Trauma, in itself, might be livable, but when combined with negative reinforcement, the results should be obvious.
Here are some examples of my own traumas in childhood, which I feel, combined with other mind control methods (such as TV, music, & movies), contributed to my suggestibility throughout my life:
-Adoptee Trauma (causes separation anxiety, attachment disorder, and is often cited as a cause for borderline personality disorder):
-Mother uses method of allowing baby to scream until she passes out in the crib. I remember climbing out of the crib, at one point, & falling on the tile floor.
-Mother named me with initials that spell “cat”, even though she didn’t even like cats, which she told me.
-Drowning at 3y/o, which is common to ritual abuse victims.
-Being made to write right-handed, against my natural inclination to be left-handed, throwing the brain off its natural balance, making a person even more suggestible.
-Lack of parental role models (father always away on business trips & mother simply away), which primes a person to be suggestible, by making a female victim seek out the missing father figure in her boyfriends. Once found, the female victim will then believe whatever this “father figure” boyfriend tells them, because she has no foundational values from her parents.
-Neglect and verbal abuse from parents is negative reinforcement which has negative effects on any child. Father made fun of me for being slightly overweight, & made up songs about being fat. Mother consistently compared me to relatives & friends, & would often tell me “you are stupid, stupid, stupid, and you’re never going to amount to anything”, which became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
-Television was main babysitter.
-Allowed to play in the woods alone at 6 & 7 years old.
-Being allowed to watch movies like “Rosemary’s Baby”, “The Omen”, & “The Exorcist”, before the age of 7.
-Physical abuse from brother. Ex: He wrapped me up in a blanket & pushed down the stairs. I must’ve been about 4 or 5, since my head didn’t hit the bannister & my feet didn’t touch the wall. Got to the bottom to find my parents standing over me, pointing their fingers & laughing at me.
-2nd drowning at 12y/o.
-Mother had me selling hotdogs in a bikini at construction sites at 14y/o.
-Raped at 16y/o by a 21y/o male friend of my mother’s.
-Railroaded into making a false confession at 17y/o, when someone supposedly stole my mother’s wallet (years later, I would find out she was a heavy gambler). The cops/detectives in that case weren’t really interested in finding the truth, they just wanted to close the case. They knew at 17y/o, I didn’t know my rights, & told me that if I didn’t confess, they would throw me in jail.
Trauma, mixed with neglect, television, & implants (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74Os-iN9J0Q) combine to make mind control a breeze for the handler(s). Implants, possibly used during sleep, allows for post hypnotic suggestion, making the victim a virtual puppet by removing freewill.
The trauma I suffered, along with neglect and verbal abuse, forced me into a situation of reacting to negative programming, put in place at a young age.
I continue to write about this in the hopes that someone will see why what is happening to me is absolutely wrong & not my fault. When a person’s freewill is taken away from them with programming on so many levels, that person cannot be blamed for reacting to it.
It seems very sad that things got so bad for me at a time when I was actively trying to become a more positive person in my life. I wish that God, the true, just, & merciful God, would see the truth of what happened in my life, & how some outside party took my freewill away from me, forcing me to be negative.
The following links address negative reinforcement as a self-fulfilling prophecy:
The link above completely explains how a child that originally had a high IQ in gradeschool ended up lucky to graduate highschool with a C average. This is why I make an effort to tell my child she is smart, and have done so since she was a baby. While I am grateful that I have learned, apophatically, about how to be a decent parent, I am saddened by the fact that the life I was supposed to have was stolen from me through these negative types of programming.
Now, I want to list some of the traumas that happened to me as an adult:
-Had a surgery for cervical dysplasia in 2004, wherein I was under a general anesthetic and something terrible happened to me, of which I had a flashback in 2010. This caused a condition known as vulvodynia, which involves a delayed onset of pain resulting from trauma to the area. This pain started in 2008.
-I discovered implants in each ear in 2008, not long before that pain began, and also in the same year, I began to hear voices.
-My boyfriend & father of our daughter, tried to have me locked up twice, which cost me my job.
-He left me in the house he forced us to move into, taking our daughter. I had begged him not to buy this house because the house payment would be about 3 times the rent we were paying (it was the height of the housing bubble in 2005). I wanted to just move out of the neighborhood, into an apartment, until the housing market bubble burst.
-Two weeks after he left, my pain started. It was and is traumatic, especially given its location. It feels like my crotch is being electrocuted.
-He said he’d leave one of our two cars with me, but took both anyway. Being in this kind of constant pain made it difficult for me to walk, much less go find a new job.
-He came busting into the house saying he had a dream I was selling the tools he left there. Given what he did to me, and my condition, I really didn’t have a choice. He tried to smash some of my things, and I tried to stop him. At this point, he grabbed me and threw me on the floor. This happened a total of 3 times, and on the third time, I hit the chair on my way down to the floor. Then he grabbed my cell phone, ran out the front door, stood up against the door so I couldn’t get out, and he called the cops on me for domestic violence. The man is literally twice my size. He does have a record of domestic violence with an ex-girlfriend.
-Not long after that event, the power went off, then the water, and finally garbage service. I was stuck, in horrible, traumatic pain, in the worst heat, which was an additional psychological trauma. I washed my hair in rain water that I collected in storage bins, and I cooked food on a gutted toaster oven, inside which I put fire. When winter came, I would have as many candles lit as I could, to keep the room a bit less cold. I lived like this for over 2 years.
-At one point, a police helicopter flew around the house, at around 2:30 AM, for about a half an hour, with its spotlight shining in the windows. I found the middle point of the house and crouched down there. What is odd about this is the fact that no cop car showed up during this time, which tells me that it was done just to traumatize me.
-He went around the neighborhood, talking to neighbors about me behind my back.
-He put a lock on the mailbox, and used a saw to cut a slit in it. This allowed postal workers to deliver mail, but I was unable to retrieve it.