarding the word pussy cat, I am reminded of how my mother had me selling hotdogs at construction sites wearing a bikini, at the age of fourteen. Also, it is interesting to note that I went to art school with a woman with the last name Skinner (“skin the cat”?), who somehow was able to get ideas straight out of my mind without me telling her, and who introduced me to heroin (ruining my art career), as well as my ex-boyfriend, who seems to be in on the plot against me, as he has effectively turned my daughter against me.

8) My daughter’s initials spell LAW (which speaks to the “order ab chaos” plan, which one can look up online), and was delivered via C-Section. I say this because my name Cheryl Ann can combine with the word “OS”, to form the word “CHAOS”.

9) About 3 years ago, I lost my job, was abandoned by my family, and was left in a house that was in foreclosure, with no car, no power/water, and while I was in excruciating pain. During this time, it seems that my daughter was turned against me.

10) As a child, I was much neglected, and mentally/verbally abused, and was allowed to play on the woods by myself at the age of 6, which is when I believe some of their mind control programming and sexual abuse might have happened, but I would need some sort of therapy to uncover these memories. I cannot afford such therapy, as I have lost my job and now have no insurance. I also think it is possible that my implants were given to me at this age, if it was not done at birth.

11) I was a cutter, which is common among survivors of MC/RA, as well as the fact that I tried to commit suicide as a teenager.

12) I have memories of traumatic abuse, involving a doctor and my mother, holding me down, and a blender-like (or could it have been a laser?) instrument was inserted into my vagina. In this memory, I could hear the instrument, feel the pain, and I even heard my own voice screaming, and I heard my mother say, “you’re being such a good hero for your country”, but I cannot imagine what this meant. I believe that this event must’ve happened at the hospital where I had a cervical cone biopsy done, one month after my daughter was born, because I was under a general anesthesia for the procedure, and I cannot remember what happened during it.

13) I tried to commit suicide at 17 years of age, an event that I am now wishing had been successful because of the way my life was controlled.

14)As noted above, I went to art school with a woman with the last name of Skinner (get it, “skin the cat”?). My art career failed, and she ended up with many of my own ideas. How she was able to do that, I have no idea. Yet, she is the one who introduced me to my ex-boyfriend, and also to heroin.

15) My life began to fall apart when I began posting things to certain groups about the government, but it might also have been right around the time that my mom’s class-action lawsuit against the tobacco companies was won. With my mother now deceased, I am awaiting an award (after her debts are paid) of 2.5 million dollars, a split of 5 million between me and my brother. The last time I spoke with him, he told me, “You won’t live”.

I AM the Victim of a Metacrime Addendum:

I have no doubt that I was mindcontrolled to sell my soul, against my true free will, and that because I want people to pray for me, and because I have been vocal about how I was manipulated into it, I have become a target for not only gang stalking, V2K (voice to skull communication”), and also for DEWs (directed energy weapons). I have read about these things online, and there are many other people like me or not, who are being targeted in this way.

I find it sad and disturbing that there is a “blame the victim” mentality going around like a virus, so pervasive that it seems like no one person alone can counteract it. The operative word in that last sentence to me would be “seems”, because I believe that such a mentality (i.e. blaming the unfortunate people who find themselves targets of such morally reprehensible behavior as “gang stalking”) can be overcome by the very truth of what has been happening to me, and I don’t know how many others. I do know they are out there, because I have seen them on the internet.

I write this addendum because I am being targeted by V2K, the voices are saying that they are setting me up for some crime, and last night, I heard them say that they only need a look-a-like. I have been living in fear for over three years, and I just don’t know how much longer I can take this. I am writing this in the hopes that I will be able to have people read it before something like this happens, thereby having a witness.

After one reads the original document regarding the issue of me making that contract, being so manipulated that I believed I was aligning myself to a higher power; it becomes blatantly obvious that I never truly had free will. This is why I am begging God for forgiveness, and I ask you to pray for me.

Let it be known, that it was my mother, who smoked three packs of cigarettes a day during all of my childhood years, who gave me asthma as an infant and who got me addicted to cigarettes in the first place.

Let it also be known that smoking cannot be the cause of any illness I might die of, for my health was almost perfect before this started to happen almost three and a half years ago, except for my asthma. My breathing has gone down hill over the past few months, after I felt the sensation of a hot poker going through the back of my chest, while I was with my exboyfriend and my daughter, at a Disney park about two months ago. I heard a voice say, “I feel bad about his one”, before I felt the sensation of this energy, hitting my back and going straight through my left lung. I guess they didn’t feel too bad about it.

I hear voices telling me that there are no excuses, but if those who own those voices had lived my life, I am sure they would be thinking otherwise. It is these voices that are telling me that I am going to hell and to just shut up about it. It is these same voices that are also telling me that I am going to jail. Well, I hope then, that they will be doomed to live a life such as mine, in which they are made to have a life of complete chaos, on purpose, and then damned after only 40 or so years of life.

I have heard these voices tell me that this is “the system”. I can only understand this “system” to be they way they make people disabled (mentally and/or physically) in the first place, so they can then justify why they are destroying them with their gang stalking, DEWs, and V2K.

By putting my life into chaos, on purpose, having me upside-down and turned around, these evil people got me to make a contract with satan because at the time, I believed he was God. It seems like a horrible crime to me, and I sure wish it possible for me to somehow escape this misery before I die.

It is for the reasons above that I am begging God to “reopen my case” as it were, because I did not have any type of informed consent when I made the contract with satan, because I was not in my right-mind, nor did I truly have freewill, given my circumstances, as written about in this paper. I am begging God to not let me be a sacrifice for some people who are only interested in saving their own hides. Another reason why I am begging God to reopen my case is that I was mindcontrolled into signing that contract by not only those around me, but also by information on the internet regarding Satan being a god.

At this point, I feel like I am no more than somebody’s lunch, or one of those victims in Mel Gibson’s “Apocalypto”, and the sad part is that it was designed to be this way. There is nothing just or correct about it. Anyone I turn to seems to wind up either turning their backs on me, or making it impossible for me to coexist with them when they are either making me spend more money than I can afford, or when they are muttering cruel things under their breath. No one wants to say those things to my face of course, because if they did, they would have to listen to the truth about what has been happening to me, and they might then have to acknowledge it, which would give them guilt for their participation in this cruel plan against me that started since before I was born.

Everything that I have written here explains absolutely why I wasn’t successful as an artist and why I ended up addicted to drugs for long periods in my life, although I am not addicted now, but I am in terrible pain.

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